Work Text:
Theo didn’t remember much of his life before the Dread Doctors, it was like all the images related to that time were blurry on his mind. He knew that he had had good times with his family in his childhood, he knew that he had played with his sister when they were kids, he knew that he had had meals with his parents and he knew that he had opened presents on Christmas morning. He knew it had happened, but he couldn’t remember it; he couldn’t remember his mother’s perfume or his father’s voice, he couldn’t remember Tara’s smile or the toys they played with, he couldn’t remember the kitchen or the taste of the food his mother made, and he couldn’t remember the Christmas tree, the laughter or the gifts he had gotten.
He didn’t really know if he wanted to remember all that anyway, it would surely make everything hurt more and the guilt suffocates him even more.
But sometimes the thought crossed his head, questions swirling around, a desire to know what everything had felt like. During his years with the Dread Doctors Theo often found himself wondering, thinking about the time that had passed and he had lost forever. He didn’t regret his decision, he wanted the power that the Dread Doctors had promised, but that didn’t mean that his mind didn’t fill with things he didn’t really want to think about.
However, things were different now. Theo wasn’t with the Dread doctors anymore in the sewers of whatever city they had chosen, for the time being, he was alone somewhere else.
It was the first Christmas after the war had ended, things had changed and, by some sort of Christmas miracle, there weren’t any big bad creatures in Beacon Hills. People were on the streets staring at the colorful lights, shopping for gifts and having a good time; seeing them whenever he left his small apartment made Theo feel lonely, unwanted “what ifs” appearing in his head just like when he was with the Doctors.
His apartment was the complete opposite of the town. While the town was colourful, his apartment was white, while the town was full of lights, his apartment was bare, while the town was full of people, his apartment was empty, while the town was full of voices and laughter, the only thing heard in his apartment was silence and his hunted thoughts.
Or at least, it had been like that until Liam decided to change it.
______________
Theo and Liam had gotten closer after the war and everything that had happened with it, they started hanging out together, talking, playing video games or watching movies. One could say they were friends, kind of, maybe.
It had started on the 3rd of December, the first Sunday of the month, it was 10 a.m. when Liam appeared at Theo’s door, he was wearing a big coat and there was a beanie covering his hair, his nose was red and he looked cold, but when Theo raised an eyebrow in question his smile was bright and warm.
Liam took his coat off when Theo let him get inside and shut the door behind him. They moved to the living room, or the small space where there were a couch and a television, and sat down. Theo was aware of Liam’s eyes roaming his apartment, he saw the thoughtful expression on the other boy’s face and sighed, he didn’t know what was going through the other’s mind, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.
“What is it, Liam?”
“It’s just… You don’t have any Christmas ornaments.”
Theo looked around the room, at his bare, white walls, not really knowing how to explain all his consuming, confusing, contrasting thoughts about Christmas.
“I- I’m not really into Christmas,” he finally said, hoping it would be enough to satisfy Liam.
Liam looked at him, eyes searching and attentive, he knew that there was more to the subject, he could see the hidden things inside Theo's eyes, but he also knew that Theo wouldn’t talk about it, at least not now, so he wouldn’t pry. He would try to change Theo’s mind, though.
“I’m going to help you change that.”
“What?”
“I’m going to make you like Christmas.”
_____________
After that day, Liam did everything he could to stick to his promise. He was determined to make Theo see this time of the year in a different way, he was determined to make Theo see it as a happy time.
Liam started with Theo’s apartment.
They went into town the day after the promise was made, it was a Monday morning so there weren’t many people in the streets, they could walk without bumping into anyone and they could shop without having to stand in an infinite line to pay. Liam was glad for that, he was sure that it wouldn’t be good for his plan if there were more people.
They started by buying a fake Christmas tree.
Theo had been reluctant about it at first, saying that he wouldn’t want to clean the fake needles when they fell onto his floor; but Liam had convinced him, stating that the Christmas tree was one of the most important things when it came to Christmas, it was a tradition and Theo wasn’t allowed to say no to it. Theo had sighed but eventually agreed to buy the tree.
After the tree, Liam dragged him into a store that had Christmas ornaments. They had agreed on something simple, Theo didn’t want to have his apartment full of colour or looking like Santa’s house, so they only had bought some colourful lights and red and gold coloured balls for the tree - Liam had looked wistfully at the green balls, saying that they were pretty, but Theo had refused to put green balls on green tree.
Theo got bored of shopping after that, so they had returned to his apartment.
They turned on the heater once they got there and put the Christmas tree together, decorating it right after. Liam was still bitter about not getting the green ornaments, but Theo just kept looking at him with narrowed eyes every time he mentioned them, so he eventually dropped the subject, not without a pout on his face that Theo didn’t fail to tease him about, though.
__________________
Liam didn’t appear on his doorstep with more Christmas-y things to do for a few days. They did hang out, but it was just like what they did before December had started, mainly staying inside and playing video games. Theo was thankful for that. He didn’t want to be completely overwhelmed by Christmas things, he wasn’t used to them, so he didn’t want them to become a really big thing that he wouldn’t be able to deal with. Liam seemed to understand that without Theo having to tell him and Theo had never been more grateful for Liam Dunbar.
The next thing they did for Liam’s “Get Theo into the Christmas spirit plan”, as he had eventually started calling it, wasn’t actually very Christmas-y if one asked Theo, but he went along with it.
They had gone into town on Saturday morning, the streets busy and full of people unlike they had been on Monday. Theo had sharply told Liam that “if you think for a second that I’m going to walk around and happily be shoved by all these people, you have a big surprise coming”, but Liam had just shaken his head with a laugh and grabbed Theo’s hand, pulling him into a comfy looking café.
They sat at a table near the window, where they could look at the people passing by, Liam had said. They ordered a hot drink and something to eat and sat in silence for a little while, up until Liam started talking and dragged him into a game.
They observed the people who were passing outside the café, trying to guess their story, what they were doing in town on a Saturday morning, where they were going.
They watched the woman who was walking her dog, Liam had said that she was going to buy him a new toy as a Christmas present because she didn’t have kids and the dog was her family.
They watched two teenage girls leaving a store with an obscene amount of bags on their hands, Theo had guessed that they had bought things for themselves and would put them under the Christmas tree just to act like they had a lot of gifts to open.
They watched a man and who they assumed was his son enter a jewelry store with slightly panicked expressions, Liam had laughed and said that the man had forgotten to get a present for his wife and had dragged the kid with him to get her one.
They had watched a young couple walking with their hands clasped together and no bags with them, Theo had said that they didn’t come into town to buy presents but to just walk and enjoy the nice morning, although he couldn’t possibly imagine how someone would want to walk around while bumping into people everywhere.
The game went on like that for as long as their drinks and food lasted, when they finished, they left the café and returned to Theo’s apartment where they sat on the couch watching whatever came on on the tv.
“Why was this game part of your Christmas plan?” Theo asked after a moment.
Liam shrugged.
“We had fun while drinking a hot drink inside a warm café, we made up stories related to Christmas. I don’t know, you tell me why it was part of the plan.”
There was a grin on Liam’s face and Theo shook his head fondly, not being able to stop himself from grinning, too.
__________________
On Wednesday it had snowed.
Liam appeared at his door wearing a thick coat, a beanie and gloves like on the day all this Christmas madness had started, his smile was as wide and contrasting with the weather outside as it had been that day, too.
He had made Theo put some warm clothes on and when he was done and had pushed him out the door, closing it behind him and smiling at the annoyed scowl on Theo’s face.
Once outside, Liam didn’t hesitate before throwing snow at Theo’s face, laughing when Theo yelped in surprise. Theo glared at him but didn’t even think before doing the same, bending down to get some snow and throwing it in Liam’s direction while the other boy was too busy laughing to see it coming.
The snow fight went on for some time, they threw at each other between laughter and smiles, wetting their clothes and cooling their skin. And Theo had fun, he enjoyed the silly fight, he enjoyed running around hiding behind trees while throwing snow at Liam, he enjoyed every bit of snow that touched his skin and he enjoyed every smile and every laugh that Liam let out.
Back in his apartment, after taking a warm shower and letting Liam take one too, lending him some of his clothes, they sat on the couch, tired but with smiles still on their faces and Theo was surprised to see that he was excited for whatever Christmas activity Liam would suggest next.
__________________
On December 19th, Liam burst through Theo’s door and into his apartment as soon as the door was opened, without even saying ‘hello’.
Theo watched confused as Liam went into the kitchen, usually, Liam went into the living room and they watched something or played something before engaging in their Christmas activities. When he heard the noises of his kitchen utensils being used, he closed the door as fast as he could and almost tripped in his rush to get to there before Liam could do some damage.
When Theo entered the kitchen he was surprised to see a bunch of kitchen utensils he had never seen in his life laid on top of his table. Seeing his surprise, Liam smiled and told Theo that they would spend the day baking. Theo had never thought that he would ever see in his kitchen half of the things Liam had brought with him, but there was everything they needed to make Christmas cookies and Liam had a wide smile on his face, so Theo just shrugged and asked him where to start.
While cooking, Liam was afraid that he would do something wrong and the first cookies Theo baked wouldn’t be edible, and Theo just genuinely didn’t know what to do, so they had carefully followed the recipe, counting the eggs twice and measuring everything three times before mixing.
They had had a good time, conversation flowing calmly and naturally, the faint noise from the television that was still turned on in the background a constant to cover the silence when they were too preoccupied with what they were doing to talk to each other.
Liam had put the cookies in the oven and, after that, it had been like the snow fight all over again. Theo didn’t even remember how it had started, he just remembers that suddenly both of them were covered in white flour from head to toe, looking as ridiculous as ever, but laughing and smiling like Theo hadn’t ever done, or couldn’t remember ever doing.
Theo had never baked cookies, at least he didn’t remember ever doing it, but he wouldn’t mind doing it again, all of it, the cookies and the flour fight, as long as it was with Liam.
________________
Christmas was almost knocking on the door. It was December 22nd and Theo woke up in the late morning with a weight on top of him. Liam had fallen asleep while watching a Christmas movie, yet another activity they had been doing for the last few weeks, and Theo had barely had time to turn the tv off before sleep took over him, too.
He grunted but didn’t move too much because Liam was warm and asleep on top of him and it was something he didn’t want to disturb. He stayed like that for almost half an hour, until Liam started stirring and waking up, despite his left arm falling asleep and his legs asking to be stretched.
They had breakfast together and they didn’t talk about the position they had woke up in, but Liam had blushed and Theo hadn’t been able to keep his smile hidden, so maybe they really didn’t need to talk about it, maybe they already knew.
Liam had spent that Friday in his apartment.
After lunch, Liam had put some Christmas songs on and they had danced around the kitchen. At first, it had been the two of them acting silly and trying to show the other that they could be a better dancer, but then a slow song came on and the dancing suddenly stopped.
Theo doesn’t know who moved first, the only thing he knows is that slowly there isn’t any space between them, their chests are touching, hands carefully touching skin, eyes glued together.
They danced to the song, Theo’s arms around Liam’s torso holding him close and Liam’s arms around Theo’s waist as if he never wanted to let go, hearts beating as one and skin tingling.
And maybe Liam really didn’t want to let go, Theo thought, because after all, he didn’t want to let go either, he didn’t want the song to finish and the moment to be lost forever, and the idea that Liam felt the same way didn’t seem stupid at all.
___________________
Christmas Eve found Theo Raeken sitting at a table with Liam Dunbar, his mother and his step-father inside the beta’s house. It was different from all the meals he had alone, different even from the occasional ones he shares with Liam, a nice different, but different nonetheless.
Liam hadn’t wanted him to be alone on Christmas Eve. “I won’t let you spend Christmas Eve alone after all the things we did leading up to this day.” Liam had told him that with such a determined face Theo knew it would be impossible to convince him otherwise.
He had been reluctant, afraid that he was interrupting family time and not really knowing if he wanted to meet Liam’s parents, not knowing what to do in a situation like that, so completely new to him, but Liam had been showing him how to deal with new situations the whole month and so it didn’t seem as frightening as it once would have.
Liam’s parents hadn’t been overwhelming, they had talked to Theo normally, they had asked some easy questions and they had shared jokes and funny stories. All in all, it had been a nice night, different from what he is used to and something he wouldn’t like to deal with every day, but nice.
Sitting with them at the dinner table and later on the couch, Theo felt the warmth of having someone there for him, felt the warmth of a home, and when Liam hugged him and kissed his cheek, a quiet “I’m proud of you” whispered in his ear, Theo felt the warmth soak him even more, warming him to the bones and melting his heart.
______________
When Theo woke up on Christmas day it was to sound of his front door opening, he would have panicked if he hadn't recognized the sweet smell and the familiar thumping of the intruder’s heart. It occurred to him that maybe he shouldn't have given Liam a key to his apartment when he got tired of having to get up from his comfortable couch and away from his warm blankets, but those thoughts were wiped away as soon as a cold body slid into his bed begging to be warmed up.
Theo woke up a second time late in the morning. There was an arm thrown over his waist, warm breath on the back of his neck and a comforting vibe in the room, he didn't think he had ever been more comfortable and the last thing he wanted was to get up.
So he didn’t. He slowly turned around in Liam’s arms so that he could look at the boy, a smile appearing on his face when he saw Liam’s eyes blinking open, blue shining softly in the faint light.
“Morning,” Liam said, burying his face on Theo’s chest.
Theo chuckled.
“Good morning, sleep well?”
“Yeah, your bed is comfy,” Liam’s voice was muffled by Theo’s shirt. “And you’re warm,” he snuggled closer, hugging him tighter.
“Didn’t think you could look more like a puppy than you usually do, but here you are proving me wrong.”
“Shut up.”
They stayed in silence for some time, Liam almost falling asleep again. He would have fallen asleep if it weren’t for Theo’s voice making him open his eyes and listen.
“Didn’t you have plans with the pack today?”
“Yeah, they wanted to spend Christmas day as a pack, Scott said he had asked you too.”
“He did, but I didn’t feel like going.”
The expression on Liam’s face told him that the boy already knew, that he could read Theo better than he thought and that he didn’t need to explain himself to him.
“So, what are you doing here, Liam?”
“I didn’t want you to spend your first real Christmas alone and I knew that being with the whole pack would be too overwhelming for you, so I decided that it’s better if we spend the day alone, just the two of us.”
Theo looked at him with surprise clear on his face, like he couldn’t exactly believe that Liam would give up on a day with the pack just to spend the day with him, but Liam was smiling at him, sleepy eyes and warm smile and his apartment had never felt more like home.
He pressed his lips to Liam’s forehead, a soft thank you without words and together they went back to sleep even though it was late.
____________________
Theo’s life before the Dread Doctors is blurry in his mind, he doesn’t remember most of it and he knows that he never will.
Life before the Dread Doctors and life with the Dread Doctors is Theo’s past and he will never go back to it, the memories are the only thing he has, and those are in such a small amount that it’s like they never even happened. Like it’s someone else’s life.
Maybe it is someone else’s life. Because Theo changed, he’s not the same now and he is trying to make up for all the mistakes he made in his past, in those other lives.
And maybe he doesn’t remember any Christmas before Liam, but that doesn’t matter because he is making different memories, important memories that he will never let go of and that is the only thing that matters right now.