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“Hey, have you guys noticed that Seokjin hyung isn't putting out like he used to?” Are the first words that Taehyung utters the very second he wakes up. Everyone else was slowly waking up to see that Seokjin had gone to get some supplies when Taehyung says those fated words. Everyone sits up in near perfect sync and looks at each other.
“Actually, yeah, I have noticed that. I thought I was the only one though,” Namjoon says pulling Yoongi into his side and leaning heavily on Hoseok's shoulder because he's awfully cuddly in the morning.
“Hmm, I knew I was missing a flavor,” Jeongguk says before plopping back down into the bed.
“Flavor? The fuck does that mean?” Jimin asks unusually grumpy.
“Yeah. Oh, I didn't tell you guys?” Jeongguk asks running his hand through Hoseok's hair to try to rouse him out of his drowsy state. It seems to have the opposite effect but Jeongguk keeps doing it anyway. It's calming.
“Tell us what, kid?” Yoongi asks though it sounds mumbled because his face is pressed into Namjoon's chest.
“Well, you know how I feed off of sexual energy, right?” Jeongguk asks and everyone nods, albeit slowly “Well since I feed off of the energy of people and creatures I can sort of taste them. Not in the way that you're thinking, though I can taste them that way too, you all have a certain flavor,” Jeongguk says with a yawn.
“What do I taste like?” Taehyung asks finally having fully woken up.
“You have a sort of sharp taste. It's not bad but it's sharp. The kind of taste that sits on the back of your tongue like a pomegranate,” Jeongguk explains and there's a blush sitting high on Taehyung's cheeks.
“Not sure if that's a good thing but I'm taking it as a compliment anyway,” Taehyung says leaning in to kiss Jeongguk. Before the kiss turns heated Jimin separates the two with an inquiring look.
“What about me?” Jimin asks intrigued.
“You're easily the sweetest I've ever had like cotton candy,” Jeongguk says smirking at Jimin who rolls his eyes but blushes nonetheless.
“Alright lover boy what about the rest of us?” Yoongi asks and Jeongguk regards him, Namjoon, and Hoseok carefully and takes a breath.
“Well, Yoongi hyung you're bitter like coffee, Namjoon hyung is salty like pretzels, Hobi hyung is pungent like chili peppers, and Jin hyung is sour like Kimchi,” Jeongguk tells them and Namjoon squints at him.
“That's what you taste when we sleep together? Pretzels?” Namjoon asks and Jeongguk sigh exasperated.
“No, Joonie hyung, I was just giving you an example of your flavor,” Jeongguk says and Namjoon pouts.
“I don't wanna taste like pretzels though,” Namjoon says under his breath and Yoongi and Hoseok laugh and take turns kissing him.
“That's all great and fantastic but what about Seokjin not sleeping with us? It's been weeks,” Taehyung says and Hoseok nods.
“Yeah, it has been a really long time. Maybe he's stressed out about something?” Hoseok offers and everyone nods in agreement.
“Maybe. But, whether he is or not, I have a solution for this little problem,” Jimin says with a wide smile.
“Jimin, I don't know what you're thinking but I'm begging you not to do it. Seokjin may actually kill you if you do,” Namjoon tells him but Jimin just sighs.
“Come on Joon hyung, you know you miss Seokjin hyung too,” Jimin bargains and he's right; Namjoon misses Seokjin just as much as the others do.
“I know I'm probably gonna regret this but, fine, do whatever you're thinking,” Namjoon sighs and Jimin jumps out of bed and into action.
When Seokjin gets home everything seems pretty normal. Yoongi has trapped Taehyung on the couch with him so he can sleep, Hoseok and Jeongguk are stuffing their faces with whatever is in the fridge, Namjoon has seemingly just gotten back from hunting for him and Yoongi, and Jimin is in the basement practicing his potions.
“Guys I'm home,” Seokjin calls out and everyone nearly trips over themselves to get to him first. He laughs as he's attacked from all sides with kisses and hugs and weakly tries to push the others away. “Stop guys, I have to put this stuff down,” Seokjin says and they all back away but not without each getting a kiss from him.
“Seokjin hyung, we noticed that you've been a little busy lately so we decided to pamper you all day today. We drew a nice hot bath for you to soak in for a while, we got you chocolates and wine, and we're even going to take care of cooking dinner for you. Not Namjoon hyung because he would kill us all but he'll be there watching us cook anyways,” Jeongguk tells him with a wide smile completely ignoring Namjoon's pout.
“Yep, so leave all of this with us and go soak in the tub for awhile. The chocolate and wine are already in there and we'll come get you when the food is ready,” Hoseok says pulling Seokjin in the direction of the bathroom.
“Are you sure everything will be ok?” Seokjin asks Hoseok who nods at him assuringly.
“Of course it will. We have Jimin on Namjoon duty and only me and Yoongi are going to do the actual cooking while Taehyung boils things and Jeongguk cuts things. They'll all be occupied and only doing things they can do without injuring one another and, once again, Yoongi and I are going to keep an eye on everyone. Just go in there, sit your pretty ass in that water, eat those chocolates and drink that wine. We'll come get you when we're done,” Hoseok says planting a kiss on Seokjin's lips and walking out of the bathroom.
Seokjin strips off his clothes and dips his hand in the water; it's the perfect temperature. He sinks down into it and sighs as the warm water soothes his aching muscles. Maybe he really did need this after all. He sips on his wine and relaxes into the bath with a sigh. Curiously, he takes one of the unwrapped chocolates and smells it. There's a subtle hint of Jasmine and something spicy but he tries not to pay any mind to it. He pops the chocolate into his mouth and savors the flavor before he picks another up. He's not sure what brand of chocolate it is but it's probably the best chocolate he's had in his entire life. Before he's aware of it, he's eaten all dozen chocolates laid out for him and he looks at the side of the bathtub where they were sitting curiously. He's never been a sweets type of person so he isn't sure how he managed to finish all of those chocolates but something definitely doesn't feel right. As soon as he stands he feels slightly dizzy and he feels a whine trying to crawl up his throat.
“Seokjin hyung we're finished with –” Jeongguk is cut off when Seokjin's wet, naked body falls onto him. “Hyung, what's wrong?” Jeongguk asks lifting Seokjin up slightly and trying to quell the excitement in his gut. The chocolates are definitely working.
“Now. I need you now,” Seokjin says pulling at Jeongguk's shirt and Jeongguk tries to steady him.
“What's wrong hyung, are you ok?” Jeongguk asks and Seokjin nods.
“I don't know what you idiots did to me but I need you. All of you. Take me to the bedroom,” Seokjin says kissing and biting at Jeongguk's neck. Jeongguk lifts Seokjin and walks to the living room with him.
“Uh, guys, we have a situation,” Jeongguk says motioning to Seokjin in his arms.
“Don't act like this wasn't planned,” Seokjin murmurs into Jeongguk's neck and Jeongguk shivers. “Bedroom, now,” Seokjin tells the others and they all file into the bedroom after them.
“Is everyone still alive?” Namjoon asks after the fifth round in the living room. They've been going at it like cats in heat for the past few days in every single room in the house and he's not sure if they're all still breathing or not.
“I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin',” Jimin sings from behind the table.
“Speak for yourself. I'm fully and completely paralyzed from the neck down,” Jeongguk says from the loveseat across from Namjoon.
“I'm not sure if my dick hurts or feels good right now and I've never been so confused in my entire life,” Yoongi says from the somewhere on the floor.
“Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how royally Jimin fucked this up? Because he is an awful wizard we were all forced to suffer the consequences which was too much great sex. This was both a blessing and a curse,” Hoseok says from somewhere to Namjoon's right. Jimin lets out a squeak of indignation but everyone ignores him.
“Not to alarm anyone but I can't feel my legs. Or my arms. Or my heart,” Taehyung says from Namjoon's left. Seokjin walks back into the living room, stepping over various bodies, and sits in the unoccupied chair. “How the hell are you still walking Seokjin hyung?” Taehyung asks him and Seokjin shrugs.
“Not sure. Maybe it's because I was the one who unwillingly took the aphrodisiac so it didn't make me as sore as you guys,” Seokjin says glaring around the room at them.
“In our defense, you hadn't been sleeping with us,” Jeongguk says struggling to sit up in the chair.
“I hadn't slept with you guys in a week! Maybe even less than that!” Seokjin says incredulously.
“That's a long time in this house,” Hoseok says groaning as he pulls himself up on the arm of the chair.
“You guys are getting exactly what you deserve, you know? I hope you're sore for the next three weeks,” Seokjin says rolling his eyes at the sorry sight in front of him. Jimin and Taehyung are trying to use each other to get up. Trying being the key word because, every time they pull each other up, they fall right back down.
“Well, even though we did technically drug you, that's all you're mad at us about, right?” Yoongi asks and Seokjin can hear the underlying tone of worry in his voice.
“Even though you gave me an aphrodisiac everything was completely, one-hundred percent consensual. You're still dicks for forcing me to be more turned on than I ever have been but it was still all consensual,” Seokjin says sending the others a smile all they all slowly try to get in an upright position.
“I'm pretty sure all the sex we had made me lose fifteen pounds. I feel lighter,” Taehyung says pinching at his stomach curiously.
“Why fifteen? Like, why'd you settle for that number?” Namjoon asks and Taehyung shrugs still poking at his own stomach.
“I gotta agree with Tae. I'm pretty sure I lost a bunch of weight too,” Jimin says with a small frown.
“Don't worry, we'll make sure to fatten you right up,” Namjoon promises, kissing Jimin's forehead and Jimin giggles.
“Don't be cute right now you assholes, I'm trying to be mad at you,” Seokjin says still smiling fondly at the two and Namjoon leans over to kiss him right on the lips.
“We're sorry Seokjin hyung. Will you ever forgive us?” Yoongi says leaning over to kiss Seokjin as well. Before Seokjin knows it, everyone is attacking his face and neck with kisses and he can't help the laugh that escapes him.
“Alright, alright, I forgive you guys. Just next time, instead of using magic on me, ask me what's wrong,” Seokjin says and Jeongguk hums.
“What was wrong with you anyway?” Jeongguk asks grabbing Seokjin's hands and kissing his knuckles one by one.
“I have to go get my wizard license re-certified and it's been stressing me out quite a bit,” Seokjin says and Hoseok tilts his head at him.
“There's such thing as Wizard licenses?” Hoseok asks and Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“It's like you don't even know me at all,” Seokjin tells him and Yoongi snorts.
“In his defense, he wasn't with us when you got your first wizard license. It was just me, you, and Joon, remember?” Yoongi says and Seokjin nods.
“I forgot you guys weren't with me back then,” He says looking at the others apologetically. “Well, other than Jimin, the rest of you don't know this but every fifty years a wizard or witch has to go be re-certified to allow them to keep using magic. They give us an extensive test that covers new and old age magic and we have to know just about everything if we want to pass,” Seokjin says worrying his lower lip. Taehyung leans in to give him a kiss and stop him from chewing on his lips and he smiles when they pull away.
“Why are you so worried about it Seokjin hyung? You're the best wizard I've ever met in my entire life and you're gonna do great!” Taehyung tells him and Seokjin smiles at him.
“Besides, you help Jimin when he screws up, which is often, so you're good to go,” Jeongguk says and Jimin flips him off.
“I don't mess up that bad,” Jimin says under his breath and Hoseok ruffles his hair affectionately.
“You sure don't Jimin. Besides, I'm surprised you didn't screw up as bad as you usually do with these aphrodisiacs. You're actually becoming a better wizard,” Hoseok tells him and everyone cheers for him.
“Well, Seokjin hyung, whatever you need, I'll help you. I know I'll never be as good a wizard as you are but I really want to help you this time,” Jimin says sending him a beaming smile.
“We'll help you too, hyung. Whatever it takes!” Namjoon says and the others nod in agreement. They should really have learned from past mistakes to never agree to do something before you know what you're agreeing, too.
Yoongi runs into the room and hides under the covers only to find Namjoon and Taehyung already cowering. “What are you guys doing under here?” Yoongi asks them in a hushed tone as he listens to see if Seokjin followed him into the room.
“Hiding just like you are,” Namjoon says pulling Taehyung and Yoongi close.
“What about the others?” Yoongi asks and Taehyung shakes his head somberly.
“We can't think about them, we have to pack up our things and leave as soon as we can before –” Taehyung is cut off when the blankets fly off of them and Seokjin smiles almost maniacally at them.
“Found you!” Seokjin says and the others scream.
“No more, please, no more!” Taehyung pleads and Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“You guys act like I've been torturing you or something,” Seokjin says and Yoongi glares at him.
“You turned me into a woman. Who does that?” Yoongi asks him shuddering at the memory. How the hell do women live like that every day?
“It's part of the test,” Seokjin tells them but there's a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he smiles at them. “I'll be in the kitchen with more potions for you to try. If you run again I'll just have to strap you down like I did Jeongguk, Jimin, and Hoseok. Come down when you're ready,” Seokjin says walking away and Namjoon shakes his head.
“Do you guys have a feeling that all of this isn't actually a part of the test like he says it is?” Taehyung asks and Namjoon and Yoongi nod.
“The thought has crossed my mind once or twice,” Yoongi says somberly.
“You know, even though he is basically torturing us for his own amusement, I gotta admit he's super scary and I'm super turned on by it,” Namjoon says and Taehyung and Yoongi nod.
“Same,” They say in unison as they all walk to the kitchen to subject themselves to more torture.