Archive of Our Own ^beta

One day Oswald walked into the living room and announced he’s leaving.

“For a few days.” he added quickly before Charlie said anything. “I have some business to take care of.”

“Alright.” she said cautiously, slowly putting her book one. “Criminal business?”

“That’s the only kind of business I’ve ever been involved with.” he said with a shrug. “I’m taking care of some loose ends… And getting my money back.” he added with a grin. “My boys are getting married soon. I should get them a truly remarkable gift, meaning… I need money.”

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him in silence. The wedding of two of his henchmen - Schulz and Tennyson - was slowly approaching, that much was true; but…

“You’re rich.” she pointed out. “I gave you all I got as a reward for your head and what Victor paid me as compensation for his involvement in that mess with my heart. That’s a lot of money. Are you trying to buy them an island?”

“No.” he said with a shrug. “But I want to be a prick to a man who owes me a lot of money and is walking on some thin ice, regarding his reputation and his family’s future. Plus… Having more money won’t hurt.”

“Alright.” she said, picking her book back up. “Be safe.”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me.” he eventually said, leaning against the door frame. “Small, quiet town, the blessing of anonymity, birds chirping…”

“Mmmm.” she muttered, not looking up from her book. “Alright, I’m game. Where and when?”

“This friday. Riverdale.”

“Oh!” she gasped, this time looking up. “Riverdale? Really? I’ve been there once, before I first came to Gotham. Nice town.” she added. “Who there owes you money? The Serpents?”

“A businessman, actually. Does it mean you’re coming?”

“Of course I’m coming! I’m a rich socialite and a social outcast. I have no plans. I’ll make us a reservation at Five Seasons.”

“At… What?” he asked, sounding confused; she laughed.

“A hotel.” she explained. “A luxurious hotel. One I couldn’t afford last time I visited Riverdale. I mostly… Hung around the southern part of town. You know. The gang-ridden one.”

“My, my, my.” he said with a theatrical sigh, shaking his head. “Dig out your best leather jacket, love. I want you to show me around. And… I’m sure we’ll find someone local with enough free time to show us the better part of town.”

***

Vicki and Louise tagged along; Vicki claimed she wants to get away from Gotham - a city she nearly destroyed - for a while. Louise, on the other hand, was much more straightforward.

“I’m going to keep an eye on you all.” she stated. “I’m going as your babysitter. Someone has to make sure Oswald and Vicki don’t start a full-on gang war and someone has to make sure no one accidentally flirts with a local psycho. And that someone… Is going to be me, since apparently I’m the only responsible adult in Gotham, now that Harvey Dent’s locked up in Arkham.”

“Bullock’s responsible.” Charlie said hesitantly, to which Louise scoffed.

“He’s a dirty cop and Fish Mooney’s exclusive boytoy. That’s not responsible.”

And it was settled; on a Friday morning all four of them embarked on their journey to Riverdale, a small town in Rockland County, not too far from the Canadian border. The ride itself wasn’t too long and overly eventful; but it was Charlie’s first trip out of Gotham in many months - and first trip with Oswald.

Louise was driving, and Vicki was riding the shotgun; so in theory - Oswald and Charlie had the backseat all to themselves.

“Don’t even think about making out in my car.” Louise said firmly at the very beginning. “Alright? If I as much as hear a single kissing noise - I’m going to shoot both of you and bury your corpses in the middle of a field.”

“But-”

“NO. MAKING. OUT.”

“Okay, mom.” Oswald said sarcastically, rolling his eyes; he was seated in the middle, with Charlie on his right. “Can we at least sleep in one bed? Or are you going to kick me out to a separate room, since I’m the only lad here?”

“I don’t care about your bedroom business, for all I care you both can spend the entire week pounding each other, just… Don’t do it in my car. The only person who’s allowed to fuck in my car is me.”

“Oh, noted.” Vicki said with a pale smile and Louise laughed.

“So, Oswald.” Charlie said, glancing at him. “Tell me about that old friend of yours who owes you money.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t call him a friend.” he said nonchalantly. “I helped him out, he promised to pay me later… But then he went to prison and I was - very explicitly - told to not bother his family. So I waited. But now he’s out and coming to join his wife and daughter in Riverdale. Lovely gals.” he added. “Heard Veronica really inherited Hiram’s brains.”

“Wait.” she interrupted him. “Hiram? As in… Hiram Lodge?”

“Yeah, that’s him!” Oswald said, snapping his fingers. “What, do you know him?”

“Not personally. He wanted to strike a deal with my dad, but he refused. And… He probably had a good reason.” she added, glancing at Oswald, who snickered.

“Yeah, Hiram Lodge’s a filthy bastard.” he admitted. “He doesn’t play nice and has no morals… Which is probably why we got along so well.”

“And what about his family?”

“I was told his daughter is a clever little viper. As for his wife… Well. I can only imagine what kind of woman would go for a ruthless criminal with very loose morals.” he said playfully and she nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.

“And how comes he owes you?”

“Well.” Oswald said with a self-satisfied grin. “See, he approached me one day, right? He wanted a very particular service. So I asked how much are you willing to pay? And he said - un chingo de dinero. But then we both remembered - I don’t speak Spanish. So I asked him to reiterate. And he said - a shitload. So I asked - how much is a shitload? And what do you know? Our definitions match.” he finished with a wink and she laughed; and she could hear Louise and Vicki groaning. “Except he then went to prison and I went to Gotham… But now he’s out of prison and I want to see if our definitions still match.”

“I hope they do.” Charlie said with a shrug. “If not… I think Serpents might be an option.”

“What is with this country and animal-themed criminals?” Louise asked. “In Gotham alone there’s Batman, Penguin, Skua, Killer Croc, Catwoman. Riverdale has a whole gang aptly named Serpents. What’s up with that?”

“Some people never grow out of their furry phase.” Vicki replied, looking out of the window. “I’ve heard about the Serpents. They’re not as bad as people think they are.”

“I know.” Charlie said with a shrug. “I had a one night stand with their leader, FP… Something. It was nice, but the photos of his kids kind of ruined the mood for me. They were everywhere.”

“Oh yeah, you mentioned him.” Oswald remembered. “The knife guy?”

“No, no, the knife guy was after FP and before that butch from Arizona. FP was super vanilla - but back then, so was I.” she added with a shrug. “He’s nice. Tries to keep the Snakes in check as much as possible. Saved my ass when I wandered into their bar.”

“You know, love, I’m starting to see a pattern in your one night stands. Tell me. Is FP ruggedly handsome?”

“Aw, is that jealousy I’m hearing?” she laughed, turning her head to face him. “Don’t worry, Oswald. He really was just a one night stand… Though I have to admit, I might swing by the Whyte Wyrm at some point. They had good beer there.”

“I thought you don’t like beer.”

“Because I don’t, but they had some experimental caramel homebrew. A big guy came up with it and it was delicious. I think his name was… Mustang, or something like this.”

“Mustang the Serpent.” Oswald said, nodding. “Right. Obviously.”

“Shut up, Oswald the Penguin.”

“My name consists of one animal. That guy? I’d love to see his fursona. Must be a pain in the ass to draw.”

***

As it turned out - they arrived in Riverdale a good few days before Hiram’s planned arrival, meaning they had plenty of free time on their hands.

Their hotel was nice - it reminded Charlie of the Peak, the hotel she stayed at during the initial phase of her return to Gotham. It was where she began her casual fling with Oswald; nice place, even if overpriced. And Five Seasons - Riverdale’s crown jewel - was decorated in the same, endearingly posh style; even the staff uniforms were similar to the ones at the Peak.

The apartments of two couples were located right next to each other, on the top floor; they offered a nice view.

“Well that’s odd.” Charlie stated, standing on the balcony. “From what I remember there used to be a mansion on that hill.”

“It recently burned down, miss.” a hotel boy carrying her and Oswald’s suitcases stated.

“Oh my.” she sighed. “It was pretty. The Blossoms lived there, right? Where are they living now?”

“They moved to a smaller house, now that only two of them are left.”

She turned around and looked at the man, furrowing her brows; her earlier visit to town was brief - but everyone who ever went through Riverdale would leave the town with a detailed knowledge of the Blossom family tree. And back then, all those months ago - it definitely seemed bigger.

“Two of them? Do tell - and leave no spicy details out.”

The man shot her a polite smile.

“A filicide, followed by a suicide. Clifford killed his son, but after he was found out - hanged himself. And now only his wife and daughter are left.”

“Good grief.” she muttered, giving the man his hard-earned tip. “And here I thought Riverdale’s quiet and boring.”

In the background, Oswald snickered; as soon as the man left he shot Charlie a meaningful look.

“That’s how it always goes with small towns and dead bodies.” he stated. “Find one, and soon ten more will follow.”

“I wonder what else happened during those months.” Charlie pondered, sitting on the bed. “Thornhill burned down, papa Blossom killed his heir… Maybe I should go to the library and catch up?”

“Or we could stay here for a while.” Oswald suggested, sitting down next to her and sliding his hand up her thigh. “Test exactly how comfortable this bed is.”

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him; but they were interrupted by someone - very persistently - knocking at their door.

It was Vicki and Lou; they wanted to go for a walk.

“Come on, you nymphomaniacs.” Vicki said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. “You can fuck later.”

Charlie glanced at her discreetly; Vale was clearly getting better, more snappy. She seemed to be recovering from whatever Scarecrow did to her during those months she spent as his guinea pig; even if she sometimes seemed anxious irritable. It was understandable, considering everything she went through - but all things considered she seemed to be doing well.

Louise noticed her glance, and raised her eyebrows in a silent question; but Charlie only smiled and shook her head quietly. Things seemed to be going well between Vicki and Lou, even considering their ugly breakup before Lady Arkham happened.

“So, where are we going?” Charlie asked in the elevator. “Riverdale’s not big, you know.”

“We’re going hunting.” Vicki stated. “For some bored local who’s willing to show us the good stuff. Also I want some fries.”

The girl working the counter directed them to the best place to find both fries and bored locals with lots of free time on their hands - a diner, called Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe. It was a nice place, as Charlie remembered; very atmospheric, with jovial owner and milkshakes absolutely delicious in their simplicity. Thankfully the man didn’t remember her from her previous visit; that was not the high point of her life.

“Holy fuck.” Louise muttered, sitting down in a booth. “It’s like time had stopped in the fifties.”

“Right?” Charlie said with a nod, looking around. “Hopefully this can only be said about the aesthetic, rather than… You know. Racism.”

“That remains to be seen, but considering the mayor’s a black woman… Maybe there’s some hope for this place.”

After placing their - rather big - order and chatting up a group of young locals, Oswald returned to their booth, smiling triumphantly.

“I found us a tour guide.” he announced, sliding back into his spot next to Charlie. “A few, actually. Hiram’s daughter among them.”

“Oh my.” Charlie muttered, glancing in the direction of the group. “Are you going to kidnap her to make sure her father pays you back?”

“I might have self destructive tendencies, but even I’m not suicidal enough to lay a finger on Hiram’s daughter.” he stated, sounding almost offended. “No, I was thinking about… Being nice. I heard people actually prefer it when I’m nice, what do you know.”

Louise shot Charlie a warning look; and she promptly ignored it.

“Not me.” she stated cheerfully. “His daughter’s the dark haired, right?”

“Uh-uh.”

“She’s pretty.” Charlie decided. “I like her style. Is the ginger one her boyfriend?”

“I think his name’s Archie.”

“He looks nice. And what about the other two?”

“Betty and… Jughead.” Oswald said after glancing in their direction; she furrowed her brows. The name Jughead definitely ringed a bell - but she couldn’t for the love of god connect it with a person. “They’re all chatty.”

“Birds of a feather flock together.” Vicki sighed. “You never shut up either.”

“Which this time might actually turn out to be an advantage.” Oswald said nonchalantly; they got their food and Oswald instantly dipped his fry in Charlie’s strawberry milkshake.

They spent a good few hours there, instead of actually taking a walk; but they decided they have time.

They left the diner after the sundown; Vicki and Lou suggested going back to the hotel - but Oswald had a different idea in mind.

“I want to see the infamous Southside.” he stated. “Where my people live.”

“Your people?” Louise said skeptically.

“Criminal scum! No good crooks! I might be rich and free, but some things are forever.”

“Just admit you want to see the man Charlie fucked before she met you.” Vicki said, not looking at him.

“What? No!” Oswald said quickly; too quickly.

Charlie smiled lightly, brushing his hand with her fingertips.

“We can go to the Wyrm.” she said finally. “You can stand your ground, the Serpents seem to respect people like this, as long as they don’t snoop around. But before we go there… I have to change.” she said. “I’m not dressed up for the occasion.”

“What, you mean a light dress and heels are not a good outfit for a visit at a biker bar? Shocking!” Oswald said playfully.

In the elevator, Louise informed them they’re on their own during their trip to the Wyrm.

“I can’t be seen there.” she said, shaking her head. “You three have the worst reputation in Gotham, but me? I’m the district attorney. Being friend with Charlie - and by extension with you two - is one thing, but this? This is something I really can’t afford.”

“I’ll stay too.” Vicki said almost instantly and Oswald snickered; Charlie nudged him with her elbow to make him shut up.

“Looks like it’s going to be just the two of us and a bar full of bikers.” he said as she was going through her clothes, looking for something to wear. “A taste of your old life.”

“Not my most favorite part of my life.” she admitted, finally finding what she was looking for; the exact clothes she wore last time she was at the Wyrm - a loose, black shirt, very stylish, distressed skinny jeans with leather insets and a worn-up jacket. “But it had its moments, such as… The Wyrm.”

“I’m having a hard time imagining you there.” he said as she was changing, following her with his eyes. “Me? I’ve spent half my life in seedy bars and pubs. But you? You sleep on silk sheets and can only stand the softest kind of nipple clamps.”

“Well, you said it yourself - I had to be tough.” she said with a shrug. “So I got tough. Plus… Come on. I’m a pretty girl. No matter what - I could always count on some white knight to swoop in and save me. Case in point… FP Something and you.”

“What if he’s there?” Oswald suddenly asked. “Are you going to chat him up?”

“If he recognizes me.” she said with a shrug. “And then I’ll point to you and say by the way, this is my boyfriend, the Penguin of Gotham. He’s cool.”

Oswald laugh, and there was a note of relief in his laughter. He didn’t like admitting to jealousy - but she didn’t have any problem with him feeling weird about the fact they’re going out to meet her other one night stand. She was a bit old fashioned like that.

Finally she was ready; she stuffed everything into her pockets - her phone, documents, wallet, and a switchblade, because you never know.

“Are you going to get into a knife fight?” Oswald asked after noticing it. “Or is that part of town that bad?”

“You never know.” she said with a shrug. “I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

They left their key at the front desk and walked down the street, Oswald’s arm wrapped around her waist.

“You look great.” he said at some point. “The bad girl style suits you.”

“You say that about everything I wear.”

“Yes, because it’s true. You look good no matter what you wear.”

“Aww.” she said jokingly, feeling pleasant warmth in her stomach. “You might want to cool it down a notch with this sweet talking.”

“Relax, Charlie, I know the rules. I’m not going to go around paying compliments to random bikers. If anything… I’m going to challenge them to a duel. And win, thus asserting my dominance.”

“Planning on expanding Penguin’s criminal empire?”

“And defending the honor of his lady, yes.”

It was a long walk; but eventually they saw they destination.

“I only was there briefly, you know.” she said as they were walking towards the bar. “Two nights. I doubt anyone even remembers me.”

“Oh, but love, you’re impossible to forget.”

As it turned out - Oswald was right. Shortly after entering the dimly lit bar - filled with thick smoke and hoarse laughter - they were spotted by a man Charlie remembered from her last visit. He went by the nickname Tall Boy - and during her second and last night in Riverdale she won his blade in a game of billiards.

“Red!” he called out to her. “Been a while!”

“A long while and many miles, Tall Boy.” she said, walking up to him; Oswald quietly followed. “And yet you’re still ugly. Your knife’s still sharp though.” she added, fishing it out of her pocket. “Want to win it back?”

“Still feisty.” Tall Boy stated, firmly patting her on her back. “What brings you back here, Red? Another manhunt?”

“You could say that.” she said with a shark-like smile; last time she was in Riverdale she was looking for Harry - and one of her leads directed her there. “But this time I’m not out for blood.”

“So, does it mean-”

“That I got my prey?” she interrupted him. “Yeah. I got him.”

Tall Boy nodded, before glancing at Oswald.

“And who’s the pansy?” he finally asked, looking at him mockingly.

“He’s with me.” she said quickly, before Oswald said anything. “So be nice to him, Tall Boy. He’s one very feisty penguin.”

“You could say I’m the feistiest penguin.” Oswald added in her favorite tone of his; slightly cocky, slightly playful, with thinly veiled threat hidden underneath.

“Penguin.” Tall Boy repeated. “The arms dealer?”

“And a boxer, a thief and a con artist. I’m a man of many talents… Boy.” Oswald said; and despite his light tone and a smile Tall Boy shot him in response - the atmosphere changed. It was tense; and there was a dark, unpleasant spark in Tall Boy’s eyes. Things were going to get ugly - and FP Something was nowhere to be seen.

“Show me what you’ve got, birdie.” Tall Boy eventually said.

“Are you challenging me to a duel, Boy?”

“That’s one way to call it. You’re going to get your ass kicked.” Tall Boy said, returning his attention to Charlie. “Your dog yaps a lot, Red. It might get him in trouble.”

“It’s a good thing I’m here to be his voice of reason.” she said, trying to hide her unrest behind a smile. “So, Tall Boy, what does a girl have to do to get a beer around here? Does Mustang still sell his caramel brew?”

“Mustang’s dead.” Tall Boy stated and Charlie crossed her arms. “Don’t look so surprised, Red. It’s a dangerous way of life. He knew what is he getting into.”

“Aww.” she said sadly. “He was the worst, but his beer was the best. What happened to him?”

Tall Boy motioned to her and Oswald to follow him - and they did.

“Are you really going to fight him?” Charlie asked Oswald quietly.

“Of course.” he replied calmly. “Relax, love, I nearly took Batman down. I can take a washed up small town biker.”

Tall Boy, Charlie and Oswald sat down at a rickety table at the back of the room; from there they had a good view on everyone else.

“So what’s the story with Mustang?” Charlie asked after a silent, tattooed bartender set down their beers in front of them. “It looks like plenty of things happened when I was gone.”

“You heard about the Blossom thing?”

“I’ve heard there was a murder and that Thornhill burned down.”

“Clifford Blossom was dealing drugs.” Tall Boy stated. “And his boy - Jason - didn’t want to be a part of it, so he killed him… And then he took care of the Serpents who helped. Mustang and boss… Are gone.”

“What?” she asked, feeling some weird, bitter taste in her mouth, something that should be there, since she didn’t as much as touch her beer yet. “FP is dead?”

Tall Boy laughed.

“No, but he’ll be touched someone else than me and his boy cares.” he finally said. “No, he’s locked up. He didn’t take the sheriff’s deal and he’s going to sit for a long time. Blossom threatened his boy to get him to help.”

“Oh.” she said with relief. “Shit, you for a moment you had me worried. FP’s a decent guy.”

“Yeah.” Tall Boy said with a solemn nod. “But he’s alive. So tonight… Let’s drink to Mustang. That bastard.” he added under his breath.

They quietly clinked their glasses; Oswald didn’t join, instead watching them quietly.

“And Thornhill?” she choked out after taking a sip of her beer; it was disgusting.

“No one knows for sure. They say it was an accident, but who the fuck knows? For all I care it could be Jason’s sister. Pretty little thing went nuts after they fished her brother out of the Sweetwater.”

“Christ.” Charlie muttered, mostly referring to the fact this - very much grown up - man just referred to a high schooler as pretty little thing.

For a moment, they sat in silence; eventually they were interrupted by a breathless, pale boy in a leather jacket and a crown-shaped hat. He looked familiar; very familiar.

“Tall Boy!” he called out. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’m busy, Jones.” Tall Boy said, not looking at him; and in that moment - when Jug’s eyes rested on her face - something in her head clicked and she connected the dots. The boy stared at her in silence, and she smiled nervously.

“What do you want?” Tall Boy finally asked with a heavy sigh; Jughead Jones didn’t reply, too busy staring at Charlie’s face. “Jones. The fuck do you want?” he repeated angrily; which brought FP’s son - whose photos she saw in FP’s trailer that night they had sex - back to Earth.

He said something to Tall Boy; too quietly for her to hear. Tall Boy groaned and got up, looking at Oswald.

“Tomorrow at midnight, birdie.” he said. “Behind this bar.”

“Aight.” Oswald replied, not looking at him. “Nice to see you, Jug.” he added. “Your offer still stands?”

“Yeah, yeah, see you tomorrow.” Jughead said, again glancing at her; he and Tall Boy left and she instantly turned to face Oswald - who was staring at her with a wide grin on his face.

“What are you so happy about?!”

“This night just got great.” he stated. “That biker… Good friend of yours?”

“Looks like it.” she said nervously. “Maybe I did leave an impression. Look, about that kid-”

“Jughead Jones.” he interrupted her. “And before you ask: no, I did not know he’s the son of a man you spent a night with. Did you know?”

“I just figured it out!” she said desperately. “This is going to be awkward.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Oswald said gleefully. “Especially considering the fact… The kid seems to be very into you.”

“Jesus Fuck.” she muttered, finishing her beer in one gulp and wincing. “Aren’t you jealous?”

“He’s a bony high schooler. There’s not much to be jealous about.”

“And are you really going to fight Tall Boy tomorrow?”

“Well, yes.” he said with a shrug. “And I assume… You’re going to cheer on me?”

“Of course.” she said softly. “Kick Tall Boy’s ass for claiming a high school girl is pretty.”

“You said the same thing about Veronica Lodge.”

“Yes I did, but I’d not stare at her tits. Tall Boy? He would.”

“I thought you like him.”

“So did I.” she muttered. “Shit, I don’t even know Cheryl Blossom, but I already feel sorry for her.”

All in all, the night was alright - even though when they were playing billiard someone put their hand on Charlie’s ass, laughing. A shiver of disgust ran down her spine as she slowly turned around to face the man; Oswald clenched his fists, but she stopped him.

“Let me handle this one.” she said.

The man was drunk, and she was pissed off - and hell hath no fury like a woman touched by a stranger without her consent.

Someone handed her a bottle of beer and she took a sip, not taking her eyes off the - now unconscious - man.

“Blimey O’Reilly, love.” Oswald muttered. “You really are in your element here.”

“I’m not.” she said, turning around; so only he could see the tears of humiliation in her eyes. “I’m tired. Let’s jet.”

She stormed out without waiting for him; the cool night air cleared her slightly buzzed head.

“You alright, love?”

“Not really, no.” she admitted, looking away. “I guess… I forgot about the unpleasant details of places like the Wyrm.”

“I can go back and stab him for you.” he offered; but she shook her head.

“Don’t bother, he won’t remember anything anyway.”

She took a few steps - and tripped. The beer was stronger than she thought.

“Shit.” she muttered, glancing at Oswald. “Get down.”

“What, here?” he said playfully, getting on his knees. “This is public indecency.”

He gave her a piggyback ride back to the hotel; and the receptionist looked at them with disapproval as they stopped by the front desk to get their key back.

She only got off him as they were entering the elevator.

“Thanks.” she said quietly, pressing the button. “Will you carry me to bed as well?”

He only nodded; and he did carry her. They fell asleep almost instantly, not even bothering with undressing; and the warmth of his arms wrapped around her almost made her forget about the feeling of a stranger’s hand on her body.

Almost.

***

Vicki and Louise woke them up around noon with persistent knocking; Charlie only whimpered and hid her head under the pillow. Oswald groaned and got out of bed to let them in.

“Rise and shine!” Louise said. “It’s noon. Get up, take a shower, let’s get moving.”

“I don’t wanna.” Charlie muttered; she was hungover enough to not want to leave the bed. “Go without me.”

But eventually they managed to convince her to get ready; and they all went to Pop’s for late breakfast, Charlie’s and Oswald’s hair still wet.

“God.” she groaned. “Now I really mourn Mustang. His beer didn’t give me a hangover.”

“So what happened last night?” Louise asked in a chipper tone. “How was the Wyrm?”

“A dude I once played billiard with challenged Oswald to a fistfight. Also the guy I banged is in jail. And… His son is going to be one of our tour guides.”

“And he has hots for Charlie.” Oswald chimed in. “I saw the way he looks at her, poor boy’s lovestruck! Can’t blame him though. Charlie’s a doll.” he added, wrapping his arm around her waist and planting a kiss on her temple; and she smiled palely. With bare face and hair moist and messy she felt more like a soggy bread roll than a doll; but Oswald’s words did make her feel a bit better.

“I left you two alone for one night.” Louise sighed. “A fistfight. Of fucking course.”

“It’s not my fault a guy walks around and introduces himself as Tall Boy.” Oswald said with a shrug. “Oooh. Our tour guides are already here.”

Charlie groaned quietly, briefly glancing at Jughead; he could see faint resemblance to FP’s tired, handsome face in his soft features - especially in the right light. He stared at her and she stared back, as the others were introducing each other.

“I’m Veronica Lodge.” the pretty girl said to her. “And you probably don’t remember me, but we were in the same social circles back in NY.”

She was right - Charlie didn’t remember her; but then again, she barely remembered anyone back from New York.

“Jughead Jones.” she eventually muttered, shaking the boy’s pale hand. “I crossed paths with your father once. He helped me out. Decent man.”

“Really?” Jughead said, sounding surprised.

“Yeah. He’s alright.”

“Alright, so we’ll wait for you guys to eat your breakfast.” a girl named Betty announced. “And then we can get going! Kevin might join us.” she added, looking at Veronica. “He says he’s bored.”

Jughead walked them to a booth.

“What were you doing at the Wyrm last night?” he asked quietly, as Vicki and Lou excused themself to use the restroom. “Tall Boy’s pretty pissed off.”

“Relax, we have it under control.” Charlie groaned. “Oswald wanted to see the Southside, so I showed him the Wyrm. Didn’t expect Tall Boy to be there.”

“Yeah, well, he’s there every night since he took over the Serpents for my father.”

“Oh, so he’s running the Serpents now?” Charlie sighed. “Did you hear that, Oswald? You’re going to fight the leader of the Serpents.”

“Go big or go home.” Oswald said, getting up. “I’ll be right back, someone has to order.”

For a moment, Charlie and Jughead were left alone; he kept staring at her - and she was too hungover to be subtle.

“You’re staring at me.” she said, glancing at him. “Why?”

“I’m solving a puzzle.” he said. “The puzzle being… How does someone like you end up in a place like this?”

She didn’t feel like coming up with a convincing lie.

“I was looking for someone, and my source pointed me in general direction of the Serpents. Now… I’m keeping him company.” she said, nodding towards Oswald. “Here’s your answer. Or was that just a shitty pick up line?”

Oswald and the girls came back before Jughead said anything; Oswald set something down in front of her and she smiled at the sight of prairie oyster, one of very few hangover remedies that actually worked for her.

“Thanks.” she said after swallowing. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“One of my many, many talents.” he said with a grin as Jughead slowly walked away. “What did the baby biker want?”

“To talk in cliches. FP did mention his son’s a… Literary type.”

“Are you going to break his heart?” Louise asked, sitting down; Vicki patted Oswald on his shoulder and said something to him, too quietly for Charlie to hear. They walked away, talking in hushed tones.

“Well, yeah.” Charlie said with a shrug. “I’m an adult woman, and he’s in high school. Also I banged his father.”

“Yeah, you mentioned it once or twice.” Louise said jokingly. “Tell me about it. How did it happen?”

“Same way it happened with Oswald, to be honest.” she said with a shrug. “I was in Wyrm looking for a friend of a friend of a cousin, I looked at a wrong guy funny, and before I knew it… I was in trouble. But it turned out - even the most drunk Serpents respect their leader, so FP intervened. He warned me to be careful, asked me a few things, I bought him a beer since he was broke… And then things sort of happened by itself.”

“And how was it?”

“It was nice.” she said with a shrug. “Very vanilla, but nice. Also I think he cried.”

Oswald and Vicki came back just as they got their food; with her hangover gone, Charlie was hungry like a wolf and kept stealing Oswald’s hash browns.

“What were you two doing?” Louise asked, buttering a piece of toast. “Starting a gang war?”

“You’ll see.” Vicki said, pouring some syrup on her pancakes. “But I think this time no one’s going to die. Probably.”

After eating, they rejoined their young companions; they seemed eager and chatty, especially Veronica Lodge. Oswald would occasionally glance at her - but it was always very brief and rather indifferent. He asked her some questions - when did she come to Riverdale, if she likes it here, if she misses New York. He didn’t as much as mention Hiram; and Veronica seemed to be unaware of the fact her father owes Penguin money.

“So, between us girls…” Veronica said eventually, shooting her a meaningful glance. “I’ve been checking the NY news from time to time, when feeling especially homesick. What really happened with your husband?”

Louise looked at them nervously; but Charlie didn’t mind. Yes, the story with Harry was ugly and painful and costed her nearly everything, her parents included - but she couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen.

“I’ll tell you.” she said calmly. “But only if you tell me where did you get this dress. It’s bomb.”

“Oh, thank you!” Veronica said with a smile. “You have my word. But now… The story. I’ve been dying to hear it from a reliable source, people in NYC only had gossips.”

“Gossips? Like what?”

“Oh, you can imagine.” Veronica said with a shrug. “A secret affair, a political dispute… Someone even claimed my father sent Spencer to destroy your family’s good name after your dad refused an alliance. Oh yeah!” she added, seeing Charlie’s surprised look. “I know my father tried to get mixed up in Crispin’s political career. It’s a good thing he refused.”

“Yeah, my father always knew how to pick his alliances.” Charlie sighed. “I wish I could tell I inherited this instinct from him. Anyway…”

She was in Riverdale, a small town not too far from New York - and she was talking about her failed marriage to a teenage girl, a daughter of a businessman who owed Penguin a lot of money. Plenty of bad decisions from plenty of people had lead her to that exact point; but it didn’t matter, even though the story was painful and she had to omit some of the details, such as the night she spent with Jughead’s currently incarcerated father. Veronica Lodge was very invested in her personal life - and seemed to be blissfully unaware of things happening in Gotham, a city located just a few hours from Riverdale.

“This is incredible.” Vicki muttered to Oswald behind Charlie’s back. “Were we really only worth of local coverage?”

“How to know you’re living in interesting times: when two costumed supervillains leading a revolution don’t make it to national news.” Oswald replied and Vicki snorted quietly.

The kids were nice, Charlie decided; even if Veronica’s knowledge of NY social elite was an uncomfortable reminder of Charlie’s previous life. Once she hit the road in search of Harry, she completely lost contact with those people; sometimes she’d forget they even existed in the first place. But it turned out her downfall, disappearance and sudden resurgence in Gotham caused quite a stir in certain circles - even if version of a story that reached Veronica completely omitted the Penguin and Thomas Elliot.

Probably for the better, Charlie decided, looking at Veronica’s meticulously penciled eyebrows and tastefully elegant clothes. Let kids be kids for a while longer; plus it was nice, for a change being around someone who didn’t know about the scar on her chest.

***

Oswald seemed to be unbothered by the fact he’s going to fight a de-facto leader of the Serpents.

“I made my living this way for years, love.” he said with a yawn. “I’m stronger than I look, I’m quick, I’m deadly. He won’t even know what hit him… Plus I do have a hidden ace up my sleeve.”

Few hours before midnight they were sitting at Pop’s; Vicki, Louise, Veronica and Betty left them to their own devices, and they were accompanied by Jughead and Archie. People of Riverdale claimed Jug and Archie are clever boys - and yet they seemed to be very oblivious to the fact Charlie would prefer to spend the late afternoon and early night alone with Oswald.

Her lovebird, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy both the attention and her discomfort caused by Jughead’s endearingly intense gazes; it wasn’t the first time she was a subject of someone’s puppy crush - and Oswald thrived off socially awkward situations.

“Are you going to cheat?” Archie asked, and Charlie glanced at him; he had a very pretty face, and didn’t actually look like a teenager, mostly thanks to his - sort of bulky - body. He was on a football team, and spent the last summer helping his father out with his construction business, which involved carrying a lot of heavy stuff; he was ripped.

“I don’t have to cheat to have an advantage.” Oswald stated, nodding towards Jughead. “Besides, I know he’s a Serpent. Even if I was going to cheat… I wouldn’t admit to it.”

“Tall Boy’s a reserved man.” Jughead pointed out, finally taking his eyes off Charlie. “He tends to stay away from trouble. How exactly did you end up challenged by him?”

“I made fun of his nickname.” Oswald said with a shrug, stealing an onion ring from Charlie. “Hey, those are good. Do you think the owner would give me a recipe.”

“No chance.” Archie said, solemnly shaking his head. “Pop doesn’t share his secrets.”

“Oh really?” Oswald said, getting up. “Watch this.”

Before Charlie had time to do anything, Oswald walked up to the jovial owner and started to chat him up; they talked too quietly for her to hear anything, but even from the distance Charlie could see he’s putting all of his charms to work.

“Oswald and his silver tongue.” she sighed; Archie was watching him, visibly fascinated - but Jughead only glanced at him and Pop, before returning his attention to her.

“So, Jughead.” she said, deciding to play it neutral - there was no point in giving him false hopes, even though she felt like everything might be interpreted wrong by this broody boy. “How did you end up with the Serpents?”

“They took me in after my father went to jail.” he said. “They showed up on my doorstep with a jacket, so I didn’t really have much choice. No is not really an option when Tall Boy’s offering you help. You saw him. Now imagine opening your door in the middle of the night, wearing only your underwear, to see him and about ten other Serpents outside, looking you in the eye and saying you’re one of us now.”

She nodded silently. Tall Boy was intimidating; back during her trip it costed her a lot to suppress her anxiety for long enough to get his relative respect.

“He told me how did your father end up in jail.” she said cautiously. “He obviously cares about you a lot.”

“Yeah.” Jughead said quietly. “I guess he does… At least he’s a much better father than Clifford Blossom ever was.”

“That’s an extreme example, isn’t it?”

“I guess.” he said with a shrug. “Hal Cooper it is then.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“Betty’s father. Her sister got pregnant with Jason Blossom, so… Hal sent her away. As you do as a caring parent.” he said cynically. “So I guess my father’s still on the good side of parenthood.”

She looked at him in silence; he didn’t know. He had no idea exactly how much does FP love him. FP wasn’t great at showing love, or even affection - but he was full of them, and there were moment when those things would spill. She’d love to tell Jughead about it - but there was no good way of describing how did she find out about it in the first place.

“He is.” she simply said as Oswald returned to the booth, grinning triumphantly. “Welcome back, Silver Tongue.”

“I got the recipe.” he announced, showing her a piece of paper. “Pop Tate got nothing on me and my years of… Practice.”

She laughed quietly; he was probably right. A small town diner owner - no matter how old - couldn’t possibly outwit someone charismatic enough to land a position of Wayne Enterprises CEO, even if only for a short time.

“Don’t lose it.” she said, taking the paper out of his hand and sliding it into her pocket. “But… I’m proud of you.”

“A kiss for the victor, perhaps?”

She kissed him with a smile; Archie looked away with embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Jughead, on the other hand, didn’t look away, as she realized after moving away from Oswald, her cheeks flushed.

“It might be time for us to get going.” Oswald said, keeping his hand on her thigh. “I still have to show Charlie my secret advantage against the Tall Boy. See you there?”

“Absolutely.”

“Splendid!” Oswald said, getting up. “Come on, love.”

After they left the diner Oswald looked at her with a puzzling expression on his face.

“He’s head over heels with you.” he finally said. “I would know. I acted the same when I was a teenager.”

“Oh my god, really?” she sighed. “Did you really acted like Jughead Jones when you were a kid?”

“Uh-uh. And that part about accidentally joining a gang? Classic me. But, back to baby biker. Aren’t you going to at least throw him a bone?” he asked jokingly and she groaned and nudged him with her elbow.

“Teenagers get crushes on adults all the time, you know.” she said, walking down the street. “I know I did. My mother used to be friends with this dentist, right? I pined after him for months - and I acted so fucking dumb because of it. But I was a teenager.” she said with a shrug. “Hormones buzzing, the long path of self-discovery, yadda yadda. Happens to everyone, sooner or later. And to answer your question… No.” she said, shaking her head. “He’s a high school boy. I’m an adult woman - who had sex with his father. I don’t have anything against his sad pining, but that’s all that’s ever going to happen.”

“Even if he jacks off to you?”

“There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’d rather just not think about it. You know, I sometimes wonder if that dentist remembers me.” she said, desperate to change the topic. “My mother ended this friendship after she found out he voted for Bush.”

“That’s a good reason. So, about tonight…”

“Yes, that mysterious ace up your sleeve. What do you have on Tall Boy? Except for years of experience, that is.”

He snickered, pulling her closer.

“Honestly, I think he went through his fair share of fights as well. But what I have… Is you.”

“I’m not going to be your second.” she said instantly. “I don’t stand a chance against Tall Boy.”

“That’s not what I meant!” he said hastily. “No offense to your skills, but he’d probably crush you.”

“None taken. So, where do I come in?”

“I’ll tell you in private. It’s… A delicate topic.” he said evasively.

There were voices coming out of the apartment Vicki shared with Louise; hushed and tense. They were talking with someone whose voice Charlie didn’t recognize; someone named Kevin.

“Let’s not interrupt them.” Oswald said, glancing towards their door.

“What’s going on there? Something shady?”

“You could say that.” he said, opening the door to their own room. “But nothing too shady. No one’s going to go to jail, hopefully.”

“Alright.” she said, deciding to not push any further. “So. Tall Boy.”

“First promise me you won’t laugh.”

“This is what people say before telling me something I’ll definitely laugh at, so no deal.” she said, shaking her head and crossing her arms. “Come on, Oswald.”

“Come closer. I don’t want everyone else staying on the same floor to hear this.”

So she walked up to him and he smiled, and quietly - very quietly, so quietly only she could hear him - told her about his secret; and she was grateful she didn’t promise him she’s not going to laugh.

“Oh my god.” she choked out after her wheezing fit ended. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” he said with a shrug. “I’ve won plenty matches like this.”

“And how comes no one ever said anything about you having a boner?”

“Usually they were too busy with the fact I’m beating the shit out of them to notice.” he said with a wink. “So, are you going to help?”

“Of course I’m going to help!” she said excitedly. “As well as cheer on you… And be your prize.”

“Even if I lose?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

***

And she was right.

Oswald’s secret technique sounded absolutely ridiculous - but it worked. Turned out being aroused with no satisfaction - even the slightest one - can do wonders to one’s testosterone levels; and Charlie was more than happy to provide him with means of achieving this state of mind.

“You can look, but you can’t touch” she said to him back at the hotel, sliding her hand between her legs and looking him in the eye; and it worked, it worked beautifully.

(Ironically enough, she thought about the upcoming fight that evening - she thought about the way his muscles would move under his skin, the way his skin would glisten with sweat, about that devilish spark in his eye, about blood smeared on his face, his bruised fingers.)

Plenty of people were gathered behind the Wyrm when they appeared, Jughead and Archie among them; at first she didn’t notice them, her cheeks flushed and her thoughts hazy.

(Oswald asked her to wait for him on the edge of bliss; and she was happy to do so.)

“Tall Boy really hyped this one up.” Jughead said, looking around. “He seems to be very confident in his victory.”

“Pride goeth before the fall.” Oswald said hoarsely, barely glancing at Jughead. “It’s about to start, right?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Splendid. Hey, love.” he said, slightly tightening his grip around her waist. “Give me a good luck kiss?”

She kissed him with trembling lips, and he pulled her closer; and she was almost angry when Jughead - very meaningfully - cleared his throat.

“Give him hell!” she called out to Oswald as he was walking away; he blew her a kiss and disappeared in the crowd to get ready.

“Tall Boy’s a good fighter.” Jughead stated, leading her and Archie to their spot next to a makeshift rink. “And Oswald looks… Scrawny.”

“He’s tougher than he looks.” she said firmly. “For a good decade or so he was a part of an illegal gambling league in Essex. He’s been fighting for a living. He’s good.”

“Yeah, but Tall Boy’s FP’s right hand for a reason.” Archie pointed out. “He’s like… Super tough. Like the Hulk.”

“And Oswald has two fists and a lot of determination.” she said as she bumped into Vicki, accompanied by someone Charlie didn’t recognize - a young boy with very plain face, neatly styled hair and rather big, eye-catching ears. “Hey, Vicki!”

“Hey, Charlie.” Vicki said with a faint smile. “Here to cheer on Oz?”

“Of course.” she said, glancing at her companion. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

“I’m Kevin.” the boy said almost instantly. “Keller. Sheriff’s son.”

“Oh.” she said, not trying to hide her surprise. “And… Does your father know about you being here?”

“Of course he doesn’t.” Kevin said, rolling his eyes. “But he also didn’t know about me dating a Serpent for a good few months. And what he doesn’t know… Can’t be used against me. Also I’ve heard a hot guy is going to be fighting tonight.” he added with a smile. “And let me tell you, us gays don’t have much fun things to do around here. We get to be someone’s accessory, or a laughing stock, we can ogle some bad boy Serpents… And that’s pretty much it.”

“Riverdale’s a shit place to live in if you’re gay.” Vicki added. “Kevin’s out and proud and people are taking it well, but…”

“...but the backwater, patronizing attitude towards homosexuality gets very tiring very quickly.” Kevin finished. “Being someone’s pet gay’s all fine and dandy, because most people pamper their pets - but most people also don’t take their pets seriously. And sometimes it’s nice to hear someone’s thoughts on Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.”

“And us gays should stick together.” Vicki added with a grin. “I’ve always wanted to babysit a baby gay. Feels nice. Feels organic.”

“Does Lou know?”

“She’s also here, on the back. Claims she couldn’t possibly miss out on Oswald getting his ass handed to him.”

“Am I seriously the only person here who believes in him?” Charlie asked and Vicki laughed.

“Kevin also believes in Oswald.” she eventually said.

“But only because Tall Boy’s ugly and not my type.” Kevin added. “Oswald’s not my type either, but at least he’s not fugly.”

“You should seriously raise your standards, Keller.” Jughead said, shaking his head; Charlie raised her eyebrows.

“Are you calling Oswald ugly, Jughead?”

“He certainly isn’t pretty.”

“Of course he isn’t. I’m the pretty one. He’s the handsomely rugged one.”

“To be honest, Oswald has nothing on Jughead’s dad.” Kevin chimed in. “No offense, Jughead.”

“It’s fine.” he said with a resigned shrug. “Cheryl Blossom walks around calling people’s fathers dilfs since she learned how to bat her eyelashes. I’m used to hearing my father’s hot.”

(In this light, in a Serpents’s jacket, with his hair dishevelled, Jughead Jones looked a lot like his beautiful father.)

“That’s probably because he is hot. Also Cheryl’s opinion doesn’t matter, since she once said the same thing about Archie’s dad. No offense, Archie.”

“None taken.”’

“Ooh, it’s starting, it’s starting!” Vicki suddenly said, jumping up and down; and she was right. After turning around, Charlie saw this night’s contenders; and Oswald’s lanky body looked rather harmless when compared to Tall Boy’s bulky muscles; and she smiled, remembering the feeling of his scars under her fingertips.

“Oswald!” she called out, jumping up and down and waving like crazy; he noticed and blew her a kiss.

A Serpent girl - Jughead informed Charlie her name is Toni Topaz - announced the contenders; and on her mark - it began.

Oswald’s agility and Tall Boy’s raw strength balanced each other out - Oswald couldn’t land a punch hard enough to gain an upper hand, and Tall Boy wasn’t quick enough to actually get Oswald. In a long run, it could work in Oswald’s advantage - there was a possibility of Tall Boy’s energy running out in result of Oswald’s quick punches; but there also was a possibility of Oswald losing his balance. And a brief moment out of focus, a split-second of imbalance was everything Tall Boy would need to catch Oswald off guard; and Charlie watched them, cheering on Oswald from the sidelines. He was quick like lightning; and very, very nice to watch.

Eventually, the inevitable happened; Oswald was fighting on an unfamiliar ground and he slipped. Charlie gasped loudly, as he was regaining his balance; and Tall Boy was about to land a destructive punch on him-

-and in that moment someone threw a stone. It hit Tall Boy in the head; not hard enough to actually hurt him - but hard enough to distract him for long enough for Oswald to regain his balance and jump back.

“Who did this?!” Tall Boy roared, furiously looking around; silence fell around the rink, as Tall Boy’s eyes found Charlie. “YOU.”

“She didn’t do anything!” Jughead said hastily, before Charlie reacted; Tall Boy angrily walked up to them and she instinctively took a step back, bumping into motionless Archie. “Tall Boy, step down!”

“I know she did it!” Tall Boy growled, angrily slamming his hands into the railing. “Pansy has no chance against me, so of course he had to use Red to cheat his way out of losing!”

“That’s a very nice theory, and not what happened!” Jughead said equally angrily. “I’ve been watching her, and she didn’t do it!”

“Jug’s telling the truth.” Archie chimed in. “She didn’t throw the stone.”

“Step back, Tall Boy.” Jughead said, sounding almost threatening - but he was still just a bony, pale teenager. “Or my father will hear about this. He’s the leader. He’s the Serpent. And even from prison, even from behind bars… He can - and will - make your life hell if he finds out about you throwing baseless accusations left and right.”

“Break time!” Toni hastily announced, breaking the tense silence. “Five minutes!”

Tall Boy muttered something under his breath and walked away; on his way to the other side of the rink he bumped into Oswald, who only rolled his eyes.

“Bloody bastard’s tougher than I thought.” he panted out, leaning against the wooden rail; he was covered in sweat, his dark hair were sticking to his forehead and blood was oozing from the wound in his bottom lip. “Does someone have water?”

“Here.” Vicki said, handing him a sealed bottle over Charlie’s shoulder; he opened it with his teeth and drank half of it, pouring the rest on his head.

“Thanks.” he said, throwing the empty bottle to the side. “So, which of you wankers threw the stone?”

“None of us.” Charlie stated, looking around. “Who knows, maybe it was Batman.”

“Batman in Riverdale.” Oswald muttered, spitting some blood out. “That’d be absolutely bloody lovely-”

She interrupted him with a kiss; she grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his, tasting the blood on his lips. Someone whistled; but she didn’t care.

He grabbed the fabric of her shirt and pulled her closer; they only let go after Toni announced there’s only a minute left.

“Kick his ass.” she whispered into his lips; he leaned in to kiss her again, but she laughed and pushed him away, his skin so hot it felt like fire.

“I love you.” she said as he was walking away.

“I know.” he said over his shoulder. “I love you too, you bloody tease.”

Tall Boy was still angry - and his anger clouded his judgement, made him reckless, too focused on offense, rather than defense; which allowed Oswald to hit him repeatedly, methodically, until Tall Boy could barely stand.

Oswald won - but he wasn’t quite finished. He looked around, as if he was looking for something; suddenly he smiled like a shark - and when she followed his gaze with her eyes she laughed, seeing the man from the last night, the one who put his hand on her ass.

“I know you told me to not bother!” Oswald called out to her, loud enough for everyone to hear. “But I’m having too much fun to stop now!”

“Kick his ass, babe!”

“That’s the first time you ever called me that!” he replied, sounding overjoyed. “You there!” he called out to the man. “Yes, you! YOU’RE NEXT.”

“What did this one do?” Jughead asked, as they watch Oswald beat the shit out of the nameless man.

“He touched my ass without my consent.” she said, watching Oswald land a final punch. “And Oz… Can really hold a mean grudge.”

“Yeah.” Jughead muttered. “I can see that much.”

Oswald disappeared to retrieve his clothes, and people started to slowly spread out; not many people wanted to be seen hanging out with someone who publicly humiliated a de-facto leader of the Serpents.

“Isn’t Tall Boy going to be pissed at you?” Charlie asked, noticing the fact Jughead didn’t even budge; the boy shrugged nonchalantly.

“I have the Jones immunity.” he stated. “From now on, Tall Boy might be pissed… But he won’t lay a finger on me. He respects my father that much.”

“That was a really nice show.” Kevin said to Oswald after he walked up to them, fully clothed, but still covered in sweat. “I don’t know shit about boxing, so I watched it the way straight people watch Dancing with the Stars, but still. Nice.”

“Thanks.” Oswald said with a nod. “Not gonna lie, it was nice to finally punch someone again. I should do it more often. Do you think Bats would be up for a sparring session?” he asked, looking at Charlie. “I know I would.”

“Maybe ask Schulz first.” she suggested, playing with the fabric of his shirt.

Someone walked up to them; someone wearing a hoodie with its hood up, covering their face.

“Hey.” the person said; and with relief Charlie realised it’s Louise. “Nice fight.”

“Thanks, Lou.” Oswald said, looking at her very attentively; there was some dirt under her nails, and a small, dark smudge on the fabric of her green hoodie.

Judging from the sudden change in Jughead’s expression, he also realized; but he didn’t say anything and only nodded quietly.

“So, should we go back to the hotel?” Charlie asked; and Vicki shook her head.

“Go on without me.” she said, patting Kevin on his shoulder. “Me and Kev still have plenty to talk about. Lou, you wanna join?”

“Oh, sure.”

“Perfect. Kevin, this is my girlfriend…”

The three of them walked away; Archie offered he and Jughead will walk Charlie and Oswald back to the Five Seasons.

“It’s on the way to my house anyway.” he stated, looking at Charlie with his infinitely trusting eyes. “And Southside does have a bad reputation.”

“Yeah, that and the fact Oswald just wrecked Tall Boy.” Jughead added. “If I were you… I wouldn’t show up anywhere near the Wyrm for at least a month.”

“We’re going back to Gotham in a few days anyway.” Charlie said with a shrug as they were walking. “And it’s not like Serpents can get us there.”

“Oh. Right.” Jughead said after a long, heavy pause. “Right.”

“You just broke poor kid’s heart.” Oswald snickered as they entered the hotel building, leaving Jughead and Archie behind. “That was cold.”

“Well, it was also the truth.” she replied, rolling her eyes. “This is a nice little town, but… I don’t think I’d be able to spend more than a month here without going crazy. Everyone knows everything, no privacy… I watched Twin Peaks a lot back in the day. And look - they already fished a dead, beloved teenager out of a river. Even incest’s off the list! I’m not going to stick around and wait for actual demons to show up.”

“Hell is empty, and Penguin is here.” he said with a smirk and she laughed; the elevator doors closed behind them and he instantly pulled her closer and kissed her. She could still taste the blood on his lips; and she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Claim your prize.” she whispered into his lips and he snickered quietly, lightly biting her bottom lip. “You were great.”

“You were a great motivation.” he whispered back; he slid his hands under her shirt and smiled after discovering she’s not wearing a bra.

“Someone’s probably watching right now, you know. There’s a camera.”

“I’m well aware.” he said with a shrug, lightly brushing her back with his fingertips; she shivered and the elevator dinged, stopping at their floor. She reached into her pocket to find their key - but it wasn’t there.

“Fuck.” she muttered; Oswald cleared his throat, and she looked up - he was holding the key in his hand.

“Oh right, you know how to pickpocket people.” she remembered, reaching for it; but he raised it higher above her head.

“Give it back!”

He winked at her, walking backwards towards the room; she followed him and they only stopped when his back hit the wall.

“Alright, you got me.” he said, dropping the key; she caught it and turned around to open the door and Oswald’s hands found their way back under her shirt. His slender fingers slowly crawled up her torso as she was struggling to fit the key inside the keyhole; finally the lock clicked, just as Oswald’s fingertips found her sensitive nubs.

“Here’s to the victor.” Oswald whispered, closing the door behind them with his foot and swiftly turning Charlie around to face him. “Sing your praises, lovely bird.”

And she did, as his lips found her neck and his fingers explored her skin, as he undressed her and peppered her skin with kisses; she sang her praises in a breathy voice, running her fingers through his hair and arching her back and pulling him closer, closer, closer.

“Sing for me.”

And she did, she did, she did.

***

On Sunday the kids offered to show them the Roving Eye - a local club.

“That’s the last day we can give you, since we have school tomorrow.” Betty stated as they were at the Pop’s.

“I-” Jughead starting to say, but Betty interrupted him instantly.

“All of us, Jug.” she said firmly; and young Jones rolled his eyes, but remained silent. “It’ll be fun.” she added, returning to her chipper tone.

“I heard they’re testing a new DJ, so everyone’s gonna be there to roast him.” Veronica added enthusiastically.

“Clubs are not my forte.” Jughead stated gloomily; but Archie nudged him with his elbow.

“Come on, Jug, don’t be like that. You’re not going to die from having fun for once in your life.”

“How do you know? Have you ever seen me actually having fun?”

Charlie didn’t comment on it, instead turning her attention back to Betty. She was a very sweet girl - which was precisely why Charlie couldn’t bring herself to actually enjoy her company. Her experience taught her that the sweeter the person, the more toxic the venom hidden underneath; everyone had something dark and ugly they’d rather keep hidden - and she had no doubt that this straight-A, peppy girl is no exception. She was a ticking bomb, a disaster waiting for the worst moment possible to happen - and Charlie knew damn well she’d rather not be around when Hurricane Betty hits.

“Hiram should show up in Riverdale tomorrow.” Oswald told her back at the hotel, as she was changing into something more party-like. “So I think I’ll pay him a visit on Tuesday.”

“How do you know?”

“I have lots of friends in lots of places.” he said with a very shark-like grin. “His daughter likes you.”

“She reminds of myself when I was her age.” Charlie said with a shrug. “I was one of the nicer rich girls.”

“Oh, are you seeing your past in her future?”

“Kind of, but on a smaller scale. Which basically boils down to Archiekins will break her heart and a sweet Serpent boy will find his way into her heart.”

“Hmm.” Oswald muttered absentmindedly. “You know what would be a shocking turn of events?”

“If Betty and Veronica got together?”

“Right, I forgot you can apparently read my mind.” he snickered. “But yes. That’s what I meant.”

“Honestly, I’d rather not get emotionally invested in a love life of some high school kids, but… I think this would be best for everyone involved.” Charlie mused. “But this town doesn’t seem like a good place for kids to discover sexuality outside of the heteronormative paradigm.”

“Well, those kids are the future. A wind of change, if you will. And, speaking from experience… People from all across the rainbow tend to flock together, be it consciously or not. So I think we might be onto something.”

“Either this, or we’re grossly misinterpreting those small town kids, with a side of projecting and wishful thinking. God, what are we doing?” she asked suddenly, and Oswald laughed quietly.

“We’re having a very academic discussion about some bored teenagers. Chin up, buttercup, that’s the first step on the long way to becoming an actual supervillain - overcomplicating everything.”

Veronica was right; it really seemed like everyone’s at the Roving Eye, at least regarding the students of Riverdale High. Charlie felt like their little group is a bit out of place; the only adults in an ocean of teenagers.

Even if some of those teenagers clearly didn’t consider themselves to be in the same age group as their peers. Jughead Jones was the most obvious example, limiting himself to dramatic sulking in their corner; but he wasn’t the only one.

“Oh, Betty.” Charlie suddenly heard a very sweet voice. “You can’t avoid me forever, you silly. Did you forget? We’re family!”

“Damn.” Jughead muttered, suddenly looking like he’d pay to be anywhere but here. “Aaand she’s here.”

“Who is she?” Charlie asked quietly, looking in the direction of whoever was chatting a - visibly uncomfortable - Betty up; a lithe girl, dressed up in clothes that looked like someone robbed Charlie’s closet.

“Cheryl Blossom.” Jughead muttered in response, too quietly for the girl to hear; but she turned around to face them as if she did hear it. Her face looked very sweet and friendly; but there was a clever, calculating spark in her eyes, something menacing in the ways the corners of her full, red lips curled in a patronizing smile.

“Hello, Sweetwater Dracula.” she said to Jughead, barely glancing at him. “Found yourself your own miss Grundy?” she asked, staring at Charlie; and Charlie didn’t look away, partially because she was finally seeing the legendary Cheryl Blossom with her own two eyes - and partially because Cheryl was just a small town spoiled teenage girl. Not exactly a threat to someone who once found herself facing Batman in a tiny broom closet.

“I’m Charlie.” she said calmly, as Cheryl was looking her up and down, judging her outfit and makeup. “And you are..?”

“Here to be the center of attention.” Cheryl said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Someone has to.”

Jughead started to get up, but Cheryl stopped him with a wave of her hand.

“Stay.” she said, not taking her eyes off Charlie. “So, Charlie. What brings you to Riverdale?”

“A much needed break from Gotham.” she said; with relief she noticed the others behind Cheryl’s back, walking back to their sofa with their drinks.

“There you go, love.” Oswald said, setting a strawberry daiquiri in front of her. “The bartender has nothing on Jacques, but… It should be digestible.”

“Hello, Cheryl.” Veronica said cautiously, sitting down with her own piňa colada. “Are the Pussycats here as well?”

Behind her back, Charlie noticed Louise, quietly mouthing what Veronica just said, looking resigned and perplexed.

“Josie’s having a family event.” Cheryl stated, briefly glancing at Oswald, who sat down between Charlie and Archie, talking to the latter about something. “But I’m seeing plenty of hot stuff.”

Oswald seemed to not notice anything; and the night went on. It was a decent place; it had nothing on the Waterfront - but it was alright, all things considered.

Much to her own amusement, Charlie realized Cheryl’s attention seems to be focused solely on Oswald - who seemed to be very devoted to ignoring her at all costs. It was an entertaining spectacle to watch; Cheryl Blossom trying to corner Oswald, and him desperately trying to get away.

“Wow.” Jughead said, standing next to Charlie with his hands in his pockets. “So that’s what rabbits look like when they’re trying to get away from boas. Never thought I’d see it live.”

She looked at him, and he smiled; but before any of them said anything, Oswald got to them.

“There you are!” he said, sounding desperate. “Pardon, Jones, I’m going to steal my lady for a moment.”

“Found a hiding spot?” she asked jokingly as he dragged her along; he glanced at her over his shoulder.

“Yes.” he stated. “And it’s your orbit.”

“Aww, aren’t you going to throw her a bone?” she asked mockingly as he pulled her onto the dance floor. “Oswald, I can’t dance.”

“No one here can.” he said, looking around. “This girl is terrifying.”

“How so?”

“I’m absolutely terrified of any teenage girl who thinks it’s a good idea to hit on someone a decade older than her. Those girls know no fear - and I do, after dealing with the Scarecrow.” he said, pulling her closer. “So dance with me.”

“Alright, I can protect you from this terrifying teenage girl.” she said jokingly, swaying her hips.

It was a weird night, and they were both followed by two pairs of eyes; but it didn’t matter. Those kids didn’t matter; they were just kids, after all.

(The night was cut short when someone spilled their drink on Charlie’s dress; and she could swear she saw Cheryl Blossom slipping a bill into someone’s hand as they were leaving.)

***

Some time later Oswald dragged her to his confrontation with Hiram Lodge.

“He’s hosting an open house, whatever that means.” he said, putting on his suit. “So naturally… I’m going to corner him there and use social norms as a trap. He’s not going to make a scene, and I’m going to be very, very polite.”

“And what’s my part in this?”

“His daughter likes you.” he said with a dark smile. “Let’s make him realize I’m a looming presence in his life, hm?”

She nodded silently - and ended up going with him. He wore his Penguin suit, but skipped the mask; there was no point for it anyway, now that his identity was public.

“Hiram!” Oswald called out, slowly walking up to the businessman, who was talking to his wife. “Long time no see.”

“Who’s that?” his wife asked, looking at Charlie and Oswald; she was very beautiful. It was obvious Veronica got it from her; especially the cheekbones. “Old friends?”

Hiram Lodge turned around - and he didn’t look happy.

“Oswald.” he said quietly, shaking grinning Oswald’s hand. “What brings you here, hermano?”

“Oh, you know.” Oswald said carelessly, looking around and barely glancing at Hiram. “Business.”

Before Hiram or Hermione said anything - Veronica showed up, smiling to Charlie.

“I didn’t know you’re coming!” she exclaimed, looking at her father. “Dad, do you remember mister Crispin? This is-”

“Charlie.” she interrupted her, shooting Hiram a warm smile. “Crispin’s daughter… As well as Oswald’s voice of reason.” she added, glancing at Oswald who smiled and cocked his head. “Your daughter is very charming, mister Lodge.” she added, nodding to Veronica. “Such a graceful, polite young woman… I see bright future in front of her.”

“Yes, she’s a delight.” Oswald asked, not taking his eyes off Hiram. “Very hospitable. I wonder… Did she get it from you, old friend?”

Hiram shot him a tight-lipped smile and they walked away, talking in hushed voices; Hiram looked like he’s trying to contain his anger. Oswald, on the other hand, looked like he’s in his element; he had the upper hand. He looked relaxed; and Charlie followed him wistfully with her eyes.

“I didn’t know Oswald knows my dad.” Veronica said, standing next to her. “Are they really old friends?”

“You could say that.” Charlie said, wondering what exactly did Oswald do for Hiram. “Oz has many friends in many places. He’s a… Very likeable individual.”

“That’s an odd way of talking about your boyfriend.”

“He’s an insufferable prick who lives for the drama and making people as uncomfortable as humanly possible.” she said lightly and Veronica giggled. “He’s the worst. I love him.”

Oswald returned, looking like a very satisfied cat.

“Can I steal you for a minute?” he asked, wrapping his arm around Charlie’s waist; she nodded and left with him, followed by Veronica’s curious gaze.

“Guess who just got his money from Hiram Lodge.” Oswald whispered to her. “I watched him made the transfer.”

“Well, that was quick.”

“Right?” Oswald asked with a grin. “You were the winning argument. He paid me just to be sure I won’t ask you to destroy his daughter.”

“You do know I wouldn’t do it, right?”

“Of course!” he said with a shrug. “But he doesn’t know you’re actually a softie. He thinks you’re as bad as I am, if not worse.”

“That’s good to know.” she muttered as they passed Cheryl Blossom, who glanced at Oswald wistfully; he pretended to not notice her, instead pulling Charlie closer.

“Still scared of her?”

“Yes.” he said quietly. “She reminds me of Sofia Falcone. And back in the day… Everyone was afraid of Sofia. And not just because of her father, oh no. She was plenty scary on her own.”

“Well.” she said, glancing at Cheryl over her shoulder; she was talking to a boy, who looked so much like Harry Spencer her heart nearly skipped a bit; but she quickly remembered Harry is dead, she killed him and this random boy couldn’t possibly be anything like her dearest husband. “I’d say you’re safe now. I think she found a new prey.”

“Oh thank god. And, speaking of teenagers with crushes…”

“Jughead’s a weirdo.” she said, shaking her head. “It feels like no matter what I do, no matter what I say - he’s going to interpret it his own way. I don’t think I want to fill in the role of a manic pixie dream girl of his life.”

“Not even if he’s a budding literature Nobel Prize winner?”

“He’s not though. He’s too pretentious. He focuses on form, instead of substance… Case in point: me.” she said with a shrug. “He sees a pretty girl, he stares at her - but he didn’t as much as make an attempt to actually get to know me. I bet he knows he wouldn’t like anything under the surface, so… He doesn’t even try.”

“That’s cold.”

“And also true. Teenage boys are very easy to crack.”

“And what about girls?”

“The key to cracking teenage girls is to treat them like humans.” she said with a shrug. “And not as a hivemind. And bam - done.”

“I’ll keep that in mind if I decide to start a league of underage criminals.” he said jokingly, placing a kiss on her temple. “Come on, love. Let’s peruse the champagne table.”

As it turned out - Oswald was right when he stated Hiram Lodge might consider her to be worse than the Penguin; few days later - two nights before their planned return to Gotham - a hotel boy delivered a message someone left for her at a front desk; it was handwritten with a fountain pen on a good quality card, as she noted absentmindedly, tipping the young man.

“Look at this.” she said, handing the note to Oswald.

“That’s Hiram’s handwriting.” he said after briefly glancing at the card. “I’d recognize it anywhere. What does he want?”

“He wants me to meet him at the Wyrm tonight at midnight.” she said, furrowing her brows. “Do you think it’s a trap?”

“Hard to tell.” Oswald muttered, rubbing his jaw and thinking intensively. “It might be a trap - but it also might be a business proposal… I don’t think it’s a trap.” he eventually decided. “He lost the majority of his empire, which is how he ended up in jail in the first place. Now he’s just a small town businessman with no real connections outside the Riverdale.”

“Maybe he wants to use me as a bargaining chip.” she suggested; but Oswald shook his head.

“He wouldn’t dare.” he said firmly. “Because he knows I’d come for you, and I’d bring my friends with me - and Charlie, darling, be both know Riverdale wouldn’t be able to withstand this storm. It’d burn to the ground.”

“You’re pretentious.” she muttered, ripping the note into shreds. “Alright, I’m in. I’ll show up. Listen to what he has to say.”

“Give Tall Boy my regards.”

“...I thought you love me.”

***

The Wyrm was crowded, when she showed up shortly before midnight - though the majority of patrons were young Snakes. Not a lot of familiar faces; though she did spot Jughead discussing something with Tall Boy and another young man she didn’t know. Young Jones walked up to her as soon as she sat down; Tall Boy limited himself to glaring at her from across the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Because I can, Jughead.” she said, not looking at him; she decided it might be best to not drag FP’s son into whatever war was the father of his friend trying to fight with the Penguin of Gotham. “It’s a free country, and whatever beef Tall Boy has with Oswald after the fight… It’s not my problem.”

“Is that how things work in Gotham?” he suddenly asked. “You show up, wrap everyone around your finger and then leave and pretend nothing happened?”

“Pretty much, yes.” she said, glancing at the silent bartender. “Sorry to disappoint you, kid, but I was sure you already know… Nice girls don’t visit places like the Whyte Wyrm.” she said, finally looking at him. “And neither do nice boys, which begs the question… What are you doing here?”

“I’m a Serpent.” he said, sounding defensive. “By birth. This is my place.”

“Don’t sound so territorial, kid. Neither me nor Oswald are here to take over the Serpents. Very soon… The town of Riverdale will be but a memory.”

The bartender glanced at her and nodded in the direction of the door behind him; she got up and walked up to them, not even looking at Jughead on her way there. This situation felt weird; it felt almost as if she’s dropping her anchor in Riverdale - and it felt wrong. Riverdale wasn’t a place for her.

Hiram Lodge was waiting in a tiny, dimly lit room.

“I’m here.” she said, closing the door behind her. “What do you want?”

“Mister Cobblepot painted you as a somewhat vicious woman.” he said, not looking at her. “Very driven, very sharp, very… Efficient.”

“I sure hope so.” she said, crossing her arms. “But what’s your point?”

“I’ll cut straight to the chase.” he said, finally looking at her. “I need someone to… Take care of a certain thing for me. Someone sharp. Someone efficient.”

“I’m not an assassin for hire.” she said, wondering what the hell did Oswald tell this man; but Hiram shook his head.

“It’s not about an assassination. Please, sit down.”

So she sat down, and listened to what Hiram Lodge had to say; and deep inside she decided she’s going to either kill Oswald, or at least chop his tongue off, just to make sure he’ll never again describe her as competent to someone who might potentially want to hire her to teach someone a lesson.

“And what if I decline?” she asked, leaning back in her chair, looking at Hiram attentively.

“I’ll find someone else.” he said calmly. “This… Delightful little establishment… Is filled with people who won’t say no. But… There’s no telling if they’ll hit the right car.” he added with a dangerous spark in his eye. “You might not make it back to Gotham if you refuse my offer.”

She laughed, not taking his threats seriously.

“Oh, you’re a delight, mister Lodge.” she eventually said. “Threatening someone who has both Batman and the Black Mask on their side? Absolutely adorable.”

He opened his mouth to say something; but she shushed him.

“I’ll do it.” she said with a shrug. “But not for you, or my safety, not even for money. I’ll do it… For the girls of Riverdale.” she stated in a more serious tone. “Especially for your daughter. She’s a brilliant girl, mister Lodge. It might be wise to not underestimate her.”

“I’m glad we’ve reached an agreement.” he said with a polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes, completely ignoring the last thing she said. “Tomorrow morning, there will be a car parked near your hotel. Use it. And then, after it’s all done… Burn it.”

He handed her car keys, and she shook his hand, looking him in the eye; that was a weird turn of events - but she could live with its consequences.

***

The next morning, she snuck out of the hotel room and out of the building - and much to her surprise, Vicki Vale was waiting for her outside.

“I know what are you going to do.” she said to Charlie as soon as she saw her. “I followed you to the Wyrm last night. Sorry.”

“Of course you did.” Charlie said with a sigh. “Are you going to stop me?”

“No, I was wondering if I can tag along.” Vicki said with a shrug. “Does Oswald know?”

“No.” Charlie said shortly, finding the right car.

“I know you two argued last night.” Vicki said quietly as they were driving; and Charlie sighed.

After her weird meeting with Hiram Lodge ended, she walked back to the hotel, where Oswald was waiting for her; and despite accepting Lodge’s order - she wasn’t happy about having to hear it in the first place. She didn’t mind being tangled up in Oswald’s more and less shady dealings - but she didn’t want to actually be remembered by anyone in Riverdale. Coming back here felt more and more like a mistake; this town was simply too small for her, too calm. She didn’t want to leave a lasting impression; and yet that’s what was happening everywhere she turned. She was fine with breaking a teenager’s heart, and with ruining a decent relationship she had with the Serpents - they were just a small town biker gang, after all - but Oswald painted her as a menace.

That was one of their very few actual arguments; he spent the night on a couch, because she didn’t want to look at him. She was sure he’ll be awake once she comes back from her weird errand - and the cool morning air helped her clear her head a bit. She was angry - but she was also ready to make up.

But first - she had a car crash to arrange, since a certain boy needed to be taught a lesson.

“This is going to be one hell of a bonding experience.” Charlie muttered, glancing at Vicki. “How’s Kevin?”

“He’s a sweet kid.” she replied. “We exchanged mail addresses. I hope he gets out of this hole as soon as possible.”

“Yeah.” she sighed. “He seems and sounds like a nice, smart kid. Do you think he’ll be alright?”

“I hope so.” Vicki said quietly. “If not… I gave him Lou’s card. She will raise hell.”

“Good. Also, there’s our target.” she added. “Buckle up, Vale.”

***

“Oh Christ.” Vicki choked out, looking at the smoking, overturned car in front of them. “Jesus!”

“I know!” Charlie replied, feeling first stings of panic; in the distance, she could hear police sirens. “Shit!”

“The river’s nearby.” Vicki said, glancing at a map. “There’s no time to burn this one, but we might be able to sink it. And then…”

“And then we’re going to run.” Charlie finished, already driving towards the river. “Vicki. Did I just kill a family of three?”

“The kid’s a rapist and his parents are actively protecting him from the consequences of his actions.” Vicki said, turning her head to look at Charlie. “Even if they did die… I wouldn’t say it’s a loss.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right.”

After the car was sinking in the river, they quietly made their way back to the hotel; no one pursued them.

“That was fun.” Vicki stated in a chipper tone. “We should do it more often.”

“Is that what you and Oswald were doing in your spare time?”

“Among other thing, yeah.”

“That… Actually explains a lot.”

“Right? And now I know you’re also on board when it comes to teaching people a lesson. You’re cool, Charlie. I wish you were around back during the revolution.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s smart. I like you.”

***

Finally it was time for them to leave Riverdale behind - this time for good, or at least Charlie hoped so - and go back home. Sure, Gotham reeked of death and danger - but at least it made sense. In Riverdale - nothing made sense, not even people’s faces.

Much to Charlie’s dismay and Oswald’s sadistic, gleeful joy - Jughead showed up to bid them farewell. She hoped that after their last weird conversation at the Wyrm he’ll let it go - but it looked like the kid is very fond of prolonging his own suffering.

“I wrote you something.” he said, handing her a sealed envelope; and Oswald took it from him before she had a chance to say anything.

“And we’ll frame it and hang it in our living room. I know art when I see it!”

“Open it at home.” Jughead said, ignoring Oswald and staring at Charlie; he looked oddly determined. “Please.”

“Alright, this is enough.” she muttered, fishing the knife she won from Tall Boy out of her pocket.

She cut off a lock of her red hair and unceremoniously put it into his hand, looking him in the eye.

“Here’s your bloody memento of a beautiful stranger who shook Riverdale to its core, or whatever other cliche you’re going to use.” she informed him as he stared at her in disbelief, holding her hair between his fingers. “I fucked your dad, by the way. Next time you see him tell him I said hi. And please - try to develop a crush on someone your age. Archie seems like a nice kid. Try with him. Take care, Jughead.” she added, patting him on the shoulder. “Tell Tall Boy someone might shank him for the stuff he says about teenage girls.”

And just like that, she was gone - she left Riverdale behind, along with FP Jones, Tall Boy, Jughead, Hiram Lodge and everything else this stagnant, backwater hole had to offer. No one commented on her last speech to Jughead; good. She didn’t want to talk about it. Being cruel didn’t feel good - but it also didn’t feel bad.

To be honest - it didn’t make her feel anything at all.

Back home - after they picked Pingu up from FIsh, who was taking care of him during their absence and the dog calmed down a bit - when it was just them and their bed and their breaths, Oswald turned his head to look her in the eye.

“You should probably open that envelope from Jughead, you know.”

“Who’s Jughead?” she muttered, already half asleep; he laughed and planted a light kiss on her forehead.

In a few hours, Riverdale stopped even being a memory.