Work Text:
Nathan Byrn stares at his reflection from the nose down. He's mostly naked, and his eyes trail over bumps of scar tissue. He knows it's his body, can tell you where every mark and bump and scratch came from, if someone ever had the balls to ask, however, looking at himself, he just doesn't understand.
He can hear Gabriel moving in the other room as he studies himself, knows that Gabriel will coming looking for him soon. He'd been gone too long. That doesn't mean he can stop himself from looking at the ruined skin on his torso, and the marks on his neck, and hand he didn't want there.
He doesn't understand how Gabriel can look at him and call him beautiful and mean it. Nathan was not pretty. Not physically, not mentally, and his personality was shit. Even he knew it. He knows his time is up when he hears Gabriel say his name from the bedroom. Counts his footsteps.
Nathan hadn't bothered to lock the door because it was only Gabriel. The only person in the world he could trust to not destroy him. Gabriel knocks anyway. Nathan has exactly enough time to pretend he was doing something else before Gabriel opens the door, but he chooses not to. He continues to stare at his reflection. He didn't want to lie to Gabriel.
The door opens, and Gabriel peeks in at him. He watches Nathan watch himself, before sliding into the bathroom, too. He leaves the door open, letting cool air in that raises goosebumps on Nathan's skin.
"Nathan?" Gabriel asks quietly. Nathan moves his eyes from his own reflection to Gabriel's. "What are you doing?" Are you okay?
"Just..looking. At myself. I guess." Nathan says with a sigh. There's a pause before Gabriel offers Nathan a smile.
"Can I look, too?" He asks, eyes trailing over Nathan's chest. Nathan rolls his eyes.
"You always look." He tells Gabriel. Gabriel grins again.
"I'm allowed to look now, why wouldn't I want to?" Nathan gestures to the scars littering his chest and stomach. Gabriel moves to stand behind Nathan, and slowly wraps his arms around Nathan's torso, placing his palms flat against his stomach and chest. "Your scars are a part of you, Nathan. You survived every second of pain these marks took to make and heal." Gabriel's whispering into Nathan's neck, and Nathan shudders as Gabriel's breath tickles his skin. Then, Gabriel kisses the area where shoulder meets neck.
"You survived this, and you're here with me." He says. Nathan nods his head.
"They're still ugly." Gabriel shakes his head against Nathan's skin, and places another kiss on his shoulder, his neck, his shoulder blade, the top of the B carved into his back, and then the W.
"Come on, it's late. I want to read." Gabriel says quietly. He doesn't release Nathan until Nathan starts to move, and even then, he just takes Nathan's hand so they can walk.
Nathan allows Gabriel to pull him through the empty cabin, it's just them. Always just them, unless Arran comes to visit. Sometimes Ellen comes, too, but mostly just Arran.
It's warm outside on the balcony. Because Nathan is used to it, or just doesn't care is forgotten, now. Gabriel prompts him to crawl into their bed, which is outside because who the fuck would sleep inside if they didn't have to? Nathan indulges Gabriel, and climbs onto the bed first. Once he's comfortable, Gabriel joins him, and digs around for his book, which had been abandoned when he came to look for Nathan, probably.
Gabriel reads out loud to Nathan every night, even if Nathan doesn't normally listen to the words, just Gabriel's voice. Apparently, tonight will be no different. Nathan rolls onto his stomach to hide his face into his pillow as he listens to Gabriel's voice, but he gets distracted by the feeling of the sheets getting stuck on scar tissue. Nathan frowns into his pillow and goes every still, trying to even breathe slower. Gabriel's fingers on his bare shoulder make him jump.
"Sorry, sorry." Gabriel apologies quickly. Nathan turns his head to offer him a half-hearted glare. Gabriel pats his cheek. "You were thinking too much again." Gabriel says softly.
Nathan sighs before rolling back into his pillow. Gabriel's fingers come back to the skin on Nathan's shoulder, then moves down over his shoulder blade, and along his back. Gabriel shifts, and Nathan feels his knees against his side, and then Gabriel's other hand is also running along Nathan's skin. Against Nathan's wishes, his body relaxes into Gabriel's touch. Nathan is almost asleep when Gabriel's hands stop moving. Gabriel waits four slow heart beats before shifting, slowly, to lay down beside Nathan. A feathery kiss touches Nathan's shoulder before Gabriel throws his arm lightly around Nathan's waist and nestles and close as he can to Nathan's body. If Nathan were actually awake, he'd move away, and Gabriel knows it, but Nathan doesn't want to move, so he doesn't.
"I love you," Gabriel whispers against his skin. Nathan shivers at the warmth that spreads through his belly at the words. He feels Gabriel's smile pressed against his skin, and he tries to say it back, to tell Gabriel he loves him, too, but he's not sure if he manages before he falls asleep, feeling safe.