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Language:
English
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Published:
2017-12-04
Words:
701
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
26
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1
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695

My Words Don't Reflect My Intention

Summary:

Eddie’s in love, but he’s too wrapped up in his own world to realize who’s heart he’s breaking. (The other side of I’m Not Your Boyfriend)

Work Text:

It’s a bright summer day when Richie finally asks Eddie to be his boyfriend and Eddie couldn’t be happier. The first thing he does is bike all the way out to Mike’s farm to tell his best friend the good news. He spends the afternoon there, telling Mike everything and happily rambling while Mike works on planting flowers in his back garden. Mike’s quieter than he usually is, only replying in short hums, but Eddie takes no mind to it, Mike doesn’t usually talk much when he’s working and Eddie’s more than happy to talk enough for the both of them.

The snow’s started falling when Eddie realizes he misses Mike. He’s started fighting with Richie and all he wants when Richie’s left is to be at Mike’s curled up on the couch and watching a dumb comedy. He sleeps on Mike’s couch more often than his own bed and he’s fighting with Richie more often than they’re happy together. Eddie spends his nights wishing he could go back to the summer, go back to when everything was good and he was happy.

Spring comes and it’s nearly gone before Richie finally confesses something to Eddie. It’s in a rare moment of seriousness when Richie tells Eddie he’s scared. Richie’s always been insecure about his relationships, this is something Eddie has known since they were twelve. What he didn’t know was Richie was scared Eddie would leave him for Mike, something Eddie had never considered. Yet even though Eddie assures Richie that Mike’s nothing more than a friend, he still stops going to Mike’s when he wants to be away from home, but can’t go to Richie.

It’s a dark night mid-summer when Eddie calls Bill instead of running to Mike’s. He’s crying after a fight with Richie over something stupid and he wants nothing more than the comfort of Mike’s home, but he made the decision to stop crying to Mike and he’s not going to change that now. Bill was Eddie’s first best friend before he knew Mike and Bill’s slow speech calms Eddie. He truly does think it’s for the best, he doesn’t want to lose his first love over Mike. He doesn’t see the way he’s hurting Mike by doing this, he only sees how he hurt Richie by running to Mike.

Halfway through his junior year, he’s not fighting with Riche, but instead being yelled at by Bev. Eddie’s sure he’s never seen her this mad, but he knows he deserves everything she’s saying to him. She’s telling him what a bad friend he’s been, how selfish he’s been. She only leaves once he’s gone quiet, stomping away. It’s later that day when Richie breaks his heart. He’s telling Eddie he’s not in love anymore, telling him he’s young and doesn’t want a relationship anymore. Eddie barely says a word, knowing if he opens his mouth he’ll beg Richie not to leave him, but after moments of silence, he quietly asks Richie to take him to Mike’s.

The sun’s set below the horizon when Richie’s old truck has disappeared and Eddie’s finally worked up the courage to knock on Mike’s door. Tears are rolling down his cheeks when Mike opens the door, but rather than pull him inside, Mike slams the door in his face. By the time Bill’s car rolls up, the darkness has surrounded Eddie and he’s sobbing on the porch. Eddie doesn’t say a word, just lets Bill put him in the car and drive them back to Bill’s. Bill stays silent too. It’s not until Eddie’s sat at Bill’s kitchen table, sobs now hiccups and wrapped in a blanket, as Bill’s making him tea when Eddie finally speaks, telling Bill that Richie dumped him and Mike doesn’t want him anymore. Bill turns around and Eddie’s breaking his heart as he tells Eddie: “Well Eddie you cuh-can’t expect M-Mike to just take cuh-care of you ‘cause Rich duh-dumper you, you’re been a-avoiding him forever and y-you had to know you were br-breaking his heart, h-hell he’s been in...in love with you for years now.” Eddie’s hiccups interrupt his stuttered nonsense as he tries to make sense of what Bill’s just told him.