Chapter Text
*
Nothing looks so pretty as the winter stars a glittering
Smiling on the two of us below
And your eyes are like a child again
Giving you a lovely winterglow
- Grant-Lee Phillips, "Winterglow"
*
Peggy considered her news as Steve slept. She’d hatched the idea, the broad strokes of it anyway, the moment she received confirmation, but still she considered how exactly to share it with Steve.
She lay awake with a smile, fingers running through the short blond hairs at his nape, Steve’s bare chest pressed against her. Since their reunion little over five months ago in this new century, they’ve been inclined to keeping in close physical contact. A long separation ensured that new habit.
Peggy had considered telling him the moment he returned home earlier that day, had even been set on it up until the moment she saw him. The lights were on and the radio played in the background, sure signals that Steve was finally home from his mission. He stuck his head out of the kitchen in greeting and she made a beeline to him, pulling him in by his shoulders for a deep kiss. He dutifully dropped the sandwich he had been making and swept her off her feet, their mouths never parting. And then her news fell to the wayside, forgotten, content to stay put a little longer under wraps. After weeks apart, both were too content to be consumed by each other.
She considered it again later that same evening, after they could stand to stay several feet apart. Steve had been singing along to Christmas music while making her a cup of tea. She’d remembered the way he’d given excited and wistful glances at the Christmas tree sales that popped up across street corners of Manhattan. She thought of presents under the tree, hanging stockings and the thrill of Father Christmas’ surprises.
She was confident about turning her news into a Christmas surprise as Steve snored softly against her clavicle as she held him close. The wintry wind came in through the window they left open for Steve’s sake, rustling the curtains but Peggy wasn’t cold, not when she has her own personal furnace fast asleep against her. She watched his slack expression with a smile, faint tinkling of jingle bells floating up from down below.
The weeks until Christmas had crept away, tinsel and lights covering every windowfront in the city. With little over a week left, their place had no decorations and no sign of a holiday celebration to come, not with the hours they both were pulling. The fact was that they had spent more nights apart in the last few weeks than together, work keeping them both busy and away from home. But now, finally, they were home together.
With Steve home from his overseas mission, Peggy purposefully managed to take a few days off. They had agreed it was about time they put some effort into making some holiday cheer of their own. The occasion called for it, their first Christmas together in this lifetime, their first real Christmas celebration at all, not counting those improvised celebrations they had with the boys on the Western Front. Those were sweet memories that still warmed her heart, but this required in her opinion, a more purposed effort.
This called for an abundance of cheer.
And it started with getting a tree.
The sun hadn’t even risen as they drove out of the city limits headed for upstate New York equipped with bagels and the schoolchildren grins of those embarking on a Christmas adventure. It was a beautiful ride through the quiet morning in the Hudson Valley, Steve manning the holiday music choices as Peggy drove. She’d spent an embarrassing amount of time looking up Christmas tree farms for them to visit to find their tree. But she wanted it to be perfect, and she wanted to do with Steve, away from the distractions of the city. It was easily justified when they drove into the picturesque farm’s grounds, trees as far as the eye could see.
Steve grinned and took her gloved hand in his.
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.”
She snorted, squeezing his hand as they walked through the entrance. They sat touching on the wagon ride that took them deep into the rows of towering evergreen trees. Both were quiet as they observed the farm’s grounds and listened to the chatter of families planning their own Christmas traditions.
“Do you remember decorating trees as a kid, all those years ago?” he asked her quietly. “Ma and I made ornaments together every year. We didn’t have a lot of money to get real ones, and Ma only had a few of the ones her parents left her. But it didn’t matter. We’d go all out. Paper chains, cellophane cutouts. It always made the tree special.”
“Michael and I would fight over who'd be the one to put the star atop the tree. One year I snuck out of my bed in the middle of the night, climbed the mantle of our fireplace and stuck the star as near the top as I could reach just so I could beat my brother for once.”
Steve snorted. “Of course you did.”
She grinned back at him. He tightened his hold on her hand, and she leaned over to rest her head against his shoulder.
The idea came to her in a flash, potent and perfect. She knew exactly how she would present her news.
“Perhaps we could make some ornaments together this year.”
He smiled brightly at her suggestion.
At the end of the ride, once all the kids ran down the steps with their parents rushing after them, Peggy and Steve joined the crowd on the hunt for the perfect tree. Steve picked up the saw in one hand, then with a grin and an arched eyebrow, he looped his arm around hers and they headed into the thick of the trees.
They walked into the grouping of grand Noble firs, soft flakes started to fall from the gray sky. Peggy laughed as Steve stuck his tongue out to catch one on his tongue.
“Did I ever tell you about the time my brother dared me to lick a lamppost?”
“No!”
She nodded, lifting her free gloved hand up to catch a few snowflakes. “Not my proudest moment. But Michael had dared me. And he promised me that the snow would taste like ice cream.”
“How old were you?”
“Four or so.”
“Yup, I bet four-year-old Peggy was a force to be reckoned with."
“You have no idea.”
“So what happened?”
''I got stuck. It's hard to scream with your tongue attached to a large metal pole. But my crying must have scared Michael because he immediately ran home for help after shouting at me not to move. My grandmother was the closest. Fifteen minutes and a hot water bottle later, she carried me home, twisting Michael’s ear all the way to his room. She gave Michael a proper punishment and no pudding for a week. My mother on the other hand seemed more upset with my unladylike behavior to be quite honest.” She shook her head. “I was furious with Michael for weeks. Not only had he lied to me, but he made a fool of me in front of the whole neighborhood. He played knights and dragons with me all winter long trying to make it up to me.”
Steve shook his head. “Life’s always an adventure with you Peg.”
She nudged him with her shoulder.
“Like you’ve ever resisted a dare Steve Rogers.”
He grinned sheepishly. “I guess we’re just kindred spirits.”
A piece of blond hair fell over his forehead, wet from the snow. She rose up on her tiptoes to brush it back, pausing to touch his cheek, watching his eyes flutter closed for a moment.
After a moment they continued on.
Peggy nearly spilled the surprise watching Steve’s face light up as a man carried a toddler on his shoulders just a few feet in front of them. She watched his smile grow as the tiny boy babbled, grasping his father's hair with one tiny pudgy hand, and the other holding a handful of pine needles. She had to pretend to be seriously considering a spruce to her right to prevent her mouth from opening.
They finally found a tree that suited them both, a Spruce just taller than Steve himself, full and plush branches just waiting to be decorated. Instead of waiting for the wagon to return, Steve hauled the tree up with ease, still having a free hand to hold hers. She smiled at him, matching him step for step, their boots crunching in tandem on the snowy path.
“I could use some food,” he mentioned with a grin once the tree is securely strapped to the car. “Definitely some coffee at least.”
She found herself pressing against him in a rush of affection. She was certain it had very little do with the promise of food and coffee, though her stomach rumbled.
“Let's go eat.”
They drove into the nearest town square, pulling up to a quaint and cozy diner. A toy train whizzed by them at the window sill next to their booth. She felt warm and happy, reaching across for Steve's hand as they both eyed the diner's extensive menu with hungry eyes. Neither resisted the temptation of fluffy pancakes, especially Christmas tree shaped ones, a dusting of powdered sugar atop, mirroring their real tree outside.
There’s a warmth to the diner’s atmosphere. The servers were kind, attentive and offered up plenty of suggestions of attractions in the area, even tips for caring for their tree.
“This is nice isn't it?”
He nodded, looking around the diner's decorated interior. “It's a beautiful place. Peaceful. Good place for families I bet.”
She pursed her lips in a thoughtful smile before hiding it behind her mug of coffee. “Do you think so? Compared to New York?” she asked in an even tone.
He shrugged. “I loved growing up in the city. But big backyards, a wrap-around porch and this gorgeous backdrop? That sure sounds idyllic too. Didn’t you say your childhood home in Hampstead had a wooded area part as part of the yard?”
She nodded. “There were plenty of trees to climb.”
He shrugged. “It sounds really nice.”
The made their way back to the city after a quick peak around the town square, the tree a green umbrella. They made it back just after lunchtime, plenty of time at Peggy’s insistence for a nap together before they started working on the decorations.
Steve hoisted the tree into the living room and carefully into the stand he bought for it the other day. Though she knew Steve was bouncing with energy, giddy with excitement to finally decorate, he joined her in bed without complaint, holding her close as she shut her eyes.
He was awake when she opened her eyes some time later, still holding her close, his fingers brushing gently through her hair. They were distracted a bit longer from the planned decorating by drawn out kisses. She let herself indulge. They had time.
“Let’s get to work darling,” she finally suggested.
He leapt out of bed making her laugh as she followed him. There’s something magical about the tree, even bare, awaiting their handiwork. She thought of her childhood and it dawned on her that she and Steve now had the chance to start their own traditions. It dawned on her that their family was already beginning to grow.
Her heart thumped in anticipation, her head full of a tiny giggling baby being held high by Steve. Without even realizing it, her hand drifted to her stomach.
While she put on the kettle, Steve carried in two large bags she didn’t recognize.
“What are those and where did they come from?”
He grinned sheepishly. “I might have bought a few decorations.”
She bit her lip in amusement “Just a few?”
He shrugged, digging out ribbon, garlands and boxes of multicolored ornaments. While she unwound the strings of lights, Steve perused his art supplies for ornament making.
“One year, Ma and I made an Advent Calendar out of our ornaments. Some had wishes and others had what were thankful for written on them. We put one up every day of December up until Christmas.”
“That’s a lovely idea. Mum always preferred to keep to a theme. One year we had made ornaments at school. My cherry red scribbles definitely didn’t suit her snowy white tree that year.”
Once the tree was dressed with lights, Steve and Peggy both getting tangled up in them several times before they found a rhythm to winding them neatly around the tree, they started on their handmade ornaments. Steve fished out clear ornaments from his purchases, easily painting two while Peggy painstakingly planned the one she had in mind. She wasn’t nearly as artistic as Steve who’d easily painted their faces on one ornament, full of detail and likeness. She wouldn’t be able to match his creativity, but she was determined to make this memorable.
In perfect loopy penmanship she spelled out her message when suddenly she had an idea. She excused herself ostensibly to return a missed call from the office, only to call up Pepper from the bathroom for help on using the fancy printer Tony had supplied when Peggy had decided that a home office would aid some of her long hours.
She found Steve singing along to White Christmas, glittery garland hanging around his neck as he very careful hung ornaments.
She gripped her finally finished ornament tight and took a breath.
Then she stepped to him, touching the small of his back.
“It looks lovely darling.”
He flashed a smile at her. “It’s definitely getting there. Is everything alright at work?”
“Yes, yes, they’re managing just fine,” she said dismissively. She felt her pulse race and after a beat she spoke again. “Do me a favor, darling? Since you’ve got a better eye for this sort of thing, can you find the perfect spot for this one?”
He took it from her, still studying her and not her handiwork.
“I’m sure we’ll find—”
Her heart leap into her throat in excitement as Steve’s voice dropped off. His eyes had screwed up in concentration as if he had difficulty reading the four words written in green and red.
“I don’t—” She could hear him swallow.
“Sound it out darling,” she teased.
He read it aloud. “Baby’s first Christmas ornament.”
His jaw fell open and he brought the ornament closer to his eyes. For a moment he was still and silent. Then he broke into cheerful laughter.
“You’re pregnant!” The grin threatened to spill off his face. He let out another laugh, shaking his head as if to clear it. Then he pulled her off her feet, spinning her around. “You’re really pregnant?” he asked once her feet touched the floor.
She nodded. “That’s a real sonogram. Well a copy of the sonogram in any case.”
He kissed her hard, again and again until she was giggling against him.
“Peggy!” he exclaimed with another laugh. It was contagious. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I love you. I love you both so much.”
They could hardly keep their hands off each other, just as they’d been since reuniting, the fervor at full potency once again. A new reason for joy. Another reason.
“I can’t believe it,” he murmured from their spot cuddled up on the couch facing their tree, Peggy’s ornament prominently displayed.
“It’s quite a development,” she agreed.
He gently touched her stomach. “I just… A baby. We’re going to be parents to some incredible little human being.” He brushed his lips to her neck. “Thank you. For being here with me. For being my family.”
She felt Steve grinning as he kissed her. When he broke away to look at her she saw just how wide and wondrous his eyes were.