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Silver was sprawled in the hammock with a book, lazily pushing off the nearby wall with his bare toes to keep it swaying slowly.
Thomas called the room their sitting room and James usually did as well around Thomas, but if James and Silver were alone it was just the front room. It was in front of the big bedroom that took up over half the house, so it just made sense to call it that as far as Silver was concerned and James had agreed, though it amused him that Thomas called it a sitting room as if they had a dozen rooms in the house, not three total. The only other room was the large open-air kitchen along the back of the house, which was down a wide hall that led from the front room along the side of the bedroom. The kitchen had half walls of the same stone as the rest of the house with sturdy pillars spaced evenly around them and heavy wood shutters that could be closed and securely tied down but seldom were, making it tolerably cool even while they cooked on the hottest days. Every window in the house was the same way, wide open with wood shutters that could be closed but seldom were, and they had no plans to glass them in despite the mosquitoes that could sometimes be an annoyance.
The hammock Silver could so often be found sprawled in had been cheerfully stolen off the Lion not long after they finished the house. Silver hadn't even tried to hide that he was making off with Jack's favorite hammock, attracting the attention of Anne and the crew when Jack tried to loudly lecture Silver about his degenerate thieving ways. Silver had pointed out that he had stolen much more valuable things from Jack in the past and that he had seen many other things he could have taken. Jack had asked what sort of things, obviously incensed that Silver had stolen from him, and then it had all quickly gone downhill from there. Silver had decided prudence was the better part of valor and leaped up on the rail to get the rolled-up hammock tucked under his arm out of Jack's reach while he listed off possibilities, none of which he was actually sure had ever been in Jack's cabin. Anne was soon laughing so hard she was in tears with James, Thomas, and the crew all grinning or laughing while Silver's list of Jack's supposed possessions grew more and more embarrassing. It had ended with Jack shoving Silver over the rail for insinuating Anne had a very particular sort of toy Max had given her to use on Jack when he was being particularly trying. Silver had seen the shove coming and managed to twist around to dive into the water fairly gracefully, hammock and all, and then James had tossed Jack in after him, screeching all the way to land on his back with a huge splash.
Silver had stolen Jack's hammock because he had never seen another like it at the time, though Jack had soon replaced it so Silver supposed they were easily available somewhere. It was made from soft dark green cloth that breathed so well it was surprisingly cool even on the hottest days, reinforced by a delicate-seeming string net that was actually quite sturdy, which Silver and James had taken advantage of on more than one occasion even before Silver stole it. Sitting in a hammock was far more comfortable than a chair in Silver's opinion and James agreed completely, though Thomas just laughed whenever they invited him to share theirs.
The hammock wasn't just used for reading in their home, Silver and James had often ended up making love there or napping so tangled together that it was hard to tell where one stopped and the other began, but Thomas still avoided the hammock completely. He had decided the first night they all slept together that James and Silver would need time without him, just as Silver sometimes slept alone so James and Thomas could have some privacy, and the hammock had made that easier for them all, especially on bad nights. James and Silver were both prone to nightmares and there had been many nights that one woke the other with a nightmare that left them both too wide awake to sleep afterwards. Thomas needed his sleep to feel himself the next day so they tried hard not to keep him awake when sleep was simply beyond them, making sure he went back to sleep and then spending the rest of the night in the hammock together.
Reading in the slowly swaying hammock was one of Silver's favorite ways to pass the time when the other two were busy. It reminded him of time spent reading in James' quiet cabin on the Walrus, his hammock swaying with the motion of the ship while James busied himself at the desk. Being alone in the cabin with James had been the only time Silver felt truly safe after he lost his leg, and he knew James had noticed even though nothing had ever been said. James had quietly encouraged Silver by spending more time in the cabin himself, though they had sometimes gone hours or even days without saying much to each other.
That particular afternoon Silver was in the hammock reading 'Meditations' again, smiling slightly as he wondered for the hundredth time if James had been influenced by the book because his beloved Thomas gave it to him, or if Thomas had given James the book because so much of it fit the man James naturally was. Silver rather thought it was the second option, but he had no plans to ask. Either way, he loved the book mostly because he loved James more than life itself, though he knew better than to say so out loud around Thomas. Thomas hated to hear that Silver would give his life for either of them, just as he hated to hear James say it. Thomas would do the same, of course, and would even admit as much if pressed, but he didn't like to think about losing either of the men who were quite simply everything to him.
Silver glanced across the room at that thought, smiling as he gazed at Thomas, who was sitting in his chair between the side windows where the light was the best, relaxed and serene as he read a volume of poetry Anne had brought for him on her last visit. She had claimed they were over her head just as she had often pretended she was too stupid to understand the books she brought them, but they all knew it was an act. Every time she visited there was at least one new book tucked in one of the voluminous pockets of her leather coat, and her taste was impeccable. She was entirely too consistent about bringing only books they would enjoy for it to be an accident.
Silver looked out the side window after watching Thomas read for a few moments, wondering if James was having any luck tracking down one of the pigs that ran wild on the island. They had begun from tame stock years ago, but they had run wild and bred indiscriminately for so long that they little resembled the tame pigs Silver had always known. The wild ones on the island ran smaller than tame pigs, usually some shade of dark red with coarse hair and wicked tusks that could tear through a boot like it was paper. They tasted better than any tame pig Silver had ever had to make up for the smaller size, though, and he was looking forward to James bringing one home at least as much as Thomas had been when he suggested that James go check the snare Silver and James had put out along a pig trail the day before. It resembled the type of snare used for rabbits, just much larger, and Silver was interested to find out if it had worked.
Silver was still looking out the window towards the trees when there was a quiet three-beat knock on the front door. He and Thomas looked at each other in surprise and then Silver closed his book and set it aside, easily heaving himself out of the hammock. "I wonder who that could be?"
"I'm quite sure I don't know," Thomas murmured, smiling as he looked back down at his book to finish the passage he was reading. "No one we know bothers to wait after they knock, if they knock at all."
Silver just chuckled softly, walking towards the door. Anne in particular never bothered to knock, which he privately thought was because she hoped to catch them doing something. She treated James and Silver rather like she might have treated brothers if she had them, and she could be merciless when she had something to tease them about. Jack would knock if he reached the door first, which didn't happen often, but he never waited for an answer either, and it definitely wasn't anyone from the Runswift or the Quicksilver, which were both on runs far to the north of Maroon Island.
Silver's step was quiet on the wooden floor, having long ago gotten the knack of setting his peg down quietly, and he was barely halfway to the door when whoever was waiting knocked again much more loudly. "I'm coming!" he called, amused as he wondered who it might be. He thought it was likely one of the Queen's men asking him to come to the port to negotiate for some stray captain who was having trouble getting a good deal on supplies from the Queen. Anyone else who visited was enough of a friend to just stick their head inside and say hello after they knocked, sure of their welcome.
Silver was smiling as he opened the door, but the smile disappeared the moment he found himself staring into a familiar pair of pale blue eyes. It had been more than two years since Silver saw him, but Billy Bones had featured prominently in his nightmares so often that to Silver it felt like it hadn't been nearly so long. Billy was dressed well enough to look rather prosperous, his hair grown long and plaited back on either side to keep it from his clean-shaven face, but otherwise he looked just like Silver remembered. It took Silver a moment to notice the pistol and sword in his belt and the second pistol held close to Billy's side that was pointed in Silver's general direction.
"I bet you thought I was dead," Billy said quietly after a few moments.
"No, I was sure you were alive, Billy," Silver replied firmly, making no effort to be quiet.
Thomas looked up in alarm and stood up, quickly putting his book in his chair as he started towards the corner of the room where the weapons cabinet was, trying hard not to make any noise Billy might hear. He wasn't nearly so accomplished with a sword as Silver or James, but once he had a pistol in hand he planned to go out the side window and circle around to get the drop on Billy. The windows had been built big enough that even a big man could easily go outside through them and Thomas would be able to move much more quickly once he was outside where his boots wouldn't make as much noise as they would on the wood floors in the house.
"You were gone by the time Anne and Jack went back for you," Silver went on, hoping to get Billy talking. He couldn't see or hear Thomas moving because of the open door between them, but he was sure that he must be and hoped he could keep Billy busy long enough for Thomas to get to a pistol before Billy realized Thomas was there. If he couldn't, Silver was afraid that James could come home from his hunting trip to find Billy waiting for him with Silver and Thomas both dead. If that happened Billy would die hard, Silver was very sure, but he also knew that James would be dead soon afterwards. James had said he refused to even try to live without Thomas and Silver after a particularly bad nightmare just a few weeks earlier, and Silver had no doubt he meant it. "The Lion's crew found the graves and your old camp when they searched the island, but you were gone."
"The Walrus will never float again, but she didn't burn before she sank," Billy said. "I scavenged enough out of the wreck to repair one of the long boats and get it seaworthy. I rigged up the bowsprit as a mast and pieced together a sail, and then I gathered supplies and set sail south." He shrugged slightly. "I don't know how long I was out, I lost track of time after I ran out of water, but I finally got picked up by a slave ship. Told them my ship broke up in a storm and I was shipwrecked alone, and they took me on."
"So you've been a slave trader all this time?" Silver asked with distaste as he wondered how Billy had found them.
There were far fewer people on the island than there once was, but most who visited it were allowed to see so little that they had no idea that nearly half of the population had left with Madi for Jamaica nearly two years ago. A hurricane had hit hard later that same summer, one of the worst anyone could remember, and it had literally changed the eastern face of the island. Few structures on that side of the island had withstood the winds and what little remained standing had taken enough damage that nothing was fit to live in without major repairs afterwards. The damage on land was only the beginning, though. The high seas blown in by the storm had moved tons of sand around, deepening some places and filling others, and a wide sandbar had formed outside the cove that had once been used by most ships that visited the island, narrowing the already tricky passage into the cove even further.
The Queen had made the decision to move her people to a more protected cove on the far side of the island where there had been little damage. Her people had finally began building a real town then, putting up sturdy stone and wood homes, and word had spread quickly that it was a safe port to stop for a refit or to resupply. It was an open secret among those on the account that Long John Silver had retired on Maroon Island and was willing to help a captain negotiate with the Queen for supplies and labor, but few knew exactly where Silver lived and it was a closely guarded secret that he shared his home with a disgraced British nobleman and the man who was once Captain Flint. Everyone who lived on the island knew that James and Thomas were both supposed to be dead and wanted to remain that way, so no one would have told a stranger where to find them, not even one who claimed to know them.
The Queen's people watched the coast so well that Silver hadn't seen an unfamiliar face outside the Queen's settlement in a very long time. The Queen's guards tended to kill those they found roaming where they shouldn't be so few dared to try, and those who did were usually stopped before they ever set foot on the shore. Silver would have sworn it was impossible for a stranger to make their way to the sturdy stone house on the bluff that he shared with James and Thomas without being seen and stopped long before they got there, but Billy was proof he was wrong. Anyone who knew Billy from before would surely know the story of how he turned on them as well, which would have made them even more likely to kill him.
"You know I hate slavers," Billy said with a frown.
"I knew I could trust you once, too," Silver pointed out. "After the island, you turning slaver wouldn't surprise me."
Billy stared at him a moment, his blue eyes pained and intense, but he didn't argue. "I jumped ship as soon as they made port and signed on to the only other vessel there at the time, a frigate out of Tortuga." He hesitated, then added, "I didn't know until after we were at sea that they were flying the black more often than not, attacking any ship that they thought they could take and leaving no survivors to cause them trouble."
"I'm sure you fit right in," Silver said before he could stop himself. Making Billy angry while Billy held a gun on him wasn't his best idea, he knew, but he simply couldn't help it.
Billy scowled. "I'm a damn good sailor and I never backed down from a fight. That's more than you can say."
"I never wanted to be a sailor," Silver agreed, "and I find no shame in the fact that I avoided fighting as often as possible. Unlike some I could name, I killed only when I had to. I didn't turn traitor and murder my friends."
Billy's scowl deepened and he shifted his grip on the pistol, lifting it a bit higher to point at Silver's chest. "I did have to! If I didn't shoot them, I would have been shot myself!"
"I would have gladly died before I murdered anyone who was fighting not to go under with a sinking ship, Billy," Silver said quietly, "much less my own crew."
"They weren't my crew anymore," Billy pointed out, still scowling. "And it's easy to say you'd have died for them when it wasn't you with a gun at your back!"
"It is easy for me to say," Silver agreed, "because it's true." He patted his left thigh, drawing Billy's attention down to his peg leg. "I proved I'll die for my crew, Billy, or have you forgotten?"
Billy stared at the peg a moment before he lifted his gaze to Silver's again, his scowl fading as he slowly lowered his pistol, easing the hammer down as he murmured, "No, I haven't forgotten. I know you were the best of us all."
Silver remembered once when James had said almost the same thing to him, and hearing it from Billy made him wish not for the first time that Billy had never turned on them. Billy had been one of Flint's most loyal followers when Silver first met him and had soon become one of Silver's closest friends, and he hated how it had all ended up. He still felt like what happened with Billy was at least partially his fault, though even in hindsight he had no idea how he could have prevented it. "I'm not, Billy. I'm just a man, no better or worse than many others we sailed with."
Billy looked into Silver's eyes for a long moment and then changed the subject abruptly. "I thought that Captain Flint was supposed to be dead."
"Flint is dead," Silver agreed, nodding. "He died soon after the battle for the Eurydice."
"No, he didn't," Billy said softly. "I watched him leave this house earlier."
"You watched James leave," Silver corrected, "not Flint."
Billy frowned. "Why lie to me? I knew Captain Flint for years before you met him! His hair is longer and he dresses differently now, but I'd know him anywhere."
"Flint died before the Lion made port again," Silver said. "The man you saw was James McGraw."
Billy rolled his eyes then and said sharply, "They're the same man!"
"No, they aren't," Silver disagreed. "The man you knew was a product of such unbearable pain and rage that it nearly consumed him before James finally found himself again. Flint is dead and gone, and good riddance to him."
Billy just stared at Silver for a few moments, frowning, then said suddenly, "You really are in love with him, aren't you?"
"And if I am?" Silver asked. "How could that possibly matter right now?"
"It explains why you would never truly back me when I spoke against him," Billy replied softly. "Why you let him turn you into someone just like him, even though I tried so hard to warn you he would ruin you."
"He didn't turn me into anything, Billy," Silver said with a sigh. "He just happened to be there when I got so lost in anger that I stumbled onto that same dark path he had been stuck on for ten years. I might have lost myself on it if he hadn't finally realized what was happening to me and fought so hard against it. He was determined to see me through and safely out the other side, and in the process managed to find his own way back."
"He killed his best friend," Billy said. "Gates had been with him since even before he first boarded the Walrus and Flint still murdered him in cold blood."
"I was there, Billy," Silver pointed out. "I saw his face and there was nothing cold about it. Killing Gates hurt him almost more than he could bear, but he felt he had no choice."
"He still murdered his best friend," Billy repeated.
"So did you, Billy," Silver pointed out quietly. "Only you killed eleven of your closest friends, and every one of them would have died rather than shoot any unarmed man who was trying to escape a sinking ship."
Billy swallowed hard and looked down. "I still have nightmares about that."
"So do I," Silver agreed. "I had to watch someone I had once trusted murder nearly all of the crew I had sworn to protect, and then you tried to kill the closest friend I had ever had too, which made it all just that much worse. I didn't find out until later you also nearly murdered the only woman I ever loved."
Billy flinched, not looking up. "I didn't hurt Madi. I could have, but I didn't."
"If you had, James and I would likely still be at war," Silver said, making Billy finally look at him again. "If she had died on the Eurydice neither of us would have stopped fighting until we were dead, and when we stand together no one can stand against us, Billy. No one."
"Which is why you'll put that pistol down now," James said firmly, making Billy look towards his left in surprise. James was standing at the corner of the house, his pistol raised and aimed at Billy's chest. "You're still alive right now because it's not pointed at him, Billy, but you will drop it."
"Immediately," Thomas added from the other side. Billy quickly turned his head to his right, surprised to see Thomas standing at the other corner of the house with Silver's pistol aimed at Billy's head. "You can do it of your own accord, or it can drop when you die," Thomas added calmly, "I don't care either way. After the nightmares you've given them both, I could kill you where you stand with no regrets."
"As could I," James agreed, drawing Billy's attention back to him. "I watched you murder too many loyal men who would never have done the same to you, their brother."
Billy stared at James a moment longer and then looked at Silver again, not answering James or Thomas. "I didn't come here to hurt you. I just wanted to talk to you and I knew you wouldn't unless I made you."
"So drop the pistol, Billy," Silver said quietly. "You don't need it to talk. I'll listen."
Billy was silent for a long moment, just looking at Silver, and then suddenly dropped the pistol, lifting his hands.
James started towards Billy as he said firmly, "Back away, Billy. Now. I don't trust you so close to him."
Billy didn't argue or look away from Silver, backing down the steps and moving away about ten feet before he stopped. "Is this far enough?"
"It'll do," James agreed, moving between Billy and Silver. He reached out with his free hand to take Billy's other pistol, tossing it to the ground near the one Billy had dropped, then he stepped away as he reached back towards Silver with his free hand, never taking his gaze off Billy. "You alright, love?"
"I'm fine," Silver answered quietly, moving down the steps to go take James' hand. He was sure that coming home to find Billy holding a pistol on him had terrified James and he didn't mind giving James the physical reassurance of being able to feel he was still with him. He stayed behind James even as he held his hand though, sure that James would be happier if he was allowed to stay between he and Billy. "He could have killed me, but he didn't."
"Which is why I haven't shot him yet," James agreed. "I can't help but think he deserves it, though."
Thomas moved to join them, reaching out with his free hand to grasp James and Silver's clasped hands as he looked at Billy. He still held Silver's pistol pointed in Billy's general direction, though it was no longer aimed at his head. "I planned to, when I went out the window."
Billy stared at their hands a moment before he looked at Silver's face again. "I knew about Flint, but both of them?"
"I know Gates told you of the lost love that made me abandon my commission and turn pirate, Billy," James said immediately, not giving Silver a chance to answer. Billy looked at James, meeting his gaze as he nodded. "Gates never knew that love I mourned so deeply was a man," James went on, making Billy's eyes widen. "For over ten years I believed Thomas to be dead, killed to protect his family's reputation after his relationship with me became known to his father. I told Silver about him once, wanting him to know how I came to be the man I was then, but I never expected anything to come from it other than letting Silver know me better. Silver had heard rumors of a place disgraced British lords were sometimes sent to live out their lives, though, a plantation in Savannah, and he sent a close friend to search out the place and find out if Thomas was among them. He was, and when we left Skeleton Island, Silver convinced Jack and Anne and their crew to help him take me there and tell the world I had died."
Billy was frowning. "Lady Barlow's lost Thomas? Her husband?"
Thomas flushed slightly, letting go of James and Silver's hands even though he didn't move away.
"Our Thomas, yes," James agreed. "Miranda had adjusted for the most part to life without him before I met you, Billy, but I grieved so hard for Thomas that I couldn't see anything but the fact that the society that took him from me still existed. I lived on rage for what felt like an eternity before Silver began to show me there was still something good left in this world, someone I could fight for instead of just against. I lost Miranda not long after that and then nearly lost Silver to that bastard Jenks, and--" He broke off and hesitated, searching for the words. "Well, I would have gladly watched the world burn at that point if Silver hadn't made me realize it wouldn't help anyone, least of all him or me."
"I was angry at the world for a long time then, too," Silver murmured. "It wasn't all you that fueled our rampage along the Carolina coast."
James turned just enough to look at Silver, smiling. "You ran out of hate long before I did, though."
"I never was very good at holding onto hatred," Silver agreed, giving James' hand a squeeze. "I prefer to hold onto love. It's rather more pleasant to indulge in."
"I agree," James said, smiling as he returned the squeeze.
"So the rumors then were true?" Billy half-asked, frowning as they both looked at him in surprise. "Howell told us that you were sharing a bed, not just the cabin, but I didn't believe it."
"I wasn't so lucky," James said. "I should have known it was Howell that started that, though. He was always checking on Silver at odd hours and trying to get me to use his hammock down with the crew and let him take over." He snorted. "He had to know it wasn't true, though. All the times he barged into my cabin he only found me holding Silver when his fever rose so high he was delirious, and he had to be held down then or he hurt himself worse thrashing around."
"If they had slept together on the ship, the whole crew would have surely known it," Thomas added dryly, making James and Silver both blush suddenly as they looked at him, a bit sheepish. "There are very many things they excel at when they are together but being quiet is not one of them, not in bed at any rate."
Billy stared at Thomas a long moment, then asked quietly, "And you've made Flint share Silver with you, I suppose, like you did with your wife?"
"Our relationship is truly none of your business," Thomas said firmly, "but no. I don't make them do anything, and what we have now is nothing like what James and I had with Miranda. I could not help but fall for Silver once I began to know him, long before we actually met. I may not yet understand him like James does, but I love him dearly."
James looked at Thomas, smiling wryly. "You know him better than I do in some ways, Thomas. You two think very much alike."
Thomas laughed. "And I would have said you and he are very alike."
"We are all three more alike than not," Silver said, amused and fond. He patted James' hip with his free hand, adding, "Get the rest of Billy's weapons so we can all go in the house. I'd like to sit down to talk like civilized folk."
"Since when are you or I civilized?" James asked with a little grin for Silver, but he had already released his hand and was moving towards Billy.
"Since Thomas took on the job of teaching us poor pirates some manners," Silver replied quickly, making Thomas and James both laugh. "Give him another year or two and he'll have us able to pass as gentlemen."
"You could now, John, but James, well... I am not a miracle worker." Thomas reached out to give Silver's hand a squeeze again before he turned and moved into the house to go put away Silver's pistol, pausing to pick up Billy's pistols on his way by them. "I'm going to put the kettle on, I would like a spot of tea while we talk."
Silver said cheerfully, "Of course you would, Thomas."
"You can take a lord out of Britain, but you will never make him forget his love of tea," James added, smirking slightly. He stopped a few steps away from Billy, looking measuringly at him. "Will you disarm yourself, or are you going to make me do it?"
Billy didn't reply, reaching to remove his weapons without a word. He handled each one with just his fingertips, very aware that James was still holding a pistol pointed at his belly. He dropped the sword first and then both of his knives before he held his hands out to the sides. "That's everything. You already took the pistols."
James met Billy's gaze as he said easily, "Love, come hold this a moment."
Silver obediently moved closer to take James' pistol, keeping it pointed at Billy as he said mildly, "If he came to hurt either of us, he would have by now. He watched you leave earlier."
James looked quickly at Silver and then back at Billy, surprised. "Is that so?"
"You walked out to piss off the edge of the bluff, then headed towards the creek," Billy said quietly. "I've been up in one of the trees since before dawn. You passed by me close enough I could hear you muttering about chasing pigs."
Silver laughed. "Did we get one, by the way? I didn't hear a shot."
"There was one in the snare you devised for them, but I used my knife," James replied, bemused. "Thomas will have his barbacoa for dinner, a plump sow just as he wanted."
Silver smirked at James and teased, "You may be barely housebroken, but you are very well trained nonetheless."
James flushed slightly even as he laughed. "At least I don't piss out of the windows anymore like we used to do on the ship."
"And I'm sure Thomas appreciates it," Silver agreed, still smirking. "He seemed rather determined last time he told you that he'd make you regret it if you ever do it again."
"He would, too," James said with a sudden little grin. "Last time I pushed him too far, he made me sleep in the floor for a week."
Billy let out a surprised laugh, making James and Silver both look at him as he asked incredulously, "That... overgrown lordling forced Captain James Flint to sleep in the floor?"
"It's not as if it was particularly difficult for him," James pointed out, a little embarrassed. "There was no force needed. I can't think of anything he might ask of me that I wouldn't do for him."
"You'll understand if you ever truly love someone, Billy," Silver added, amused. "Love makes fools of us all eventually, I promise you."
Billy stared into Silver's eyes for a moment and then looked away. "I suppose it does."
James stepped closer to Billy to pat him down, checking for any hidden weapons as he said more seriously, "You grow used to it. Miranda and I were more friends than lovers after we lost Thomas, but I still loved her dearly. She often made me want to tear out my hair, but after she was gone I still found myself wishing I could hear her lecture me just one more time for not laundering my shirts often enough to suit her."
Billy held his hands a little higher to let James check under the back of his coat easier, looking over James' shoulder at Silver as he said softly, "I know exactly what you mean."
James finished his check and stepped back, meeting Billy's gaze. "You lost whatever chance with him you might once have had. You know that, I hope."
"I figured that out about the time I realized what I wanted," Billy admitted. "I fought against admitting it even to myself a long time, but deep down I think I always knew."
James looked at Billy for a long moment and then said quietly, "You did things we swore couldn't ever be forgiven, Billy, but that was because we both cared so deeply for you, trusted you so much, and it felt like you killed part of us when you killed our crew." Billy flinched, looking away. "Silver and I, we never have had many people we could truly trust." Billy looked at James again, meeting his gaze. "You were top of that list for a long time."
"Next to Anne," Silver added. "And far above Jack or Max."
Billy looked at Silver. "You trusted those three with the Urca gold."
"I trusted you with something far more important to me, Billy," Silver pointed out. "There will always be another Spanish galleon loaded with gold, but some things in life can never be replaced. When you came back to us after Hume captured you I knew you could turn the crew against us. It would have been easy to kill you in the chaos that was happening then and forget I had ever seen you, likely smarter, but instead I trusted you enough to risk James' life on your word."
"We were arguing over that letter when I slipped, but he still nearly fell himself trying to catch me," Billy murmured to Silver. "I didn't lie when I told the crew about that." He looked at James then, adding, "I'll never forget your face. That was the first time I ever really saw you look scared."
"I was," James agreed. "You had been one of my most trusted friends for a long time by then, Billy. I thought we could work through whatever worries Miranda's letter had given you, but then you fell with the Scarborough bearing down on us and the Walrus in no shape to take her on. It was leave you and hope they picked you up, or try to fight and maybe we all died. There were no good choices."
"He's never had another first mate, you know," Silver pointed out, making Billy look at him in surprise and a little confusion. "Quartermasters, yes, but you are the only one he ever called first mate."
Billy looked back at James, staring into his familiar green eyes as he said quietly, "You were the only captain I ever gave my oath to sincerely. I would have died for you, but then things went all wrong. I couldn't stomach how you had changed or how Silver had changed to suit you, and I..." He swallowed hard. "I got so twisted up inside that I broke my oath and did things even you never would have done." He closed his eyes, pained. "I promise you could not hate me more than I hate myself for what I did, though. I see the men die again in my dreams almost every night, those loyal men who looked so relieved when they saw me in that longboat, who thought I was there to save them. Their faces when Rogers ordered me to fire and they realized I was going to kill them for him will haunt me until I die."
"You weren't the only one who killed our crew that day, Billy," James said quietly, reaching out to put his hand on Billy's shoulder without stopping to think about the impulse. "I killed six of our men myself on that cursed island and they were not the first, though I pray they are the last."
Billy opened his eyes to look at James, his blue eyes shining and sad. "How do you live with it?"
"One nightmare at a time," James admitted, letting his hand fall again and taking a step back. "It helps that Silver understands and that what's left of the old crew has forgiven me. I regret a lot about that last year I was Flint, but I'm trying to follow their lead and forgive myself."
"Some of them made it?" Billy asked softly, surprised.
James nodded. "A few of the men managed to get off the other side of the Walrus out of the line of fire. I don't know what happened to Bob or Howard, they disappeared the first time the Quicksilver made port in Nassau, but Paxton, Tyson, and Ben are still on her." He saw that Billy didn't recognize the ship's name and added, "She used to be the Eurydice, before we renamed her and changed her colors. The crews voted I won her in the battle when you went overboard, though I didn't know that for a long time. Paxton and Tyson are captain and mate on my behalf and Ben is quartermaster. They've done well, though they don't run on the account any longer. They've been hauling goods from Nassau up to the Colonies for the last two years for the Rackhams, who give them more business than they know what to do with. Morgan brings us news of them about once a month, and Jack and Anne visit when they can."
Billy was quiet a few moments and then asked, "Which Ben?"
"Gunn," Silver replied before James could. "The one who turned you loose during the Spanish attack." Billy and James both looked at him quickly in surprise, and Silver met Billy's gaze as he went on. "I gave him the key to your shackles when I realized I couldn't get back to you through the fighting. You were good to him and he didn't want the Spanish to get you any more than I did, so he fought past them to set you free."
"I had him in my sights on that cursed island," Billy murmured quietly. "I let him go and shot Rico instead."
"I saw," Silver said. "I thought that was why you switched targets when he turned and you saw his face."
"It wasn't," Billy said softly. "I shot Louis while he was looking at me, but I couldn't do it again after that. Shooting them when I couldn't see their faces made it a little easier not to think about who I was killing." He closed his eyes. "At least until later." He opened his eyes again, looking haunted. "After I made it to shore and was alone with their ghosts, I couldn't think of anything else."
"Anne said you buried the ones who made it off the beach," Silver said quietly, making James look at him in surprise again. "The ones who died in the jungle."
"Who I killed, you mean," James said.
Silver nodded. "Those too except for Dooley, but there were three Billy shot that made it into the jungle before they died," he said quietly. "I sent Carlson and Jacobs into cover with bad wounds and I know they weren't found when the Lion went back for our dead. I'm not sure who the other one was."
"Rutledge," Billy said, pained and sad. "I had no way to take them out to open water and I couldn't just leave them lay, so I buried them near where I found Joji."
James closed his eyes, his head tipping forward as he murmured, "Joji was with me from the start, even before the Walrus. Killing him should have been a lot harder than it was that day, but I didn't really even feel it then."
Silver moved to stand in front of James, resting their foreheads together and lifting his free hand to James' cheek as he murmured, "His death was at least as much my fault as yours." James usually refused to speak at all about the men he killed on Skeleton Island, though Silver thought it long past time for them to discuss what happened that day. "I sent him ahead after you knowing what would happen if you were cornered without me there to talk you down."
James lifted his hands to the sides of Silver's neck but still didn't open his eyes to look at him as he whispered, "The others fought to kill, but Joji pulled back twice when he got the chance to kill me. I saw it, but I still killed him."
"He knew what could happen when he stepped up to go," Silver said gently. "Just like I knew when I chose our most loyal crewmen to help me find you that they would likely die, but it had to be the ones who understood I didn't want you dead, just stopped. We were never going to catch you moving at the pace I could manage so I sent them after you, sure that I'd probably never see them alive again. Hands told me just after they left that I should have killed them myself and saved you the trouble, that no one would leave that island alive that day but you and I."
"He was nearly right," James agreed quietly, finally opening his eyes again. He gazed into Silver's blue eyes, pained and sad. "I only let Hands live because I knew he would watch out for you if you killed me." He let out a strangled little noise that wasn't quite a laugh. "You remind him of his first wife, you know. She had just the same eyes and hair according to him."
Silver let out a soft huff, smiling slightly despite everything. "Grumpy old bastard never told me why he followed me around, he just did it and dared me to argue."
Thomas laughed softly nearby and they pulled apart to look towards the sound in surprise. He was standing in the doorway to the house with a teacup in one hand, looking wry and amused. "You were meant to be moving this inside where Silver can get off his leg, James. The tea's gone cold already."
"It's not bothering me at all, Thomas," Silver said, surprised. "I just wanted to get out of the sun. It's hot today."
"So get in out of the sun," James said firmly, swatting Silver on the arse and making him jump. "Go on." Silver made a face at James and then started towards Thomas without a word, and James smirked slightly. He looked at Billy then, catching his surprised expression as he added more firmly, "You too, Bones. I expect you to stay out of trouble while you're ashore here."
Billy stared at James a moment and then murmured softly, "Yes, Captain. You have my oath on it."
"Aren't you coming in too?" Silver asked then, pausing near Thomas to look back at James.
"I need to go get that damn pig," James replied, amused as he noticed his pistol still dangling from Silver's hand, forgotten.
Billy moved towards the house as Silver laughed and then said cheerfully, "Better you than I. I hate butchering pigs."
"I know, which is why I'm doing it," James agreed, smiling as he started walking towards the trees beyond the side of the house. "I tucked it under a bush in the shade when I saw Thomas climbing out a window, but it still needs skinned and put on the spit soon."
"Yes, it most certainly does," Thomas said quickly, pleased as he stepped aside to let Silver and Billy pass him and go inside. "We can all talk in the kitchen while we get it ready to put on the fire. The breeze is right for it to be cool back there now anyway."
"Works for me," James agreed, glancing back. "Make sure my pistol gets locked away first."
"Of course," Thomas said with an amused smile, watching James move out of sight and then walking into the house to make sure Silver put James' pistol away. He had a feeling it would be a very long day, but if it went well he hoped it might heal emotional wounds that had festered for over two years.
Silver was closing the weapons cabinet when Thomas closed the front door. "Do you have the key, Thomas?"
"Yes, I do," Thomas agreed, digging into the watch pocket of his waistcoat with his free hand as he crossed the room. He offered Silver the key, smiling. "I grabbed it when I took out your pistol and hadn't put it back yet."
"I suspected as much," Silver murmured, stretching up to kiss Thomas lightly before he turned back to the cabinet to lock it, ignoring the way Billy was staring at him. He wasn't going to act differently just because anyone was watching him, not in his own home, and that soft little smile Thomas had given him had fairly begged to be kissed.
Thomas felt his cheeks heat up slightly when Silver kissed him, as always happened when they weren't alone, but he loved that Silver wasn't the least bit ashamed. Thomas had always been a very private man, seldom kissing even Miranda in front of anyone but James, but he loved that James and Silver were both far more open about their feelings. He remembered when James had been a very proper young officer, blushing at just the thought of kissing Thomas or Miranda and quite ashamed of the fact he didn't want women the way society said he was supposed to, and he much preferred the James he knew now.
Thomas and Miranda had both tried many times to convince James that there was no reason for him to feel so much shame, that he shouldn't feel that how he was made was wrong, but they had never succeeded. It had taken ten years of life as a greatly feared but nearly celibate pirate to make James finally realize he didn't care what society thought. It amazed Thomas sometimes now and he was often the one left blushing by it, but he loved that James truly knew no shame for who he loved anymore. Thomas hadn't said as much, wouldn't, but he reveled in it and he was quite sure he knew who was responsible.
Silver turned away from the weapons cabinet, automatically reaching to put the key back on the ledge over the window next to it before he stopped, turning to look at Billy. "Can we trust you, Billy, or should I keep the key?"
"I won't hurt the Captain, John," Billy murmured softly. "I wanted to at one point, but I've..." He trailed off, silent a moment before he smiled slightly, wry and sad. "I've accepted it."
"Accepted what?" Thomas asked, curious.
Billy met Thomas' gaze, his blue eyes calm but a little sad. "That I will never be the one he loves."
"I did love you, Billy," Silver corrected quietly as he turned away, not wanting to see Billy's face as he reached up to put the key in its usual place above the window and added, "Just not the way you wanted." He let his hand fall, looking out the window to watch James walking towards the back of the house with a pig slung over one shoulder. "I loved him long before I realized it." He smiled wryly, turning back around to meet Billy's gaze. "You knew how I felt about him, but I had no clue. It nearly drove me insane that I would do anything for him even if it involved risking my own neck. I don't know how many times I ended up muttering to myself in my head about how very stupid it was for me to stay with him, to fight for him, but it was often. It seemed like every time I turned around I had to risk my neck to save his, but even when I wanted to kill him myself I couldn't bear the thought of him being hurt, as stupid as that is."
Billy smiled crookedly. "I had more than one argument with my instincts over him myself, now that you mention it."
"It's hard not to be as loyal to him as he is to us," Silver said, smiling a little wider. "He would have gladly died to protect either of us even while we were actively arguing with him, Billy. You know it as well as I do."
"I do," Billy agreed. "He killed to protect me twice even after I turned on him and wanted him dead."
"It seems like quite a lot of people who knew Flint wanted him dead," Thomas said dryly, making Silver laugh as he and Billy both looked at him. Thomas smiled at Billy, adding gently, "Flint is dead now, Billy. All that's left is James, and he's not the same man at all."
"He is, though," Billy said quietly. "You may not see it, you didn't know him when he was Flint, but I did. All the best parts of him, the things that made his crew so fiercely loyal to him for so long, they're still there."
"It was always James we loved, Billy," Silver said, starting towards the hallway. He grabbed Thomas' hand when he reached him, tugging Thomas along with him as he added, "Some of us on the crew saw him much more often than the others, but we all felt it. Flint terrified us, but everyone loved James." He glanced over his shoulder as they walked towards the kitchen, not surprised Billy was right behind them, then looked ahead again as he added, "And now there's only James."
Billy snorted. "The way he looked at me when he thought I might hurt you says you're fooling yourself, John. Flint's never going to be gone, just hidden."
Silver let go of Thomas when they reached the kitchen, where they could see James had hung the pig from one of the rafters of the wide overhang just outside the kitchen door. Thomas moved away towards the sink to get a bucket as Silver walked to sit at the big kitchen table that James had built himself, flopping down into his usual chair. The table was simple but very well made, the wood sanded almost smooth and oiled so that it shone, and Silver absently swirled the fingertips of one hand against it as he looked at James a moment, enjoying the texture of the wood under his fingers as he watched James start to skillfully slice the hide away from the meat of the pig.
Silver looked back at Billy after a moment, smiling. "No, that was just James. There's not an ounce of cruelty left in him, Billy, I promise you, but he will never stop being the kind of man who fights for the people he loves. Neither will I, for that matter, or Thomas." He smiled wider. "Or you, I'd wager."
Billy stared at Silver for a few moments, ignoring Thomas as he walked outside with an empty bucket. Billy finally sat down in one of the other chairs, settling comfortably before he said very softly, "I would."
Silver nodded, his smile fading into seriousness. "War truly is hell, Billy, and we all went a little crazy then. We did things no sane man would, no good man would, because we were all so torn up inside that we wanted to tear other people up to match. Then I wanted you dead to pay for what you had done, I even sent Anne and Jack to see to it, but life has gone on and I've remembered something very important over the last two years."
Billy waited for Silver to go on, but Silver just sat there looking at him until Billy asked, "Which is?"
"Life is precious," Silver replied simply. "I would rather have a live friend than a dead enemy."
"We all would," James added, making Billy look towards him. He wasn't watching Silver or Billy, still methodically skinning the sow, but he could hear them easily and he hadn't been able to resist joining their conversation. "If I can be forgiven for all I did, Billy, all I tried to do, anyone can." He looked at Billy past the carcass of the pig. "I can forgive you, knowing what pushed you over the edge. Can you forgive me?"
Billy met James' gaze as he said quietly, "I forgave you a long time ago, Captain."
"I'm no one's captain anymore, Billy," James said, smiling as he looked back at the pig. "My name is James."
"You will be my captain until the day I die," Silver disagreed, making James laugh and look at him. He smirked at James, adding, "Deal with it... Captain."
Billy grinned. "What he said."
James just looked at them both for a few moments, amused and wry as he tried to find the words he could say to change their minds, and then Thomas put a hand low on his back, making him turn his head in surprise to see Thomas smiling at him.
"Don't argue with them, James," Thomas said firmly, "or I'll send word to Anne that you need a reminder again."
James laughed, he couldn't help it. He had told Tyson that he was no one's captain once while Anne happened to be close enough to hear. She had given him holy Hell for it, lecturing him and giving him several fairly strong punches to the ribs. Anne had told him repeatedly that he didn't get to choose who another man gave his loyalty to but he damn sure better honor it when it was him, and he finally had given in and apologized.
Silver laughed too, remembering when Anne had beaten James into submission for Tyson, sure from James' expression he was thinking about the same thing. "You had better listen to your captain and stop arguing, James. You know he doesn't make idle threats and the Lion is due for a visit soon anyway."
James laughed slightly again and went back to work with his knife as he said, "I'm not arguing with anyone. I'm just trying to skin a pig."
"Smart man," Thomas said, smirking as he patted James' arse and continued back into the kitchen with the bucket of water.
Silver grinned widely, and when Billy looked at him a moment later he said cheerfully, "Thomas is the captain's captain."
"Wouldn't that make him an admiral?" Billy asked, amused even though he was still surprised that James had so quickly and easily let Thomas have his way.
"Admirals are a decidedly annoying lot," Thomas said with a laugh. "I'm far too disrespectable to ever become one."
Silver gave Thomas an amused look, then looked back at Billy. "Pirates don't have admirals, Billy."
"You gave up life on the account," Billy pointed out, surprised and amused.
Silver settled more comfortably back in his chair, folding his hands against his belly as he grinned at Billy, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "Being a pirate's not about the sailing, Billy. It's about something down deep in the soul that makes one smirk and say 'fuck you' to the world when it tries to change you."
Thomas laughed again as James grinned and said, "Damn right, baby."
Billy smiled wryly, amused. "I know a lot of pirates, then."
"Of course you do, Billy," Silver said cheerfully, still grinning. "You are a pirate."
Billy laughed, he couldn't help it.
~ End