Chapter Text
When people looked at Magnus, it was hard not to be taken aback. The man was drop dead gorgeous after all, but it was more to it than that. Alec figured that even mundanes had to acknowledge the possibility of magic when they laid their eyes on Magnus Bane. The sheer aura of the man was nearly overwhelming. The physical manifestations of his personality, be it the meticulous way he did his hair or the actual glitter he artfully placed on his body, pulled in a captive audience. It was no wonder that men and women alike flocked to him. Magnus, who could have anyone he wanted, should be with someone on his level in terms of aesthetic and power. He should be with someone that built on that.
Alec, on the other hand, was the definition of ‘subtle’ and he was being generous with that word. It was better than ‘drab’ or ‘boring’ or ‘invisible’. When people thought of Magnus, they had to think that the person he was willing to be monogamous with was just as awe-inspiring as he was. After all, the person that was able to earn Magnus’s complete attention had to be on the same level. Alec, who had to be convinced to wear something that was not black or a muted color, was not on that level. No one expected the two of them to be together. The whole Downworlder/Shadowhunter dynamic was the only visibly interesting part of their relationship in the eyes of others.
Alec had undergone quite enough scrutiny at Pandemonium when their relationship became public. Eyes raked over him. Perhaps to mundanes, Alec might have been able to pull off some semblance of attractiveness. The standard in Magnus’s world was raised exponentially when every patron of the club could pass as GQ models.
It was not that Alec was shallow. He knew that there was more to a relationship than looks. It was not that. It was not important to him what people thought about him or his relationship with Magnus. All that mattered to him was that Magnus was happy with him. Alec tried not to worry about that. Magnus was so assured in what he wanted. Alec, who almost married someone because he was terrified of speaking up for himself, was not. Magnus would have no issue in expressing any discontent.
He most certainly would not be wallowing on a couch in self pity.
Still, it was better than wallowing at a bar. Couch was always a better option. It meant that he could be alone with his internal monologue of crushing self doubt.
Magnus had left almost an hour ago to go to Pandemonium. Alec was not sure why Magnus always wanted to take him along. The night always went the same. Alec would wear something slightly out of his comfort zone while Magnus looked like a shining star. Magnus would speak to more than a dozen people while Alec awkwardly played with the straw in his mixed drink. Magnus would ask Alec to dance and Alec would say no and insist he dance with someone else. Magnus would give in and find several people to dance with. They would go home after a couple of hours and all would be well with the world.
Except this time, things went differently.
There was no playful pouting on Magnus’s part. He asked Alec if he wanted to go out. When Alec said ‘no’, he accepted it. He kissed him, said he would be back later and left. Alec had been stunned by the exchange. Sure, he had no desire to go out, but still…it would be nice for Magnus to put in a little more effort into coaxing him. That was part of the night.
So, more than forty five minutes had passed on the couch with Alec watching mindless television and petting a sleeping Chariman Meow. He continuously checked his phone, hoping he had not missed a call or a text from Magnus asking him to come out. They weren’t one of those couples that continuously had to be together, but it felt strange that Magnus was at a club while Alec was at home. Magnus was out dancing. And drinking. With people. With gorgeous people. Who wouldn’t pass at a chance to spend time with Magnus.
“What do you think, Chairman?” Alec sighed as the cat’s eyes sleepily opened. The cat stretched out in his lap, disinterested in whatever petty problems his owner’s boyfriend was facing on a Friday night. “I mean…I’m wide awake. I could just…show up…right? I mean, he asked me to come so he must have wanted me to come…and it’s a public place…kind of…I can just show up…surprise him…”
Chairman Meow blinked his eyes at him with a bored and unimpressed look. Alec smiled slightly as he moved his finger underneath the cat’s chin to scratch him. Chairman Meow leaned forward, his eyes slowly shutting as he began to purr. “Or I could…I could just not go and say yes next time. Like what boyfriends are supposed to do…Good boyfriends anyway.”
The cat opened his eyes once more as though to say ‘I’ll listen to your pitiful woes as long as you keep scratching me’.
“I’m being a good boyfriend other than that, right?” Alec asked, letting out a nervous sigh, “I mean, just because I do not want to go out every weekend does not mean I’m being a bad boyfriend.”
The sudden vibration from his phone made him jump. Chairman Meow tensed and jumped off Alec’s lap. He landed gracefully on the floor, hissing at Alec for the disrespectful action, before running away. Meanwhile, Alec scrambled to pull his phone out of his jeans pocket to look at the notification. He uncontrollably smiled at the text from Magnus before he read it.
‘Don’t wait up, darling. Have a good night. Love you.’
Magnus had always been respectful of the fact that Alec worked early and long hours at the Institute. Even on the weekends, Alec had difficulty staying up late or sleeping in. When they did go out, they were usually back home by midnight, if not earlier. Alec’s stomach twisted at the text. Magnus was probably enjoying the first true night of freedom to do what he wanted. He could stay out as late as he pleased with whoever he wanted.
No…He was reading far too into this. Magnus would be home eventually and the two of them could talk. This could be solved.
But the insecurity was eating away at his rationality, threatening him. He hesitantly texted Magnus back.
‘Stay out of trouble. Love you too.’