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Soft feathers whispered over Shiro’s cheek, their down a caress over the sharp crest of bone that he refused to acknowledge was slick with tears. His eyes were shut to the plumes of his wing, biting his teeth into his bottom lip in order to feel anything other than the deep ache that had eaten deep into his right shoulder blade. Once, both his wings had been pure white, glowing with their celestial magic that wove traces of gold through their vanes. He remembered how the higher angels used to whisper about how his wings were unlike any they’d seen.
He’s truly been touched by the Light, they’d say behind cupped hands and through clenched teeth. When he was younger, he’d never understood the way their voices hissed and twisted, only hearing the words they said. It wasn’t until he was a teenager that he began to hear the jealousy that turned the sentiments sour. Envious disdain glinted in their eyes as they dragged their gazes over the wings that had been as white as the snow they were used to conjure.
There was only one gaze he ever found solace in, its crushed velvet orbs sparkling with swirling galaxies that lit up whenever they looked at him. That gaze never hid anything behind masks of false kindnesses, only ever offering open honesty in the form of awe.
When Shiro had met the purple eyed boy named Keith, they had just been five years old. The former had grown up at the monastery, while the latter had just been brought by the high angels with nothing but a chip on his shoulder and a temper most said befitted a demon. At the time, he hadn’t been sure as to why he’d wanted to pursue friendship with the dark haired cherub that glared at anyone that dared come too close. Mostly, he thought he felt bad for the new angel who was nothing but large mauve eyes, fluffy grey wings and an angry pout.
Everyone needs a friend, was his reasoning when he’d asked Keith if he wanted to play with him, offering a soft hand and a carved wooden toy. It hadn’t been until much later that Shiro realized the thing that had pulled him towards Keith was their shared predicaments. Black sheep recognized black sheep when they were amongst a herd of white. No one knew why he was the only person Keith let in, but they remained inseparable after that, and hey quickly fell into a friendship so close that they became referred to as a paired set.
Shiro and Keith.
Keith and Shiro.
Shiro’s kindness helped Keith open up, finally allowing himself to accept someone into his life without fear that they would leave while Keith’s temperamental personality acted as a shield against the jealous eyes that would rake over Shiro’s wings.
Don’t listen to them, Keith would growl as a group would walk by, shooting his own acid filled glare at them as he wrapped a protective arm around Shiro’s shoulders as if he could keep their undeserving gazes away with his body. His own wings were a muted grey, the same color of the sky after a rainstorm.
The color of your eyes, Keith had once laughed as he’d tapped a finger on the tip of Shiro’s nose.
Keith was everything Shiro wasn’t. Dark where he was light; lean where he was thick; angry where he’d been kind. Where the other angels had looked at Shiro with envy, they’d looked at Keith with disdain, making both outcasts of their own kind. It proved to be a blessing, as the duo was left to naturally pair together when they were old enough to finally go out for the Snow Fall. Each year the angels of the monastery flew through the skies on Christmas Eve to conjure the Christmas snow that the humans would wake up to. That first Snow Fall only proved their combined talents for the magic that filled the air with the crystal flurries. It was said by the high angels that that year had been the most successful they’d had in years.
They’d celebrated with their first kiss that tasted of triumph and sweet snow, ignoring how it had only narrowed the eyes of their fellow angels that had already envied them.
Sighing deeply against the memory, Shiro clenched his already closed eyelids as if dropping further into their darkness would push away the phantom glares and once pristine wings.
If he opened his eyes now, he’d be met by the shocking white of his left wing, and the now synthetic inky black of his right. It looked as unnatural as it felt, and the bone it was anchored to with pins and screws always ached with the hollowness of the loss of its natural wing. The darkness of the artificial feathers that taunted him at the edge of his vision was a constant reminder of the accident he only wished to forget.
He could hear the way the sky had screamed almost as if it was still howling in his ears. It was a sound that haunted his dreams, filled with so much rage and envy it had turned the calm snowfall of the Christmas Eve into a blizzard. His only thought at the time had been to wrap his arms around Keith to protect him from the stabbing shards of ice that were slicing into their skin. He’d thrown every ounce of his power into a prayer that would protect the man in his arms, only stopping when the knife like stab of pain had torn through the muscle of his back as the vicious wind and ice ripped him apart. Keith’s voice screaming his name had been the last thing he’d remembered as they’d hurtled down to the ground below.
When he’d woken, he’d been met with red rimmed eyes and a crushing hug. Keith had explained that one of the angels had been overtaken by his jealousy, losing control of his power and throwing the anger he’d felt into a storm that had torn his wing from his shoulder blades.
He got what he deserved, Keith had said, pushing his words through thick anger and teeth. Not that it had mattered. Even though he’d received his punishment, he’d already done his damage. Now Shiro was left with an obsidian reminder that lurked behind him like a cursed shadow.
That had been three years ago, and though he had completed the physical therapy and was allowed to fly again, he still couldn’t go out for the Snow Fall.
Not just couldn’t, but wouldn’t.
Though the prosthetic felt every bit as natural as the wing before it, it was artificial and no longer held the power to create the flurries he’d so loved to make. The realization of it had cut him deeper than the wound, and every year on Christmas Eve, he felt the deep longing to take to the sky and create the flakes that would fill the humans with joy. It was the kind of ache that settled deep within bones as if the very marrow within them were trying to peel them apart from the inside out.
The soft sound of the door to his and Keith’s room broke him of his self pitying reverie, drawing his attention instead to the soft padding of feet against marble before the bed dipped with a new weight. Warmth heated his skin as he felt his lover carefully work his way between the wings that had shrouded him, stopping only once he too was encapsulated within their soft feathers. Breath tickled over his collarbone, Keith not even saying anything at all as he wrapped an arm around Shiro’s waist and pulled himself closer. The scent of sandalwood and lavender filled his senses, momentarily pushing back all else as he got lost in everything Keith was.
“Aren’t you supposed to be out with the others?” His muttered into the crown of his best friend’s hair, eyes still shut to the outside world. Each year, Keith had said he’d stay behind with Shiro and every year he insisted Keith go. They both didn’t need to miss out on the Snow Fall. His companion nuzzled his nose against the sharp crest of his collar before his lips ghosted against his skin, igniting a line of fire under their touch.
“Something more important came up,” Keith said, his tone nonchalant as he continued to pepper kisses over Shiro’s skin.
“More important than the Snow Fall?” He deadpanned, fighting against the swelling in his chest that was filling the space between them with electricity. The question earned him a low hum that vibrated through the air of their feathered cocoon.
“Much more important.” Soft pressure at the base of his throat made Shiro bite back a groan, head spinning as he tried to remember how to speak. It was wrong for Keith to still be there, sitting on the sidelines because he could no longer participate. It wasn’t fair to him, no matter how much he enjoyed the feeling of his body pressed against his own.
“Keith, I told you not to worry about me. I’m fine.” The lie was sour on the tip of his tongue. After having said it so often, he would have thought he’d at least become accustomed to the taste. Keith’s sigh rolled like a wave over his pulse. Quiet fell over them, filled with nothing but their breathing as they both waited for his response.
“Go on a flight with me,” he finally said. The words were so sudden, so unexpected that Shiro felt himself tense in the half halo of Keith’s arm. His palm flattened against his lower back as if it meant to steady him.
“I’m not—” He started, not even sure what he had been about to say before Keith cut him off.
“You haven’t flown with me since,” his voice faltered, fumbling over the hushed words. Taking a breath, he started again. “You haven’t flown with me since it happened.” Time slowed, stretching over the darkened room as they lay in silence.
“Please, Takashi.” Only Keith used his true name, whispering it into darkness as his fingers clutched their sheets and during moments of complete vulnerability. The sound of it on his lips was Shiro’s favorite melody, the hard beginning fading into a soft ending as if it was filled with silk and cashmere. When he said it, Shiro knew he wouldn’t be able to deny him anything.
Pulling his wings inward and against his back, exposing their bodies to the cooler air of the room, he finally opened his eyes and turned his smoke gaze onto the man pressed into his chest. An amethyst galaxy lay before him, inviting and wanting and suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to get lost amongst the stars.
“Alright,” he heard himself breathe. “Let’s go for a flight.”
***
The halls of the monastery were eerily quiet, the angels that normally roamed them all absent as they’d gone out for Snow Fall. Normally Keith would appreciate the silence and lack of others to interact with, but now the weight of the quiet was unsettling as he led Shiro through the marbled halls towards the stairs that would take them up to the roof. Christmas Eve had been hard ever since the accident. Shiro had tried to hide the cracks that formed in his armor each year as the date drew near, masking it behind false niceties and well wishes for the others Snow Fall. It may have worked on everyone else, but Keith wasn’t just anyone else, and he could see the muted silver of his eyes and the way the corners of his mouth just barely pulled down. Every year for the past three, he’d humored his best friend, still going out to conjure the snow that would bring so many happiness. But it was hard to try and create happiness for others when the source of his own had been left behind to rip himself apart.
He hadn’t actually known what exactly he had planned to do until the words had left his mouth, startling them both.
Go on a flight with me.
It was such a simple request, one that should normally have been easy to grant. Before losing his wing, Shiro and Keith hardly spent any time out of the skies. It was peaceful up there away from everyone else and their envious gazes; away from their angelic duties; away from everything that wasn’t them and the clouds.
Since the accident, Shiro had grounded himself, only flying at the request of the doctors that had repaired the torn wing and only for the minimum amount of time. Keith knew enough about the prognosis to know that his best friend had very little chance of conjuring snow again, but there was no reason for him to lose both things he’d loved.
Chilled air swirled around them as he pushed the door to the roof open, holding it wide for his companion before he let it fall back shut. Before them stretched a quartz rooftop and above them the jeweled darkness of the open sky. It was the kind of night they used to spend flying as high as they could in an attempt to see if they could catch a star.
“It’s a nice night,” Shiro said, voice cautiously void of the many emotions flitting through the storm hue of his eyes.
Pain.
Worry.
Fear.
Longing.
The final emotion screamed the loudest, the iridescent shimmer of his desire to be in the sky overwhelming all else. Keith’s hand found his as he laced their fingers together and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s the perfect night for a flight,” he said with a smile. Carefully unfurling his own wings, Keith slowly began to beat them, their span pushing the air around them in a tepid whirlwind that blew the strands of Shiro’s white bangs over the bridge of his nose. A small smile tugged at the corner of his companion’s mouth as the velvet air danced over his skin.
“Are you ready?” Keith asked, his feet already pulling away from the ground as he started to rise into the air with the lazy beats of his wings. The fingers within his grasp gave a small pulse of acknowledgement before they slipped from his as he rose too high above Shiro to maintain his hold. A small resigned sigh was the only answer Keith received before he watched as his best friend unfurled his wings.
His ascent was shaky, cream and onyx beating around him as Shiro made his way into the star flecked sky. Keith watched him with a softness around his eyes, coasting in the air above and waiting for his lover to reach the same altitude. A chill began to pick up in the air, running goosebumps over his skin with a fusion cold and thrill.
The loss of his wing had caused Shiro to become withdrawn, folding in on himself like a flower that had been starved of the sun. Though he’d never explicitly said it, Keith knew the loss had weighed heavy on him. When the storm had ripped away his right wing, it had taken his pride with it and left him a halved individual. It was crueler than if he’d lost them both, the one a constant reminder of what had been. Even though years had passed, Keith still heard the whispers that drawled around them as the other angels walked by with shaking heads. It took everything he had to keep his fury locked behind just a glare. They’d always envied him for his wings and now that one was gone they tried to pretend they didn’t harbor a small flame of satisfaction deep within their supposedly pure hearts that Shiro no longer held the Light’s favor.
Gaze flickering over his companion as he rose in the air, he couldn’t help but scoff as the thought. They were fools to think he had lost any of the beauty and benevolence that encompassed everything Shiro was when his wing had been taken. The way the starlight glowed against his lily petal skin was proof enough of that. Air stilled in his chest as a silver gaze flickered upwards to meet his amethyst one through the stark white of Shiro’s bangs. He’d known him almost his entire life and yet his best friend never ceased to steal the breath directly from his lungs.
“You alright?” He asked, voice pitched low as if speaking too loudly would break the spell that had been cast over the star filled sky. A soft sheen of sweat slicked his companion’s forehead with the exertion. It didn’t stop the smile that crinkled the corners of the storm filled eyes.
“I’ll live,” Shiro replied, voice a shade close to breathless. His eyes roamed from Keith’s face as he looked upwards to the constellations that stretched out above them, a serene silence settling over them as he took it in. “I forgot how beautiful it was up here.”
Keith couldn’t stop himself from brushing the pads of his fingers up the long line of his best friend’s jaw, stopping only once they reached the shaved edge of hair behind his ear. Heat filled his palm as Shiro leveled his head to push his cheek into the touch. Flame licked steel warmed the skin over Keith’s cheeks.
“You belong in the sky, Shiro.” Up against the backdrop of black, with stars in his hair and Polaris shining down on him, he truly looked every bit the snow angel he was born to be. Maybe the others couldn’t stand to see him there, but the only one of them that truly belonged in the celestial skies, was Shiro.
As electricity and heat started to crackle in the space between them, the same way it always had, a single snow flurry dropped onto the back of Keith’s hand.
Melting into his skin, another sparkling flake fell onto his hand, followed promptly by another. They were large and fluffy, glimmering as they danced around them as if welcoming old friends. White crystals buried themselves in Shiro’s hair, dotting it with shimmering diamonds before they melted away. In their wake they left a long forgotten gleam in the gray of his eyes as his companion’s smile stretched further over his lips. Snow continued to fall around them, accumulating on the roof below and creating a thick blanket of white. It was the kind of snow most angels only dreamed of creating. The kind that filled the air with joyous squeals as people woke on Christmas morning to see the wonderland that welcomed them.
It was the kind of ethereal, near supernatural, snowfall that was filled with so much love it could melt even the hardest of hearts.
Keith and Shiro both watched the way the flurries flirted across the sky in silent awe. It was the latter that finally broke the quiet, voice thick with emotion.
“Thank you.” Moisture glinted over the soft grey stare as he pulled Keith into his chest. Soft lips pressed into the waves just above his ear as he whispered his thanks over and over. Wrapping his arms around Shiro’s waist and fisting his hands into the fabric of his shirt, Keith nuzzled his nose into the skin at his neck as he pressed a kiss to the collarbone that peeked over its hem. His smile tickled against the skin.
“I didn’t do this, Shiro.” He pulled back enough so he could look up at his best friend, grin filled with stars and eyes dancing with mirth. A beat passed as he let Keith’s words settle over him, expression flickering comically between confusion, thought and finally, pure unadulterated joy.
Keith knew if he could drag his eyes away from the glowing man before him long enough to look at the wings that kept him in the air, he’d see the way snow twisted and glistened over the feathers. He’d see the silver that ran through the vanes, tinging them with the metallic shine of frost. Lips crushing against his own stole his chance to look as Shiro closed the space between them. It tasted of sweet mint and the Christmas chill as Keith parted his lips to inhale his companion like smoke. His tongue licking behind his teeth dragged a moan from deep in Keith’s throat that Shiro captured in his mouth as they pushed into each other. Keith sunk his teeth into the fullness of his lover’s bottom lip, pulling it ever so slightly as he leant away from the contact, mouth kissed pink and laughter on his tongue.
“Blessed be thy snow,” Keith said, his voice breathless as he spoke the prayer. Shiro brushed his nose against Keith’s as he dropped his forehead against his.
“May the Light shine upon you,” Shiro finished the words with a smile.
The snow continued to fall around them as they embraced, lost in each other and the sparkling flurries of Shiro’s Christmas miracle.
*