Work Text:
From Twitter:
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
There is a hot bearded guy directly across from me at the airport terminal. He’s eating a pack of Rolos and I want him to be my husband.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Hot bearded guy just took out a pillow and now he’s laying on the floor. Is it inappropriate to ask him if I can be the little spoon?
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Okay, hot bearded guy’s Rolos are gone, but my love for him is not.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
HE’S STANDING NEXT TO ME IN LINE!
`````Scott McCall @ScottyMc
`````@bilinskiS you should say hi.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
HE’S SCRATCHING HIS BEARD AND HIS BLUE EYES JUST PIERCED MY SOUL.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
There’s a one in a million chance our seats are next to each other @united needs to fix this. He could be my future husband.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I’m hoping hot bearded guy has a layover in Denver too. Those 2 hours are the perfect amount of time for a first date.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I’m entering the aircraft. I’ll know in a minute if I’m sitting next to hot bearded guy. The anticipation is killing me.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Ugh! Hot bearded guy is exactly 8 rows behind me. Good thing love knows no distance.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
What are the chances this plane goes all LOST on us and I end up stranded on an island with hot bearded guy?
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
WE COULD REENACT @katyperry’s ROAR VIDEO!
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
This plane is almost full and the two seats next to me are empty. I’m gonna invite hot bearded guy up. When we kiss will it taste like Rolos?
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Update: the people next to me showed up and asked if I’d trade seats to 30D. I obviously said yes because it’s closer to hot bearded guy.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
And because I’m a nice person.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Okay. Plane is taking off in a minute. I’ll update you when we land/mostly likely announce our engagement.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Last question. How many times is “too many” for me to use the restroom on this flight so I can walked by hot bearded guy?
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I think two would appear normal. Three seems desperate.
`````Scott McCall @ScottyMc
````@bilinskiS I’m pretty sure if you do more, he’s going to think something is wrong with you down there.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Flight attendend saw me tweeting and asked me to put my phone on airplane mode. She obviously hates true love.
`````Lydia Martin @Lydsperf
`````@ bilinskiS or she just doesn’t want the radio transmissions between the pilot and the tower to be disrupted. Though I have no idea why she wouldn't want you to die in a fiery crash.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Okay two bathroom breaks. Unless he is sleeping, then I’m going back there 8 times. I knew this aisle seat was a good idea.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Dirty look from the flight attendant. Abort! See you in two hours. I’ll tweet links to mine and hot bearded guy’s wedding registry.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I’m only listening to Teenage Dream during this entire flight because that’s how hot bearded guy makes me feel.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Back! Hot bearded guy slept for the entire flight with his hat pulled down over his eyes. It was the most adorable thing ever.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I slept too and had a dream that hot bearded guy and I got married and had a wedding cake made out of Rolos.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Apparently I forgot to text my dad and tell him the plane was taking off. Guess I was too distracted by hot bearded guy.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
When hot bearded guy and I have kids they will be better behaved than all of the kids on this flight.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Can I call hot bearded guy “HBG” for short? Of course I can, he’s my future husband.
`````Lydia Martin @Lydsperf
````@bilinskiS You should probably say hi at this point, let him know you are not brain damaged for staring at him this long.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
HBG just smiled at me and now I’m dead.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Hot bearded guy has a tattoo on his back and just got even hotter.
``````Scott McCall @ScottyMc
``````@bilinskiS Dude, how did you see a tattoo on his back? Please don’t get arrested for anything.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
He’s reading the connecting flight board. Denver is not his final destination!
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
He’s staying at this end of the terminal. He’s either on my next flight or just doing it to torment my loins.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Guys, I lost hot bearded guy in the food court, I don’t see him anywhere!
`````Scott McCall @ScottyMc
`````Jesus Stiles, I love you man, but you can’t stalk the guy.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I’ve got three hours to find hot bearded guy before my flight leaves to California. I have faith that fate will bring us back together.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Hey @united! I’m gonna need the name, phone number, and the shirtless pics of the hot bearded guy who was in seat 35E on flight 4615. Thanks!
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Some guy without a beard just smiled at me. He must be new here.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I’m looking at the picture I took of hot bearded guy laying on the floor at the airport and I just shed a single tear.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I think I’m in the bargaining stage of this addiction because I just started making promises to baby Jesus so he’d put HBG on my next flight.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
You know what? You all are right. If hot bearded guy comes back I’m gonna say hello. As @jordinsparks once said, “This is my now.”
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
This is my 40th tweet about hot bearded guy. If this isn’t true love I don’t know what is.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
My “sister”-in-law, is now texting me about hot bearded guy. She wants me to find him so she can be in our wedding.
``````Scott McCall @ScottyMc
``````Please don’t get Allison involved in this.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I came up with a plan. Once my phone is fully charged I’m going on a hunt for hot bearded guy. Pics or bust.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Hot bearded guy is one half of America’s sweethearts and he doesn’t even know. (I’m obviously the other half).
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
So, like, if you were a hot bearded guy at the Denver airport where would you be hiding?
`````Isaac Lahey @Iscacick
`````@bilinskiS what do you even know about this guy?
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
All I know is that he likes Rolos and Laying on the floor. That’s better than nothing.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
No sign of hot bearded guy anywhere. I checked all of his favorite places including the floor and the candy store.
`````Isaac Lahey @Iscacick
`````@bilinskiS Will you buy me one of those toblerone things, I’ve never had one but I see them everywhere in airports.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
The plot thickens! There’s been a gate change. Maybe hot bearded guy knew all along and has been waiting for me at the new gate.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
There are exactly zero hot bearded guys at this new gate.
``````Isaac Lahey @Iscacick
``````@bilinskiS Sorry about your hot bearded troubles but will you buy an extra one of those toblerone things, my cousin Derek is coming in and I don’t really want to have to share.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
I have to board my plane in the next ten minutes. Looks like it’s the end of the road for hot bearded guy. Bless his rugged handsomeness.
Stiles Stilinkski @bilinskiS
Just boarded farewell, hot bearded guy, I’ll see you in my dreams.
``````Isaac Lahey @Iscacick
`````@ bilinskiS Please either confirm or deny the existence of candy because I have my hopes up now. Hey in exchange for the toffee I will introduce you to Derek, he has a hot beard.
Text from Stiles Stilinski to Isaac Lahey- None can compare to the glory of hot bearded guy, our love will be eternal and know no limits or constraints such as the fact I don’t know where he went or what his name is. But yes I did buy you candy and I bought another one for your random bearded cousin. I even bought Rolos for sentimental reasons. I will cherish them forever.