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John stopped in the doorway to his and Clarice’s tiny living room and tilted his head to the side as he looked at where his wife was sitting on the floor with a dragon’s hoard worth of candy. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much candy before.”
“Well don’t get excited, it’s all mine,” she shot back, not even looking up at him. She had a candy cane sticking out of her mouth like a cigar, and she was sorting the rest of the candy into piles. Peppermint here, chocolate there, hard candy over in this area, miscellaneous to the far side. She crunched down on the candy cane and made a face. “I don’t even like this, it’s Spree-flavored.”
John raised an eyebrow and she shot him a frown, guessing at what he was thinking it.
“I’m eating it so your children can’t,” she said, “They’re with Lorna, by the way, regretting their poor choices.”
“And why are the kids banned from candy, besides obvious sugar-high related reasons?” he asked.
He noticed that she called them ‘his’ kids, which meant they had caused some kind of problem. Seeing how they were two and six, that could be any number of things. Since Hope had learned to walk, she, JD, and Aurora had become a trio of troublemakers, though they were the cutest troublemakers anyone could ask for.
“You know how we had a candy supply in the storeroom that we were saving for Christmas? And how we kept thinking we didn’t have enough even though we kept adding to it every week?” She spread her hands, indicating the massive amount of candy scattered around her. “I gave birth to sugar thieves.”
John put his hand over his mouth so she wouldn’t see him smiling. “You’re kidding.”
“Oh, no, I assure you, I am not.” Clarice pulled the candy cane out of her mouth and jabbed it at him, making a point. “They’ve been filching from the main supply and hiding it under JD’s bed for months.”
“I’m honestly surprised they didn’t just eat it.” Pushing away from the door, he walked over and sat down across from her. He joined in on Clarice’s sorting, or he tried to. Her hand darted out and popped the back of his when he tried to pick up a piece of candy. “I’m helping.”
“No, I’ve got a system.”
“I see that.”
“I think JD was the mastermind behind hiding it,” Clarice said, tossing some chocolate into the pile. “He has the worst sweet tooth, and he’s always worried about not getting dessert.”
“So…he’s stockpiling in case he doesn’t get a dessert some day?” John asked, trying to decide if that bothered him or not. Did JD understand that sometimes it was difficult for them to get food, especially the sugary stuff? Even though he was only six, he was pretty perceptive.
“I don’t know if it’s that so much as he’s basically a dragon when it comes to candy. He wants all of it.” She stuck the candy cane back in her mouth. “You want to know how I found this under the bed? I was cleaning up JD’s room because him and Aurora had a slime war.”
John made a face. “What do you mean, a slime war? I wasn’t gone that long.” He had spent most of the day out at another safehouse in a small town toward the south, helping them set-up a defense system.
“Oh, you were gone long enough.” Clarice crunched down on the candy cane, biting off a decent-sized chunk. “Somebody showed them how to make slime with glue and borax—”
“How…”
“There was Borax in the laundry room,” Clarice said, holding up her hands, “And the glue came from the kids’ school supplies. It was apparently a science lesson, but yeah, the kids decided to have a snot war.”
John had started subtly sorting along with her, keeping his movements small so she didn’t automatically stop him. “That’s disgusting.”
“No kidding,” Clarice said, “But you know what I’m officially renaming our kids? The Bringer of Destruction and Chaos Creator. I’m editing their birth certificates right now.”
“Bad day, huh…” John reached over and cupped the side of her face, stroking his thumb along her cheek. “Sorry I wasn’t here.”
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s all your fault,” Clarice teased, leaning into his touch. “That’s why you don’t get any candy.”
John smiled and pulled his hand back, helping her sort. “Did you already figure out some kind of consequence for this?”
“No candy ever again ever,” Clarice said, flashing a grin, “But seriously, no. I’ve got some ideas, but I thought we could talk about it first and agree on our plan.” She smirked. “Right now the punishment is sitting with Lorna and waiting for a verdict.”
“Oh, that’s the worst,” John said, remembering similar times in his life. Waiting for a consequence and knowing you had disappointed your parents was way worse than actually enduring the punishment.
“I was thinking that an extra minute of chores per candy for JD could cover it,” Clarice said, running her hand over the hard candy pile. “Though that doesn’t work for Hope.”
“Hope is two,” John said, “I think the no candy for a while punishment is about as good as it gets with her. It was under JD’s bed anyways, right?”
“Yep.”