Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the beginning, humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. As always, humans became greedy because of their great strength, and threatened to conquer the gods. At first, the gods had originally wanted to destroy the human race for its audacity, but they reconsidered. If they annihilated humanity, they’d lose their worshippers and all offerings they received from humans.

Their solution was to weaken the human race by splitting them in half as punishment for humanity's pride and doubling the number of humans who would worship them. One of the gods, taking pity on the humans’ sadness after they had been split, gave them a gift in the form of a mark.  This mark was a brand on their skin, unique to that person and the person that they belonged with.

Obviously, this was only a story. One of the many stories children grew up listening to as way to explain the soul mate phenomenon. Although science had clearly advanced, they never uncovered said mystery. It was one of those things people had to accept as part of human nature without further explanation.

It was common knowledge that everyone had a soul mate. A soul mate was someone who was supposed to be the right fit for you, the person that made you a complete being.

Like the story told, each human would find the other half of its soul through the brand on his or her skin. It was a small but distinct mark that seemed to be burned onto the skin in a specific place on their body. It meant that the person destined for you would carry exactly the same mark in the same place as you.

There was no way to predict the moment the mark would appear on your skin, although it was known that the mark only showed up when both parts of the soul existed at the same time. It was common that people had to wait a few years before the mark appeared, just like some people were already born with it.

The bonding process in which the soul mates are bound together permanently, allows a profound connection. The moment the soul-bond is acknowledged by both parts, it starts developing slowly. In the initial stages, the couple becomes aware of each other, sensing their presence is in close proximity. As their feelings deepen, the affinity becomes refined and enhanced. Yet, the empathic connection is only settled after the first sexual encounter between them. After the physical consummation of their relationship, the pair is in tune with each other. They become affected by each other’s emotions, moods and, in intense situations, pain.

The soul marks don’t assure the fulfillment of the bonding. Unfortunately, sometimes even before the soul mate pair meet, the bond was gone due the death of one of the parts. The indication of a broken bond happened when the brand startedbleeding, and when it is healing, the mark will fade away, until the only thing that remains is a thin white line instead of an intense dark trace. Fortunately, these sad cases are few and far between. Eventually, people would find their soul mate and would be paired up until the day they died. It could take years sometimes, but they are always bound to meet.

After all, that is destiny playing its game.

Felicity was one of these lucky people who were born with their mark.

She never had to wait patiently for the brand to appear on her skin, indicating that her other half was finally born. She also didn’t have to wonder the shape of it as she grew up looking at the arrow on the small of her back, a little above her waistline.

As a kid, Felicity would spend hours in front of her bedroom mirror staring at it. She’d trace its outlines with her fingertips, trying to imagine what kind of person had ended up with the same mark she had.

Sometimes, she’d imagined a blonde girl with green eyes that would help Felicity find a cute outfit and dance for hours to Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys.

Other times, she figured it’d be a ginger boy with freckles covering his nose and cheeks and bright blue eyes and he’d share her passion for computers.

“It doesn’t matter how they look or their interests,” her mother said every time she vocalized what she expected from her soul mate. “The only important thing is that whoever they are, they’ll love and accept you as the wonderful person you are.”

She was seventeen when she realized that more than half of her high school classroom was already paired up with their other halves. The others were enjoying their ‘freedom’; the term they had loved assigning to the period before they found their soul mate. And then there was Felicity, in a constant state of waiting for her right fit to appear and sweep her off her feet.

Her group of friends was all paired up, except for her. Chris and Daniel had been together for years, Lisa and Kate just recently found each other when Kate’s parents moved to their town. Jessica, the only single girl aside Felicity, wasn’t really single as she just found her soul mate through a site called ‘Find your mark’ that was supposed to find your match. Felicity felt tempted to subscribe to said site, but her mother was right about one thing: soul mates were supposed to find each other at the right time and not because of technology. Her parents had waited; she could do it too. Although it was hard to hear the plans her friends made as they chose the university they’d attend together. She yearned to build a future with her soul mate just like them. Sometimes, her desire was so strong she could feel it in her bones.

“Have patience,” her mother whispered into Felicity’s ear as she held her daughter while she broke down in tears. Felicity had just gotten the invitation for Chris and Daniel’s engagement party and it hit her hard that she didn’t have what she wanted most. “They’ll find you when it’s the right time and they’ll love you.”

“Focus on finding your purpose in life,” her father suggested when he found Felicity crying in her mother’s arms. “I know you already take your education seriously, but your head can’t be just focused on computers and finding your soul mate. You need to live your life, Felicity.”

The next day, when Charlie Michaelson asked her to be his date for their prom, she said yes. 

Felicity had been living with her grandparents for one month when she got the call about her parents insurance. She decided to not touch the money until she knew what she wanted to do with her life.

Her parents died in a terrible car accident while she was at MIT. Her loss left her so devastated that she developed depression. Her precarious mental state forced her grandparents to fly to Massachusetts and get her out of university to put her into treatment.

In the beginning it was hard, but with the help of her grief counselor and her meds, she got better. Undoubtedly, her grandparents’ support was the key to her recovery as they understood the grief Felicity was feeling. Just like Felicity, they'd lost someone in that accident. Their daughter died and Felicity couldn’t even picture the type of pain they were dealing with. As the three of them were coming to terms from their loss, they could always rely on each other.

“I told you it’d be good for you to see Dr. Williams,” her grandmother told her when Felicity said that her grief counselor congratulated her on her progress.

“How did you know that?” she asked, curious of her grandma’s foresight.

“We’re family, Felicity,” she explained. “We always know,” she said before she kissed Felicity’s forehead.

That made Felicity genuinely smile for the first time in months.

Two weeks after her 23th birthday, Felicity went back to Starling City.

Almost four years had passed since her parents' deaths and only then had she had the courage to go back home. After the year she lived with her grandparents recovering from her depression, she went back to MIT and finished her degree. As soon as she graduated, she managed to get a job in the IT department of Queen Consolidated. Although her dream job would be in the Applied Science department, she was satisfied enough with her accomplishments.

Even though she was back to her city, she knew she couldn’t move back to her childhood home. Too many memories and unfulfilled dreams surrounded that place and Felicity knew she’d end up relapsing if she tried to live there by herself. So, she made the best out of that situation: she sold her family’s house with everything inside, saving some personal items. With the money she got from the sale, she bought a small apartment close to the company’s building and a car.

Felicity understood it was time to find a new purpose for her life, something that had nothing to do with studying or grieving.

She had a job, a place to live and a cute car. The mark on the small of her back was still intense as always and, if she felt alone, her grandparents were a call away.

It wasn’t the life she pictured she’d have as a kid, but it was good enough.

When she met Oliver Queen he wasn’t what she expected him to be.

Obviously, she never actually expected their paths to ever cross. After all, he was a Queen and she was an IT tech; her job usually didn’t cover the executive suites for her to have a chance to meet him. But in the unlikelihood of meeting him, he wouldn’t be like the man she talked to.

Of course, she expected a gorgeous billionaire like Oliver to be very charming. But these weren’t the things that drew her attention to him. First of all, he didn’t seem annoyed by her propensity to babble. He didn’t interrupt her when she was babbling about his father death. Actually, she swore she even saw a hint of smile while she was embarrassing herself in front of him. And she noticed he didn’t demand things from her just because she was an employee of QC.  She basically called him on his bullshit about spilling a latte on his laptop, and instead of just telling her to do it because it was his name on the building, he tried to he give her an explanation. She was aware it was the worst lie she'd ever heard in her life and almost an offense to her intellect, but she appreciated he didn’t use his position to make her do something for him.

I like him, Felicity decided, nodding in agreement to Oliver’s request.

Oliver Queen was the vigilante and he wanted her to be part of his team.

Of course, she declined his offer to become a permanent fixture on his personal crusade.

It had been one year since she moved back to Starling City and she managed to establish a good life for herself. She didn’t take meds anymore and didn't need therapy. She had a few friends from work that she went out to have a few drinks on Friday night and she spent a lot of her time working with computers and coding. In her spare time, she’d watch good television and every two weeks she’d go see her grandparents. She was a boring IT girl and that was all she wanted after the trials and tribulations she's gone through. Working for the city’s vigilante would go against the peaceful life she wanted to lead.  However, she agreed to work with him until they found Mr. Steele. After all, it was because of her research he was kidnapped.

“I accepted working with the Hood. I hope my soul mate is a little less crazy than I am,” she muttered, taking another spoonful of mint chip.

“Felicity…” he leaned closer, his hand reaching for hers. He clasped their fingers together in a tight grip; his eyes were locked on hers when he spoke again. “He had you and he was going to hurt you. There was no choice to make,” he said in a low voice.

She looked at him with a small smile on her lips. She didn’t know how she should answer him properly, so she chose to not say anything at all.

She watched him go, leaving her behind with her thoughts.

When she first learned Oliver was the vigilante and she accepted working with him, that wasn’t how she envisioned her life to go. 

Not in a million of years had she imagined she’d find purpose in her life with Oliver's help. Working with him allowed her to explore a side of her she never thought even existed. Their work pushed her to improve her skills, which gave her more confidence. Although her life became stressful, she found meaning in what she did. It was very satisfying to finish a night and know she made a difference and the city was safer because of her help. 

Oliver helped her find herself and for that she was eternally grateful. The impact he had made in her life usually had her wondering about the future.

She hoped her soul mate would accept the solid friendship she forged with Oliver and Diggle. She couldn't imagine not having them in her life after everything they'd gone through together. Her soul mate would have to accept the whole package of crazy hours, Team Arrow and her tiny crush on Oliver.

She was sure it’d be easier for anyone to accept Diggle than Oliver. Diggle was married to his other half and Oliver was alone and probably would stay like that if their talks were anything to go by.

She knew Oliver told her he knew who his soul mate was and, from the looks of it, he wouldn’t do a damn thing about it. It was rage-inducing, the thought of Oliver knowing the woman he was meant to be with and letting her go. She didn’t know if his soul mate was aware that Oliver belonged with her, but Felicity hoped he and his soul mate talked and it was a mutual decision and not Oliver making the decision without her consent. If that was the case, she hoped the woman punched Oliver in the face if she ever found out.

She was checking the result of her recent research about the League of Assassins when she got a call from Diggle telling her to prepare everything because Oliver was unconscious and hurt.

“What happened?” Felicity demanded to know as she helped Diggle put Oliver on the cold metal table. Aside the deep wound in his leg, he seemed alright.

"We were attacked on our way here. Someone hit Oliver in the head and he fell on a broken bottle,” he explained as he checked Oliver’s head for injury. “Someone is targeting Oliver Queen, not the Arrow.”

“What you need me to do?”

“Take off his pants," Dig told her.

She grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting away his very expensive pants. She tried to not look at the cut while she worked carefully on him. She left him on his underwear and turned him to his side to check for any other injury.

Felicity took a sharp intake of breath and felt her throat constrict as she looked at the mark in the shape of an arrow branded on his small back, a little above his waistline.

Just like hers.

"Felicity?" Dig called her, snapping out of her shock. She looked at her friend, feeling the blood leave her face.

"Are you okay?" Dig asked, concerned when he saw her face.

"I don’t know," she muttered as she stepped away from the table.

"Why don’t you sit there until you feel better," Dig pointed out to the chair close to one of her computers. "And if I need you, I'll call you back, ok?"

She nodded before walking across the room, her legs wobbly as she started shaking from her nerves. She sank into the chair and buried her face in her hands,the memory of her talk with Oliver resurfacing.

“Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it’s better to not be with someone that I could really care about.” She nodded in understanding, getting up to deliver the files Oliver requested. She almost reached the door when she stopped in mid step, deciding to turn around and tell him what she thought he needed to hear.

“Well I think… I think you deserve to find your soul mate instead of Isabel.”

Oliver gave her a pained look, a sad smile forming on his lips. “I already found her,” he confessed.

Felicity felt her eyes widen in shock.

“What?” she asked, anger immediately coursing through her veins. “Why are you still doing it, Oliver? She’s supposed to be your right fit, how could you…”

"Because," Oliver cut her with a stern voice and a glint in his eyes she never saw before. "She deserves so much better than a damaged jerk like me."

Felicity remembered Oliver going back to his office, leaving her confused and sad in behalf of him and his soul mate.

If she only knew back then.

Chapter Text

The thing about soul mates is that it wasn’t a magical fairy tale that fixed everything wrong in the world like media, many textbooks, and even general public made it sound.

She knew everyone had problems and sometimes, soul mate couples could go terribly wrong, even if she never witnessed it first-hand.

She remembered the horror stories from history classes about soul mates prohibited from consummating their bond because they didn’t belong to the same social class; they had a different color skin, gender or even belonged to a different culture. Arranged marriage was common up until the last two centuries. People would think that soul mate marks would make the world more tolerant, but history would prove that thought was completely wrong.

The world nowadays was so much better in comparison, but that didn’t mean things still didn’t go wrong or wary. She remembered reading an article about a guy that went crazy and killed his soul mate and himself because if he was going to die, and his soul mate needed to follow his example. Her grandmother used to tell a tale about a neighbor that was unmarked and ended up marrying a woman that lost her soul mate before they ever met and they had kids, but he left his family the moment he was marked, even though he was fifty and his soul mate was a newborn. There were multiple stories on the internet about bound soul mates that went crazy with grief when the bond was broken because of death. Even though it was rare, there were cases about soul mates never consummating the bond because one of the parts never wanted to have sex and things stayed platonic between them, although they shared a life together. 

All her life, Felicity was surrounded by successful stories of soul mates. Those depressing stories weren’t part of her reality. They were just awful things that happened to the distant friend of the neighbor down the street.

Maybe that was the whole problem with her life: the soul mate situation was completely romanticized and no one had prepared her for the possibility of things not working out for her like she expected.

Since she could remember, she made up all these scenarios in her head: the first meeting, the ease friendship, the realization they carry the same mark, the first kiss and then the happily ever after, just like her parents. Not that her parents had a happily ever after as they died too young, but still… Her parents' love story was so movie worthy: they built a life together, they had her and they died at the same time, like they knew they couldn’t be without each other in this life.

How could she not expect the same thing for her life as she was literally the product of true love?

The tears welled up in her eyes, the agony of thinking about her situation making her chest ache.

Oliver Queen was her soul mate.

The most infuriating, stubborn and control freak of a man she ever met was her right fit.

It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so distressing.

She expected a sweet person, someone who shared the same type of personality and humor. She always thought when they finally bumped into each other, everything would fall into the right place and life would seem easier and fun. That was what happened to everyone she knew.

Instead, her soul mate came into her life and turned her world upside down. Oliver made Felicity question her life choices, he convinced her through the positive aspect of his crusade to get into a life of crime and cyber terrorism, he pushed her to find purpose in her existence, he helped her to become more confident aside from improving her skills overall.

The honest question was: how didn’t she realize before he was obviously her soul mate? 

If there was a soul mate rule book the first premise would be ‘your soul mate is the person that makes you a better human being’.

How did she fail to see the evidence right in front of her eyes?

The distinctive sensation of being drawn to Oliver and the unexplainable trust she placed in him, even after he told her his secret identity. There should have been enough clues to make her suspicious about the nature of their odd connection, but she didn’t even blink. She didn’t stop to reflect about the reason she welcomed him to disrupt her peaceful life that took her so long to build after she lost her parents. She accepted him as an extension of herself and never second guessed the logic behind that feeling. For someone who proudly saw herself as self-aware and observant, her obliviousness during the whole time she knew Oliver made her wince.

She should have seen this one coming and yet, here she was: taken by surprise by the revelation of Oliver’s lie by omission.

Three sharp knocks on her front door derailed Felicity's train of thought abruptly, making her jump slightly on her couch. She glanced at the clock on the opposite wall and it marked almost midnight. There was only one person who would come over at that time without a call.

She drew in a long breath and let it hiss out slowly. She felt the rage start boiling inside her as she stood up to get the door.

Felicity didn’t even blink when she found Oliver leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and lips pursued. She mirrored his stance, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

“You’re mad at me,” Oliver stated, relaxing his posture.

“No shit, Sherlock,” she hissed, her eyes narrowing slightly.

He held out his hands. “This time I have no idea what I did wrong. Care to enlighten me?”

She took a deep breath and stepped aside to let him in. She was about to use her loud voice and she didn’t want her neighbors to hear it. Well, not a lot of it.

She locked the door as Oliver stepped into her living room. He glanced at the wine glass on her coffee table and sighed out loud. He knew he was in trouble.

Good, she thought as she got near him.

“You lied to me!” Felicity pointed at him accusingly, her voice loud and clear.

His eyes widened, squirming under her gaze. “About what?”

“You know exactly what I’m accusing you of, Oliver! If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here!” she said matter-of-factly. His breath hitched as his shoulders slumped a bit. “You felt like you needed to see me, didn’t you? You felt a pull towards here and you didn’t even resist,” she stated, trying to control her voice.

He averted his eyes from her to his shoes, his silence confirming her words. Their souls already started to fall in harmony. As much as she was seething because of his lies, she wanted to go after him multiple times during the day just to see him and look at his mark again.

Obviously, she resisted the desire as she spent the whole time locked up in her apartment since the previous night when she came back from the lair. After Diggle told her Oliver was going to be okay, for the first time she didn’t wait for him to wake up and see with her own eyes he was going to be okay. She just grabbed her things and stormed out of the lair with no further explanations to Diggle about her weird behavior, aside that they’d talk later and just call her if someone was about to die.

“That’s the bonding, Oliver,” she continued.“You know the process that starts when the two soul mates acknowledge their bond.”

“I know what bonding is, Felicity,” he cut her in a stern voice. “You don’t need to explain to me.”

She didn’t believe violence as an answer to anger, but she was getting close to slapping Oliver in the face.The fact he took a step back, seeming alarmed, made her realize he was hit by the strength of her emotions. 

She didn’t know if she felt relieved or not for Oliver being able to access her mood so easily. For a moment she tried to concentrate on him, but she didn’t know which feelings belonged to her or Oliver. She dismissed the myriad of feelings and focused on yelling at Oliver instead. She’d try to get the hang of bonding and empathic emotions later. She was too busy being angry at him in that moment.

“Felicity, I…”

“I really don’t want to hear whatever you want to say,” she interrupted him, holding out her hand. He huffed, his lips pressing in a thin line as he scowled at her. “Don’t make this face at me, Oliver. I don’t want to deal with you and your lies right now. Just tell me one thing: when did you find out?”

His eyes followed her body, fixating his gaze on her waistline. For a moment, his eyes looked distant, as if he was remembering the exact moment he saw her mark for the first time. She felt a tingle of need to feel her mark underneath her fingertips. Her breath hitched when she realized that particular feeling didn’t belong to her. She had a flash of her father confessing that he loved to trace her mother’s mark because it was so soothing to touch the lines that bonded the two of them together. She swallowed hard, the feeling of yearning hitting her hard. Her outrage faltering for a second in face of Oliver’s affection for her.

Oliver bit his lip before looking at her again. “It was the day after the Undertaking,” he revealed.

“Oh,” she said simply. Oh was an understatement. She promptly felt torn as she saw his wistful expression change to haunted.

She could remember that night as if it was yesterday. It was the first time Oliver dropped by her apartment to just spend time with her. He came by wearing a somber face and holding the 1982 Lafite Rothschild bottle that he once promised her.

‘I never want to break a promise to you,’ she recalled Oliver’s confession before they sat quietly on her couch, drinking the wine in companionable silence until she fell asleep. At the time she didn’t know, but then she learned that same night it was Oliver’s birthday. She remembered the warm feeling that washed over her when she found out she was the person Oliver chose to spend his birthday with. She always reflected that day was the moment that brought them closer, and now Oliver offered a piece of information that confirmed her thoughts.

"You fell asleep on the couch and I decided to move you to your bed,” he said slowly as if he was reliving the moment. "When I lowered you onto the mattress, you rolled over and your shirt lifted up. Your shorts were down enough to let me see the mark,” he paused, his eyes never leaving hers. “I was shocked," he continued, his voice sounding deeper than usual. "I couldn’t deal with that information on top of the Undertaking, my mom’s arrest and Tommy’s death. I did what I do best: I ran from it."

Understanding dawned on her, but she quickly shrugged it off. The timing was bad, but it didn’t justify Oliver hiding something so huge from her. The feeling of betrayal resurfaced as she remembered her own discovery the night before.

“By the time, I came back I thought it was better for us to not get together. I repeat what I said: I don’t deserve you, Felicity. I…”

“Oliver!” she cut him. “Stop feeding me excuses, okay? I don’t want to talk about the stupid explanation that you offered me after Russia,” for her satisfaction he winced visibly at her words. “We will go back to that when I’m not as mad to you as I am right now. I need some time away from you.”

His lips pressed in a thin line at her declaration before he nodded. “I had time to figure out everything when I took off. You should have the same right. Take the rest of the week off, we’ll be fine without you,” he finished, offering her a sad smile.

She frowned. “Oliver, I’m mad at you, but I do remember you were attacked last night. I don’t think now is the best time…”

“I’ll call you if something happens,” he interrupted her. “Take this week off, you need it. I insist,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

She sighed and didn't say anything in response. She turned her back to him and walked to the door. She opened it and pointed with her head the exit. “I need to sleep, Oliver. I'll talk to you when… when I want to talk to you,” she told him in a resolute tone.

He sighed, his hand scratching his scruff. “Fine,” he replied, crossing the room towards her doorway. Before he stepped out of her apartment, he stopped and looked at her.

“For all it’s worth, I’m glad you’re my soul mate,” he muttered softly. He didn’t wait for her response; he grabbed the doorknob and closed it behind him.

She felt her eyes well up, his words affecting her more than she wanted to admit. She sagged against the wall, closing her eyes to organize her feelings. She didn’t realize the mess she was until she had him right in front of her. She needed five minutes out to regain control over her life.

Most of all, she needed time and space from Oliver.

That’s why when she woke up the next morning, she packed up a bag, got into her car and drove away from Starling City, not looking back once.

Chapter Text

Felicity sighed, falling into her comfy couch as dread washed over her. She had just arrived from her weeklong trip to her grandparents’ home, to keep herself away from Oliver. Just being back in Starling already reduced the effects of her self-imposed distance between them. She closed her eyes, her head resting on the back of her couch as she tried to relax. Her headache and the constant buzzing decreased considerably already. Maybe she should have listened to her granny on the second day when she said Felicity could go home and just avoid places she knew she would meet Oliver.

Three sharp knocks on her front door derailed Felicity's train of thought abruptly, making her jump slightly on her couch. She drew in a long breath before she got up to answer the door.

Felicity’s eyes widened in alarm at Oliver’s presence in her doorway. If she looked worn out, Oliver seemed like he got run over by a truck or something similarly horrible.

“What…” before Felicity could formulate her question, Oliver pulled her close, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. His surprise hug attack made her step back and he easily walked her backward, closing her door with his feet without releasing his hold on her.

Her arms went around his neck, and she felt Oliver draw in a ragged breath and burrowed his face in the curve of her neck. She shuddered at the prickly feeling of his long beard against her already sensitive skin, but she couldn’t stifle the relieved gasp when the mere contact with him soothed her body. She sagged against his chest, relief seeping through her as she felt the first resemblance of a pleasing feeling since she stepped out of Starling.

Since the bond was formed, her body seemed to lose its individuality. She’d been able to sense Oliver’s muted feelings since she’d first seen his mark. After their discussion and her need to get out of town, everything just got worse. She understood when soul mates were bonding, they experienced symptoms when they were away from each other, but she wasn’t expecting something quite like what she’d ended up feeling. It wasn’t just uncomfortable like she read so many times; it exhausted her too.

First, it was the active beehive in her brain. She almost drove back from her grandparents’ house to Starling City in the second day so the buzzing would stop. The noise ended up giving her a headache at the end of each day, which seemed to drain her strength to the point she’d fall into deep sleep, only to have her dream time plagued by Oliver’s everything. Yet, the worst part was the whole yearning. It seemed as the more time and space she put between herself and Oliver, the more she craved him. Her skin felt so sensitive and tingly that sometimes she had to lock herself up in her grandparents’ bathroom and let the almost scalding water run down her body to reduce everything she was feeling.

She didn’t even last one week away from Oliver. Although, according to her granny if Felicity wasn’t so damn stubborn, she’d have gone back in two days instead of six. So, points for Felicity for enduring so much for so long.

Agony caused by soul mate bond aside, getting out of Starling City and spending time with her family gave her another perspective of her problems.

Yes, Oliver was an asshole for keeping the information to himself, but her grandmother reminded her that he was a difficult man and he wasn’t ready to face the responsibility of having a soul mate after so many tragic things had happened to him. The fact he said twice he didn’t deserve her was proof he actually wanted to be with her; he just felt unworthy – which was different levels of stupidity in Felicity’s opinion. The bottom line was that they needed to have an honest talk. She’d speak her mind, wouldn’t let Oliver feed her any kind of excuse and they’d find a mid-ground until they decided what they should do next - together.

Felicity needed to remember to buy the best and most expensive coffeemaker for her granny as thanks for putting up with her constant babble about her soul mate problems. Of course her purchase would be done with Oliver’s credit card as he was the reason she almost had an emotional meltdown in the first place.

Even though she promised her granny she wouldn’t do anything hasty, she couldn’t stop herself from researching alternatives for people that didn’t have the intention to complete their bond. If her granny knew, she’d scold Felicity about her research, but Felicity being Felicity needed to know what would be the next step if Oliver decided to not drop the absurdity of not deserving her. She found out there were suppressants to mask the symptoms of the bonding if people needed to be away from each other, and a group in Starling City made up of people without soul mates that would meet and talk and try to form bonds with others and try to fill the void their soul mate left. She had no idea such things existed, but then she also never worried about being in a situation where her other half wanted to reject the bond.

Although now, in Oliver’s arms, surrounded by his all-consuming feelings for her, she couldn’t remember why she thought her future involved anything else but him and their lives. She couldn’t believe last night she’d been crying over the possibility of marrying, having kids and a house with someone else’s soul mate instead of the one the universe designed as her own perfect fit.

She felt her eyes well up at maelstrom of feelings at that moment. She couldn’t separate which feelings belonged to whom, but she could feel the mix of relief, longing, desire, irritation and deep affection. As she held onto him, Felicity realized that Oliver wouldn’t honestly walk away from her. The two of them had deep feelings for each other that predated the bonding. The process of it only highlighted them.

Felicity sighed at the sensation of Oliver hugging her; at the same time she felt his want to touch her. She couldn’t distinguish where he started and she ended, and that was burning her from the inside out.

Her fingers itched to slide down his back, get underneath his shirt and just reach for his mark, but it was he who lifted up her tank top, lowered the hem of her shorts down and covered her mark with his hand. She moaned in pleasure for the warmth of his warm hand on her, tracing the mark that brought them together.

“Shit,” she gasped out loud as she felt desire pool low in her belly. She dug her nails in the back of his head, her hips thrusting involuntarily into him. 

“Felicity,” he moaned against her neck, squeezing her waist. Somehow, Oliver speaking her name brought her back to reality and made her push him away by the shoulders.  He reluctantly released his hold on her, running his hands through his short hair as he avoided her gaze. He finally looked at her only when she stepped back and put some distance between them.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity squinted at him, crinkling her nose. “Better yet, how did you know I was home?”

Felicity watched his cheeks redden a little, his head hanging low as his shoulders slackened in embarrassment.

“I was around your block when I felt your presence, so I had to come to see you,” he shrugged, his lips pressed in a thin line.

Felicity let out a long sigh. She shook her head, pointing to her couch. “Sit, we need to talk.”

He gave her a small nod, sitting at one end of the couch. She took the opposite side, one of her legs under her as she turned her body towards him. She took a deep breath, gathering courage to start talking.

“Felicity, before you start I need to tell you something, can I…?” he sent her a questioning look, silently asking her permission.

She tilted her head, scrutinizing Oliver’s stance. He was sitting stiffly, and his expression was neutral even though she could sense his inner turmoil. They were too close, physically and emotionally, for her not to feel it. Her eyes fell on his hands, catching him rub his fingers together. She knew it was a nervous tic because he only did it when he was trying to conceal being agitated. Not wanting to upset him further, Felicity bobbed her head in agreement.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “While you were gone, it made me realize how much I screwed up.” He paused, his eyes hovering over her expression, licking his lips before he continued. “Once you told me that it was your life, your choice. Keeping that secret from you was wrong of me because it involved your life too. I shouldn’t have made any kind of choice without your consent.”

He swallowed thickly before sucking in a sharp breath. “In the beginning, I was going to do this all by myself, but then you and Diggle came into this and now we’re a team. I learned to rely on you, to need you with me. You became my partner’, he stopped briefly, offering her a small smile. “You’re my partner, Felicity, and it wasn’t very partner-like of me to keep you in the dark about being my soul mate. You’re part of this as much as I am. For that I’m sorry.”

Felicity exhaled sharply, suddenly disarmed by his declaration. The anger she bottled up for the last week seemed to vanish at hearing his sincere apology. She felt a pang of exasperation for Oliver’s ability to quell her justified outrage.

“You can’t do this again, Oliver,” she shook her head, closing her eyes briefly in frustration. “You can’t just make decisions that affect both of us without consulting me. You already did it twice, first when you made me your EA and now regarding the soul mate mark,” she said gravely. “If you see me as your partner,” she paused, giving him a disappointed look, “you need to start treating me like one and not like I’m playing roles in your life that are convenient to you.”

He flinched visibly at her words, the guilt surging between the two of them. The remorse reflecting in Oliver’s eyes made her slide closer to where he was sitting, her hand reaching for his. He entwined their feelings together, squeezing it slightly.

“I won’t do this ever again,” he promised in a quiet voice, his eyes locked with hers. Seeing  his sincerity, she offered him a reassuring smile.

There was a brief moment of silence. His gaze focused on her, shifting from earnestness to tenderness. He dropped her hand, slowly reaching up to stroke her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her face, his thumb rubbing back and forth over her skin.

“I never want to feel like I did last week,” he confessed as he tipped his head slightly to his right. “But I don’t deserve you.”

“You’ve said before that you didn’t tell me I was your soul mate because you didn’t deserve me. What am I to you, Oliver? Am I a reward for good behavior or something?”  She closed her eyes, trying to conceal her annoyance. “Look, I understand you’ve issues with your past and the things you did before. I know you feel unworthy of happiness and a fulfilled life.” She opened her eyes and looked into his. “But you need to stop this,” she waved at him with her free hand. “Everything I did for you and how I feel about you are things that I did freely, that naturally happened. What we’ve built wasn’t a reward for you being the best man out there.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, pressing her lips in frustration. Before she had chance to say anything else, Oliver spoke.

“Felicity, the life I lead…”

“It’s the same one I lead!” she interrupted, irritated by his stubbornness. “The enemies you make are the same ones I have because I’m behind this mission as much as you are. I may not be out there using my fists, but I’m still fighting. You’re not protecting me by not being with me. The only person you’re protecting is yourself,” she said vehemently. “You’re being your own worst enemy, Oliver. Stop sabotaging yourself.”

He swallowed hard, shifting his gaze from hers briefly. He dropped his defensive posture and let his hand fall from her fold. She could see the acquiescence in his face when he spoke again.

“What do you want to do?” he asked in a gravelly tone.

“I want us to explore the bond. I want to make this work,” she said honestly. “But I won’t push you,” she said, trying to not let the hurt show in her voice. “If you honestly don’t want…”

“I’m not rejecting the bond,” he said decisively, tipping up her face gently, his hand under her chin. “I want you, I’ve always wanted you,” he declared without hesitation, his eyes locked on hers. “Even before I found out that you were my soul mate, I wanted you,” he confessed, his eyes pleading for her to believe in him.

She nodded, overwhelmed by his words. After a moment of silence, she spoke.

“So, you want to try?” she asked softly.

“I want to try,” he told her in a determined tone, a familiar smile gracing his lips.

“Okay,” she said, licking her lips, caught in the intensity of his gaze. Her mouth went dry as his eyes fell to her lips, following the movements of her tongue. Her pulse raced as desire pooled in her belly. The air felt heavier as Oliver took a long, assessing look, and then leaned down, capturing her mouth in a kiss. The second his lips were on hers it felt like something broke within her.

Everything became heightened, bright and focused, the emotions so intense that they reverberated in her body. Her skin was so sensitive that having him kiss her was almost too much to handle, not just the sense of his feelings enveloping her own, but the desire he felt left her feeling like the sparks between them were threatening to explode into a full-blown conflagration. As way to ground herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him closer as the kiss deepened. His tongue parted her lips and, as she opened up to him, he took control. She felt the urgency in the way his mouth moved against hers, sucking on her bottom lip to entice a groan from her. Her nails dug into his neck, and then raked up and down his skin. She sighed against his mouth, her need for Oliver drowning her senses. Felicity was so lost in his embrace that when he pulled away she gasped out loud.

Their eyes met immediately and she knew she was turning crimson under his heated look. Felicity sensed Oliver’s desire to drag her to the bedroom and consummate the bond right then.

“Go,” she said urgently, pushing him away. She looked at her hands and saw she was trembling. Oliver didn’t look much better. He looked on the edge, his face as reddened as his lips, swollen by her kisses, and she suspected that wasn’t the only part of him affected, making sure not to glance down his body, even though her own want nearly drove her to climb in his lap and take this to its natural conclusion.

“Felicity,” he moaned in agony. Yup, he felt her desperation.

“You need to go now,” she repeated as she retreated to her previous spot on the couch.

“Yes, I need to go before I…” he looked at her and licked his lips. She shivered at the wave of sexual desire hit her.

“Go,” she encouraged.

Oliver bobbed his head in agreement, but instead of getting up, he slid closer to her. He reached for her hand, his eyes holding hers in an intense gaze.

“I want to do this right,” he muttered as he lifted her hand close to his mouth.

“It’s okay, I understand,” she said while he kissed her knuckles.

He let her hand go, getting up to leave. In a few steps, he had crossed her living room, standing in front of her doorway. He opened the door and stepped out, but then he turned around to look at her.

“I’m very happy it’s you,” he said with a smile before closing the door behind him.

Felicity let out a happy laughter as she felt the mutual happiness singing across the bond.

Things would work out just fine between them. She could feel it.