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Joonie: You know what's crazy?
Joonie: one of the most attractive men we've ever known
Joonie: had his birthday today
Joonie: and we have yet to have an orgy to celebrate
Tae: who are you people and what have you done with me and Joonie's boyfriends?!
Chim: Sorry Taetae, we've been a little tired
Hobi: the little dinner we had together was nice though, right?
Tae: of course it was. Any moment I get to spend with you guys is perfect
Kookie: I think I just actually puked out a rainbow
Jinnie: THAT WAS THE SWEETEST THING EVERYTHING
Jinnie: TAEHYUNG GET YOUR ASS IN HERE SO THAT I CAN CUDDLE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
Yoon: don't hog him from the rest of us
Jinnie: I can't believe one of the six children that I raised from birth is 22
Kookie: you guys are getting old
Kookie: I'm dating a bunch of old men
Hobi: with age comes experience
Hobi: right, Jeonggukie?
Joonie: Hobi what did you do to him?
Joonie: I've never seen him this red in my life
Chim: Where the hell is everyone?
Chim: I'm missing at least two of my boyfriends
Joonie: me, Yoon, and Kookie are in the studio
Jinnie: I'm cuddling THE SHIT out of Taehyung
Tae: tgebnkoidu
Hobi: Idk what that means but I relate.
Chim: Hobi where are you?
Hobi: about to go help Jin suffocate Taetae with hugs and kisses
Hobi: maybe a little anal if he's up for it
Jinnie: he just screamed “of course I'm up for it”
Kookie: why is it that you guys only initiate sex when I'm not around?
Kookie: is it because I called you old men?
Yoon: not sure if you remember but me, Joonie, and Chim aren't there either.
Hobi: Just made it.
Hobi: somehow I lost my shirt and pants in the hall
Hobi: don't know houw that happened
Joonie: (¬_¬)
Kookie: (¬_¬)
Yoon: (¬_¬)
Chim: (¬_¬)
Jinnie: (¬_¬)
Tae: (¬_¬)
Hobi: Something tells me you guys don't believe me
Hobi: Jin already had Tae naked
Tae: I'm not sure how it happened
Tae: but I was sure I had my pants on two seconds ago
Joonie: Jin is like a wizard when it comes to taking off clothes
Yoon: his own and someone else's
Jin: these crooked fingers are good for something
Chim: those crooked fingers are good for everything
Tae: why is there only three of us?
Tae: I was promised an orgy
Tae: as the birthday boy I demand my orgy!
Chim: already naked and on my way
Kookie: um, well, we got a little side-tracked
Kookie: but we'll be there soon
Joonie: Yeah, give us like ten minutes
Joonie: ytgbe
Joonie: make that five minutes
Tae: Yoongi could be in here sucking me off too
Yoon: You're right Tae
Yoon: we'll be there in a min
Tae: (o^▽^o)
Tae: we'll be waiting
The next day
Tae: that was
Tae: the best
Tae: birthday orgy
Tae: to ever exist
Tae: I can't feel my tongue
Tae: or the rest of my body
Joonie: I can't say it out loud because my throat is all fucked up
Joonie: Literally
Joonie: but, happy (belated) birthday baby
Chim: you're the best boyfriend we could ever ask for
Jinnie: your smile makes our day
Hobi: you make all of us better people
Yoon: who knows where we'd be without you
Kookie: you're one of the best people we know
Hobi: Happy birthday Tae
Jinnie: Happy birthday baby boy
Chim: Happy birthday my favorite Tae
Yoon: Happy birthday love
Kookie: Happy happy birthday hyung
Tae: I told myself I wouldn't cry
Tae: dammit I'm crying
Tae: guys, thank you so much
Tae: now get up here and love me!
Kookie: I was already coming up there anyway
Chim: as you wish
Chim: I'm laying right on top of you though
Chim: and you can't do anything about it
Tae: wouldn't dream of it
Yoon: I'll be there in a second
Yoon: I need to catch my breath
Yoon: I think Hobi jackhammered out one of my lungs
Hobi: sorry Yoon hyung
Yoon: didn't say it was a bad thing
Yoon: you know you don't need to apologize to me
Yoon: unless I tell you I'm uncomfortable
Yoon: which I wasn't by the way
Tae: aww how sweet Yoon hyung
Joonie: I love it when my boyfriends all get along
Jinnie: I'd say this was pure but I am covered in sweat and cum
Jinnie: so there is nothing pure about this exchange
Kookie: you weren't complaining when it happened
Kookie: why do it now?
Jinnie: I'd kick you in the dick if Tae wasn't so warm on top of me
Tae: saved your life once again
Tae: I need to start charging you Kookie
Kookie: you wouldn't dare
Kookie: you love me almost as much as I love you
Kookie: almost
Hobi: Holy fuck that was so cute my heart started hurting
Tae: Same
Joonie: Same!
Yoon: Same!!
Jinnie: Same!!!
Chim: Same!!!!
Kookie: Same!!!!!
Tae: I love my idiot boyfriends
Joonie: and your idiot boyfriends love you right back
