Archive of Our Own

“Coach?” Kara breathes out nervously, fiddling with the small mobile device in her hand. She raises it to her lips and tries to keep her hands from shaking.

Yes, Kara?

The AI is smooth and elegant. A British woman’s voice. Comforting, in a metallic sort of way.

“Where do I go?” Kara looks ahead down the long, winding road. No street signs. No sounds. Just a paved road leading seemingly nowhere.

Proceed to the hub.

“Gotcha,” Kara says, pocketing the device. She continues to walk toward the valley of lights in the distance.

The hub is a well lit modern looking steel structure with a large dome roof and multiple levels. It seems familiar in a distant way, but Kara can’t remember ever having been to this one specifically. Maybe at another time, or another life. It all seems fuzzy around the edges, like the tips of a memory that borders on hallucination. She walks down the polished hallway that she can see her own reflection in, which isn’t necessarily helping her cause. She glances around nervously, before she finds her way to an escalator heading to the sky. It seems to be the only way to get to her destination. She isn’t entirely sure where she’s going, but the throng of people hanging around look just as confused as she feels, and they seem to be following the same path. That’s good enough.

The restaurant at the top of the stairs is cozy, with dim lights and soft music and couples mingling in dark corners near the bar. Kara walks in slowly, scanning the crowd for an unfamiliar face. A face she hopes, eventually, will become familiar by the time the night is over. She finds a small, circular table among the dozens of others that look identical to it, with a tiny lamp in the middle and a table set for two. She sits alone, with nothing to do but wait.

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Lena Luthor walks into the restaurant a few minutes later, a black cocktail dress clinging tightly to her well proportioned body. She glances around, trying to keep her face neutral in an attempt to steady her frazzled nerves before she reaches in her purse for her AI. She studies the image on the screen.

“How will I know who she is?” Lena asks, unfolding the device like the pages in a well-worn book. She sneaks another suspicious look around the restaurant, before settling on her device once more. A beautiful face replaces the black screen, reflecting back at her with blonde waves of hair and dark rimmed glasses that cover sapphires for eyes. It’s a live action shot, not just a picture, and the girl in the image is nervously biting her thumb nail while  searching the room for someone. Searching for her, Lena knows.

She swallows.

This is her .

The AI confirms it and Lena takes in the image for a few more seconds before depositing the device back into her purse.

She continues to walk deeper into the place, and her eyes immediately find the girl in question. She tilts her chin in the air and moves with more confidence, as her dining companion’s face turns into a warm, welcoming smile.

“Hi!” the girl says, standing abruptly and promptly sending a fork cascading across the floor. It clatters noisily, and Lena looks around, only mildly horrified, to see if anyone else is watching this encounter. The gorgeous and seemingly clumsy girl stumbles awkwardly to pick up the rogue silverware, before turning sheepishly to face Lena again. “Sorry!” she bursts.

Lena can feel her eyebrows raise to the ceiling as she grins. It’s a comical display, especially considering the circumstances.

“Fork,” the girl shrugs, holding it up for Lena to view. She’s smiling, and her cheeks are red, and she’s flustered, but it’s inexplicably... nice. The ice between them is beyond broken, even if done completely accidentally. For that, Lena is grateful.

“Lena,” Lena says, smiling wider now, pointing to herself in introduction.

“Oh, no, my name’s not fork!” she hurries to correct, tossing down the object in question. “It was just--”

“Yeah, I guessed that,” Lena smirks, “I was just--” she gestures between them, to indicate an attempt at witty banter.

“It’s Kara,” Kara breathes hurriedly. “I’m Kara! Um, do you want to sit? Should we sit?” She pivots around the table and gestures to it rapidly, her nervousness palpable in every movement.

“It’s either that or stand,” Lena jokes, watching her with careful amusement. She shifts to walk around Kara and proceeds to angle herself into the booth before she hears Kara’s voice once more.

“Oh, I was sitting on that side--” Kara begins, pointing at the spot. Lena stops and stares at her, halting her motions with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh, I don’t have to--” she begins, turning in confusion. She stands straighter, her muscles tensing. Is this really going to be a thing?

“No! No, it doesn’t matter! Sit! Why did I bring it up?” Kara chuckles and shakes her head, more at herself than anything, and Lena laughs along softly. Admittedly, it’s mostly out of pity, but she’s trying her best to be agreeable. She steals another glance at Kara, who is all limbs and flickering fingers, and she shakes her head.

“Well, now that we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way,” Lena says, grinning as she takes her seat. Kara tilts her head down, her eyes fluttering sweetly. “It’s nice to meet you, Kara.”

Kara is gentle, in a socially awkward way, but that definitely isn’t the worst thing.

I can get through this. At least she’s nice.

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Her date-- Lena -- is captivating, and lovely, and oh, Kara is so, so beyond nervous. The fork situation wasn’t even half of it. She can feel the beads of sweat forming on her back under her button down shirt, and she prays that her face can stay free of perspiration for at least a few more minutes. She’s already making a fool of herself and she knows it. She sits back in the booth and exhales a shaky breath, trying to hide behind a wide smile, and little jokes that she hopes won’t fall completely flat. Kara can already tell Lena is quick witted and sharp, but there’s a hidden gentleness to her that seems to have at least a little patience for social ineptitudes. Thank goodness.

“S-sorry! I’m just... I’m still pretty nervous,” Kara explains sheepishly, draping her arm over the side of the booth in an attempt to relax. Maybe if her posture reflects nonchalance, her attitude will follow. Either that, or she’ll just look smug, and even that would be better than knocking over tables. “This is my first time, you know, with the system,” Kara points at the AI in her hand and places it down on the table, like it’s going to come alive any second and start scolding her.

“Me too,” Lena is quick to respond, following Kara’s movements and placing hers on the table as well. She looks relieved, which makes Kara feel relieved, and that works wonders on her nerves.

“Oh really?” Kara is surprised. Lena seems so...confident. So put together. So...pretty. But now that she knows they’re both first timers, it does help tremendously.

“Oh, yeah, I’m completely freaking out,” Lena concedes with an honest smile. Her eyes are big, and her face is soft, and Kara gets a jolt of confidence by her candor.

“Now that you mention it, you do look terrified,” Kara muses. She’s lying, of course. Lena looks the complete opposite of terrified. She’s cool and calm and perfectly in control, but Kara can’t help herself when it comes to making jokes. It’s the only way she knows how to relax, and even that is touch and go when it comes to talking to a beautiful woman.

“Do I?” Lena raises a pointed eyebrow

“Yeah, you’re shivering in your underwear,” the words leave Kara’s lips before she can pull them back. She sits back, appalled at herself that she’s talking about this girl’s underwear over dinner. A girl that she’s known for less than five minutes. Underwear! Seriously!

“Or am I shaking with revulsion?” Lena’s mouth hangs open in disbelief, as she smirks in Kara’s direction. She shakes her head and leans back. She nudges her chin at Kara. “Besides, what do you know about my underwear?”

She chances a quick glance at Lena, which is her next mistake, because all that makes her do is think about what’s under Lena’s dress. It’s incredibly rude and presumptuous but Kara can’t seem to help herself and honestly, will her brain just turn off for a second, please?

“Not enough, apparently,” Kara says, shrugging. They both stare at each other with cheeky smiles. “Should we stop talking about your underwear?”

“Yeah, maybe we should put that on pause for now and order some food?” Lena bites her lip before glancing at the table. “Do you know how we order?”

“I think we use these?” Kara picks up her device and stares at it.

Menu choices already established.

Lena throws her a confused, but amused look, and Kara just shrugs and smiles in response. Before she can think to speak again, a waiter appears and places food in front of them.

“Well, it appears I’m a pasta girl,” Lena says, staring down at her plate, her lips twisted in a wry smile. Kara isn’t sure if that means she’s disgusted by the food, or amused at the accuracy of the order, but Kara is soon more preoccupied with the concoction in front of her to pay too much attention.

“Yeah I’m a--” Kara peers down at it, and it looks like something she actually would order. Potstickers. How lovely. “Potsticker!”

Lena chuckles, and Kara smiles, and they both dig in, happy to find that the food is satisfactory. Kara feels significantly better now that she has something to do with her hands that doesn’t involve knocking into tables or throwing forks, and something in her mouth that prevents her from talking about Lena’s underwear. Seriously, of all things. But Lena is still there, calmly sitting across from her, and Kara begins to think that maybe, just maybe, this date won’t be a total disaster. Lena is nodding appreciatively, making her food look just as good as it smells, and Kara’s lips curl into a smile.

“Can I try some?” Kara points at Lena’s plate, admittedly with zero shame, because it’s food, and isn’t that the point ? There’s no reason to hide her voracious appetite, or her appreciation for well made pasta, not when Lena is over there looking like that. It just makes it look even more appealing…

“Are we allowed to do that?” Lena cuts into her thoughts. She frowns, looking around the restaurant. Kara follows her glances, turning to see what everyone else is doing. She catches the eye of a guard standing at the entrance, but he seems preoccupied and fairly docile. She turns back with a grin in time for Lena to respond. “Screw it.”

“Yeah, screw it!” Kara agrees, leaning forward in time for Lena’s forkful of pasta to go into her mouth. Kara chews thoughtfully, the creamy sauce settling happily on her tongue. “Mmm, that really is good!”

Lena chuckles at her response, and they both smile shyly at each other over their plates. Kara feels content, for a moment, until she turns to look at the guard standing watch over the restaurant again. It seems strongly out of place, and an uncomfortable feeling settles in her stomach. Her brain churns slowly, like it wants to process why there’d be an armed guard at the door, but all that’s turning up is a strange sense of ‘that’s just how it is’. She pushes the thought from her mind and watches the way Lena’s eyes catch the light of the lamp on the table. Immediately, her mind moves on to other, happier, more date-like thoughts, and she finally comes to the conclusion that one of Lena’s eyes is green with hints of gray, and the other holds a slightly blue tint, and together, they might be her new favorite color.

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There’s something oddly comfortable about Kara, and the way she smiles and laughs. Lena feels a small burst of happiness in her chest the more they share awkward small talk over their dinner plates. And when Kara asks for a taste of her food, there’s a familiarity that is so genuine, Lena doesn’t even stop to consider the fact that they’re actually strangers, and this is a rather intimate step. It just seems perfectly natural that Kara would ask for a bite of her food, and that Lena would oblige. So she does.

Eventually, reality sets in, and she looks at the AI on the table. The expiration date. Of course. Lena’s heart drops.

The dating system has an expiration date for every relationship that can be unlocked if both people reveal it at the same time. She’s curious what it’s going to say for her and Kara, since they seem to be marginally compatible. At least, so far. She wouldn’t mind seeing where this goes. It’s warm, and light, and strangely safe, and it’s something Lena could get used to. Perhaps she won’t even need to do this whole dating program thing very often. Maybe she’s one of the lucky ones. Maybe this could really be it.

12 hours flashes across the screen, and her tiny bubble of bliss is immediately popped. It’s an unexpected punch to the gut, the way she really expected them to have more time, and how now that she’s confronted with the fact that they don’t, she’s extremely disappointed. She looks at Kara, who adjusts her glasses, but can’t seem to hide the troubled scowl that has appeared on her face. Lena can feel her own expression mirror it.

“12 hours?” Lena asks, and it’s not a question that will provide another more desirable answer, but she wishes it is.

“12 hours,” Kara repeats, looking at her AI with a frown. “Seems a bit...I don’t know, short, right?”

“Definitely short,” Lena agrees. Suddenly, the numbers on her AI begin counting down. “Oh, and getting shorter. I didn’t realize that checking the expiration would start a countdown. That’s sort of...sad, actually.”

Kara shakes her head, and puts her AI back on the table. “Well then, maybe we should eat quickly?” she suggests, and she smiles with a little mischief behind her eyes. Somehow, the idea cheers Lena up slightly.

“Yeah, you know, maybe we should,” Lena agrees, picking up her fork slowly and watching for Kara’s next move. She isn’t sure if she’s entirely serious, until she sees Kara mimic her movements.

“Alright, ready, set, GO!” Kara grins, shoving a huge forkful into her mouth. Lena takes a smaller bite, but she’s busy giggling at Kara’s gusto. “C’mon, hurry up!” Kara says with a full mouth that is steadily getting fuller, and Lena has to cover her own as she smiles.

It isn’t charming, or suave, or smooth, but it’s fun, and funny, and Lena has to keep covering her mouth to try to curb her loud, genuine laughter now. She would ordinarily be embarrassed, because what an appalling thing to do, but Kara is laughing with her, and she completely forgets that they are surrounded by other people. All she sees behind thick metal frames is shimmering, happy blue and that's all it takes to be enough.

They finish their meals in record time, and wait outside for a car to come take them to their next destination. After the initial meeting, the dating program maintains that couples go to their own living quarters, where they will cohabitate for the duration of their time together. It’s a precarious sort of arrangement, but since she only has so many hours to spend with Kara, Lena finds herself less anxious and more eager to get there. A powder blue rickshaw ambles up to them, and Kara points to the open side door.

“After you,” Kara gestures with a grin and a silly little bow, and Lena chuckles as she gets in. She’s polite, and courteous, even when she’s joking, and it makes Lena’s cheeks burn with appreciation.

“Thank you,” Lena replies, taking her seat.

They sit next to each other in silence, crammed in the back seat so their shoulders and legs can’t help but be pressed against each other. Lena is suddenly very conscious of everything Kara, and her mind becomes nervously too blank to come up with clever conversation. Instead, they jostle along down the dark road, with the muscles of Kara’s arms occasionally and silently brushing along Lena’s, and the firmness of her thighs making themselves known with every bump in the road that they encounter. Soon, but not too soon, they approach a massive structure, with hundreds of lights illuminating individual dwellings. It looks like an apartment complex in the middle of darkness, and Lena can feel Kara leaning across her to stare out the window.

“Wow, it’s massive!” Kara exclaims, staring open-mouthed at the structure in front of them.

“It really is,” Lena agrees, half paying attention. Kara is still partially draped across her, and it isn’t uncomfortable in the least, which ironically makes it uncomfortable.

They finally pull up to their apartment, #437.

“Here we are!” Kara announces happily. She gets out of the car and stands by the entrance where there’s a biometric lock for their handprint to open the door. “Do you want to open it, or should I?”

“You can,” Lena nods in her direction, and Kara smiles at her gently. They stare at each other in silence, regarding each other under the soft glow of the floodlight, and it starts to feel too serious for them . Lena quickly slaps her hand on the lock. “Ah, too slow” she taunts, her eyebrow raised in contention.

“Oh wow, what a time to show your true colors, Lena,” Kara responds, her hand pressed to her chest in mock offense. Her eyes betray her, as they crinkle with enthusiasm, and Lena chuckles at her reaction.

Kara opens the door and peaks her head inside, and for no reason at all, Lena feels it. ‘It’ being an unexplainable connection and appreciation for the girl in front of her, who is doing nothing remotely appealing at all besides sticking her head in a door and smiling like a total nerd. She’s all long, lean lines, and surprisingly taut muscles that come together under a firm jawline, and Lena can’t deny that there’s a definite attraction here. It hits her like a wave, threatening to swallow her up and send her out to sea, and oh, how tragically inconvenient that is.

Lena swallows thickly, as she tries to bury all these feelings, because after all, they only have a few more hours left.

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It’s refreshing, albeit surprising, that Lena isn’t all buttoned up and formal. Physically, she looks impeccable, and untouchable, (and glamorous, and expensive, and probably ten other adjectives that Kara can’t quite think of at the moment) but underneath it all, it turns out she’s spontaneous and sarcastic and actually legitimately funny.

Kara is positive the AI is wrong about 12 hours. It just doesn’t seem fair when you have this kind of a rapport with someone right off the bat. Why should their relationship need to expire so soon, before anything really gets a chance to begin? Kara pushes the frustrating thought from her mind. She can’t let it ruin the precious time she does have. She won’t.

Lena’s hand swats at the biometric lock, and she actually taunts Kara, like they’re old familiar rivals, and Kara calls her out without a second thought because it’s Lena, and that just seems like what they do. In fact, it is what they do, because Lena covers a coy little smile in response, and Kara’s heart skips a full beat.

The apartment is gorgeous. Kara peeks inside to survey the interior, and is blown away by the modern decor. Of course, she can’t let Lena know this. Not yet.

“Oh no, it’s a disaster,” she laments, holding the door in such a way that it remains hidden from Lena’s vision.

“You’re kidding!” Lena groans, eyes rolling to the ceiling. Gotcha, Kara thinks, satisfied with herself. Lena can’t see her face, but the moment is perfect nonetheless.

“Yeah, I am,” Kara admits, smiling, and Lena’s mouth twists into that wry smile again that Kara is starting to get used to. She opens the door fully and they both enter the apartment.

They’re immediately greeted by a well-lit room, with two white couches and a roaring fireplace in the center. It’s warm, and cozy, and makes the perfect ending to a fairly perfect evening. Kara already hates that she has to leave it so soon.

“It’s nice,” Lena says softly as she walks through the room, looking around. “I really like that lamp.” She points to a very plain looking lamp sitting on a table in the corner.

“Oh, yeah, that lamp is really incredible,” Kara chuckles, and her tone is filled with purposeful sarcasm. It’s the only piece in the whole place that is dull and plain, and Kara can’t suppress the urge to make fun of Lena for bringing attention to it.

“Screw you,” Lena smiles through her rolled eyes, and Kara just watches her, no longer paying attention to any pieces of furniture or so-called incredible lamps.

They continue walking around the corner, where they happen upon a queen size bed placed ceremoniously in the middle of the room. It’s suddenly awfully presumptuous, and sort of awkward, because it’s her and Lena, and well, Kara hasn’t thought this far ahead.

Do they...use it? No, that would be… a lot. Too much. Right?

“Oh, a bed!” Kara chirps, without really stopping to think.

“She says with surprise in her voice for some reason,” Lena quips, and Kara turns to her with a sideways smile. She’s suddenly far too nervous to joke around because, well, Lena is all perfect pouty lips and sharp eyebrows and at least five levels above her in terms of league. How are they supposed to share a bed ?

They both turn to stare at it for a few moments, the silence charged with unspoken questions. Lena continues walking to the right side of the bed and opens the door in the corner.

“There’s an ensuite,” Lena says, breaking the silence. She stands between the bedroom and the little alcove, her eyes splitting glances between both.

“Ah, but the real question-- is it a shower or bath?” Kara asks, for no real reason whatsoever.

“Both?” Lena chuckles.

“Oh, that’s great, then. Really...good,” Kara finishes lamely.

“I’m just going to use the bathroom,” Lena gestures awkwardly, and Kara nods, immediately shifting to head in the opposite direction.

“Sure! Right! Yeah I’m going to go, you know, over here,” Kara backs up, almost tripping as she turns and walks rapidly back to the living room.

Once on her own, Kara quickly pulls out the AI. She chances a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure Lena isn’t within earshot, and then whispers into the void.

“So, are we just supposed to...you know...” she sighs, fumbling awkwardly with the device and trying to come up with any word other than the one she wants to say. “Uh- sleep? Sleep together? Not sleep, per say, but you know. Sleep adjacent. Sleep-like activities in a bed that you share.”

Query too broad. Please narrow your search.

“Sex!” Kara blurts, wincing and immediately looking over her shoulder. “Sex” she whispers quietly. “Are we supposed to have sex now?”

Participants are not required to take any specific action.

“But, I mean, we can, right? Like, people...do?” Kara asks, her heart pounding in her ears so loud she can barely hear the response.

If that’s your decision.

“It’s up to us?”

It’s up to you.

Oh. Fantastic.

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In the bathroom, Lena pulls out her AI and sits down, staring at it hard. Her jaw clenches as she whispers.

“Ok, seriously, what are we supposed to do?” she pleads, hoping for some sort of answer. Are they really meant to hook up now? Are there rules? Does she want this? More importantly, does Kara? She bites her lip and looks to the ceiling.

Query too broad. Please narrow your search.

“Are we just supposed to...I don’t know...go at it?” Lena whispers with more exasperation, unable to make herself ask what she really wants to ask.

Define ‘go at it’.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” she angrily places the AI back in her purse and finishes up in the bathroom. So much for helpful guidance. It appears she’s on her own, which is its own version of terrifying.

When she exits the bathroom she finds Kara walking back to the bedroom with her hands in her pockets, looking like a long, lean, deer in the headlights. Lena tries to offer a comforting smile and Kara returns it. She turns and points to the couch.

“I could just sleep here, if you’d like. You can totally take the bed.” The loveseat is small, and while decorative, it’s hardly what Lena would call functional. Kara would be folded up like an accordion, and even though it's amusing, Lena cannot fathom how that would be comfortable at all. Not to mention it's totally unfair. She would feel terribly guilty for putting her out like that.

“Don’t be silly, Kara, you’d be scrunched up in a ball,” Lena shakes her head, looking at the loveseat once more. Kara’s hesitation to share a bed is charming, but it also takes the wind out of her sails a little bit. Perhaps Kara isn’t intending on going further with her after all.

Kara curls up on the couch, awkwardly tucking her long legs in close to her chin as she scoots backwards, trying to squeeze the entirety of her frame into the small space. She succeeds, if only barely, but she still looks like an animal caught in a decidedly ill-fitted trap.

“It’s not the worst,” she says, completely unconvincingly. “I could just…” she goes to adjust the pillow behind her head, which only places her neck at a more obscene angle. Her eyes flutter to catch Lena’s and the look on her face shows she’s caught in her little lie about the couch’s comfort.

“The bed’s plenty big enough, I’m sure we can both fit in it,” Lena says. She wants to let her off the hook, and Kara is all too eager to jump off the loveseat and agree.

It’s sweet that she even offered to sleep somewhere else, simply for Lena’s comfort. She can’t remember the last time someone did that without an agenda. Come to think of it, she can’t remember much of anything lately, but that’s a problem for another day. Kara is kind, and respectful, and Lena simply can’t shake the safe feeling she has when she’s with her. It’s like somehow she knows Kara would always be willing to step in and be the hero, just because that’s how she is. It’s amazing what a few hours with a person can reveal.

They settle into bed, still fully clothed, both of them on their backs staring at the ceiling. Kara doesn’t seem to know what to do with her arms as she crosses them then uncrosses them again, before finally letting them rest by her side. Lena copies her and lets hers rest on the mattress, their hands dangling alongside. They aren’t touching, which makes the tension grow even thicker, but now they’re in this strangely distant position like they’re sitting in separate caskets just waiting for death.The only way out of it would be to make a move -- and not even a subtle one. It would take rolling, and re-positioning, and a bit of balancing, which is a lot to accomplish even when both parties are expecting it. On top of that, Lena isn’t sure that they are ready to emotionally tread in those waters. Something inside her doesn’t want to ruin what they already have, even if they never speak again. Besides, there are also Kara’s feelings to consider, and those are even harder to read through that sweet veil she hides behind. So Lena does nothing and simply sinks into the mattress as she continues to stare into the darkness.

“It must have been wild, before the system, you know?” Lena finally whispers into the dark. She’s thinking about dating in general, and how it seems completely unpredictable and tedious without the AI’s to do all the planning for them. Nowadays there’s a formula, and a specific way of doing things. There are rules and protocols and expiration dates that take out all the guesswork. It’s human emotion wrapped up in a neat little package with no interference, and it’s exactly how she prefers her life to be.

“What do you mean?” Kara asks, turning to face her slightly.

“I mean, people had to do the whole relationship thing themselves before this. They’d have to try to find someone to be with, all on their own. No pairings, no timelines. Just a free for all.”

“Oh, I know! It’s almost like a state of paralysis. There are so many choices out there that you ultimately don’t know which one you want. Sometimes you can’t even pick any and you wind up all alone.”

“Exactly! And if things eventually turn disagreeable, you’d have to figure out the right way to break up with someone.” The realization hits Lena and her eyes widen. Imagine! she thinks. Having to break up with someone without being told to. You’d never know if its the right decision, and it would be complicated and messy and everything she hates about relationships.

“How to break up with someone? Oh, gosh, yeah!” Kara nods vigorously. “The worst!”

“What a nightmare.” Lena agrees.

“It’s much simpler when it’s all mapped out.”

“So much simpler!”

The silence falls over them again, and Lena isn’t sure why it suddenly feels so forced. They were doing fine up to this point, but now there are heavy implications, a reasonably sized bed, and a ticking clock just counting down their time. It might be simple, but it’s also quite odd the more she thinks about it. Kara’s breathing is uneven, which means she’s still awake and probably lost in her thoughts too. Maybe she’s thinking about how Lena can’t hold a conversation, or perhaps she’s just counting down the seconds until she’s allowed to leave.

Lena sighs. “This is…”

“...kind of weird.” Kara finishes for her, but she says it with a smile, like she isn’t totally hating it, and that makes Lena feel a little better.

Her hand is so close to Kara’s that she can feel the heat radiating from it. Her finger twitches experimentally, trying to get a little closer, just to test if Kara will move her arm away or keep it peacefully at her side. When her finger grazes along Kara’s thumb, she feels the way Kara turns her hand to be almost closer to Lena’s. Kara shifts her palm upward to be available for more, and that’s all the permission Lena needs. She slides her hand into Kara’s, and she feels the way her fingers clasp around her own. It’s warm, and soft, and gentle, and Lena can’t help the smile that comes across her face in the dark.

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They step out into the sunshine the following morning with their time finally coming to an end. Kara didn’t sleep a wink, but it wasn’t unpleasant at all. In fact, it was kind of wonderful, laying there hand in hand in silent comfort, and she wouldn’t mind sacrificing more sleep just to spend a few more hours with Lena.

“Well then,” Lena says as they emerge from the apartment. She squints and looks around. Kara does the same and notices that there are two rickshaws already waiting for them, positioned to drive them off in opposite directions. Kara doesn’t appreciate the obvious sentiment that it implies.

“So...” Kara says. She doesn’t know what to say at this point, because she really doesn’t want to say goodbye. That makes it seem so final, and the thought of that is almost unbearable.

“Thanks for being my first,” Lena winks, and Kara’s heart rate immediately sky rockets.

“It was great! Really. I had fun. You were so...nice.” Kara runs her fingers through her hair. The compliment falls tragically flat, because how do you sum up someone like Lena in one word? The answer is clear: you don’t. Kara tries to turn her grimace at her own shortcomings into a smile, but she feels so empty now that it’s hard to fake enthusiasm.

“So were you,” Lena dips her head and her eyelashes flutter like she wants to say something else, but she remains quiet. Kara just sighs. She looks down at the ground, because maybe if she doesn’t look at Lena directly, it will be easier.

Before she knows it, Lena’s hand is in hers, and she is leaning in close to whisper in Kara’s ear. Her breath is hot against the sensitive skin, and it sends goosebumps down Kara’s spine. “If we had this time again, you would absolutely get it.”

Kara clears her throat, and Lena steps away with a sinful smirk on her sharply chiseled face. Kara can’t think to do anything else but adjust her glasses and kick at an imaginary pebble, as her ears burn in bashful acceptance.

“You would too,” she finally responds when her voice returns. She nods her head emphatically. “Definitely.”

“We messed that up didn’t we?” Lena scrunches her nose a little, and Kara’s chest feels like it’s wrapped so tightly she might burst. Oh what she’d give for just another chance.

“Yeah, we really did.”

The time finally ticks down to zero, and Kara realizes her hand is still in Lena’s, their fingers firmly interlocked. They both make to walk away, stopping briefly to stare at their hands with desperate smiles. They keep their hands held and arms outstretched until the last possible second. Lena looks back at Kara as they finally detach, and Kara gives her a small wave.

“Bye Lena.”

“Take care, Kara.”

They finally part, and Kara walks away in a complete daze. It’s almost like she’s been hit over the head repeatedly, but she isn’t in pain. Not necessarily. More like total bewilderment. It’s a feeling that leaves her completely numb. 12 hours ago she didn’t know this girl even existed, and now she’s supposed to go on and forget that she does? It seems completely impossible for a myriad of reasons.

“How do I know she wasn’t the perfect match for me?” Kara asks a few hours later as she trudges up the steep, grassy hill. Her legs are burning and her lungs are screaming, and the release is helpful in ways that the AI is not. She can’t stop thinking about Lena, even though their encounter was brief. It just seems so impactful in all the little ways Kara was not expecting. Like how comfortable she felt with a total stranger, and how Lena’s smile was enough to make her forget her name, and how just being next to her made time feel like a complete illusion.

The idea of never crossing paths again is almost torturous.

Your ultimate compatible other has not yet been selected.

“Yeah, I know, but--”

The system gains insight as each participant progresses through numerous relationships and uses the gathered data to eventually select an ultimate compatible other.

“I know, I know, on your pairing day and all. You always find your perfect match.” Kara feels like she’s quoting an ad campaign versus actually speaking from the heart, but deep down, she knows why she’s here. This works. It has always worked. She just needs to trust the system.

In 99.8% of cases.

“So I have to go through a lot of relationships to find it?”

That is correct.

“Great.” Kara sighs. The prospect was exciting 24 hours ago, but now it just seems daunting.

The AI dings, indicating a new alert. Kara swipes across.

“What? Another relationship already?”

That is correct.

“I guess I should go get changed.”

xxxxxxxx

Lena looks back over her shoulder as Kara walks away, and something in her chest shifts and crumbles. She inhales sharply and clenches her jaw, before turning around and leaving her behind.

“I guess I just don’t see the point in something that short,” Lena says to her AI a few hours later, running down the path that overlooks the lake. She hates running, and her breaths are labored, but she needs to do something to get rid of this anxiety that has been stirred up in her mind since meeting Kara. Not meeting her, she corrects. Leaving her. She exhales furiously and picks up the pace.

Even your reaction to a brief encounter provides the system with valuable information.

Lena stops, clutching at the cramp in her side, wincing in discomfort.

“Yeah well, I didn’t even do anything. The system thinks I’m a total prude!” Lena laments, staring out over the water. “I’m not, for what it’s worth.”

The system makes no moral judgements.

“Yeah, you better not,” Lena scoffs, rolling her eyes.

The AI rings with a new notification.

“What the hell is that?”

Another relationship.

“You certainly don’t waste time,” Lena frowns, tossing a pebble across the lake and watching as it skips. 1, 2, 3, 4 times. “That was a moral judgement, by the way.”

Several hours later, wearing another tight cocktail dress, this time in a light blue color, Lena finds herself sitting in the same restaurant waiting for her new companion. Her dark black hair is pulled up and sideswept, but it just feels like it’s tugging at the base of her skull, annoyingly begging to be released. In other words, she’s already over it. She feels tired, and completely disinterested in meeting someone new, but it’s the system, and she needs to trust it. Or so everyone says. There has to be a method to all the madness, right? Otherwise she would be on her own to sort through the pile of potential suitors, and oh, God, what a disaster that would be.

A tall, dark figure enters the restaurant and Lena inhales sharply. She’s long and elegantly angular and dressed crisply in a red dress that has a suggestive slit up a very appealing thigh. Intriguing.

“Holy shit, is that her? Please tell me that’s her,” Lena whispers into the AI as the woman slowly begins approaching the table.

I cannot confirm identity until a personal introduction is made.

Lena quickly pockets the AI and watches. If she has to do this, then please, please let it be with someone attractive. Superficial relationships are just as important, right? We’ll sort out personalities later, she thinks. Sure enough, the woman glides up to the table with confident strides and a wicked smile and she nods in Lena’s direction.

“Hello,” she says, her voice throaty and intimidating. She sits down like she owns the place, without a care in the world and tosses her AI in her purse. She has a very ‘been here, done that’ demeanor, which is perfectly fine in Lena’s opinion. She has also been here, done that, too, thank you very much, so the playing field is quite even.

Identity confirmed .

“Hi,” Lena says, offering her best congenial smile. “I’m Lena.”

“Veronica,” the woman replies quickly. She smiles in a smug way, a kind of smile that doesn’t light up a face or convey an ounce of warmth. It seems more calculating, like she’s analyzing something, or working out a scheme in her head. She gives Lena a once over and her lips curl over her teeth. “I like your hair.”

“Thank you. I like yours as well.” Veronica’s is pulled back in a very particular updo, a style that doesn’t leave a single hair out of place. It looks...high maintenance.

“Thank you, it’s all my own, too.”

Lena laughs at the unexpected humor in that, and Veronica simply stares at her with an impassive face, like she didn’t expect her joke to be that funny. Lena self consciously clears her throat and lets the laughter die out. She straightens her posture and tries to remember her manners, because it seems this woman is not easily impressed by anything.

When it comes time to reveal the expiration dates, Lena isn’t sure how to feel. On one hand, Veronica is alluring and sensual, and would probably make for a pretty fun couple of nights, but on the other hand, it feels very plastic without much depth. Lena shrugs it off and presses the button on her AI.

9 months . Definitely enough time to make an informed decision. Well then.

“Interesting,” Veronica leans in and actually looks pleased. “9 months.”

Lena sips her wine, and quirks an eyebrow, and simply nods. Interesting. That’s certainly a word for it.

They arrive at an apartment a few hours later, and it looks identical to the one she shared with Kara. The thought makes her mouth dry, but she clears her throat and tries to focus on the moment as Veronica leads them inside.

“Looks just like my last one,” she says, carrying on with her air of unimpressed boredom. “This is my 5th relationship. I guess you could say I’m an old hand at this by now.” She explains it almost robotically as she tosses her expensive mink coat on the bed.

Lena chuckles nervously at that, but she supposes it takes the guesswork out of things. She’s fine with Veronica taking the lead. Less complicated that way, really.

“I’m going to jump in the shower. I won’t be long.” Veronica slips out of sight and Lena has nothing to do but wait and ponder.

9 months . Eventually it won’t feel this stiff, that much she knows. But she can’t help but feel bitter at the fact that it would have been a delight to spend this much time with someone else. Someone blonde and sunny and so unbelievably kind.

“I find that it’s best to sleep together right away, up front. It will break the ice,” Veronica’s voice interrupts her thoughts far quicker than Lena expects. She walks toward her wrapped in a towel, holding her AI in her hand. “If you’re okay with that, of course.”

“Right, of course,” Lena nods along dumbly. That’s one way to get to it. Veronica’s collarbones peek out from under the soft white towel, and a heat simmers in Lena’s core.

“It will give us an early overview of compatibility, let the system get what data it needs. We’re together for the next 9 months, but we shouldn’t waste it wondering.” She shrugs, and swipes at her AI. “So, that being said, I’m going to go ahead and consent to everything. When you’re comfortable, you can go ahead and do the same.”

Lena watches her, and a small spark of irritated competitiveness takes over. So far, this is working like a business deal, and Lena is not one to be outmatched at the negotiation table. Veronica is aesthetically pleasing, and that will be enough to scratch the itch for the time being. She silently takes out her AI and hits the button as well. She looks up with a smirk and Veronica’s eyes flash in pleasure.

Game on.

xxxxxxxx

Kara arrives at the restaurant right on time, and finds her table with no incident. It’s getting easier, now, and she feels significantly less nervous than the last time. Part of her feels less compelled to make a fantastic impression, really, because it’s going to be hard for someone to top all the feelings she had with Lena. It's like she already knows that type of connection doesn't come around very often, and it's overwhelming and amazing all at once. So she sits and waits, and waits, and waits some more, until finally the waiter appears with her pre-selected food. She doesn’t think to stop him, because her date is late, and she’s starving, and honestly, nothing good comes from being hungry.

Eventually, a plain looking man with an interesting patch of facial hair that Kara supposes is a beard walks up to the table. He watches her with a curious expression, and points down at her plate.

“You didn’t wait?” he says by way of greeting, and for a second, Kara thinks he’s joking. She smiles and adjusts her glasses and actually chuckles, until she realizes he’s still staring at her with a serious face.

“Oh! I’m uh-- I’m sorry. I  was hungry, and you weren’t here. They sort of just brought my food, and who can turn down something delicious?” she smiles expecting him to reciprocate, but he simply shakes his head. She clears her throat. “I’m Kara, by the way.”

“Mike,” he murmurs, looking around the restaurant and avoiding Kara’s eyes. She assumes he’s trying to track down the waiter, but instead she catches him smirking at a girl several tables down. It’s only irritating because it’s smug, and Kara feels a little annoyed by his obvious self indulgence. Fortunately, a waiter appears with a plate a few minutes later, and it brings his attention back to the table.

Kara finds it interesting that he doesn’t offer an explanation for why he’s late, but she doesn’t feel like asking him. The date is already off to a rousing start, and she worries that they might get into a full on argument before even checking expiration dates. That kind of thing should be saved for cohabitation, surely.

“Alright, let’s get on with it,” Mike says abruptly, pulling the AI out of his suit pocket. He looks like he’s ready to race for the exit, and Kara chews thoughtfully before realizing what he’s talking about.

“Oh! Expiration dates. Right!” She pulls hers out and they tap on their individual screens in tandem.

1 year. Okay. Kara gulps.

“We’ve got each other for 1 year,” she says, and she tries to smile. Maybe this won’t be the worst. Her gut tells her that actually, no, this really will be the worst. It already sort of is. Just like when you're meeting someone significant, the same rules apply when you meet someone totally and completely wrong. Sometimes you just know.

“Is this a mistake?” Mike immediately calls into his device, and Kara’s cheeks flush with embarrassment.

This is not a mistake.

Mike immediately pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation and closes his eyes like he’s in physical pain. Kara simply sits and watches.

“Sorry, it’s not you, it’s just I’m still deciding about this whole monogamy thing. It’s awfully boring. I don’t think I’m meant for it. I like to share the love, you know what I mean?”

No, she doesn’t know what he means, because he doesn’t seem capable of loving one person, let alone multiple, but she nods and shrugs and pretends like she gets it.

“There will be a reason, don’t worry!” she tries to offer comfort, more for herself than for his benefit. “On the bright side, there’s potstickers!”

“What?” he asks, shooting her a completely uninterested look.

Kara points to her plate but her smile falters as he looks more confused than ever.

“It was… I’m just kidding, you know, the food...nevermind.” She sighs dejectedly and pokes at her food.

“Oh, that was your version of humor. Good to know.”

Several hours and more passive aggressive insults than she cares to count later, Kara rolls over in bed and stares at the ceiling. Mike is passed out, completely spent after a round of dismal sex, which leaves Kara wondering about a lot of things, truthfully. But the silence is a relief, because it only takes a night to know that Mike is condescending and unpleasant in general, and this is already starting to feel like a prison sentence more than a relationship. She turns over and picks up her AI, only to see the flashing “365 days” happily mocking her.

“So I can’t just walk away?” Kara yells at her AI days later, smashing the squash ball against the wall with all her might. She feels like she could punch through steel, but unfortunately the only thing she can do is swat a rubber ball at a cement block for a few hours.

That is correct. One day it will provide you with the ultimate match.

Kara smashes the ball angrily, sending it skyrocketing and ricocheting off every corner of the small court she’s occupying.

“One day!” she scoffs, panting now from her exertion, and all her stress at this impossible situation. “One day.” she says, and she shakes her head as her shoulders slump in defeat.

Later that night, she stares at the ceiling and thinks about someone else’s smile, and the teasing tone in her voice, and the way she held her hand all night without any expectation or pressure. Just calm, gentle comfort.

Kara tries with all her might not to cry.

(She fails.)

xxxxxxxx

The sex is good. Not earth shattering, not mind blowing, but good. Satisfying. It’s a surface level attraction with someone who is clearly experienced with all that . Lena lays awake and her body feels temporarily sated, which makes this time together a little easier to swallow. She tries to ignore Veronica’s smug smile, and the annoying way she rolls her eyes at all of Lena’s comments, and the way she calls everything “passé”. Who says that, anyway? Lena knows next to nothing about Veronica’s background, but clearly it’s enough for her to think everyone and everything is beneath her. It’s such a pretentious and unnecessary word 90% of the time, which becomes a full 100% considering they now live together. With cohabitation, everything is automatically magnified and written in bold and underlined twice.

Come to think of it, living with romantic partners is just that. Passé.

Lena actually laughs to herself at the irony of it all. This isn’t the worst situation she’s ever been in, but this definitely isn’t ideal. She can’t wait for them to go their separate ways, but she can only thank her lucky stars that an expiration date is coming at all.

Several days later, Veronica and Lena attend a pairing day celebration for one lucky couple that the system has matched together. It’s a great excuse to get out of their closed up quarters and mingle with others without being forced into a relationship with them. Lena is thankful for the break from all the up close and personal contact with Veronica, who she has decided she can barely tolerate. She holds Lena’s hand with such a limp, disinterested grip that Lena wants to squeeze her fingers and shake them into life. Act like you care about something other than yourself, for fuck’s sake. She almost says it, too, but that just means she cares, and honestly, she really doesn’t. As a result, Lena finds herself feeling terribly broody, which is not how she wants to come off to others, but she can’t help it and doesn’t have the energy to try.

The happily paired couple is standing on the grass and there’s a crowd gathering around them. Lena makes her way to the front and stares at a girl with long, tangled hair and glasses that practically cover her face. She’s grinning from ear to ear, perfectly content, standing next to a boy with a baby face and a brady bunch haircut. The picture of perfect soulmates. Lena suppresses a laugh.

“So I’d just like to say, have faith in the system, because it DOES deliver! It did for us!” she squeals, and her partner stands there with the same dopey smile. They grab each other’s hands and giggle together, as if this is the most hilarious, wonderous thing, and Lena watches them in total amusement.

“You have so many experiences and then one day -- it pairs you up with your ultimate match! The best in show!”

Lena actually snorts at this. She can’t help it. While it may be that the system is tried and true, she can’t believe they couldn’t find anyone else to advertise for its success. If this is what she’s going to look like when this is all said and done, well, maybe she really is better off alone.

“Woof, woof woof!” the guy responds, and the girl in the glasses points at him and oh, how she laughs. Everyone around Lena starts to clap.

Or maybe she’d be better off dead.

Later on, after the sun goes down, there’s an elaborate spread of food for all the attendees. Lena takes leave of Veronica and starts to wander, before she catches the sight of familiar blonde locks and steady hands piling a plate with more food than necessary. Her heart flutters as she makes her way over, tapping Kara on the shoulder and barely containing the huge smile on her face. Kara turns and her face lights up in that way she has, and Lena forgets to breathe.

“Hey!” Kara says cheerfully. Her cheeks are stuffed with something fried, Lena guesses. It’s still not charming, or smooth, or anything of the sort, but honestly, what a relief it is.

“Hi there,” Lena replies. “Was that--?” she points at Mike’s retreating form, who seems to be stomping away angrily. Or maybe that’s just how he walks. Lena doesn’t like him already, and she doesn’t care if she doesn’t know him. It doesn’t matter.

Kara nods, and points. “Mike,” she says with her mouth full, and Lena nods knowingly.

“He seems nice,” she says, and she’s lying through her teeth. She wonders if Kara knows this, but she seems more concerned with her plate than anything else.

A few seconds later, Kara is coughing, and it almost seems like she’s choking, but Lena knows her games.

“Kara!” Lena laughs, shaking her head. “Kara, stop teasing!”

Kara looks at her again, her eyes wide and watering, and Lena swallows thickly.

“Oh God, this is really happening isn’t it? Okay, it’s okay!” Lena swats her on the back a few times and Kara finally coughs up the impeding object and launches it crassly onto Lena’s shoe.

“Thanks!” Kara finishes meekly, wiping her mouth and taking a breath. Her cheeks are as red as rubies, and Lena can’t even process everything that is happening. “You’re uh-- you’re looking well!”

“Thanks. Erm, I’d return the compliment, but you literally just spit food all over my shoe,” Lena deadpans, looking down at the ground in offense. Kara’s eyes follow her gaze, but when Lena looks up again, Kara is actually smirking.

“Well, those are hideous shoes,” she counters, and Lena’s own cheeks grow hot with the challenge. Her jaw hangs as she shakes her head. Same old Kara.

“Hideous shoes that I’m about to kick you with!” she exclaims, and she actually does. She literally winds up and kicks Kara in the shin, which is undignified and completely unlike her in any way. But it’s hysterical. It’s stupid and funny and God, why does Kara make her crazy?

Kara’s eyes are as large as saucers as she stares at Lena in shock.

“Oh God, that was actually hard! I’m so sorry!” Lena clutches Kara's arm, completely horrified.

“Ouch?” Kara’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as she smiles wider. “Now I know why you wear those weapons on your feet!”

“I didn’t mean to do that!” Lena insists, but Kara is already laughing, and Lena feels the tension leave her body.

She grabs Kara’s shoulder and leans in to steady herself as the laughter wracks her body. She hasn’t laughed like this in months, and her stomach hurts from the sensation. Kara’s head is on her shoulder as she also struggles to contain herself, but that just causes Lena to erupt into more laughter. The tears are flowing down her cheeks, and she forgets why exactly they’re laughing in the first place, only that they both can’t seem to control themselves and she doesn’t even want to try. She feels free and uncontained and hopeful, and it’s all over a pair of hideous shoes and a clumsy, happy blonde.

She doesn’t think about anything else, or care about anyone else except this perfectly stupid, perfectly delightful, perfectly amazing singular moment.

xxxxxxxx

Will this ever stop happening to her?

It’s Lena’s fault, really. She sneaks up on Kara, with her gorgeous face, and mischievous smile, and her long eyelashes and of course Kara can’t remember how to swallow. She’s too busy trying to remember how to function, let alone do anything else, and God, has Lena always been this beautiful? Kara decides she needs at least a five minute warning before looking at Lena’s face from now on, because otherwise she really might combust. Or choke to death.

But after Lena saves her from suffocating on a mozzarella stick -- only the second most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her -- Kara is so overjoyed at their small reunion that everything else fades away. Her anger at Mike, her frustration with the system, her loneliness, all gone in the blink of swirling green eyes.

Their laughing fit is unceremoniously interrupted by a tall, elegant woman who comes strolling to Lena’s side, sliding her arm around her waist and sneering at Kara.

“Oh! Kara, this is--” Lena pauses to catch her breath from laughing, and it gives Kara enough time to stare at the woman in front of her. She’s beautiful, with perfectly chiseled cheekbones, and she seems like the perfect fit for someone of Lena’s caliber. “Veronica. Veronica, this is Kara.”

“Hi!” Kara says. She waves at Veronica, who simply regards her like something sticky and undesirable beneath her shoe.

“We were together for a...bit. Short time, really.” Lena explains to Veronica, before looking back at Kara.

“Very short,” Kara agrees, and she catches Lena’s eye as if that’s their own private joke, too. It is, in a way. It seems like they both feel the same way about the time. Too short in their case, far too long in others.

“Before you and I,” Lena gestures to the two of them and offers Kara an apologetic smile.

“Charmed,” Veronica nods at her in disinterested fashion, taking a sip of champagne.

“So you two then? You make a fantastic looking couple!” Kara manages to fake a smile, because it really is true. They’re the definition of glamour, and their prominent features compliment each other dramatically. Kara is suddenly self-conscious about the fact that she actually did just spit on Lena’s shoes a moment ago. It was funny until she was forced to take in the picture of high society, with Veronica and Lena standing in front of her like actual Vogue fashion models.

The happily paired couple goes running to their rickshaw and the guests at the party begin clapping at their departure. Lena turns and claps along with them, and suddenly the crowd is dispersing, and everyone is leaving, and Kara is forced back to reality. Lena waves goodbye, but her eyes stay on Kara’s even as she’s walking away. Her expression is unreadable, but Kara thinks she detects a flicker of sadness. Either that, or she’s simply projecting her own feelings on the situation. Still, she waves weakly back. It shouldn’t always feel like this, but it does. It really does.

Kara sulks all the way home, and probably for the next few days, but she refuses to acknowledge time anymore unless she can make it pass quicker. She and Mike have fallen into a pattern of constant arguing, but she’s so tired of it that she eventually gives in and just starts agreeing with him. It isn’t worth the struggle, not really. Their expiration date will come.

And it does. 365 agonizing days later, Kara finds herself standing outside the apartment, as far away from Mike as she can get, watching the seconds tick down on her AI. She has never been so grateful for time to pass than in this moment, and when it ends, and Mike turns to say goodbye, she simply runs away.

“Well, I learned what it’s like to live with someone I can’t stand, and who can’t stand me, so is that useful for the system?” Kara asks later, sitting on a hill overlooking the lake. She’s emotionally drained, and feeling feisty, but the only person she can spar with is an annoyingly robotic AI.

Everything happens for a reason.

Kara used to think so, too. Now it almost seems beaten out of her. She scoffs at the AI’s penchant for delivering pre-packaged lines and saddles up for another relationship as the notification goes off.

xxxxxxxx

The 9 months finally pass, and Lena practically runs from the apartment as soon as she’s allowed. Veronica offers nice parting words, but Lena can only mumble a ‘thanks, take care’ before she’s in the rickshaw and clambering toward the hull. She knows her AI will have another relationship selected far too soon, but she’s already got her fingers crossed that it won’t be as long as this one.

True to form, that same day, she gets another notification. She sighs reluctantly, but she gets herself dressed, and goes to the same restaurant, and waits at a booth for another date. Her name is Sam, and she’s got beautiful brown eyes, and a kind, gentle face. And, as luck would have it, Lena’s prayers are answered because there’s no investment. They only have 36 hours together. Perfect.

Their time is simple and fun, with no expectations and no strings. Sam is thoughtful, and more down to Earth than Veronica, so Lena finds herself pleasantly cheered up. In another world, in another time, they may even be friends.They part ways with a hug and a smile.

The cycle repeats with another 36 hour fling.

“I’m Lena,” Lena introduces herself, sticking out her hand in greeting.

“I’m whoever you want me to be,” says the stranger, who kisses her hand and offers a wink. Her name turns out to be Sara and she’s blonde and charming in ways that leave even someone as stoic as Lena a little breathless. Her abdominals have abdominals, and Lena’s head is spinning by the end of it, but in a pleasant way that somehow gives her a little peace of mind before they’re forced to part.

“Take care of yourself, Lena,” Sara says with a knowing smile and a twinkle in her eye when it all comes to an end. “Things will work out for you. I’m sure of it.”

“Can I borrow that confidence?” Lena asks, and Sara kisses her cheek before their time expires.

Lena walks into the restaurant yet again, and even with her recent string of semi-success, she feels like she’s stuck on autopilot. The same flings, the same restaurant, the same apartment. The same motions, all lather, rinse, repeat. She’s tired, and starting to wonder when it will all pay off. She glances around the room until she’s struck by wavy blonde hair and dark rimmed glasses. Kara is here, too, and she’s staring down at the table with such a forlorn expression that Lena wants to skip her date entirely and go to her. She’s never seen Kara look so low, but of course, how would she know? They’ve only spent 12 hours together.

Is that really all the time they had? Sometimes Lena forgets it was indeed that short. She just feels like she knows her. Kara’s face tugs at her heartstrings, and she decides that she’s going to at least say hi, even if it’s not her final destination for the evening.

She looks back at her AI and her heart practically jumps from her chest. Kara’s face is reflected back at her, and Lena practically skips to the table before the machine can decide it’s a mistake.

“Hey stranger,” she says, and she stands expectantly, waiting for Kara to look up. When she does, she’s still frowning, until a look of recognition dawns on her face. It’s soon replaced by a 100-watt smile, and Lena’s stomach flips.

“Hi!” Kara stands immediately, keeping the silverware on the table this time, and opens her arms for a hug. Lena falls into them and wraps her arms tightly around Kara. She’s warm and firm and Lena fits perfectly against her. She sighs as Kara speaks. “Is this right?”

“I didn’t think the system would put us together again,” Lena muses as she reluctantly detaches herself and goes to sit down.

“No me either,” Kara agrees as she sits down. “I mean, I hope it’s right, obviously!”

“Oh, obviously,” Lena rolls her eyes and smiles, and Kara grins. She leans down and taps her AI, her heart hammering steadily. “Coach, is this the right table?”

That is correct .

Finally. It's like she can breathe again.

They sit and stare at each other with cheesy smiles and Lena allows the sense of relief to wash over her. Kara reaches for her AI and Lena holds out her hand.

“Can we just-- can we not do that yet? The expiration dates. I’m just… I’m sick of it,” she says with a fluttering hand, and Kara puts hers away slowly.

“Of course. We don’t have to look,” Kara’s eyes soften, and Lena is so thankful for everything that she is.

“I just feel like I’m going through the motions, you know? It’s been short fling after short fling, and they’re all meaningless. I know they’re short, so I don’t get invested, and then I’m just sitting there barely participating. Don’t get me wrong, at first they’re fun,” Lena bites her lip, and she takes pleasure in the fact that it sends Kara reaching for her water. “But after awhile? It’s just the same thing over and over. I’m so disengaged it’s like I’m watching myself from across the room just go at it. There’s no fulfillment.”

“That’s pretty detached,” Kara agrees. She runs her fingers over the top of her glass as she contemplates. “Long term things are just as bad, though. It’s like...watching the clock like you’re a prisoner. Counting the hours, counting the minutes. That’s not how I want to live. I really thought I might go crazy.”

“God, I’ve been there.” Lena nods sympathetically.

“Yeah, let’s not check the expiration date, then.” Kara nods in approval.

“It’s a deal.” Lena holds out her hand, and Kara smiles as she takes it in her own.

“Deal.”

Can lightning strike twice? Lena looks at the way the soft light dances across Kara’s face, illuminating her already too-bright smile, and she promises herself that this time, they’ll do things right.

xxxxxxxx

Lena.

The evening started with very little hope of working out, and turned drastically in her favor when those familiar green eyes peered down at her, swirling with all kinds of promising mischief. Kara still cannot believe her fortune as they head to the apartment, both blissful in their ignorance at the ticking time clock over their heads.

After the time she had to spend with Mike, Kara is convinced this is heaven.

They walk into the apartment, and Kara instinctively turns to her left. Her eyes land on the plain, dull, boring lamp, and she smiles like she’s greeting an old friend.

“They still have your lamp.” Kara points and Lena looks back at it before rolling her eyes and laughing. It’s a signature snarky Lena move that Kara thinks she might always find attractive.

“It’s a good lamp, Kara. I’m sorry I can’t say the same for your tastes,” she retorts with a sarcastic snarl, one that would be intimidating if she didn’t scrunch her nose and smile at the very last minute.

“And here I thought you were going to go a whole night without insulting me!” Kara pushes back and Lena shakes her head.

They walk into the bedroom, neither one bothering to turn on a light. They stand across from each other in the dark, and Kara can’t figure out for the life of her how she’s going to get through this. Not in a bad way. No, not at all. But it’s Lena now, and that means that every movement actually means something. It has always meant something.

“I suppose we should get to it then,” Lena says casually, gesturing to the bed. She raises her perfectly manicured eyebrow in jest and looks at Kara with a pointed lip bite.

“Are you always this romantic?” Kara asks, looking over her glasses at Lena’s face. She’s happy she can even put together a sentence, considering Lena is looking at her like a second meal. Kara feels like she’s pulsing under her gaze, and she clenches her jaw to keep herself from completely exploding.

“No, normally I spit on people’s shoes first.”

Their verbal sparring is so second-nature that Kara can’t believe they’re still technically barely acquaintances. They somehow know how to test boundaries without going too far, because Kara just feels the underlying amount of affection Lena holds for her. She can see it in her eyes, and she knows it because of the way Lena smiles at her like she really means it.

“I am sorry about that, by the way.” Kara smiles sheepishly, and Lena waves her off with a smile. “But you’re right, we probably should get on with it. We don’t know how much time we have, after all,” Kara says, pointing to the bed. As if she needs an excuse to want to sleep with Lena, of all people. But it’s true, their time could be running out, and didn’t Lena say if they ever crossed paths again she could “get it”? Kara’s pretty sure she knows what it is.

“Right. It could be ten minutes. Do you think you can last ten minutes?” Lena smirks.

“Oh, real nice, Lena!” Kara scoffs, and Lena shrugs as if it’s a perfectly reasonable question.

“I think one of us should get undressed first,” Lena suggests, crossing her arms and tilting her head. She looks at Kara like she’s waiting for something.

“Why?” Kara narrows her eyes, not quite understanding what Lena is hinting at. There’s no way she’s about to be the only one naked. She’s embarrassed herself enough in front of Lena to last several lifetimes.

“It’ll be funny, of course.”

“Alright, go ahead.” Kara gestures at her. She stares at the curves of her body, and the way her dress is hugging her hips, and she swallows thickly. It’s all fun and games until that fabric comes off.

“Oh, no no. See, it was my idea, you have to do it.” Lena looks at her smugly.

They hold each other’s stare for a few seconds, neither one wanting to give in, until Kara finally caves. She knows when she’s met her match in stubbornness, and Lena is an admirable opponent. Firm and intimidating and too attractive for her own good. Kara turns her back to her and begins to unbutton her shirt.

“This is embarrassing!” she complains, her fingers clumsily trying to work while she can feel Lena’s eyes intensely staring at her. She remembers the way Veronica looked when standing next to Lena, and even though Kara knows her body is nothing to feel ashamed about, she feels self conscious nonetheless.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Lena’s voice is low and throaty, and Kara almost pops the button on her shirt. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“If I recall, it was your underwear that we talked about on our first date,” Kara turns and points a finger at Lena, the other still resting on her shirt, which is half open and leaving her black bra exposed.

“And now it’ll be your underwear on our second,” Lena says, taking a step closer to Kara. “Don’t worry, Kara. You’ll still get to see mine. And if you play your cards right, you’ll see more.”

“Oh, don’t you worry--” Kara begins to say, before warm, full lips are pressed against her own. Her stomach does a backflip and her hands immediately find Lena’s waist. She’s pushing her against a wall and kissing her forcefully with everything she has before she can even register what’s happening.

I’m kissing Lena .

It seems like an impossible dream, one Kara wouldn’t even allow herself to fully imagine when she was stuck with Mike, because she was sure there’d be no point. It would only add to the madness, the hopeless feeling of never being fulfilled. She crossed paths with Lena once, and the system took her away, and then just like that, she’s here, and she’s real, and oh, she’s even more fantastic than Kara could have ever imagined.

Her skin is the definition of soft and pristine, and her body fits around Kara’s like a custom fit glove. She’s all curves and silk where Kara is definition and steel, and her touch lights a fire in Kara’s chest that she’s sure will never go out.

She wakes up the next morning with Lena curled into her side, her arm draped over her stomach, her lips pressed to her neck. Kara can’t remember a time she’s ever been happier, and she looks down at the picture of perfection next to her and kisses her forehead gently. She studies Lena’s face, and kisses the faded laugh lines that are visible when she’s relaxed, and traces the indentations from her porcelain cheekbones, and she smiles.

Lena opens her eyes, and her hand finds Kara’s, and they lay there wrapped up in each other for hours.

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Worth it. All of it is worth it for this moment. Veronica, Sam, Sara, all of it. Because now there’s Kara, and now there’s them , and if Lena never gets in another relationship as long as she lives, she’ll always have the memory of this.

It’s almost enough to make her forget how exhausting this has all been, and how deep down, she’s still questioning the system. Here she is, with Kara, who she is perfectly content to spend an immeasurable amount of time with, and yet, she’s still waiting for her so-called ultimate match. She wants to believe in probabilities and sequences, in formulas and logic. But the more she continues down this path, and the more she looks at Kara and allows herself to feel , the less she begins to understand.

“What if there is no formula? No real rhyme or reason to this system at all? What if they’re just putting us together in any random order, and we all go along with it because they’re always telling us how clever it is?” Lena asks one day, out of the blue, when she feels like she can’t keep it inside any longer.

They’re walking arm in arm around the lake, and Kara is quiet and so easy to talk to that Lena finds herself ready and able to ramble. She used to be able to keep her thoughts close to the vest and buttoned up, but there’s something about Kara’s presence that definitely gives her the propensity to overshare.

“Yeah, but, it does put people with the one,” Kara says, allowing Lena to pull her forward and up the stairs of the gazebo in the park. “It’s got a 99.8% success rate.”

“But how do you know they’re perfect matches? I mean, what if all it’s doing is gradually wearing us down? Aren’t you tired?” Lena turns and faces her as she talks.

“I was,” Kara agrees, before looking at Lena with that smile. “I’m not as much anymore.”

Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s neck and pulls her close.

“You’re sweet, but I’m serious. What if all it’s actually doing is putting us in one relationship after another at random intervals in a random sequence, each time forcing you to get a little more pliable and a little more broken? It takes the fight out of you until one day it presents you with the final offering, the perfect match, and by then, you’re so defeated that you just accept it? You settle for it, and then, you spend the rest of your life convincing yourself that you didn’t. What then, hm?”

“Wow, that’s honestly the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kara smiles and kisses her, and for a second, Lena forgets to feel so depressed. “Do you want to hear my theory?”

Lena nods.

“I don’t think the system is random at all. Let’s say it’s as sophisticated as they say it is. I think it takes these--” Kara reaches for her AI and flips it over in her hands, waving it at Lena. “And it builds a complex profile using all the data it can get. All your crazy thoughts, all your dreams and weaknesses, all your experiences. All your theories. It’s all in here. Now, if it’s everything in your head, does it have thoughts?”

“Well, let me ask you this, right,” Lena rests her hands on Kara’s shoulders. It all sounds preposterous when spoken out loud, and part of her wants to make a joke out of it, because she can see where Kara’s going with it all. She grabs on to her shoulders and shakes her slightly in a fake panic. “What if it has thoughts and we’re all stuck in a simulation?”

“How would we know?” Kara shrugs seriously, and Lena stares at her. It’s far-fetched and improbable, and Lena quickly pinches Kara’s ribs causing her to yelp in surprise. “Ouch! Hey!” she laughs, swatting Lena away.

“I think that settles it, don’t you?” Lena grins, turning to continue walking. “You felt that!”

“You don’t know, I could be programmed to say ‘ouch’!” Kara says, holding her arms out.

“Okay, sure,” Lena says, fluttering her hand dismissively. She turns away fully and starts walking, leaving Kara to chase after her. It doesn’t take long before she feels strong hands grabbing at her waist from behind, confidently but carefully, until Kara is spinning her around and laughing. They spin and spin, until Kara turns her to face forward, and she’s kissing her deeply and holding her tightly in her arms.

Lena doesn’t care anymore if the system is a complete sham because this is still the happiest she’s ever been.

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It’s the first time Kara’s lived with someone and it hasn’t been a total disaster. In fact, it’s completely seamless. Lena is respectful, and quiet, and neat, and Kara is pretty sure her favorite thing to do is read and curl up into Kara’s side. She likes all the versions of Lena she’s gotten to meet, but this version -- the dressed down, comfortable Lena who speaks in a soft voice and really likes it when Kara plays with her hair -- might just be her favorite. She probably won’t ever get Lena to admit these little vices, but just having her silently press into Kara and hum in appreciation when Kara’s fingers start working through her long, black hair is reward enough.

Instead of trying to avoid each other at every turn, Kara finds herself gravitating to Lena like a magnet, no matter where she is in the house. She just likes the sense of comfort she feels when she’s next to her, even if they aren’t necessarily talking. Kara likes the reminder that she’s real .

Later on, they’re both in the bathtub, covered in bubbles, Lena laughing as she scoops a handful of soap and places it on Kara’s head in order to form a crown. Kara leans forward to grab some of her own, and her head knocks into Lena’s nose, and they crumble into soapy hysterics at their awkward movements that aren’t awkward at all but simply theirs . Lena turns around and lays back against Kara, and Kara rubs her shoulders and kisses her neck and whispers compliments into her ear.

It’s simple and magical all at the same time. So naturally, this blissful contentment can’t last forever.

The AI sits ominously, and it seems to be perched everywhere Kara looks. It’s constantly peeking at her from her bedside table, and weighing heavily in her jacket pocket. It’s an omen, a spell, a bad, horrible, curse, and Kara can’t seem to get away from it no matter how hard she tries. No matter how badly her and Lena want to ignore it, there’s an expiration date to this domestic getaway. They aren’t meant to last forever, and the longer they prolong the inevitable, the harder it gets for Kara to play along. She knows she’s in too deep, now. She’s invested, and she cares about Lena so much and…

Oh, no. No, it can’t be. She can’t be in love with her, can she?

But the system hasn’t paired her yet, and this relationship is going to end, and oh, my God, she loves her.

Kara jolts up in bed at the realization, her heart pounding so loudly she’s convinced it will wake Lena up in a second. She glances over nervously, but Lena’s breaths are calm and even, her chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm. Kara slowly slides out of bed and grabs the AI to take with her. She starts to pace furiously around the apartment, toying with the mobile device in her hand. They made a promise. They even shook on it. But how is she supposed to go on like this? How can she continue to fall deeper in love with Lena without knowing how much time is left?

“Coach?” Kara whispers into the AI, searching the apartment warily for any signs of Lena waking up.

Hello Kara.

“I need to know,” Kara says, keeping her voice low.

What would you like to know?

“The expiration date. Me and Lena. I need to know how long.”

The AI says nothing.

“Are you not going to talk me out of it?”

Would you like me to talk you out of it?

“Yes--uh. No. No, I don’t.”

The AI flashes. The screen reads: Tap to reveal.

Kara places it out of her view and stares at the ceiling. No, she shouldn’t do this. They said they wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be right.

Kara waits a few more minutes. She breathes heavily. She closes her eyes. She just can’t go on like this. She pulls the AI out and taps the screen before she can stop herself.

5 years.

Kara nods to herself. It isn’t a perfect answer, but it’s good. It’s...okay. She can do that. She turns to look at the bedroom where Lena is still sound asleep and she smiles. They still have time.

The AI buzzes.

Recalibrating.

3 years .

Kara taps at the screen furiously. “Coach?” she asks, continuing to tap. Her heart rate begins to speed up. What the hell? “Coach what’s happening? It’s getting shorter!”

Recalibrating.

18 months.

“Coach!” Kara cries out, running with the AI and stepping outside where she won’t be heard. The device continues to beep and make noise as the green and red rings swirl in recalibration.

One-sided observation has destabilized the expiration date.

“Because I looked at it on my own, it made it shorter?” Kara asks in a panic.

That is correct.

“Why!?”

Everything happens for a reason.

2 months.

“Make it go back! Undo it!”

I cannot do that.

Recalibrating.

“What if she looks at it? Then what?” Kara is frantic now.

Once shortened, the expiration date cannot be extended.

“Why?!”

Everything happens for a reason.

3 weeks.

“Stop! Please stop!”

20 hours.

The AI finally stops and begins a countdown from 20 hours. Kara stares at the clock in disbelief, her heart pounding in her chest. Why did she have to look? How could she have been so utterly stupid? She just ruined everything, and in 20 hours, she’s going to have to lose Lena for the second time. They could have had 5 years. 5 years!

She feels like she’s just been punched in the stomach, as she hunches over and tries to catch her breath. The tears fall fast and hot, and she tries to stifle the agonized sobs that tear through her body with no remorse.

When she calms down enough to reenter the house, she feels so incredibly numb she can’t stand it. The threat of losing Lena is so palpable now, and it’s ticking in her hands, something she can actually touch and see, and she hates it. She hates it with everything she has. She finally drags herself to the bedroom and manages to crawl back into bed carefully, keeping her back to Lena because she knows if she looks at her right now, she won’t be able to stop crying. Lena turns over in her sleep and wraps her arms around Kara’s waist, squeezing slightly before falling back under. Kara couldn’t feel more guilty or more destroyed if Lena had sat up and slapped her. In fact, that might be preferable to what’s going to happen tomorrow.

She doesn’t sleep again.

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There’s something different when Lena wakes up. Kara is distant. She’s stiff and almost cold, which is completely not her Kara. It’s like a switch has flipped and she’s just a distracted shell of a person instead of her usual warm, gentle self. Lena catches her staring out the window, her shoulders slumped and her face wearing the same troubled expression she had the night they were re-matched. She walks over to her and wraps her arms around her waist from behind, but Kara’s muscles tense where they usually give, and her smile falters where it usually shines. Lena kisses her cheek and Kara clenches her jaw, as if Lena’s touch is a source of pain.

“Is everything okay?” Lena asks, turning to face Kara fully. Her eyes look startlingly blue, which Lena is learning means something is very, very wrong, but she watches as Kara forces a smile and nods.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m good,” she says, and Lena knows she’s lying, but she doesn’t push it.

They head to the park the way they always do, but Kara is uncharacteristically lethargic instead of radiant and full of energy. Lena is used to her telling jokes, and making little quips and bantering with her at warp speed, but instead today she’s withdrawn and distracted and so melancholy that Lena doesn’t know what to do or say. They go to the lake and Lena skips stones across the water, and Kara merely watches.

Lena watches as every stone she tosses skips 4 times. The way it always does. No matter how many times she throws it. 4 perfect skips.

“Have you ever had more than 4 or less than 4?” she asks Kara, as she stares out over the lake. It’s curious, she thinks. 4 skips, every single time, without fail.

Kara doesn’t answer, and Lena turns to her.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks, and Kara just puts her hands in her pockets and shakes her head.

“Nothing,” Kara replies, and she takes a stone in her hand and skims it across the water. It bounces 4 times and sinks.

Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s waist, and rests her head on her shoulder. Kara doesn’t speak, but she rests her hand over Lena’s, and that, at least, is something.

They head to the hub, and Kara is increasingly becoming more agitated as the day goes on. They get to the bottom of the escalator and Lena feels the frustration boiling over inside of her.

“You know, you’re terrible at keeping things from me,” she says, turning to face Kara with her hands on her hips.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Kara hangs her head, and Lena just watches her.

She says nothing. She simply waits.

“I looked at it,” Kara finally says. Lena shakes her head uncomprehending and Kara just stares at her with the saddest looking face until suddenly it all makes sense. Lena’s heart drops.

“We had a deal,” Lena says, her voice low and calm. She can feel the anger building, but she’s forcing herself to stay in control by wringing her hands and clenching her jaw and practically willing herself to just handle it. She doesn’t want to yell, not at Kara. It hurts too much. “We shook on it.”

She’s disappointed that Kara went back on her word, but more importantly, she’s terrified, because if Kara’s face is in any indication, there’s more bad news to come.

“Well it’s almost done anyway.” Kara practically spits, and Lena can tell she’s annoyed. That only makes her feel a little better because at least the idea of leaving is upsetting Kara, too. For awhile Lena was thinking the issue had to do with her . So at least she still has that.

But why did Kara have to look?

“How almost done?” she asks quickly.

“We’ve got about an hour.” Kara looks up at her with remorse before her eyes shift back to the floor.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“I didn’t want to ruin today.”

“Right, like this hasn’t spoiled it.” Lena hisses through clenched teeth, feeling the tears welling behind her eyes. Her throat constricts and it’s just so much to process. She knew the expiration date would always be a thing, an eventual situation they’d have to face sooner or later, but she was really banking on later. She knew it was stupid but she just couldn’t fathom the idea of her and Kara ever ending. It felt impossible.

It still feels impossible. Kara is part of her now, in too many ways.

“It was supposed to be 5 years--” Kara starts, and Lena swears she can see her own rage.

“What?!”

“I looked at it, and when I did-- something happened,” Kara’s forehead crinkles in despair and she tilts her head as if willing Lena to understand. Begging her silently to get it. Lena just stares. “It started going down. I don’t know what it was…”

“So...you broke it? Is that what you’re saying?” Lena crosses her arms as tight as she can around her ribs, in order to contain the pieces of her heart that she feels shattering in her chest. Her fingers dig into the skin of her arm as she watches Kara struggle to explain.

“No! No, I mean. Maybe? I don’t know! I don’t know okay?”

“Why did you have to look at it?!”

“I was hoping that maybe we could...overcome it, somehow…” Kara takes a step toward her, almost pleading now. “We can ignore this, Lena!”

“Why did you have to look at it Kara?!” Lena repeats, her voice shaking now. She’s losing control rapidly and she doesn’t know what to do or say to make it stop.

“Because I love you!” Kara bursts. She stares at her with frantic, wide eyes and her hands are shaking and the muscles in her neck are pulsing with emotion. “I love you,” she repeats, softer this time. Defeated.

Lena feels sick.

“And what, that wasn’t enough?” she asks. She’s desperate to unravel this, to figure out something that they can do, but every solution is only a temporary fix. Every answer is a dead end.

“No, it wasn’t. I didn’t want to keep wondering when I’d have to lose you!” Kara exclaims, reaching forward and grabbing Lena by the waist.

“Kara…”

“Listen, I’m sorry I looked, but I still think we can defeat this. It’s you and me, Lena! We can beat it. What if-- what if we just ignore it?”

“We can’t! That’s the whole point! The system won’t allow it!” Lena argues. She glances over Kara shoulder and starts to become more aware of their surroundings. Or, namely, the strange looking people eyeing them suspiciously from every corner. There’s a couple coming down the escalator with grim looking faces, staring at them like they know what they’ve done. There’s another serious looking couple walking toward them, their faces expressionless and cold, a threatening air around them that sends a chill down Lena’s spine.

“We’ll ignore it!” Kara is still adamant, but Lena just feels broken.

“Oh, okay, and do what exactly?” she focuses back on Kara.

“We’ll jump over the wall. We’ll get out!”

The wall goes into the sky for miles and surrounds the city completely. No one has ever jumped the wall, because there is nothing beyond the city limits. There’s no life, there’s no hope. Just a total void. They’d surely be ruined if they tried.

“There is nothing out there, Kara!”

“How do you know?”

Lena frowns, because she hasn’t seen what’s beyond the wall with her own two eyes, but it’s just something accepted as fact. No one climbs the wall, because that’s just how it is here. They follow the system, and they obey the rules, and they don’t step out of line. It’s neat, and clean, and orderly, and fuck if it doesn’t hurt like hell.

“This has ruined us, don’t you get it?” Lena pulls herself from Kara’s grip and turns to walk away. She hears Kara’s footsteps as she starts to follow. Lena stops and looks to the sky, exhaling loudly before she whips around and points at her, stopping Kara dead in her tracks. “Don’t follow me, Kara. It’s only going to hurt more.” She turns around and continues to walk.

“Lena!” Kara cries out one last time. “Lena I’m sorry!”

She doesn’t know where to go or what to do, all she knows is that the tears are clouding her vision, and her stomach hurts so bad that when she rounds the corner out of sight she sinks to her knees and hunches over and screams into her hands.

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Kara can’t remember how she got here. She can’t remember much of anything, anymore. Her memory has always been a bit hazy as of late, but it’s never bothered her this much until now. Without Lena, she feels broken, and defeated, and she can’t remember the last time she felt this bad because -- well she can’t remember that, either. She doesn’t know how she got here, she doesn’t know where she came from, and she doesn’t know where she’s going. All she knows is she’s alone, sitting on the floor of her room, exhausted from all the crying.

Everything happens for a reason .

Kara wants to crack the AI into thousands of little pieces because then maybe, just maybe, it would start to resemble a little bit of the pain she feels. Everything happens for a reason, alright. If that reason is to suffer needlessly. 

The system will be assessing your reaction to the painful premature termination of a treasured relationship and will adjust and improve its profile of your eventual chosen one accordingly.

“Yeah, you’re a great comfort,” Kara sniffs, frowning through her tears. 

Thank you.

“I’m going to jump over that wall and take my chances in the wilderness! I hate it here! Do you hear me? I hate it!”

That would contravene the rules of the system. Failure to comply with the system may result in banishment.  

“To hell with the system!” Kara shouts, squeezing the AI so tightly she almost breaks it. She wants to, in the worst way. Instead she dissolves into more endless tears until she can’t possibly cry anymore.

You must vacate your current living quarters when the time expires.

“Like I didn’t already know!” Kara sobs at the AI in her hand.

Once the time expires, Kara just feels like a shell of a person, going about her daily life without any active interest in what’s going on around her. She feels like a spectator in her own life, going through the motions as each new relationship is presented to her. None of these people are right, none of them are Lena. She doesn’t care about them, or want to care about them. Maybe they’re nice, or smart, or funny, but they aren’t the right combination of any of it, and Kara actually finds herself wishing she could just be alone.

It’s a revolving door of nameless and faceless people, one after the other, nothing more than haircuts and smiles that Kara doesn’t even try to remember. She spends most of her time avoiding physical contact with any of them, and instead thinking about Lena and what she might be doing. The thought doesn’t do anything to comfort her, but the pain is the only way she knows she can still feel something.

She stares at the ceiling and reaches over to her nameless companion -- James, or is it Winn?-- and reaches for his hand. He’s asleep, and his hand is clumsy, and he doesn’t feel anything like Lena.

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The anger disappears as quickly as it comes. She doesn’t blame Kara, not really. In fact, if Kara hadn’t looked at the date, Lena knows she would have eventually cracked. Kara was just quicker to do it because she loves her. Oh, God. Kara loves her. The thought makes her nauseous, not because it’s repulsive, but because it’s exactly the feeling she’s harboring herself. Kara actually said it out loud, and even though it was horrible timing, the fact remains that she actually loves Lena.

And Lena, well, that’s simple. Lena has loved Kara since the very first day. 

She finds herself talking about Kara with every new person she meets, and she knows it’s wildly unattractive and terribly inappropriate, but she hardly has the capacity to care. These people don’t matter, they’ll never matter, because they aren’t her . They listen until they can’t listen anymore, and then they just dissolve into silence, and it’s one after the other after the other until Lena doesn’t even know how many people she’s been with since she’s last seen Kara.

Fortunately, she gets somewhat lucky, if you can call it that, when she meets a girl named Alex, who seems to be going through the same situation of her own. Misery, as it turns out, really loves company, and can sometimes make a decent substitute to loneliness for the heartbroken. Alex reminds her of Kara in the way that she’s honest, and quick witted, and has a softness to her eyes. She’s a bit rougher around the edges, but Lena knows she’s never going to find someone that will replace Kara, ever, so this will have to do. Alex tells her about Maggie, the girl she lost, and Lena tells her about Kara, and at the end of the night they’re curled in each other’s arms, their thoughts very clearly with someone else.

A few days later, it happens. The notification. The alert to end all alerts. The one.

Lena is swimming, trying to clear her mind of blue eyes and laughter lines, but failing spectacularly, when the AI goes off.

Congratulations, Lena. Your ultimate match has been identified. Your pairing day is tomorrow.

“Ultimate as in...the one?” Lena swallows heavily.

That is correct. Tomorrow you’ll be coupled with your ultimate match and together you will leave this place forever.

“Are you...allowed to tell me anything about them?” Lena asks weakly. Her knees are shaking. “Do I know them already?”

Negative. However, there is one more thing. Prior to pairing day, you have been allocated a short farewell period with an individual of your choosing.

“Farewell period? Like I get to say goodbye to someone?" 

That is correct. Data shows this can help provide--

“Kara!” Lena bursts immediately, interrupting the AI’s long winded spiel about psychological closure. “I choose Kara.” 

Your choice has been registered.

“Coach?”

Yes Lena?

“Count to 4,” she says, and she tosses the AI across the pool, watching it skip 4 times before sinking to the bottom.

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A farewell period. A chance to say goodbye. That ’s the notification Kara is focused on, not the one that tells her she’s been paired by the system to her ultimate match. The only thing she can focus on is one last moment to make it right. One more chance.

Kara sees that she’s been granted a chance to say goodbye to Lena, and that Lena must have chosen the same. This means that Lena must have been paired with someone, too. Someone who isn’t Kara. It makes Kara delirious with jealousy and sadness, and every other negative emotion under the sun. But the consolation prize is one final chance to see each other and say goodbye. One last send off.

Kara almost doesn’t go.

What’s the point? She’s had to lose Lena twice already. A third time might just break her for good. They’ve both played by the rules and now the system has rewarded them with their ultimate matches. Matches that aren’t with each other. So they’re both going to go off into the sunset with someone else , and why should Kara have to sit there and pretend it’s all okay? She shouldn’t.

She will. 

In the end, it’s Lena, and seeing her will always be better than not. So Kara gets up and gets dressed and goes to the hub for their meeting.

Kara sits at their table, the one they had for their first date, which is just another twist of the knife. She plays with a fork as she waits for Lena to arrive. She watches as Lena walks in, looking stunning and desperate and slightly wild as she marches up to her with long, fast strides. For a second, she thinks Lena still might be angry, and she might be coming to tell Kara off once and for all. But if that’s what she needs to do, then Kara isn’t going to try to stop her. She barely has a chance to stand up before Lena’s arms are around her neck and her lips are on hers and she’s in Kara’s arms.

 Is she dreaming? It’s Lena, and she’s here, and it’s everything, and somehow, Kara forgets what it means to even be sad.

They reluctantly break apart, but not before Kara can kiss her again and again and whisper how badly she’s missed her against her lips. Lena whimpers into their kiss and doesn’t really form words that Kara can hear, but Kara feels everything she doesn’t say and she holds on to it for dear life.

“How long do we have?” Lena asks breathlessly, as they take their seats in the booth, their shoulders still pressing against each other, as if leaving any space between them will break the spell. 

“I don’t know,” Kara says, tapping the AI. 2 minutes flashes across the screen. She bangs her fist on the table in frustration, which causes Lena to jolt next to her. “Sorry. Sorry I’m just-- I don’t want whoever the stupid system picked for me! I want you!”

“I want you.” Lena replies, staring into Kara’s eyes. Kara can feel the desperation in her voice and it makes her heart dip and flutter.

Failure to comply--

“You can fuck off!” Lena says, turning the AI over and ignoring it. Kara grins.

“Can you remember where you were before you came here?” Lena asks, taking Kara’s hands in her own. Her forehead is crinkled with worry, and she’s asking the very same thing Kara has been wondering for weeks. Kara stares at her, trying desperately to remember, but she’s silent. There’s nothing. Just empty space. A total void. “You can’t, can you?”

“No…” Kara shakes her head. “No I can’t. Why can’t I think of it?”

 “I can’t either. It’s a test. Do you remember the first night we were together?” 

“Of course I do, how could I forget?” Kara smiles, and the warmth blooms in her chest as she thinks about seeing Lena’s face for the first time. 

“How did you feel?” 

Kara chuckles. It’s such a warm memory, and at least this one she can savor. “I felt...happy. I was so safe, with you. Comfortable. It felt like something just locked into place, you know? Like we’ve met before…”

“Like it happened before, like it’ll happen again, like it’s happened before a thousand times, over and over and over again! Do you know what I mean?” Lena is animated now, her eyes wide and excited, like she’s trying to convey so much to Kara. And Kara knows . She feels it, too.

She chooses Lena. She will always choose Lena, because somehow, she’s already chosen her before.

“Yeah, I do,” Kara glances warily over her shoulder, looking around the restaurant. She starts to notice the other couples around them, and how once again, they’re staring with expressionless faces. She takes note of the guard who suddenly comes into view, his hand wrapped around something in his pocket as he frowns at them.

“Ever since we met, this world has been toying with us, trying to keep us apart. It’s a test, I’m telling you, Kara. And the two of us, rebelling against it together--” she wraps her hands around the back of Kara’s neck and pulls her close, “--has everything to do with passing it.”

“We have to go. We have to blow the whole thing off!” Kara whispers excitedly.

“Exactly, fuck the system! We can break it, Kara. We have to just...go…” Lena says, and she doesn’t care how crazy it sounds because she’s with Kara, and she knows somehow it will end up okay in the end. “Over the wall, together. 

“Over the wall, no matter what’s out there!” Kara exclaims, still keeping her voice low. She focuses on Lena’s face, which is just as determined as she feels.

“Yes, no matter what,” Lena nods seriously. “Let’s go, Kara. Please, let’s go!”

“Yes! Let’s go!” Kara smiles, and she takes Lena’s hand in hers, and she kisses it before pulling her to standing.

The time ticks down to zero, and they both look around at the other patrons of the restaurant. Everyone is still staring at them, like they’re some sort of dinnertime entertainment, only no one shows any emotion. They simply watch. Kara takes Lena by the hand and they begin to head for the exit. The guard begins to stalk forward menacingly, his taser out and pointed at them, ready to strike. They keep walking, and Kara positions herself so Lena is behind her, just in case the confrontation with the guard turns ugly. She reaches forward and places her hand right on the electric current of the gun, but instead of feeling a piercing shock, it simply fades into nothing. She stares at it in surprise, and her eyes flicker over the guard in triumph. She pushes the gun down and suddenly, everyone in the room freezes.

Everyone but her and Lena.

They might just get out of this after all.

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She hadn’t initially planned to run away with Kara, but the closer she got to the restaurant, the more it became obvious to her that it was the only solution. Lena has had it with the game, the system, the rules. She doesn’t care about order and logic anymore. She wants Kara. All of Kara, and all that it means to be with her. She wants the feelings, and the uncertainty and the excitement. She wants spontaneity and fun. She wants someone she loves. 

As they leave the restaurant, Kara positions herself between the threatening gun and Lena, and it’s exactly what Lena always knew she’d do. Kara will always protect her. Lena has known that since the very first day. She squeezes her hand as she watches Kara thwart the guard and push the taser out of the way. When everyone in the room freezes, she pulls Lena along and leads them out of the hub.

They run, and they run and they run some more. They race out of the restaurant, past the frozen bartender and frozen customers and frozen maitre’d. They amble down the frozen escalator, past all the frozen couples stuck on the stairs. Finally they’re running wild, across the fields, heading straight for the wall. Lena’s heart is pounding as she follows Kara, who is all blonde hair and fast legs and surprising physical strength, and Lena knows she’d follow her to the ends of the world, because isn’t that what she’s doing anyway?

They finally reach the wall, which is miles high and seemingly impossible to climb. There’s a ladder leading them to the top, but it’s tall and endless and Lena shivers in the night air. She hates heights, but she feels Kara’s hand, warm and steady in her own and it gives her a jolt of confidence.

“You go up first. This way I can make sure you don’t fall,” Kara says, turning to her with a patient, steady smile.

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?" 

Kara blushes and shakes her head. 

“I love you, too, you know.” Lena says, pulling Kara in close and resting her forehead against Kara’s. “I really love you, Kara.”

“I love you Lena,” Kara responds, shifting her head and using her height to her advantage. She kisses Lena’s forehead gently, and her lips are warm and soft against her skin. “Let’s get out of here.”

They begin the long climb, one hand over the other, higher and higher and higher until Lena gets the urge to look behind her. She glances around and notices that the landscape is shifting. The wild grass and the lights in the distance are all fading to pixelated versions of themselves before turning to an endless black. She looks back up the ladder and realizes they’re suddenly at the top, which seems oddly quick, but she doesn’t think to question it. She climbs the last few rungs and turns to pull Kara over with her. 

Instead of having to climb down the other side, they’re deposited into a black empty room, with a shiny black floor and black walls that looks like the holding hub of a spacecraft. Lena and Kara walk through it, hand in hand, surprised to find that they are not the only couple to rebel. Dozens of others are standing there looking around, holding each other, frantically wondering what comes next. A number pops up over their heads, and Lena looks around to see that there are numbers over each couple.

299. 405. 689. 700.

She squints her eyes and realizes that these aren’t just other couples. It’s her and Kara, over and over again, with different numbers over their heads each time. She looks above her head now and she sees the number 998 floating over them . Kara is looking around just as bewildered until each variation of Lena and Kara begins to fade in front of them. One by one they blur from focus and seem to get sucked up into the ceiling, adding to a total count that is projected on a big screen in front of them.

Eventually, they both get taken up into the sky, and their total simulation is tallied. The big board counts up the totals and displays the results.

1000 simulations completed.

998 rebellions logged.

xxxxxxxx

Kara has never used one of these dating app before, but a few of her friends have had some moderate success, and after weeks and weeks of them pressuring her to try it, she finally caved. The site says they have a tried and true algorithm that takes into consideration all of your preferences, and a variety of other pieces of data to match you with your soulmate. There’s a secret formula that no one really understands because it’s kept under wraps, and Kara doesn’t even try to make heads or tails of it. All she knows is that she’s apparently 99.8% compatible with someone, which is completely unheard of.

So that is how she finds herself standing in a restaurant nervously waiting for her first, and hopefully last, blind date.

The bar is loud, and the music is blasting as Kara leans by the counter. She places her cell phone down as she stares at the picture of the girl she matched with for what is probably the hundredth time that day. She wants to stand because she’s far too nervous to sit, and this way she’s less likely to blend into the crowd. Her foot taps repeatedly as she bobs with the music. She wants to see this girl immediately, she doesn’t want to wait. There’s an urgency in the air, like she just wants to get on with it. Like it’s going to be the first day of the rest of her life, and it sounds over the top, but she doesn’t care.

A few moments later, a stunning woman with midnight black hair and flashing green eyes walks into the bar. She’s staring down at her cell phone, and Kara recognizes her instantly. Not necessarily by sight, but by the warm familiarity that thumps in her chest. She looks down at her own and sees the same face from the dating app smiling back at her.

Lena Luthor. 

Above her name she sees the result: 99.8% match.

Kara swallows and watches as Lena glances around the bar, looking around slowly until her eyes finally land on Kara’s. She stares at her, and Kara watches as her eyes soften in recognition and a small dimpled smile stretches across her face. She looks at her like she knows her, and Kara watches as she chuckles to herself, which is exactly the feeling Kara has, too. She wants to laugh, because it just all makes so much sense . This is right, whatever it is.  

Lena finally approaches, and her forehead crinkles briefly, like they’re already long lost loves and this is a reunion more than an introductory date.

“Gorgeous…” Kara exhales, and she doesn’t even realize she’s said it out loud until Lena is smirking at her with a knowing look in her eyes.

“Hi gorgeous, I’m Lena,” she says with a teasing grin. Kara’s heart falters.

“Oh--I’m--I’m not gorgeous. I mean, my name’s not gorgeous,” Kara stumbles, trying to find the words. “I’m Kara.”

“Well, you could have fooled me,” Lena says as she leans in closer. “Nice to meet you, Kara.”

“Nice to meet you too, Lena.”

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Several years later, when Lena’s company buys Ultimate Match, it’s a purely self indulgent purchase for her to satisfy some burning questions about her own relationship with Kara, her soon-to-be wife. They are firm believers in the company’s mission, and the way it goes about its pairings, because obviously they have some vested interest. It turns out they are the picture of success, after all. She isn’t entirely sure how, or why, or what makes it all tick, but she’s been sure to be thankful every single day since meeting her own ultimate match in Kara. 

It takes some digging, and a few experimental trials in R&D, before Lena uncovers the secret to the compatibility formula that the company swears by.

It’s late one night when Lena finds the data file with hundreds of thousands of simulations recorded by all the participants who went through the pairing system. Simulations that Lena can’t recall exactly, but it seems to border just on the edge of familiarity, teetering dangerously, like if she could only will her brain to go a little farther, it would all tumble out and make sense in the end.

She types in her name, and finds her own results. 

1000 simulations. 998 rebellions.

Lena and Kara. 

They’re the highest scoring pair out of every other simulation participant, ever recorded. Against all odds, Lena chose Kara and Kara chose Lena 998 times out of 1000. An unprecedented 99.8% match.

A few minutes later, Kara walks into her office with a smile, circling around the desk in order to wrap her arms around Lena’s neck. She kisses her cheek and whispers hello and nuzzles the soft spot right behind her ear. It still gives her goosebumps, even after all this time.

“What are you working on?” she asks, and Lena simply smiles.

“We actually did it, Kara.” she whispers. “We really did break the system.”