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They kept the heat off as a matter of principle.
Technically their stipends should cover all living expenses -- they were heroes of Earth, after all -- but both Shiro and Keith preferred to live modest lives. That was why they were sharing a small house together, on the outskirts of the Garrison’s college town, instead of living it up in the Caribbean or Pacific like the rest of the team. That, and... there were still loose threads that needed to be either tied up or cut off before they could move on.
So the heat in the house stayed off for most of the winter, only coming on when it became too cold to function despite a half-dozen layers of clothing. Which happened more and more often as the weeks wore on past the new year and the snow outside drifted to the ground and didn’t melt.
Keith was hardly surprised when he woke up and poked his head out of the blankets only to be greeted by a thin layer of frost on everything. The blankets crunched with ice crystals when he moved. Grumbling, he looked over at where Shiro was still asleep on the opposite bed, just the fringe of his hair visible from where he was curled up.
“Hey, you forgot to turn on the heat last night.”
No response.
Keith slid out of bed, suppressing his gasp at the touch of the icy floor, and hurried on tiptoes to the thermostat. That was odd, the switch was on but the system wasn’t running. Keith cranked the dial all the way up but still nothing happened. Great, just what they needed, a broken heat system in the middle of winter.
Only the problem went further than that. When Keith turned on a light to inspect the thermostat more closely, the switch clicked but the lights didn’t work. Shiro finally started stirring as Keith stomped through the house, angry enough now that the cold didn’t bother him, trying all the electronics and cursing when none of them worked.
“What’s it?” Shiro asked, rubbing his eyes as he shuffled into the living room. At least he was out of bed, but he was keeping his blanket wrapped close around him like a second skin.
“Power must be down,” Keith said through clenched teeth. “And there’s enough snow on the road that going out isn’t an option.”
“Oh, is that all.” Shiro turned and headed back toward the bedroom. “We could use a day off.”
Keith shook his head and tried not to get more upset. It was a good thing that Shiro was planning to get some rest. It would just be... hard, stuck here with him. Keith needed distractions from his presence; that’s why he’d taken a job with odd hours, so he wouldn’t have to be alone with Shiro more than necessary. He didn’t want to reopen old wounds on either of them.
“You could stay in here,” Keith said at last, almost too late as Shiro disappeared around the corner. “I’ll get the fireplace up and running.”
Shiro continued on into the bedroom and re-emerged a moment later carrying Keith’s blanket. “That sounds great. Here, don’t catch cold.”
Keith took the blanket, noting the way Shiro was holding it out so their hands wouldn’t touch. So it seemed they both had the same memories in mind. At least Keith wasn’t alone in this fight; if Shiro was actively trying to avoid him too, then that made it easier to dismiss him. It would have been so much harder if one of them was looking for reconciliation.
----
Luckily there was enough wood to make a decently large fire. Keith brought in an extra armload and dumped it next to the fireplace; it was still partly covered in snow that showed no signs of melting even indoors.
“Gives a whole new meaning to it’s freezing in here,” Keith said, ignoring the way his teeth chattered. The fire was warm but only up close. If he sat back on the couch, only his toes got any relief from the cold.
“It’ll warm up soon enough,” Shiro said, and Keith wanted to strangle him for how optimistic he sounded. “This place is insulated well so all we’ve got to do is keep the fire going long enough for the heat to accumulate.”
Keith glared at where the other man was still wrapped in his blanket, curled up on the floor in front of the fire. Meanwhile he was relegated to the couch because while there was room in front of the hearth for two, it was only room for two very friendly people. And cuddling up to Shiro wasn’t an option right now.
“You know what would make this better?” Shiro asked.
“Better?”
“Yep.”
“You make it sound like there’s anything good about this at all.”
Shiro shrugged and gave him a smirk. “Well, it got you to light the fireplace for the first time all winter, so I’d say that’s a plus. Nothing like spreading the holiday cheer.”
“The holidays were over two weeks ago,” Keith deadpanned. “It’s February.”
“Almost my birthday!”
Keith wove a hand into his own hair and pulled it in frustration. Since when did Shiro have a license to be so... so... happy? Charming? Under other circumstances, Keith would have enjoyed it, would have laughed along with him because it was such a rare treat to see Shiro’s smile. But right now it only reminded him of what they’d had before, and what he didn’t have any more.
What he still couldn’t understand was how Shiro was so complacent about the whole deal.
“Are you really getting warm, all the way back there?”
Narrowing his eyes, Keith gave him a look colder than the wind outside. “Yes.”
“Fine, fine,” Shiro huffed. “Forget I asked.”
Keith huddled his knees up to his chest and tucked the blanket into the seams of the couch. It wasn’t pleasant, but they’d survived far worse in their days as paladins. All they had to do was maintain the status quo until someone from the Garrison arrived to restore power, and everything would be the same as it had been before this outage.
A wave of heat rippled out from the fireplace as Shiro got up and walked to the kitchen, blanket trailing like a king’s cloak.
“What are you doing?” Keith muttered more out of habit than curiosity.
“Getting hot cocoa.”
Keith let out an audible whine and covered his head with the blanket. Why was this happening? Was Shiro really enjoying himself this much? Or was he flaunting how much he could enjoy life on his own, without Keith... no. That had been the opposite of their argument. Things didn’t add up and it was starting to make Keith’s head hurt.
He just wanted things back to how they had been years ago, when they were still paladins chasing the dream of ultimate peace throughout the universe. How young they’d been, and naive, and happy with each other.
More shuffling noises sounded from outside his cocoon and Keith poked his head out to see Shiro setting a kettle on the hook inside the fireplace. In front of him was a tray with two mugs and packets of cocoa mix.
“I hope you like extra marshmallows,” Shiro was saying, his back toward Keith. “That’s the only kind we’ve got.”
“It’s fine.” Keith leaned forward, against his better judgment, until he was perched on the edge of the couch. “Thanks, Shiro.”
The older man glanced over his shoulder and gave him a tight smile. “No problem.”
Then he went back to messing with the fire, rearranging the logs with the poker, and left Keith with his insecurities. Should he join Shiro on the floor? It was his house too, his fireplace as much as anyone else’s. He just didn’t want the gesture to be taken the wrong way. More than anything else, he wanted to avoid an argument like last time, when he tried to fight Shiro’s decision to break up with him.
“Can you watch the kettle for a moment? I’m going to see if we’ve got any more blankets.”
Well that was that problem solved easily enough. Keith slid off the couch and knelt on the floor, immediately overwhelmed by the soothing waves of heat from the fire. The problem now rested solely on Shiro’s shoulders: would he sit next to Keith like they used to, or would he accept that things were different now?
The kettle boiled and Keith poured the water into the mugs, careful to leave enough room for the cocoa mix. He stirred a packet into each mug, then added a little extra to top off Shiro’s. They’d done this enough before, when they were on better terms, and Keith still remembered how Shiro liked his chocolate. Stupid things like that stuck in his mind and wouldn’t leave to make room for new memories -- things like how Shiro liked his cocoa, which side of the bed he preferred to sleep on, the way he would shiver in appreciation when Keith scratched his nails along his scalp. All Keith wanted to do was block out those thoughts because right now, with the source of the memories close beside him, it was hard to keep his hands to himself.
Shiro came back while he was still moodily stirring the cocoa. “Here’s another blanket for you. You were looking a little cold.” He dropped a heavy woolen weight around Keith’s shoulders and the smaller man wrapped it around himself appreciatively.
“I also found some candles,” Shiro continued. He laid out a row of holders on the side table and fitted each with a half-used lump of wax.
“And those are for...?” Keith asked, unable to contain his sarcasm.
“Heat? Light?” Shiro paused and took a look at Keith’s skeptical expression. “Atmosphere?”
That was it, it was official, this wasn’t going to work. Keith sunk deeper into the blanket and held out a mug toward Shiro. “Sit down and bundle up before you catch cold, you candle-lighting sap. What do you think this is, a romantic holiday getaway?”
Shiro fell silent and cupped his cocoa in both hands, blowing on it before taking a careful sip. “I don’t have any delusions about what we are, Keith. I know what’s out of line.”
Keith grunted in reply, eyes averted, and focused his attention on his own cocoa. He could still hear echoes of their last argument -- not their last last, but the last that ever mattered -- could feel the words biting against his skin like sand. At that time, it had been their second year together. Shiro had bought him a gift, an ornate dagger, beautifully crafted by some alien species, meant for decoration only but beautiful in its uselessness. A symbol that they didn’t have to always be fighting for their lives, that they were allowed to own items without justifying their purpose.
And Keith had gotten him a gift too, something he’d prayed Shiro would appreciate, something that he desperately hoped would bring them many more years together. A ring. A thin loop of golden metal, inset with a black stone that shone like opal in the starlight. Beautiful and sentimental and utterly unmistakeable in meaning.
Please be mine. Forever.
Shiro had turned him down.
The older man had taken the ring, kissed it, and set it on Keith’s own hand. “Don’t waste your life on someone as broken as me. You can do much better out there in the galaxies. Find someone who deserves to have a person as good as you.”
“Keith. Keith!”
The younger man startled into alertness, looking around violently as his mug threatened to spill.
“Hey, sorry. You need to get your blanket away from the fire.”
“Oh.” He looked down and pulled in the corner where it had strayed too close to the flames. “Shiro...”
The one-time Black Paladin glanced at him. “Yes?”
“Nothing.”
The silence lasted a while longer as they finished their drinks and set them aside. Keith was doing all he could to keep from falling back into his memories and it was getting harder to avoid them as the darkness of the storm outside lingered. There was the time they’d been trapped in an ice cave on Nyforax, fighting hypothermia and frost goblins while they waited for rescue. There was a happier time, when they’d landed the Castle on Glabion’s moon for the sole purpose of having an epic snowball fight on the uninhabited planetoid. There were so many times that they’d spent together, and this was the hardest of them all.
Shiro moved again, shifting closer in from the edge of the hearth. Keith started to scoot back, keeping distance between them, but a wordless noise from Shiro stopped him.
“I don’t mind being closer to you, if that’s okay,” the older man said. He sounded at ease but he was picking at the frayed edge of his blanket. “As a matter of fact, body heat might help.”
“Help what?” Keith didn’t mean to sound suspicious but right now he was more than a little on edge with Shiro’s proximity.
“My, uh.” At least Shiro had the grace to look shamefaced about it as he inched closer. “My arm always starts hurting when it gets really cold, and I don’t mind sharing the fire with you. If you’re okay with it, that is.”
Keith’s eyes narrowed but he pulled his legs in closer and made room. In all the time he’d known him, Shiro had only voiced his pain a handful of times... and all of those times had been a bluff to win Keith’s sympathy and tender kisses. As much as Keith wanted to deny it, his walls were crumbling down and he could feel his heart softening.
“Fine, come on.” He opened his blanket and shivered as Shiro leaned into him without hesitation. This was so close to what they’d had before.
Shiro closed his eyes and let his head rest heavily against Keith’s collarbone, the weight of his trust like a stone on Keith’s heart. But he kept his hands to himself and Keith did the same even though he was dying to touch.
“Thanks, Keith,” Shiro murmured, shifting to get comfortable.
Both of them froze when something hard pressed into Keith’s flesh, pinned between the two of them. Shiro sat up to see what it was but Keith was faster, tucking something on a chain into his shirt. Metal fingers held his wrist and worked the chain out of his grasp, holding it up so Shiro could see the ring that dangled from it. Black and gold, glinting in the firelight as if he held a whole galaxy in his palm.
“Keith...”
The smaller man leaned back and pulled the ring away. “Forget it, it’s nothing.”
“After all this time, you’re still -- you still want me?”
“I made you a promise,” Keith said bitterly. “I said I wouldn’t have anyone but you. Then you left me, so... I’m still on my own.”
Shiro dropped the ring and took him by the shoulders. “I never left you! I only turned you down, Keith, because I wanted better for you. But I could never leave you.”
“This whole time, I thought you hated me! I thought you didn’t want me so you came up with some stupid lie just to get away!”
“No, I would never...” Shiro stopped and lifted the ring from Keith’s chest, holding it up in trembling fingers. “I never meant to hurt you like that. I honestly thought --”
“You honestly thought nothing. Clearly you don’t have single synapse in that thick head of yours because how could you have missed the fact that I love you?!” Now Keith had his hands on Shiro’s shoulders, gripping hard enough to bruise as he blinked back angry tears.
Shiro went still. Even though they’d said I love you plenty of times, it still carried an enormous weight every time it was spoken aloud.
Keith watched as Shiro swallowed and tried to keep his expression steady, but he could see cracks forming in the older man’s composure. Keith almost wanted to laugh but he knew the pain too well; he’d felt the shock of it like electricity on his lips when he said those words.
“I... I messed up,” Shiro said at last, very faintly. “I’m always making you suffer.” Keith’s grip tightened again but Shiro leaned forward, cutting off whatever he was going to say. “But in spite of all that, you’re still here in front of me. So I have to ask: Keith, would you be willing to give me a second chance? Could we... try to go back to how things were?”
Slowly Keith’s hands slipped from Shiro’s shoulders to land limply in his lap. He leaned forward, his head colliding with the bigger man’s chest as all the energy drained from him. Shiro started to pull away, touch uncertain, but Keith stopped him with a word.
“Of course, you idiot.”
The tension bled from Shiro’s body in a wave and he collapsed back onto his elbows, taking Keith down with him. They ended up in a pile on the floor, half tangled in blankets, suddenly laughing as they burrowed into each other’s embrace.
“Don’t call your boyfriend an idiot,” Shiro said, his mouth close to Keith’s ear. “It’s rude.”
“Boyfriend?” Keith pulled back, towering over Shiro and casting him in shadow. “Are you turning down the ring?”
“No, I...” He blushed. “Wait. Wait. Was that an engagement ring?!”
Keith flopped on top of him, driving the air from Shiro’s lungs with a grunt. “Why do you think I got so upset you gave it back?”
Shiro tried to facepalm but that was difficult with an armful of Keith. “I’m so sorry. You have full permission to call me an idiot.”
“I’m just glad you figured it out in the end.” Keith nuzzled at Shiro’s cheek, a sweet gesture that they’d both missed for so long.
Closing his eyes, Shiro tilted his head back and let Keith do as he wished. The smaller man reached back for his discarded blanket and pulled it over them both, letting their body heat merge together into something resembling comfort.
It was still snowing outside, still barely above freezing inside, but they were together again, and Keith reveled in that as he let the steady sound of Shiro’s heartbeat lull him to sleep.