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Outside the hatch to the underground lair frigid wind blew with ferocity, threatening to bury the few who dared go outside in ice and snow. Inside there was silence, except for the repetitive noises of someone’s frustration.
It was a stressful Christmas Eve. Robbie paced back and forth, clasping his hands then rubbing his face. The villain would periodically rest in his fluffy orange chair while the tapping of his foot echoed around the misshapen chamber. Still feeling perturbed, he resumed his strutting about. Sighing, he wondered to himself, how long have I been doing this?
A quick glance at the clock informed him that it had been 4 hours. That is, 4 hours of Glanni being late, not counting all the cleaning and preparation beforehand. Robbie leaned back against the metal railing in front of his disguises and groaned.
His cousin had always been fairly flakey, but as the years went by and his activity became increasingly risky they hardly saw each other. It’s not like Robbie faulted Glanni for getting into crime to support them, but things just weren’t the same anymore. He wasn’t a child, neither of them were. Glanni was fueled by spite and bad habits formed in his adolescence and he was no longer doing things to protect his little cousin, or even himself. It hurt Robbie to admit, but he feared that Glanni did malevolent things because he enjoyed it.
Robbie truly missed Glanni, especially since he was the only person who ever cared for him as a child, but with Glanni’s self proclaimed recklessness (which certainly no one would deny its accuracy) he honestly didn’t expect to see him this year. However, a sudden call during the late afternoon yesterday announced that he would be visiting. Which was… Strange. Almost concerning, but Robbie wished to confirm things for himself, so he hid these thoughts in the back of his head for now.
———
The cold winter eve would have been beautiful, was beautiful, but was simply non-navigational.
Glanni shivered in his coat as he trudged along the outskirts of Lazytown. Fashionable, but certainly not functional. He cursed himself for choosing to be vain instead of warm but didn’t dwindle on the thought, as at the back of his mind he knew he couldn’t afford another coat nor risk getting caught shoplifting after recent events.
I hope you can trust me, the words of the sepia-tone clad elf floated through his head. You aren’t an inherently bad person. No one is! Let me help you, we can fix everything. I promise.
The fae felt a rush of anger bubble up in his stomach. The selflessness. The insolence! He didn’t want any help, because behind help was pity and Glanni Glæpur, Reckless Crime, was not someone to be pitied. Íþróttaálfurinn had offered to take responsibility for him, to waive all his legal issues and help him live an honest life. As soon as the cell door was open, Glanni bolted and didn’t look back. He vaguely wondered if Íþró had even tried to chase him. Surely the elf had him outdone in physical strength and endurance. Glanni was more skilled at magic than him, but it hardly seemed to matter because Íþró was always just a few steps behind him. Except this time. But why?
He approached the hatch, shivering. Usually he would teleport into the underground home, but this weather paired with his habit of constantly skipping from location to location had left his nerves ground into dust and willpower all but crushed. Despite a feeling of desperation to get warm, Glanni hesitated to enter.
After running his fingers along the cold metal wheel of the hatch, Glanni turned to leave. His feet made soft crunching sounds in the heavy snow as he began to retreat into the silvery oblivion. However, as if his presence had been telepathically sensed by his cousin, the lid popped open to reveal Robbie staring towards him with a rather grim expression.
After several moments of awkward shifting and difficult eye contact, Robbie sighed.
“Well, are you coming in or not?”
———
A heavy air of discomfort hung inside the lair as Robbie tapped his foot while Glanni strutted around, appearing absentminded but secretly restless. Running his long, bony fingers over one of the disguise tubes, he finally broke the verbal silence.
“Dusty,” he commented. “I know you get absorbed into your work, dear, but do try harder to clean. I’ve been living in shit for long enough, I kind of expected to actually enjoy my stay here. Also, it’s not good for you to breathe in all-“ he waved his arm, gesturing to the entire room. “-this. Aren’t you allergic?”
Robbie just winced and continued to tap his feet with increased speed.
Glanni stared down at him from the platform. After Robbie made no attempt to respond, he tried again.
“You can stop with the racket. Please. It’s fucking annoying. You know I can’t stand too much noise and-“
Robbie let out a frustrated snort and flailed his hands. “YOU know that I can’t help it! I’m nervous. You make me nervous. I haven’t seen you in so long and when I came up you were about to leave and!“ Robbie cut himself off, trying to breathe slower and calmer. After a moment he stood up, though still slightly shaking. He hoped that Glanni didn’t notice. “Sit down. I’ll make you coffee. You probably need it.”
Glanni grinned and swung himself over the railing onto the floor below. “Now you’re speaking my language! Sugar and cream please. Lots” he requested as he settled down in the giant fluffy chair, resting his left leg over his right and bouncing his foot slightly.
Robbie meandered towards his kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. While letting it brew, he glanced over to last month’s newspaper which was laying face down on the counter.
Drawing in a sharp breath, he called out to his older cousin. “So,” he began. “How has… business… been lately?”
Glanni, assuming very little from his cousin’s behavior given that he was always seemed to be nervous, responded flatly and casually. “Oh, fine. I just wrapped up a con in Bigtown a few weeks ago so I’ll be able to take a break for now. Why? You afraid you weren’t getting a present this year?” He joked.
“Ahahah… yeah. Something like that. Bigtown huh? That’s pretty far from here.”
Glanni merely shrugged. “I have my ways of getting around.”
Robbie carried the coffee mug out from the kitchen and sat it down on the table next to Glanni. Clearly not satisfied with the conversation ending there, he pressed, “So you really haven’t been around here lately?”
“No. I haven’t. Don’t you want to talk about anything else? I haven’t seen you in months.”
Tight lipped, Robbie’s face twitched. He strolled back to the kitchen with an authoritative stride, then he returned to hurl the newspaper into Glanni’s lap.
“If you haven’t been around then what is all this about?”
Notorious Felon accused of new lows
Glanni Glæpur, the convict who recently broke from prison and made his getaway with the President’s car, was recently found in Latibær exploiting child labor under a false identity. Other charges include mass contamination of the town’s primary food sources and framing 2 teen girls for his actions. Despite notoriety of crime, the nation faces shock as Glæpur had not previously attempted mass physical harm . . .
Glanni merely stared down at the paper.
“Well? What. Is. This.” Robbie venomously spat while looming over his cousin.
Suddenly Glanni snickered. “This?” He waved the newspaper in his cousin’s face before throwing it onto the floor. “-is water under the bridge. I’m here right now, that’s all that matters.”
“So you’re not even denying it? You should be in jail.”
“Don’t worry, a stupid elf let me out early. I’m not in trouble anymore-“
“Let me rephrase that. You deserve to be in jail!”
“W-what?” Glanni stammered, “Don’t be stupid, these people deserved it! They’d believe anything you fucking told them!”
“Being trusting isn’t a reason to hurt people Glanni!” Despite trying his hardest to keep calm, tears had begun to well up in Robbie’s eyes. “A-and, wh-why would you frame teenagers? Do you remember how much you going to juvenile f-f-FREAKED up stuff for us? If no one caught you it would be on their permanent record, you could have ruined their lives-“
“Because they were FUCKING ANNOYING and in the way!” Glanni snarled as he shot out of the chair. “Every time I found a weak link in the group the others would bring them back on track. They never doubted each other. I had to get rid of them. I HAD to seed doubt or-“
“Or WHAT? You’d never sell your sludge in a can?”
“Exactly!” Glanni snarled, his face contorted into something devilish and unrecognizable.
Tears now freely flowing down Robbie’s face, he stared at his cousin in horror. “Who ARE you? I can’t. Can’t BELIEVE. I always feared it would come to this point but . . .” He trailed off, no longer meeting Glanni in the eye.
“But what?” Glanni snorted. “How ungrateful are you? I cared for you. I provided for you. Hell, you’re a fucking villain because of me.” He spat. Shaking angrily, he sighed into his hands before growling in a low tone. “You always said you wanted to be like me!”
“I might be Rotten, but I’ll never be as evil as you!”
Glanni stared at him like he had grown a second head before snatching up his coat and tucking it under his arm. He strutted towards the hatch with venom in his step then paused in front of the entrance. Suddenly spinning on his heels, he ran over to grab the still full coffee mug and snarled, “I hope you’ll be happy to be alone on Christmas. I know I will,” and with an aggressive snap of his fingers he teleported out of the lair, leaving Robbie on his knees alone and sobbing.