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It was almost bittersweet – the quiet that had overtaken the Waverider. It was so silent that the only source of sound was the ship’s inner workings.
The time ship was scarcely ever in a state of peace and the past few months had been a testament to that. Between the Time Bureau, the return of Damien Darhk and the introduction of Kuasa and Mallus, the ship was in a constant state of chaos.
Being a Legend meant that trips in history was simply a part of the job description but an entire Earth under the rule of Nazi’s in this modern day, or any day, was something that Sara felt would keep her reeling for the foreseeable future.
Not to mention that she and the team had just lost a dearly loved member less than a few days ago. As expected, the pain was still raw and the ache that seized her heart struck again and she briefly closed her eyes to stave off whatever tears she had left.
Sara sat in Martin’s chair, faced inwards towards the command console. She found some semblance of comfort from just being in the seat. She hadn’t been the only one with that idea, as only an hour earlier she had found Jax passed out from exhaustion in the very same spot.
Sara was only in her infancy as Captain of the Waverider but already the past few days had been some of her most harrowing since she stepped into the role.
Sara crossed her right leg over her left knee and warily drug her hands over her face twice.
Only a few minutes had passed before the sound of Gideon graced Sara’s ears.
“I’m sorry to disturb you Captain Lance but the eldest Miss Danvers is attempting to board the ship.”
At the mention of the Danvers sister in question, Sara looked up and took a depth breath. Between everything that had happened, Sara had nearly forgotten about her night with Supergirl’s sister on the eve of Barry and Iris’s wedding.
“Let her aboard and guide her to the study please Gideon.”
With an ‘of course Captain,’ Gideon went offline, and Sara was plunged into silence again and began her journey to the new location. She blinked once slowly when she reached the study and sat down in one of the armchairs along the far wall.
The study was one of the most relaxing rooms for Sara on the Waverider. Unlike the rest of the ship, the room was a warm mixture of reds and browns, full of mahogany furnishings and the ever-present smell of wood and chocolate permeated the air.
Around two minutes passed before the distinct ‘whooshing’ sound of the Waverider’s door pulled Sara away from her thoughts.
Alex hesitantly appeared in the doorway, hands in the pockets on the back of her jeans and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
Her soulful dark eyes made tentative contact with Sara’s sapphires, “Hey.”
Sara nodded, “Hey back.”
Alex breathed out and walked slightly closer, “Hey, yeah. I actually came here to thank you - for saving my sister. After, well, everything, I never got the chance. Kara means the world to me and I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost her…so, thank you, Sara.”
“It was a team effort, Alex,” Sara replied.
Alex shrugged her shoulders, “I know. But you made me a promise directly and you kept it.”
Sara conceded, “Like I said before, I know the pain of losing a sister. I didn’t want you to go through that when I could do something to stop it happening.”
The D.E.O agent motioned to the armchair opposite Sara who nodded once, and Alex perched herself on the edge, feet planted firmly on the ground, shoulder width apart and rubbed her knees nervously.
“Also, I wanted to see how you were doing, after, you know.”
The Captain sank into the back of the chair, rested her hands on either arm and looked towards the HD screen on the opposite side of the room that displayed bright orange flames that flickered softly.
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Sara spoke softly, “I miss him.”
Alex acknowledged that with a tilt of her head, “And that’s okay. I’m not going to even try and pretend I know what you and your team are feeling right now but I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
Sara chuckled wryly as she finally made eye contact with the agent, “I’m sure just a few days ago, I was giving you the supportive speech…but thank you anyway.”
“Yeah, well. Kara always told me that when I’m hurt, I close myself off to avoid dealing with the pain. You seem like the type as well.”
With that sentence, the study became silent again.
It was odd, Sara thought – how easily she had become comfortable in Alex’s presence without the need to keep up a conversation. She supposed it had something to do with the similarities they shared based on her little knowledge of the woman.
It was with that thought that Sara caught herself as she stared at the way the fire’s flames highlighted Alex’s face.
Sara had known the pleasure of the company of a beautiful woman before, especially since she joined the Legends. However, none had even come close to Alex Danvers.
Sure, while knocking back shots of Scotch at the bar in Jitters, she had felt the initial spark of attraction. It wasn’t until they had fought side-by-side that she had seen the charm of her personality and been impressed by the way in which she cared for everyone.
It made Sara wonder what was strong enough for this Maggie woman to let her go.
In a weak attempt to shake herself of the thoughts, Sara rose and walked towards to the large desk in the corner of the room. With her back towards Alex, Sara poured the amber contents of a small decanter into two nearby glasses.
She took both in each hand with the decanter in the other, walked back to Alex and placed the items on the small table between them.
Alex gratefully picked up the nearest glass, slowly sipped the liquid and almost melted deeply into the chair.
Sara retook her place, “How is Kara? Fully recovered hopefully?”
“All charged up. I forced her to spend the past few hours under the sun. Predictably she pouted and insisted she was fine, but I always get my way,” Alex smirked.
Sara laughed, “Spoken like a true big sister.”
Alex smiled softly, “It took me a while to get to that point but I’m glad we finally got there.”
The Captain rose her left eyebrow in question, “You’re saying you weren’t always this close? I’m sorry but I don’t believe that. You guys are the epitome of sisterhood.”
“You’d be surprised. When Kara first landed on Earth and Superman brought her to us, I hated her. Before Kara, I was an only child with the full attention of my parents.”
Alex smoothly finished her drink and set the empty glass on the table. “Suddenly all the focus was on Kara. Kara needs this, and Kara needs that. It was almost like instead of being a sister, I was a babysitter. I had to take care of her while my mom and dad looked for ways to help her adjust.”
“I was selfish and treated her so unfairly, especially when my dad supposedly died, and my mom nosedived into her research.”
Alex shook her head, “It got better as we aged but it still wasn’t great.”
Sara couldn’t tell if her silence was from shock or disbelief.
After a few seconds, she said, “What changed?”
“In high school, Kara had a friend, Kenny. He got involved in something he shouldn’t have and was murdered because of it. Long story short, her and I found out that the town Sheriff had done it and he kidnapped me.”
Sara breathed in sharply and clenched her teeth, “Did he hurt you?”
Alex shook her head quickly and waved her hands dismissively, “No. Nothing like that. I was scared for sure, but I knew that Kara would save me. And she did. We’ve been close ever since. She’s a huge part of why I joined the D.E.O.”
Hearing the love in Alex’s voice made the ache of Laurel’s absence surface again.
“You’re right. I would have never guessed.”
“Were you close with your sister? I’m sorry I didn’t catch her name.”
Sara huffed in both sadness and amusement, “To be completely honest, we had a rough beginning like you. Laurel was the model daughter – kind, smart, an aspiring lawyer in Star City and I was the screw-up.”
“Laurel was dating Oliver through college and I was in love with him,” she admitted.
“What?” Alex’s exclamation echoed around the room.
Sara laughed loudly, “Yeah – small world huh? Anyway, Oliver freaked out when Laurel suggested they move into an apartment together and starting cheating on her with me.”
“Oliver’s dad, Robert, was taking his boat, The Queen’s Gambit to China, Oliver tagged along and invited me behind Laurel’s back. A former League member and Robert’s associate, Malcolm Merlyn rigged the boat with explosives because Robert wouldn’t agree with his plan to level the destitute side of the city.”
“I remember it like it was yesterday. There was a storm and it kept getting closer and closer. Oliver tried to reassure me but then there was a loud crack and the next thing I knew the boat had split in half and the suction from the water pulled me under.”
“To sum it up, it took many years of being presumed dead, reuniting with my family, dying for real and being resurrected before Laurel and I found mutual ground and finally connected.”
“When I was resurrected, I came back without my soul. I was a lost. Oliver and Laurel fought to return my soul but even then, this insatiable bloodlust consumed me. She was the one who convinced me to join Legends, to leave the past behind and become someone new – the White Canary.”
“Wow.”
Sara’s eyes had glazed over as Alex looked worriedly at the Captain.
“She never did quite agree with some of my choices, especially about Nyssa, but she respected them and that’s one of the things I loved about her.”
Alex reached across and poured another drink for them both. Sara knocked the glass back in one and poured herself another.
“Is Nyssa your Maggie? Like you mentioned on Earth X?” Alex asked after three minutes of just listening to each other breathe.
Nostalgia overtook Sara and she recited fondly, “Nyssa Al Ghul, Daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, Heir to the Demon.”
Alex awkwardly imitated a fish: mouth opening and closing with wide eyes, “Sounds impressive. Threatening.”
“Ra's was the head of the League of Assassins and Nyssa was his ‘treasured’ heir. When a plan to escape the island that I was stranded on failed, she found me, took me to the League’s base and nursed me back to health. Over the years, I trained under her tutelage. We fell in love and the rest was history.”
“When you join the League, you erase your identity and the memories of your past life and I had done well with that. But when I heard that eventually, years later, Malcolm Merlyn’s plan had caused an Earthquake back home, I had to know if my family were okay. From there, our relationship only went downhill – I lied to her and betrayed her trust.”
“Wow. That makes my situation with Maggie sound juvenile in comparison.” Alex muttered.
“Don’t say that,” Sara pushed herself to the edge of the chair and stared into the agent’s expressive eyes, “Whatever reason you had was and still is valid, Alex. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Alex found comfort in Sara’s bright eyes, “I want kids, she doesn’t.”
The D.E.O agent looked to her boot covered feet, almost invisible in the dark warmth of the room. “Like I said, I wish I realised that sooner.”
Sara reached across and took Alex’s right hand in hers, “Hey,” she ducked her head to meet Alex, “This might not be what you want to hear but, that sounds like a strong enough reason to let go, no matter how painful.”
Alex agreed, “I know. It doesn’t make it hurt any less though.” She took a deep breath, “Maggie once told me, before we got together, that she didn’t want to date someone fresh off the boat.”
“Hearing that stung but then she appeared at my apartment…and I fell into her and our relationship, with complete disregard for everything else.”
“I will always love her. I would still be in denial about who I am if it wasn’t for her.”
Alex sighed in a way that Sara implied meant she was letting go, “But, you were right. I need to trust my instincts.”
Sara leaned her head slightly to her left and husked out, “And what are they telling you?”
Alex squeezed Sara’s hand gently, “That there’s somebody else out for me.”
Sara slowly moved closer, her lips hovered around Alex’s forehead, “Is that so?”
Alex looked up and smiled shyly but the heat in her eyes reminded Sara of their amazing night, “Yes and that it’s okay to live my life until then without guilt.”
A beat passed, Sara gently stroked Alex’s cheek with her left hand, “To dealing with our problems.”
Alex turned her head and hotly kissed Sara’s palm, “To living life to the fullest.”