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Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Glaives, we have a situation.
Crowe was still awake in the comfort of her bed when she caught Nyx’s message in the Glaive group chat—one that Tredd renamed lil fuckaz for the heck of it earlier—and she followed the trail of messages that popped in her phone screen.
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM I know you guys won’t believe this but
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Check the captain’s calendar
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM and get this: he’s free tomorrow
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM AND HE’S NEVER FREE
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM And then I remembered
Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM WHY OF COURSE
Luche Lazarus 3:03 AM yes nyx we know it’s the captain’s bday tomorrow
Crowe smiled at Nyx’s overeager message thread; knowing Nyx, she immediately assumed her good lad of a friend was somewhere in downtown Insomnia, drinking his stress away. Also, she didn’t expect Luche to be awake at this hour. In any case, something about this conversation confused her. Apart from Nyx’s rowdy chat etiquette—which she was fairly used to—what bugged Crowe was her memory of things: she clearly remembered getting partied out a couple of nights back thanks to Drautos’s birthday party hosted by no less than the Glaive’s personally-dubbed veteran party animal, Clarus Amicitia.
There was a brief minute of pause in the group chat commotion, and then:
Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Nobody asked you Luche stfu
Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Anyway. As I was saying.
Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Yes, it’s the captain’s birthday tomorrow
Luche Lazarus 3:04 AM i’m willing to bet my ass you’re planning an outrageous surprise party
Nyx Ulric 3:04 AM You can bet your pasty ass i will and WE SHALL DO IT
Before Crowe could even chime in, Pelna already butted in the conversation, and started wreaking his own havoc:
Pelna Khara 3:05 AM count me the fuck in
Pelna Khara 3:05 AM i’ll buy the cake
Pelna Khara 3:05 AM clarus didn’t let me buy the book cake last Year :(
Pelna Khara 3:05 AM *boob
Pelna Khara 3:05 AM ***boobs
Pelna Khara 3:06 AM had to correct that so y’all know the cake was shaped as a pair of boobs not just one
Of course, where there was trouble, Crowe already thought that Tredd was close by, raring to add to this steaming pile of shenanigans.
And when Crowe saw his name pop into her screen, she grinned. When it came to her personal assessment of her friends, Crowe was always right.
Tredd Furia 3:06 AM lmao
Tredd Furia 3:06 AM i’ll go buy the booze my fam
Tredd Furia 3:06 AM also is it just me or nyx is using punctuation marks or am i just 2 high
Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Fuck you Tredd
Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM I was trying to drive a point
Pelna Khara 3:07 AM nah tredd just too high i can secondhand smoke your joint even from here
Tredd Furia 3:07 AM fuck u pelna :) :) :)
Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Anyway thanks guys, we’ll do this in briefing room A
Luche Lazarus 3:08 AM i didn’t agree to the alcohol losers but whatever
Nyx Ulric 3:09 AM u scared daddy’s gonna dish out some disciplinary action, leader? ;)
Luche Lazarus 3:09 AM fuck u
Axis Arra 3:10 AM i can’t believe tredd woke me up for this shit
Nyx Ulric 3:10 AM And Crowe, I know you’re awake I can see your tiny bubble just lurking in this convo
Pelna Khara 3:11 AM wow axis just responded to a group chat conversation
Pelna Khara 3:11 AM blessed be the stars
Tredd Furia 3:11 AM this surprise party’s gonna be litttttt af
Nyx Ulric 3:12 AM hi there axis you and sonitus take care of the food
Axis Arra 3:13 AM ok
While the conversation rolled along, Crowe still had this nagging feeling that the entire arrangement was too… odd. Luche easily joining this nonsense was already out of the ordinary, but Axis—quiet and soft-spoken Axis Arra—replying to this mess and just agreed to help organize this shitstorm? Crowe had seen her friends do strange things, but this one weirdly made her queasy. Not to mention, they have been acting rather funny around her these past couple of days. She stared at her phone screen, trying to rake her thoughts on that last party. She was definitely sure that party happened. She could still taste the acrid smoke from that sordid bar, and she could still remember hooking up with that heavily tattooed man whose name was the only thing that she lost in her nebulous memory.
Just when Crowe was about to protest for a clarification, another message arrived from Nyx:
Nyx Ulric 3:15 AM btw where tf is Libertus at
Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM Poor Libertus Ostium, he is missing action
Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM So now I’m facing Nyx Ulric with his own faction
Pelna Khara 3:16 AM he’s very attractive in the north, Lucians like his chances
Tredd Furia 3:16 AM he’s not very forthcoming on any particular chances
Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Gdi you all have been making hamilton references for a MONTH
Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Can we get back to the task at hand please
Crowe sighed in exasperation as she scrolled away to more chunks of messages. Before the chat group could spiral into a new brand of trouble and out of its original topic, she finally managed to type her response:
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM libertus ran an errand with the crown prince’s advisor glasses boy
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM anyway
Nyx Ulric 3:19 AM THERE’S OUR FAVORITE MAGE
Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hi crowe moon of our lives
Tredd Furia 3:19 AM our khaleesi is here
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM you guys are fucking idiots
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM ANYWAY wasn’t the captain’s birthday three days ago???
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM pelna you even posted photos on your instagram acct
Crowe Altius 3:18 AM With the caption “today the Big D was born let us rejoice”
Crowe sat up on her bed and waited for a reply, but she later realized that she just unleashed a treasure trove of disaster with her last statement:
Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hey u gotta love that caption
Tredd Furia 3:19 AM and u gotta love the Big D
Nyx Ulric 3:20 AM i know luche does ;)
Luche Lazarus 3:20 AM haha very funny nyx
Tredd Furia 3:22 AM hahahahahahaha nyx gdi i choked on my fucking beer
Pelna Khara 3:22 AM that was some mighty fine dish that got served
Luche Lazarus 3:22 AM u sure u didn’t choke on some big d tredd :)
Tredd Furia 3:22 AM nope. but hey luche
Tredd Furia 3:22 AM ur ass is grass
Tredd Furia 3:22 AM and imma mow it
Axis Arra 3:23 AM eyyyy
Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM LMAO OK SEXUAL TENSION ASIDE
Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM Relax you guys
Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM I know we all love our big captain drautos so much
Crowe Altius 3:24 CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION YOU BAGS OF HELPLESS DICKS
Pelna Khara 3:24 AM as you wish khaleesi forgive our brethren
Pelna Khara 3:24 AM to answer your question: yes, but that party was from the higher ups
Pelna Khara 3:24 AM his actual birthday is tomorrow
Pelna Khara 3:24 AM crowe my sun and stars trust me on this
Luche Lazarus 3:25 AM i can confirm pelna’s statements
Tredd Furia 3:25 AM same
Axis Arra 3:25 AM ^^^
Sonitus Bellum 3:25 AM hi
Nyx Ulric 3:25 AM i confirm pelna’s statements as well
As well? Nyx hated attaching that in any phrase, Crowe remembered, for reasons beyond her. Despite the group’s typical rascally response, Crowe still felt skeptical about the whole affair. With reservation, she decided to give her overthinking head a rest and get along with their shady plan.
She quickly thumbed another message:
Crowe Altius 3:28 AM fine whatever
Crowe Altius 3:28 AM count me in
Crowe Altius 3:28 AM anything i need to do nyx?
She chewed on her lip, praying to the gods that she won’t be assigned with something out of her comfort zone, so she added:
Crowe Altius 3:28 AM and by anything, i mean anything except talking to the other commanding officers and anyone from the lucian council pls
Crowe particularly had a severe dislike talking with her other superiors, specifically Cor, Clarus, and even King Regis himself, after saying something completely inappropriate at a Kingsglaive gala two years prior. After that embarrassment, she sealed everyone outside of her Glaive circle for self-preservation.
The sudden inactivity in the chat group made Crowe want to throw another message for good measure, until Luche broke the momentary radio silence:
Luche Lazarus 3:33 AM more booze
Crowe Altius 3:34 AM right
Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM You’re the best, thanks
Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM Let’s all meet tomorrow at 2pm sharp
Nyx Ulric 3:36 AM I’ll try to stall the captain to give us time for prep
Crowe sank back to her sheets and turned off her phone so she could finally get some decent shut eye without the distraction from the Glaive chat group. She stared at the ceiling, trying to quell the unusual excitement that bubbled up in her chest, until it was brutally ambushed by a feeling that often creeped up on her whenever she started to enjoy any form of happiness.
On occasions such as these, Crowe wondered how celebrating birthdays would feel like. It was not as if she wanted to keep her birthday from everyone else—she just never knew what her actual birth date was. Having brought up as an orphan, she had figured that birthdays were only afforded to people living with their biological parents. Or people with legitimate paperwork. She had neither the luxury of those things. Sometimes, she would look at herself in the mirror, study her face, and scrutinize her chocolate brown hair, her brown eyes, and the angular structure of her cheekbones. Crowe thought that maybe, this was how her mother would have looked like, or her father...
Crowe groaned in disdain. She didn’t need the pity party at this ungodly time. She pulled the sheets over her head as she promptly derailed the depressing train of thought, pressed her eyes shut, and forced herself to sleep.
Crowe did as she was told and brought additional liquor with her on her way to the Kingsglaive HQ. She was pretty certain that alcoholic drinks were prohibited around the Citadel premises, but no one seemed to have caught her, so she just casually marched on toward the hallway. She rounded into a corner, where she saw Nyx standing by the doorway leading to the briefing room, holding his phone close to his ear.
When he saw Crowe approaching, he tucked his phone in his jacket. Nyx nervously beamed, “Hey there!”
Crowe raised an eyebrow out of suspicion. “What are you doing outside? Where are the others?”
Nyx answered, “Well, actually, they’re on their way but Captain Drautos is already coming in any minute—“
“Weren’t you supposed to be the one to keep him occupied?” Crowe asked, narrowing her eyes at Nyx. She had a bad feeling about this.
Nyx held her by the shoulders. “Yes, but change of plans. Look, can you please help holding off on the Captain for a while—“
Crowe instantly shrugged his hands off. “Nope.”
“Please?”
“Not interested.”
“With a cherry on top?”
“Gods, Nyx—you had one job.”
“Alright, fine,” Nyx ceased making any further effort, raising both his hands in casual surrender.
That was surprisingly easy, Crowe thought. If anything, Nyx was persistent, but this...
She let it slide. Crowe rolled her eyes and sauntered past Nyx. She opened the door and—
“Surprise!”
The confetti exploded from the party poppers in myriad of colors, together with the booming voices of the rest of the Glaives. The entire open space of the briefing room was filled with familiar faces—Libertus, Pelna, and Tredd each had a Li’l Malbuddy balloon in their hands, while Axis, Sonitus, and Luche carried a Li’l Malbuddy plush toy. The walls were decorated with scarlet-colored streamers and rows of gold letter balloons.
It took a while for Crowe to register that the balloons spelled a Happy Birthday Crowe! which totally did not make sense to her at all.
“Wait, what’s going on? I thought—guys, is this a fucking prank?” She bewilderedly trailed off. She was about to lash out until she saw Captain Drautos walking towards her, which even added more confusion to this entire event. “Captain?”
Drautos shook his head and addressed the Glaives. “You fools, I told you she wouldn’t get it if I didn’t give this to her first,” he casually smacked Nyx at the back of the head. They all burst out laughing. “Anyway, it’s because of this—“
The captain handed a brown envelope to Crowe, which she flipped open. Inside was a record, a file with her full name and her… birthdate.
Crowe gasped and croaked out the words in disbelief. “Wait, today’s… my birthday?”
“We found your records with Clarus’s help,” Drautos explained. “I regret ever mentioning it to Nyx as soon as I found out—the word spread like wildfire among your peers. It was a surprise that you didn’t find it out, with Nyx being a loudmouthed idiot. Anyway, the Glaives thought of throwing you a surprise party since you’ve never celebrated your birthday with us before—or uh, I’m sorry, I mean, it’s not that you didn’t want—“
“It’s fine, sir,” Crowe stared at the file she was holding. There it was, written in permanent ink: full details of her birthplace and birthdate. It didn’t disclose any info on her biological parents, but Crowe couldn’t care less. She read and reread, helplessly trying to wrap her head around all of this, until all she could say was: “Thank you. Really, guys, thank you—but wait. That thing in the chat was…”
“That was actually Nyx about to spill the beans with his drunken little mouth,” Pelna admitted, stepping closer with the Li’l Malbuddy balloon hovering above his head. The rest of the Glaives followed, gathering around Crowe. Pelna continued, “I was with him so I had to punch him right in the mouth for being dumb. We had a different chat group specifically for Operation Crowe. We humbly thank the gods that Luche was just smooth enough to save that conversation and we all had to improvise to throw you off the scent.”
“Well, someone had to keep you guys in check so you’re welcome,” Luche smugly added. “And by the way, you gotta thank the crown prince’s advisor for this merch. He tipped us off on where to find these.” Luche, Axis, and Sonitus rewarded Crowe with the Li’l Malbuddy plushies.
“You guys were… all together in this?” Crowe asked, and strangely enough, she was genuinely touched by the idea that everyone joined for this effort. She wanted to squeeze everyone into a hug and beat them all up for giving her feelings.
“Of course—everything for our little sister,” Nyx grinned, slinging an arm around Crowe’s shoulders.
“Don’t make me claw your eyes out,” Crowe said, elbowing him on his side that Nyx winced in pain.
“Whatever. Happy birthday, munchkin,” Nyx hugged Crowe. With the thought finally sinking in, tears of utmost happiness began to threaten her eyes. She wanted to punch herself in the face for wanting to cry.
Crowe looked curiously at Nyx, still controlling herself with her happy tears. “So is this why you guys have been acting weird for the past days?”
“See, I told you guys she’ll notice,” Libertus remarked. “Now, give her the damn cake before she starts crying!”
“I’m not crying! There’s just, I don’t know, a rock in my eye...” Crowe sniffed, and the rest of the crew laughed.
Libertus playfully shoved Nyx away from Crowe and wrapped her into a big bear hug. “Happy birthday, Crowe.”
“Thank you guys so much,” Crowe said with a teary-eyed smile on her face.
Roaring fits of laughter bellowed around the room when Pelna finally brought out a ghastly dick-shaped cake with a candle sitting at its tip.
Tredd announced, “So I know Pelna promised a boob cake, but Luche wanted the D—“
“It was the only cake available, asshat—“ Luche interrupted with a sneer. Everyone was still laughing at the atrocity of the confection in front of them.
“Sorry Luche, the D’s not for you,” Pelna teased. “Give this one a blow, baby girl.”
“Oh my god, I hate all of you!” Crowe laughed and cried. When it came to the business of brewing the finest hilarity and crazy antics, Crowe couldn’t trust anyone else aside from her comrades.
Everyone joined in and sang her an equally cheery and drunken happy birthday. And on occasions like these, Crowe found it difficult to permit herself to relish the happiness. But in the company of the people Crowe now considered as family, she finally did—and there was no place in Eos that she would rather be.