Chapter Text
Taehyung has a memory that is almost like a dream.
Maybe it was just a dream, Taehyung doesn’t really know. Whenever his mind flickers to this particular memory, everything goes kind of hazy, kind of rosy-tinted, and he feels a little lightheaded. A gradual ache spreads everywhere — from his bones to the capillaries leading up to his heart.
Taehyung has a memory that is almost like a dream.
It goes like this.
The summer afternoon shadows project everywhere on the wide expanse of grass, shifting incessantly with the sweet-smelling breeze that strokes the surrounding trees. Taehyung keeps trying to catch these shadows, but every time he goes near, his own shadow merges with the dark leaf-shaped images cast on the grass and everything turns into a big messy blob and the beauty of these shadows are ruined and Taehyung feels a jab in his chest because he feels responsible for ruining them. So he steps away and sits down on the grass. His shadow follows suit obediently, tucking itself close to Taehyung.
Daddy is there, lying down on his back with his eyes closed and his arms folded behind his head. He looks peaceful. There is the slightest of smiles gracing his lips, turning them upwards delicately. Taehyung likes that smile. It is often overcrowded by frowns, creases of worry and scoffs. Taehyung doesn’t know why Daddy always looks kind of upset, but if he could iron out all those downturned expressions, Taehyung would in a heartbeat.
“Can’t catch ‘em,” Taehyung blubbers to himself sadly. “Can’t catch ‘em. Wanna put ‘em in my pock it. ”
“Catch what, Tae?” Daddy winks open an eye and glances over inquisitively, lifting his head to meet Taehyung’s eyes.
“This,” Taehyung makes grabby hands towards the silhouettes of the trees and watches the contour of his fingers disappear into the shade, distorting the sharp curves of the leaves. He catches nothing but air and a handful of grass instead and retracts his arm sadly with an indignant pout.
“Ah,” Daddy muses, letting his head flop back on the ground with a soft thud. He stretches his arms towards the sky with the lethargy of a half-asleep cat and finally properly opens his eyes.
Taehyung rolls over onto his stomach and waits for Daddy to speak.
“Well, Tae-ah. Some things, like shadows, for example, can’t ever be captured.” Daddy spreads his fingers wide, peering through the spaces as he plays with the sunlight that pierces through the gaps between. “They slip right through.”
Taehyung follows Daddy’s line of vision and catches sight of a silhouette approaching them with confident strides. Daddy’s face brightens up in the same shade of pink as his hair but his eyes are unmistakably sad as he gazes fixedly at the figure coming closer to them.
This is the part that gets confusing.
This is the part where Taehyung feels his body push itself off the ground. He feels himself propelling towards the shadow of a man with outspread arms. His mouth, widening into an open grin. His voice, distinct and clear amidst the foggy nature of the memory, calling out:
“Daddy!”
Isn’t Daddy there? Behind him? Why is he running towards this man? Why is he calling this man Daddy?
This is the part where he wakes up and starts questioning, just for a fraction of a second, everything he's ever known.
Taehyung stirs awake, sighing. He quickly rubs the sleep away from his eyes as he re-orientates himself back into reality. Doubts are displaced the moment he exits the suffocating warmth of his room and walks into the kitchen. Greeted by the fragrance of bacon grease and scrambled eggs wafting into his nose, Taehyung stretches his limbs and rolls his shoulders, shrugging off the weird feeling that lingers after that recurring dream-slash-memory thing.
“Morning, kitten.” The familiarity of Yoongi’s morning gruff voice settles Taehyung’s nerves immediately.
Stifling a yawn, Taehyung echoes back, “Morning.” He shuffles towards the stove, where another familiar petite frame stands, half-swaying to a rhythm in his head as he expertly flips the eggs in the sizzling plan.
Taehyung wraps his arms around that slim waist and buries his head in the crook of that man’s shoulder. He smiles cheekily and hugs tighter when that man jumps in surprise at the contact.
“Morning, Mr Park,” Taehyung mumbles into Jimin’s shirt and kisses the nape of Jimin’s neck.
“Did you have a nice sleep, Tae?” Jimin giggles at the ticklish feeling of Taehyung’s breath hovering over the column of his neck.
“Of course,” Taehyung amps up his smile to hide the strange feeling bubbling inside of him as thoughts of the dream floats into his consciousness.
“Hey, hey, stop flirting in front of me,” Yoongi interrupts with a cough. “What about Daddy? Why does Jimin get a morning kiss and not me?”
Taehyung presses his body closer to Jimin, relishing in the way Yoongi’s jealous frown deepens. “It’s obviously because I like Mr Park more,” Taehyung lies as he rolls his eyes for extra dramatic effect.
“There, there. I’ll give you a morning kiss,” Jimin says pacifyingly as Yoongi mutters sadly under his breath at the same time, “My son is all grown up.”
Taehyung continues to cling onto Jimin’s sleeve, trailing behind him as Jimin deposits a massive plate of breakfast on the table and then quickly halts in front of Yoongi, swooping down to give Taehyung’s father a peck on the lips.
“Blergh, my innocence!” Taehyung fake-gags, immediately releasing Jimin to cover his eyes even though both Yoongi and Jimin’s faces are hidden behind the newspaper that Yoongi had propped up.
Yoongi sticks out his tongue mockingly at Taehyung and Jimin throws his face into Yoongi’s shirt in laughter. “Come here,” Yoongi finally says, using one hand to beckon his son over as the other holds onto Jimin.
“Fine,” Taehyung pretends to be reluctant as he drags his feet towards his father, though the grin on his face says otherwise. He hops onto Yoongi’s lap mischievously, ignoring the wince that leaves Yoongi’s lips and presses a big, wet kiss onto the latter’s cheek. The same as always.
“When did you get so heavy?” Yoongi huffs in exertion.
“The last time I checked, I’m seventeen and a good ten centimetres taller than you,” Taehyung replies teasingly, his grin widening. “I could lift the both of you up at the same time if I wanted to.”
“Sure, sure.” Yoongi slaps Taehyung’s arm, though his eyes are full of fondness as he watches Taehyung flex his non-existent muscles to prove his point.
“We should eat before the food gets cold,” Jimin utters with an equally fond smile.
“Yay!” Taehyung enthuses. “I love it when Mr Park stays over. You make the most kickass breakfasts.”
“I’m offended but I agree,” Yoongi nods.
This is Taehyung’s family, full of love and jokes and happiness. A little dysfunctional, a little out-of-the-ordinary, but it’s just the way he likes it. In fact, he’s more than content. It used to be just him and his dad, but then Mr Park graced their lives with his presence and nothing has ever been the same ever since, in the best way possible. It’s all he has ever known and he wouldn’t change it for the world.
“Taehyung, Jungkook’s here!” Yoongi calls out from the hallway.
“Be right out!” Taehyung yells absentmindedly as he digs through his cabinet for a pair of socks and finally settled for mismatched ones instead. He concludes that socks are just toe-coverers anyway, so as long as they’re doing their job, who cares if one’s bright yellow and the other one’s polka-dotted, right? Logic.
He skids down the hallway and almost stumbles at the sight of Jungkook at the door. His Jungkook, wearing a high-school uniform for the first time, broad shoulders filling out the white fabric of his button down and the pants fitting and tight in just the right places. Goddamn. Where did the baby Jungkook he knew go? Not that Taehyung’s complaining though, he’s all about this grown-up version of Jungkook too.
Taehyung tries not to salivate too obviously.
“Kookie! Look at you!” Taehyung exclaims enthusiastically, flinging himself at his fifteen-year-old childhood friend without any restraint.
“Oof,” Jungkook grimaces, pushing Taehyung off him. He scans Taehyung from top to toe, taking in the loud headband pushing up his bangs, the unbuttoned blouse and baggy pants and promptly shakes his head. Pointing at Taehyung’s choice of socks, he raises a quizzical eyebrow. “Look at you,” he counters.
Taehyung shrugs flippantly. “Sock goblin’s fault. Besides, I love making a statement.”
“He sure does,” Jimin pops his head out in surprise as he emerges from the doorway, wiping his hands on his apron. With a teasing smile, he adds, “He makes declarations about how much he loooooves Jungkook every single day, am I right, Taehyung?”
“Mr Park,” Taehyung whines without actually feeling embarrassed, but rolls his eyes just to make a point about it. It’s the truth after all.
“G-good morning, Mr Park,” Jungkook basically stutters over his greeting, face beetroot red. Taehyung can’t tell if he’s blushing because of what Jimin has said, or just because of Jimin’s presence in general.
Another truth that’s universally known is that Jungkook has been holding onto this giant massive enormous crush on Jimin for god-knows-how-long.
When he was young, it was cute. But fast forward twelve years, it’s getting kind of annoying. Scratch that. Taehyung’s been frustrated by this love complex since Day One. He still remembers getting into a fight with Jungkook and hating Jimin for a while back when he was five or so. It’s pretty hilarious in hindsight, but yeah.
Simply put, Park Jimin = Min Yoongi’s Lover = Taehyung’s Love Rival, which was kind of insane. Thank god Jungkook’s never actually scoring any chances, not just because of the impractical age gap, but also because Jimin’s head over heels for Taehyung’s dad.
“Good morning, Kookie-ah, it’s been a while! You’re all grown up now, aren’t you?” Jimin coos, fussing over Jungkook’s slightly crooked tie as his paternal instincts take over. “I remember when you were just three years old and you held tightly to me like a baby koala—”
“I’ll do it,” Taehyung can’t help but step in on reflex, pouting a little as he pulls the tie away from his Jimin’s hands and quickly rearranges it.
“Alright, Mr Possessive,” Jimin laughs, a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he backs away from Jungkook.
“Okay, we’re good,” Taehyung pats Jungkook on the chest happily to indicate that he’s done rearranging, but he secretly just wanted to find an excuse to touch Jungkook. Whoops. “We’re heading off!”
“First day at school for Kookie, how exciting!” Jimin waves the two young boys goodbye with his signature crescent-eye-smile. “Good luck!”
“Take care of Jungkook, okay?” Yoongi adds, looking up from his newspaper. “Uh, maybe it’s the other way around. Jungkook, please watch out for my little troublemaker. He’s yours.”
Taehyung grins without rebuking and Jungkook just ducks his head shyly as Jimin reaches out to ruffle Jungkook’s hair.
“Let’s go,” Taehyung says with a bright smile, pulling a stunned and stammering Jungkook by the hand and dashing out of the door.
“You didn’t tell me Mr Park was staying over at your house!?” Jungkook widens his eyes exasperatedly as they walk down the hill (with their hands still intertwined, Taehyung must highlight.)
“What are you, my mom? Do I have to report to you every second of the day? Jeez,” Taehyung pretends to be offended. “What difference would it make, anyway?”
“I wouldn’t have come over to fetch you!”
“What? Why?” Taehyung’s eyes snap to Jungkook’s face in disbelief.
“I...dunno,” Jungkook releases Taehyung’s hand and scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “It’s embarrassing, I guess."
Taehyung sniffs loudly and places a hand over his heart. “I’m hurt. Is your dear Mr Park more important than a promise to me?”
“Shut up,” Jungkook replies immediately, because evidently, it is the best comeback the fifteen-year-old teenager can conjure in feeble attempts at hiding his feelings. Taehyung notices the blush on his cheeks anyways but doesn’t comment on it.
Instead, he says, “Mr Park stays over sometimes. Surprise sleepovers or something.”
“Sleepovers,” Jungkook deadpans, side-eyeing Taehyung. “You really think they’re having — what — slumber parties? In their room? Pillow fights and heart to heart talks? Sounds like a hell lot of fun."
Taehyung can feel the heat crawling up his neck. “Don’t. Even. Go. There.” He groans as his face twists in disgust.
“Think about it,” Jungkook’s face lights up with a playful glow as he speed-walks ahead of Taehyung, then pivots on his step such that he’s walking backwards, face to face with Taehyung. “Late at night, do noises drift into your room? You know...like…”
Jungkook stops in his tracks, closes his eyes, wraps his arms around himself and lets out a scandalous-sounding moan.
Taehyung almost stumbles into Jungkook in shock. “Oh my fucking—”
“ Faster! Yessss! ” Jungkook pants, his lips upturned into a Cheshire grin. “ Right there! ”
Clasping his hands over his ears, Taehyung shouts, “Stop, stop stop ! Jesus Christ!” He shoves Jungkook physically as he mentally tries to shove images out of his head.
“Y-your face was priceless,” Jungkook wheezes as he hugs his stomach.
“Puberty has changed you, Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung narrows his eyes, his cheeks hot. “Where is my little bunny Kookie? I want him back.”
To Taehyung’s surprise, Jungkook winks at him. “He’s still here.”
Taehyung’s heart does a flip at those three cute words.
“Aww,” Taehyung says a little too piercingly loud even to his own ears. He rushes forward to squish Jungkook’s cheeks together, hoping that Jungkook won’t see that the tips of his ears are red. “My baby boy!”
“Okay, yuck, don’t call me that.” Jungkook makes a face.
“You love it.”
“No, I don’t,” Jungkook protests. “Now stop it before I start moaning again.”
“Fine, fine.” Taehyung laughs jubilantly, bumping his shoulders against Jungkook.
The bantering and laughter feel nice and familiar and Taehyung’s heart squeezes just knowing he’s able to do this with Jungkook every day now that the younger boy is attending high school with him.
It takes five minutes to walk to high school from Taehyung’s house, but Taehyung tries to lengthen his quality time with Jungkook by intentionally leading them down the long route. Twelve years have passed and Taehyung still only has eyes for Jungkook. He doesn’t have a definition for his feelings, but neither is he pressuring himself to put a label on it or on himself. All he knows is that it’s unlikely to be love (the kind that his father and Mr Park share), and he’s probably outgrown infatuation. He just...he likes being with Jungkook.
By the time they reach the school gates, Jungkook has managed to extract out some juicy details from Taehyung that the latter has begged to keep a secret between them. (“I was seven, Kookie, I didn’t know anything about what they were doing and I really needed to pee and their door wasn’t fully closed! I didn’t mean to walk in on them, I swear!” Taehyung yells defensively.) In exchange, Taehyung has forced Jungkook to promise him to call him hyung — though Jungkook has long dropped the formalities on Taehyung, he reluctantly agrees (or Taehyung will tell Mr Park that Jeon Jungkook is a dirty little pervert.)
“Are you nervous?” Taehyung asks suddenly.
Jungkook thinks for a while. “Yes,” he admits.
Taehyung finds this understandable. The boy has always been a shy kid that takes quite some time to open up to new people and new environments. Though he’s completely transparent to Taehyung, he puts up guards when dealing with strangers.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Taehyung beams at Jungkook in a comforting way. He’s always been comfortable with social environments and he’s more than excited to introduce his childhood friend to his current friends.
“I know,” Jungkook smiles back, doing this thing where he puffs out one side of his cheek and passes the air around in a gurgling motion as if trying to chew away the anxiousness.
“You can count on hyung,” Taehyung emphasises, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Fuck off,” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“It’s fuck off hyung to you,” Taehyung jabs Jungkook at the side.
“We’re going to be late,” Jungkook expertly switches the topic as he turns away from Taehyung.
“Wait,” Taehyung grabs onto Jungkook, reeling him back. “Word of the day?”
Word of the day (or WOTD, for short) was a silly game that the two boys came up with ever since their kindergarten days. They used to share funny words like cockadoodado then giggle over it for fifteen whole minutes. Sometimes Taehyung tried to act like a smart-aleck to throw Jungkook off, introducing big words that the other didn’t know and had to look up in the dictionary. It was fun and it was strictly their thing.
“Hmm,” Jungkook contemplates.
“Hmm,” Taehyung follows.
A meaningful look crosses Jungkook’s eyes, a look older than his age. “Beginnings,” he eventually settles with.
The chatter of students streaming into the school gates are slowly getting louder and louder, but Jungkook’s word rings clearly in Taehyung’s ears. The sun shines brightly above, a golden ray of sunshine parting the clouds in the sky.
“To new beginnings!” Taehyung rejoices, pulling Jungkook in for a headlock.