Work Text:
It’s my Birthday
Memories, always the memories. Aaron woke and checked his phone, there were birthday messages from his Mum, Lisa, Charity and of course Alex, who was just finishing a night shift and would be calling over later that afternoon. Something special was planned for the first birthday they were going to celebrate. There was a tinge of disappointment, not about the message but about the one that was missing. He had seen little of Robert since the Friday before Christmas when he had told him to ‘do one’ once again. He knew there had been an accident but Victoria had assured him that Robert was alright. On the two occasions he had seen him Robert had been in good form, looked lighter somehow and relaxed, almost as if there was an air of serenity about him. Aaron had thought that there would be a message all the same but he guessed that the New Year message wishing him all the happiness in the world was going to be it.
Liv had breakfast cooked downstairs, she had gone to a supreme effort and it was delicious.
‘Any idea what Alex has planned?’
‘Nope, it’s a surprise apparently but I have to be dressed in a smart casual way’
‘That’s nice, so exciting’
‘Yeah, it is’
She was enthusing, her default setting when it came to Alex, very different from when it was Robert. There. There it was again, a memory. He was over him, he knew he was. He and Alex were good and they had slept together more than once and it had been good, made him feel again. Still how could memories still matter? Another scour of Google results would be necessary.
Breakfast television was intruding into his thoughts. The nice Scottish lilt of Lorraine was talking to a resident travel expert. Aaron was half listening when it happened. A package on Las Vegas, the strip, the casinos, the shows, the cheeky little wedding venues. Every line hit him between the shoulder blades. Liv stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him. She said nothing and he didn’t either, a vacant look confirmed every fear she had and for once she opted for discretion.
Liv went to school and he sat in one of the games chairs. He cried, quite why he did not know but it was his birthday and he would if he wanted to.
oOo
At five on the dot Alex walked in looking smart. They hugged and he received the present. They were books, he knew that by the feel of them and he wondered at how this could be possible. He was not a reader, his stomach was lurching thinking of twelve months ago. Then he prepared to feign delight as he opened them. Alex had caught the look and secretly swore he would kill the swine that told him when he got him when those thoughts vanished with one look at his boyfriend’s face.
‘Alex, wow, these are fab. I mean I’m not bookish but these, I always meant to get something like these’. He was being sincere, one was about classic cars with pictures to die for and the other was a reference guide for fossils.
‘How did you know?’
‘I may have had a little help…um we should get going’
Aaron couldn’t remember telling Liv about these two but she must have known. In the taxi Alex refused to say where they were going and Aaron was kind of enjoying the suspense. He was ready to try to feel comfortable in a posh restaurant. His relief was overwhelming when it was a gastro pub that he had always liked in Hotton. The food was simple but scrumptious. Another memory came to him, the last time he had been here and the way Robert had mumbled about broadening horizons being a possibility. It had been typical Robert, always wishing to alter things slightly.
He had the usual, burger and chips and Alex had the house special. The chat was relatively easy but they were still at the stage where silence was uncomfortable and Alex had a habit of filling it with details about his work, which Aaron had found interesting but now hard to follow. Still he tried, this had been pretty perfect and Aaron was not going to be rude. Things were going well.
Liv made herself scarce when they came in but he slipped into her room when upstairs in the bathroom.
‘Thanks little sis’
‘Uh, I don’t need to see you two love birds, this is self-preservation’
‘I meant for advising Alex what to get me, I’m not a books man but it was the perfect choice’
‘I didn’t, wow he must really get you, that’s fab’
‘He….um…yeah he must’.
The TV was on downstairs. A holiday programme, with a feature on Vegas. God, something was really trying to get at him.
‘Let’s change channel, do you mind?’
‘Not at all, I can’t imagine anywhere more tacky, well maybe Ibiza but just by a bit’
Aaron didn’t reply. They hadn’t chatted about holiday destinations, and he certainly had said nothing about last year and the birthday present he had never got to use. The evening had been had been enjoyable, tailor made for him really. He would ignore any little niggle, Alex wouldn’t hurt him.
oOo
Alex and him had breakfast in the café the following morning. Aaron went to the bathroom as they were finishing and when he came back he say Robert leant over talking to Alex. Both had their backs to the door and Aaron was going to go over to tell Robert do one when he noticed the body language was relaxed and informal. He approached them and overheard Robert
‘I’m glad everything went well, he will really appreciate them’
Of course, there was one person who knew that the only books on the planet that would interest Aaron Dingle were the two sitting on the coffee table in the Mill. The same person knew that he liked that place in Hotton and that he would be comfortable there. Obviously, he hadn’t got around to telling Alex that Aaron also liked Ibiza and would walk on hot coals to get to go to Vegas.
‘Hey’
‘Aaron, didn’t see you there.’
‘What are you two rabbiting on about?’
Aaron looked at Alex who was carefully studying his coffee cup.
‘I was just asking about a snuffle Seb has. I’ll leave you to it’ he turned to go towards the counter, ‘Oh, happy birthday for yesterday Aaron, I…I didn’t know whether to text or not’. He smiled and went to the counter.
oOo
The knocking on the door was persistent. Robert went to it with Seb in his arms thinking Rebecca may be early to pick him up.
‘Aaron, hey’
‘Um, can I come in?’
‘Sure’
They were in the living room and Aaron noted the various items belonging to the baby. He wasn’t expecting Seb but he was going to do this anyway.
‘So, how is he’
‘Who’
Aaron nodded towards Seb.
‘Oh, um, he’s’
‘Fine, Robert I think is the word you are looking for. He has no snuffle’
‘Look Aaron, I’m not playing games, Alex stopped me in the café’
‘To thank you for the tips for my birthday’
Robert looked at him in surprise.
‘He told you’
‘No, well he said he got help but not from where, I thought it might have been Liv but she was clueless and then I realised there was only one person who’d know that and when I over heard ye talking I knew it was you’
‘I see, well I ran into him in David’s looking at cards, I apologised for my behaviour before Christmas and then it just kind of happened, I’m glad you liked them and I’m sure he is too. Next time he will be better able to make the call himself.’
Seb began to whinge a little and Robert comforted him.
‘I think someone needs a nappy change’
‘I’ll put the kettle on’
An hour later they were still in the living room chatting and laughing. Robert had just recounted something daft Jimmy had said when he looked at his watch.
‘Aaron, Rebecca will be here soon to pick him up, just so you know, I don’t want you to feel awkward.’
‘Oh ok, I’m glad she has let you back in with him’
‘So am I’
‘You are a good Dad’
‘Thanks, I’m going to try to be and I’m glad you are happy, he’s a good guy Aaron, he won’t hurt you or let you down’
Robert looked away, not able to meet his ex husband’s gaze. He got a shudder, as if he was reliving some dream he had over Christmas when everything was so different and he was happy with the man he loved.
‘I’ll see you around Robert’
oOo
‘Love let me get you a belated birthday drink, Liv told me Alex pulled out all the stops and got the perfect presents, there must be a spark there love a real spark’
‘Yeah, there is’, he smiled and went over to the corner booth. She was right there was a spark, a spark he thought would go, wished to be quenched but was still glowing as strong as ever. It might be time to let it shine.
oOo
Robert sat on his bed in Keepers, gently rolling his wedding ring through his fingers. Aaron’s was in the drawer. He was crying, maybe things had been a dream all the same but he was not going to change now, he liked this version of him and if Aaron was not going to be part of his life he could still be the best Robert he knew how to be.
His phone beeped. Aaron’s name appeared.
‘Robert, you did much more than let me down and hurt me, never forget that. A’
‘Cheers, and happy birthday again’
oOo
His Mum was right, there was a spark and he knew where it was and who it was with. He flicked through the book on the cars, remembering when he had told Robert about it. He had two more messages to send.
‘Alex, give me a shout when you are finished, A’.
‘Robert, are you busy Monday, I’d like to grab a bite to eat if you were free?’
Time to see if a spark could become a flame again.