Chapter Text
After Bakugou and Izuku had worked strenuously to rekindle their broken friendship, and after having a few months of getting used to being able to say they were childhood friends without a bitter taste in their tongues, it was almost like there was no damage before then.
Bakugou had changed his attitude towards Izuku since they began to fix their relationship. But it wasn't anything drastic, like suddenly turning over a stone to the most polished gem in the world. Bakugou was still Bakugou, just a little softer around the edges to Izuku. Harmless teasing on both ends of the party was basically routine for the two.
They did argue from time to time, but nothing would ever reach a physical level like it did when they first entered UA. But once, and only once since their rebuilding, did such a thing happened
-
Izuku had once again recklessly thrown himself into a dangerous battle, thinking he could handle it all, taking the blow, leaving himself, not gravely injured, but injured nonetheless. Bakugou tried telling him that he needs to think about himself for once. But the shorter boy just wouldn't get it, saying that if he's going to be a hero, he can't be hesitating on the scene.
“Hesitating on the scene. Hesitating on the scene?” Bakugou spat. “You've got us on your side, you idiot! You've got time to fucking think.”
“But I can't waste tone when I need to be protecting you guys and potential citizens on scene, Kacchan!” Izuku stood his ground, clearly not understanding.
“Can't you fucking listen for once, Deku?” Bakugou stepped closer, drying his hands on his pants, not wanting his quirk to act up. And the flood of words came out of Bakugou, emotions taking over,
“The reason you have us is so you have time to think, you fucking airhead. Use that to your advantage, or else one day you don't be able to anymore! God fuck it all! Why won't you let us protect you for once, Deku?”
Izuku stepped closer as well, tilting his chin up, bracing himself, “I can handle myself, Kacchan. I don't need to be babied all the time.”
And god, how Bakugou’s brain told him to hold back, hold back. They talked about this. They worked on this, he can't just throw this away. He didn't know how much he needed this friendship until he finally had it in the palms of his beautifully destructive hands again. Until Izuku gave him genuine smiles. Until they laughed together again. Until there were no more instinctive flinches. Until their classmates didn't tiptoe around the two when they were together. Until he finally felt happy. Until, until, until,
Bakugou's palm questionably began to sting.
He looked down at his now irritated palm, and the world around the two was deadly silent. His heart was banging on his chest like a monkey rattling on it's cage. He didn't want to look up because he knew, god dammit, he knew what he was going to see.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, and forced his ruby eyes to gaze at the smaller boy.
Izuku’s face was facing his left now, hair covering his eyes, but his red blotchy cheek on display for the world to see. His shoulders hunched up, trembling oh so slightly, but that alone was enough for Bakugou to have to urge to kick himself in the face. The lump forced it's way back up his throat like vomit.
Bakugou hesitantly spoke up, voice trembling, “D-deku,”
He placed his hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder and the flinch he got in reply broke him. Tears began to well up in his guilt ridden eyes. He fucked up, and he knew it. The guilt buried itself deep into Bakugou’s veins, infecting him like a parasite.
“Deku, come on.” He pleaded. “Say something, please.”
The desperation in Bakugou's tone made it all the more difficult for Izuku to even try and let his voice through. This isn't want any of them wanted.
“Leave me alone.”
Bakugou’s grip on Izuku’s shoulders slackened, his hands now limp at his sides, and posture stiffened even greater.
“H-hold on, Deku, I-”
Bakugou cut himself off as a pair of jade eyes, layered with a glistening sheen of unshed tears shifted and glanced up, meeting his own ruby pair. And as Izuku blinked, the tear spilled over, his eyes no longer capable of holding back.
Izuku bit his lip and averted his gaze, a whimper ever so slightly escaping through his mouth, and Bakugou’s heart sank.
“Leave, please. Just leave.” Izuku tried keeping his composure, but failed as his last word came out as a sob.
And Bakugou wanted to do nothing but hug Izuku or tell him he was sorry, but it wasn't enough right now. He couldn't reach out to him, not right now. The moment was too shattered to even fathom doing so.
Izuku saw Bakugou was not willing to budge, so he inhaled with a shudder, and spoke with a strained yet hushed tone, “I'm gonna go,”
Izuku's arm brushed against Bakugou’s as he left, the last of Izuku's warmth that he would feel for the night. And the cold that replaced Izuku's warm body sent chills down the blonde’s spine, reminding him of what he'd done. He stood there for a few seconds, blank faced, and then turned around to see Izuku nowhere in sight.
The banging on his chest got louder and louder and harder and harder. The sob that carried Izuku's name damn near suffocated Bakugou. After months and months of hard work, misunderstandings, apologies, and tears, he fucked up.
He fucked up and he knew it all too damn well.
-
After their fight, Izuku avoided Bakugou like the black plague, and the students, obviously, noticed that the suffocating tension from the beginning of the year was back.
The “good morning’s” from the two boys after the fight were silent brushes past one another, not daring to look into each other's direction. Izuku was less talkative, meanwhile Bakugou was more irritable and guilt ridden. The silence between the two was deadly, and it didn't take long for Bakugou to have had enough.
-
During lunch, he tried to not so angrily stomp over to where Izuku was sat at. He promptly told Todoroki he was going to borrow Izuku, and left with that, ignoring the calls he got from the others. He dragged an argumentative Izuku outside, by the bench that was said to be where Shinsou would feed cats.
And if Bakugou was being honest, he felt like crying. It was complete dejavu- apologizing to Izuku for his actions once more- It was like they were trying to rebuild their friendship all over again, and it broke him. The guilt just bubbling up in his chest, nearly spilling over the edge of his heart, his liquefied feelings trailing down, down, down.
Still holding onto Izuku’s wrist, Bakugou hesitantly spoke up.
“Deku, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry I hit you, I really am. I don't want us to go back to how we were when we first came to UA. We worked too damn hard for this shit.” Bakugou exhaled.
“But you need to fucking understand that your life isn't some video game where you can replay over again once you die. Heros aren't invincible, Deku.”
Silence.
Bakugou looked down at Izuku and was met with his friend, not so surprisingly crying.
“I-I know that, Kacchan,” Izuku tried rubbing away his tears. “But how can I be a hero if i can't protect anyone?”
“You're going to be a hero, idiot. That's why we're here: to get better, to learn.” Bakugou sighed. “You're rushing the fuckin' process though. We're fifteen and sixteen year olds, for fucks sake.”
Bakugou placed his hand on Izuku’s head, lightly messing up his hair even more, causing the said boy to look up.
“Let me protect you for once, you absolute dork.”
Izuku frantically blinked, in hopes of pushing his tears back, and his adam's apple bobbed. His body very obviously wanting to cry.
Izuku nodded his head and wrapped his arms around Bakugou’s waist, hugging him, “Mhm.”
The taller boy huffed, evidently draping his arm over Izuku’s shoulder, placing his chin on the top of the crying boy’s soft curls.
He fondly rolled his eyes and told Izuku, “Alright, alright, crybaby. I'm here, so don't do anything stupid.”
-
Like stated before, they did argue. Nothing too drastic, it was mainly just the two of them worried over the others well being, and that they push themselves too far, emotionally and physically during training or battles.
That or they'd have petty fights: Izuku getting a higher score on a test than Bakugou, deciding which movie is better than the other, which food is better. Just routine banter between them.
Their friendship wasn't perfect, but it was damn well close. Especially with how much effort they put into it. How much they look out for each other, and how well they fit together. That was enough.
They were close like real childhood friends were.
Endless teasing, a few inside jokes, sharing the same movie from when they were younger, knowing a bit more about each other than other classmates did, and being familiar with each others family.
In subject of family, when the boys first began to repair their friendship, both Bakugou and Izuku decided it was best to let their parents know of their past relationship, since Bakugou didn't want to be lying to Inko or his parents about the whole thing.
Of course, they were disappointed in Bakugou's inexcusable behavior, and Mitsuki and Masaru apologized to both Inko and Izuku. Although the two were disappointed, they trusted the two and their new friendship, and looked forward to more memories with Izuku.
Inko’s trust was the hardest to gain back for Bakugou, which he understood. He apologized to Inko with an overflowing amount of guilt and genuine feelings, after asking to talk to her alone. She was reluctant, and said she'd decide for herself if Izuku was allowed to be so close to Bakugou again.
But after months of her seeing the two genuinely happy around each other, no true malicious intent from Bakugou, she seemed to be less tense when the two were together. Her heart swells at the sight of their joy, reminding her of how they played together as little kids.
-
Touch was something distant yet familiar to the two. Izuku would always be a touchy child: holding hands, the edge of a shirt, or bumping each other's knees together. When they were younger, Izuku would always absentmindedly hold or inspect Bakugou's hands in fascination of how he could hold so much power. So when Izuku did exactly that after they renew their title of friendship without thinking, he pulled away so quick, startling both himself and Bakugou in the process.
Bakugou, of course, didn't mind. It never left his mind how Izuku was impulsive, yet somewhat touch starved. He’d notice that Izuku would calm at any touch from his group of friends that consisted of Iida, Todoroki, Asui, and Uraraka. He also noticed how Izuku and Todoroki were the most touchy of the group, yet they were both shy about it.
Izuku's group of friends were all familiar with one another, and weren't afraid to show any affection. Hugs were very common amongst them, as well as subtle touches on biceps, hands placed on the others, warm smiles, just about anything that helped ground the one who needed it the most.
It made Bakugou laugh out of fondness of how little Izuku had changed.
He would always apologize profusely whenever he made any type of physical contact with Bakugou. But soon after, the blonde would tell Izuku that he doesn't care, and that he knows Izuku has always been like that, which made the freckled boy blush out of embarrassment.
And Bakugou would be lying if he said it wasn't nice. Izuku was a soft person, figuratively and literally. Despite the scars that littered his hands, he held everything with such delicacy, no matter how easily or difficult it was to break. Sometimes Izuku would lightly pinch the pads of Bakugou’s fingers when they sat next to each other.
And after a while of getting used to the small touches, Bakugou realized just how soft Izuku’s unruly hair was. During a movie night with just the two of them in Bakugou’s room, Izuku fell asleep, head rested on Bakugou's lap. The blonde noticed a curl was slightly out of place, and went to fix it, but ended up touching more than the strand. His hand flinched slightly at the soft touch of the green curls, but soon relaxed, and he began to run his fingers through Izuku’s feathery hair.
They had several calm moments like this. Domestic almost. But Bakugou wasn't complaining. He finally fixed his broken friendship with Izuku, after nearly ten years of such a strained companionship. He wouldn't trade it for anything. Sitting on his bed, his room lit a soft blue from the tv screen still playing the movie, the low volume just barely drowning out the soft snored escaping Izuku, who rests peacefully on Bakugou's lap. A light flutter in his chest.
Yeah, he thought. I'm fine with this.
He shut his eyes for a moment, and exhaled softly.
Only for his eyes to shoot open a split second later, nearly choking on how quickly he inhaled.
'Fuck' His brain supplied. 'I like Deku.’
“Yeah,” Bakugou groaned silently and looked down at the sleeping boy. “Im fucked.”