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Summary
To say Yuuri was not doing well felt like a massive understatement.
He was out of his mind, all of the time. No, that’s not right. He wished he could be out of his mind. Instead he was trapped in his head, his thoughts racing. Different variations of the same old themes: You aren’t good enough. You’ll never be good enough. Everyone who has ever told you you’re good enough is lying to you out of pity.
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I don’t want to do this, he thought. I don’t want to do this. Please, I can’t do this. I can’t take anymore shame, anymore embarrassment. I can’t take anymore failure. Please. Please.
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There was no way back from something like this.
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All he knew was that he couldn’t remember a time where he’d ever felt this numb and this free.
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Or, the one where Yuuri walks off the ice.