Chapter Text
For nearly everyone, winter was that enigmatic time of year where they spent almost all of it asleep. There was no snowman building, no snowball fights, no ice skating or winter wonderlands, just flopping down on soft beds, snuggling under the warm blankets, and drifting off to sleep for three months straight. There wasn’t much sunlight during the season, so it left all the gems groggy and lethargic even if they tried to stay awake. Maybe the Lunarians were the same, because they just about never came during winter, only when the sun broke through, and if they did Sensei and Antarc were around to take care of them. Winter was just the fluffy white season of dreams. A mystery only Sensei and Antarc knew well.
Until now. Perhaps it was due to all of the excitement Phos had caused right before winter, what with getting eaten by a giant snail and then being taken hostage by that snail before finding themself tossed back onto the beach without legs so then they needed new legs that ended up being really fast resulting in them put on combat patrol with Amethyst and—well, a lot happened over a short time. Although the gems were tired, they weren’t sleepy. And Phos in particular was incredibly perky due to finally being given a chance to fight, not that they had actually encountered the Lunarians even once yet. After a couple weeks with still no signs of the winter sleep, Sensei had suggested they try something they’d never had the chance before—a snowball fight. A little bit of exercise should be just the thing to finally knock them all out, Sensei said. The idea was met with a mix of curiosity and excitement, with a bit of murmuring going around. Sensei told them to create their own rules, so it was eventually decided that the lustrous would split into two teams and within those teams, everyone would be in pairs to work together at knocking out targets. It was no surprise, then, that nobody wanted to pair up with Phos.
Jerks.
You weren’t allowed to partner up with your normal partner for this game, but Phos didn’t even have a normal partner, except for Amethyst at the moment, who had split up and disappeared somewhere. Brittle and clumsy, all Phos had to offer was speed and a big attitude, and if people wanted speed or attitude they would look for Yellow Diamond or Bortz. And they were, judging from all the clamoring noises coming from inside of the school.
No, I need to be smart about this. Someone who’s clever and fast and strong, but no one better than me would ask, and might actually accept being my partner.
Phos sighs. Yeah, right. If only such a wonderful and benevolent gem actually existed. Unless…
Phos’s reflection in the jellyfish pond mirrored them suddenly standing at a great revelation. Of course! Cinnabar! They fit all the criteria, except for potentially accepting their proposition because they had refused to help Phos with the natural history before. But. Maybe they just asked wrong back then. Besides, surely no one else other than Phos would ask Cinnabar. To the rest of the lustrous, Cinnabar was more of a rumored figure than a real comrade, never seen or heard, just talked about. They were unpredictable and dangerous due to their poisonous mercury, so no one tried to get close, either. To be honest, they were a lot of that to Phos, too, but after meeting them Phos hadn’t been able to get the image of Cinnabar out of their mind.
It was worth a shot. Cinnabar, probably would appreciate being asked, even if they didn’t say yes, and that was enough for it to be worth working up the nerve to go see them.
If Cinnabar patrolled at night, did that mean they slept during the day? If Cinnabar was sleepy, Phos’s great master plan would be ruined, so the youngest gem headed over the cliff as evening fell so if the redhead was snoozing, they’d know it’d be no use. It was cool. They were just taking a walk all by themself at dusk, admiring the scenery, and happened to stumble upon Cinnabar’s cliff and decided to stop by. After a few charming bits of small talk, they’d casually ask Cinnabar to be their partner for the snowball game. Cinnabar, overjoyed, would jump at the chance. It was a perfect plan.
Right.
Trying to ignore the looming specter of nervousness and anxiety that was following in their footsteps, Phos clumsily made their way up the cliff’s jagged walls. It was so easy to make a smooth entrance inside their head, but reality involved a lot of striped agate knees banging against the sharp rock.
It’s okay. If anything, Cinnabar will be touched that I went through all this effort just to see them. They might even start crying out of joy!
Hands shaking, Phos pulls themself up onto the gaping mouth of the cave. It was dark outside, the lingering twilight not offering much illumination, but Phos could tell it was empty because Cinnabar would reflect the light back if they were inside.
What the…? Where are they? ...Could it be that Cinnabar’s also taking a casual stroll, hoping to run into me?
The thought did make Phos smile. Cinnabar was always so cold and prickly, hardened by centuries of isolation and loneliness, but to think that the deep red gem might secretly be eager to see—
“What are you doing here?”
Phos must have jumped over a foot in the air. A familiar voice had sliced through the silent darkness, bringing with it the cool shimmering of reflective mercury.
Cinnabar!
“O-oh, hey!” Phos turned around, trying to lean against the dark rock wall casually. “What brings you here? I mean, I know you live here, but you were out, and now you’re back, and—“
Somehow this wasn’t going as planned.
“It’s almost night,” Cinnabar interrupted, rolling their eyes slightly. “You shouldn’t be wandering out around here, lost. What if the Lunarians came out again? It might happen for you, at least.”
Phos’s fake casual expression melted away to reveal slight irritation and frustration. Wow, if it weren’t winter already, Cinnabar’s reception would have sure hurried it up. But…Phos’s expression softens as they remember Cinnabar’s attitude is in part because they don’t want anyone getting attached to them, in fear that they might hurt them. Alright, they can take a hit or two. Cinnabar was worth it.
“I’m not lost, I’m right where I want to be. I came here to see you.” Well, you know, Cinnabar can always tell when Phos is lying, so might as well ditch the plan and see where their tongue can take them in the spur of the moment.
Cinnabar cocks an eyebrow, as if unsure if the reckless, troublemaking gem is trying to play a joke on them now.
“Me? Why? You have no reason to.” With that, Cinnabar walks past Phos further into the cave, trying to end the conversation. But who was Phosphophyllite if not stubborn?
“I do!” Phos yelled. Cinnabar, pair up with me!”
Cinnabar freezes. What? They must have misheard. There’s no way that idiot would say something like that to them, something they had dreamed of hearing every night as they walked alone in the dark—
“—For the snowball game!”
What. Cinnabar looks over their shoulder, but, no, that idiot appears to be completely serious. They can feel the glare settling onto their face, though they were mostly mad at themself for getting their hopes up so high at Phos’s words.
“…No.” Even the one word was hard to say, because when something rises and falls suddenly, the impact of it crashing down is hard to bear. What even was this stupid snowball game, anyway? Ridiculous. Cinnabar started walking again, but a burst of wind swept past their side and suddenly Phos was right in front of their face, mere inches away.
Those legs…
“Come on…I bet you want to do something other than sit around here and mope all day!”
“I can sit around here and mope all day if I want to!”
“And do you want to?!”
Neither backing down despite the close proximity, the two gems glared at each other. By this time the sun had already settled underneath a blanket of stars whose light Cinnabar’s silvery mercury reflected into the cave. Phos’s eyes were hard to look away from, but the seriousness of them forced Cinnabar to look at the floor. Ahh…why was it always Phos that made them feel this way?
“…I don’t.”
“Then—“
“—I don’t see why I should join you for your “snowball game” or whatever, either.”
There was a stubbornness inside of Cinnabar’s heart that didn’t want to let them leave their own cave of darkness and step into the light, even if Cinnabar wanted to. It was fear. Fear, that pooled around their feet like glue and kept them from moving forward. Memories of rotting plants, broken gems, pieces of once-sparkling, beautiful minerals that after coming into contact with Cinnabar, had to be scraped and thrown away, useless. Dead. The look in the eyes of their fellow gems, who wondered when they would be the ones being scraped if Cinnabar stayed with them. The look of pity in Sensei’s eyes as they simply could not think of one useful thing for Cinnabar to do, to give their existence worth. They simply weren’t the kind of gem who had earned the right to fun or games.
“Because I need you.” Cinnabar’s eyes move back to join the mint colored gem’s gaze. Are they serious?
“What are you saying over some snowball game? You won’t die if I say no. Just find someone else.”
Although their mind wanted to walk around Phos, who probably wouldn’t have stopped them, Cinnabar found that their legs refused to cooperate.
“I don’t want someone else. Look,” Phos sighs, trying to shake off the embarrassment, “I thought of you for a reason. You weren’t just my last choice or something. I mean, yeah, I did think you were the only one who might say yes, but…”
Cinnabar’s face showed their waning interest, so Phos sped up their plea. “..But that’s not what made me come here. You’re always alone. Just you, and all your thoughts about how useless you are and how you cause nothing but damage by existing.” Phos looks down at their legs, striped and colorful, reminiscent of a mistake made at sea. “I know, because I’m the same. But you’re not that, Cinnabar. You’re smart, and strong, and beautiful. Seeing you makes me want to try harder to make myself worth something. It makes me want to help others see how great and talented you are. And…it makes me wish I could spend more time with you.”
Phos extends a hand.
“I know it’s just a silly game that Sensei hopes will lull us to sleep. But I want you to be there, with me, because I always want you to be there with me. P-please?” The last part came out as a stutter because Phos’s face was almost as red as Cinnabar’s hair and it was making it difficult for them to speak. They weren’t alone, though, because Cinnabar was also blushing by this point, their expression a mixture of disbelief and…something else.
“What! What!” A million thoughts were racing around in Cinnabar’s head, as fast a million tiny agate-legged Phoses. Phos! What was with that long, embarrassing speech?! How did they even manage to get all that out and only stumble at the end? It was…they were…ugh!
“Fine! I’ll do it, just this once! Just…just stop saying such embarrassing things already!” Cinnabar’s hands were on their face to cover the blush that wasn’t going anywhere. Now that they had said their piece, Phos thought it was cute, but knew better than to say it right now.
“Yay!” Phos jumped and did a little fist pump. “Thank you! I promise, you won’t regret it! You’ll have so much fun, you’ll never want to come back here to sulk again!”
That idiot sure thought highly of their own plan, huh. The words Phos said earlier about understanding how Cinnabar felt resurfaced in the pool of their memories.
I know, you dork. That’s probably why…I told you that, on that day.
After making plans to meet the next morning, Phos races off in a colorful streak. That night, Cinnabar patrols with their heart a little less heavy.