Chapter Text
Dan’s POV
A message flashed up on my phone again. Another girl confessing that she’s ‘madly in love’ with me, and how she loves my eyes, hair, hands, butt, whatever. This time it was Olivia, the jock-girl of the school. She was pretty and nice, but, as I’ve said endless amounts of times, the feeling was not mutual.
I pretended not to notice the message, and pocketed my phone. I picked up my coat from the hall floor, and threw my backpack over my shoulder. Both my parents had already left, so I walked out the house without having anyone to say goodbye to.
The snow was deep outside, a few inches at least. Maybe they’d cancel school. I prayed inwardly that school would be cancelled, although that was wishful thinking, probably even mindless dreaming. I closed the door behind me.
I stood still on the door step for a moment, watching my breath swirl in a cloud of steam before disappearing into the cold air. My coat zip was undone, so I did it up all the way past my neck, to my chin, and buried my face in the warm fabric.
I trudged through deep snow for the long walk to school. On the way, I had to ignore the pretty girls on every corner, watching me as I walk to school, all whispering to each other “does he know?”.
I do know, though. I know that they all follow me home sometimes, giggling and squealing if I turn around.
A group of girls from my year walk in front of me, walking at such a slow pace that it’s impossible to stay behind them, and I’m forced to walk through them, an awkward silence as they all watch me walk away.
After turning another corner, I see Phil, in the same position as me, girls swooning around him, can’t blame them though. He turns around when he realizes I’m behind him. His blue eyes look into mine, god, you could go swimming in eyes that blue. He half smiles at me. Cute.
We’re not friends, exactly; we just understand each other’s pain when it comes to girls.
“We’re going to be late” Phil pointed out, glancing down at his watch.
I wasn’t prepared to be spoken to, and this caught me off guard, so all I could say was “huh? Oh, yeah.”
I inwardly curse at my loss for words. God, I was awkward. What do those girls even see in me?
Phil and I walked silently to school together, and when we got to the gate, we parted, going off to different rooms. I walked towards the field, where at least half the school were standing around, doing nothing but freezing to death.
I walked towards my friend, Cathy, who wasn’t even wearing a coat and looked slightly blue from the cold.
“Cathy, oh god, put a coat on, you’ll catch your death” I said, wiping snow off her face
“I don’t have one” she shivered. I sighed and slipped my coat off and wrapped it around her. She warmed herself in it, gratefully. “Thanks, Dan”
“It’s okay” I said, rubbing up and down my arms in vain attempt to warm myself.
Some girls around us muttered jealous remarks about Cath. She turned away from them and looked up at me. I was much taller than her, and my coat looked giant on her thin body.
“They love you” she pointed out
“No, being in love and having a crush are different things” I slyly smiled back at her
“No big difference really” She rolled her eyes at my snobby comment
“Hey, what are we doing out here, anyways?” I ask, looking around at the majority of the school crowded around in a clump.
“Waiting for the head to let us go, I think”
“Snow day?” I ask
“Seems like it”. And at that moment, the head came outside and ushered us home. I sighed in relief as I climbed up the steps, towards the path back to the gate. Cath got into her mum’s car and gave me back my coat and thanked me.
As I walked out the gate, I heard someone calling my name. A girl.
“Dan! Dan wait!” She called, desperately
I turned around and raised an eyebrow at her “what?”
She giggled slightly, and looked back at her friends, who stood behind her, nudging each other “What would you say if I asked you out?”
I sighed “I’m sorry, you’re cool, but I don’t want to.”
“Why?” She whined, twirling a bit of hair around her finger, in attempt to be seductive
I stood there on the spot, with the realization that I didn’t actually have a good answer for her question. I knew I had to answer though.
“Uh, um” I spluttered, lost for words, “I’m uh…gay”
I couldn’t believe the lie I just told. I regretted it as soon as the words left my lips. I stood there in complete terror and shock as I watched the glow leave the girls face. She looked horrified.
“I…uh…I need to go” She spat out before running off with her group of friends. I stood wide eyed, stunned, completely in awe of what I just did.
I turned around and ran, astray of even where I was going. I cursed under my breath, getting louder and louder until I was practically screaming.
My phone buzzed non-stop in my pocket, people calling, texting, tweeting, whatever. People already knew. I felt sick. I was going to puke.
I stopped for a moment by someone’s garden flower bed and leaned over, collapsing onto my hands and knees and-