Chapter Text
Dan liked to think that he did not care about soulmates.
In that moment, his focus was on changing, moving. Literally, because he was packing for a new city with his father, mother, brother, and dog, and spiritually, moving the air around him.
After a frustrating primary and a 'full of existential crises' secondary, Dan thought he finally found the equilibrium.
There had been years being beaten for having a unique personality and being a decent kid, and then years getting close to the jerks that use to bully him to become one of them, till that all exploded and got behind him, just like his straighteners.
The curly hair was now part of the change. To be honest, he didn't care. He was enjoying himself that way.
Curls, comfortable clothes of light tones, and if he was in the mood, even a gentle touch of glitter or a tender shade of pink in his nails. All of it was part of the new Dan, the Dan that was here to stay.
In fact, few things from his 14, 15 years, had remained on the bags that barely fit his father's Fiat Panda. In part because of the internal space of the trunk, and in part because he wanted to start from scratch.
So he said goodbye to old band t-shirts (ok, he kept some of Fall Out Boy, cause it was hard to get rid of some possessions), old games (he was going to regret that someday when the nostalgia hit him) and even his hamster, missing since the packing (enjoy your freedom, Suki).
That, however, came with him.
The tattoo on his skin was composed of round letters, almost childish ones, saying what he already knew by heart.
Oh my god!!!! He's so cute!!!
The exclamations and form of the handwriting made him think that he was going to meet his soulmate during the early key stages of secondary. What didn't happen, obviously. The mark was going to disappear in the moment their eyes crossed, and even if he didn't care about it...
He was kinda anxious to know what would happen when he met them.
Dan was never really fixated on the idea of soulmates, unlike most people. They existed, yes, to form pairs that had a predisposition (genetic? spiritual? there was so many different theories) to get together for longer periods (maybe even forever, if you dare say). Compatible people, that would grow together as people and that could even be more fertile with each other.
Tha predisposition, of course, didn't stop relationships between soulmates of ending horribly. Human beings are what they are at the end of the day, and always find a way to ruin everything, even the 'unconditional' love of soulmates. They use to say though, that the pain of losing your true pair, how it was called, was worse than death.
Dan thought that was a little bit exaggerated. Some people never found their soulmates and were good.
His parents were not a true pair, and even though, they were there. Together, well, moving to Manchester to install the flower shop and the law firm in a safe and quiet neighbourhood, where Dan could finish his development before going to uni.
It was a good idea, even though the end of school still scared the boy a little since he did not know exactly what to do with his life when he eventually gets out of his parents' house.
Because of that, he thought, he did not have time to worry about finding his soulmate. They would show up at some point, and if they didn't... It was not the end of the world.
Unpacking boxes and setting up furniture was a deplorable perspective of 'the first day on a new city!' but it ended up being an easy task for four pairs of active hands. Later, he would take a walk with his dog, Colin, to know the neighbourhood, that had a formal, but slow, atmosphere, and was at a convenient distance from little shops, supermarkets, and even a driving school.
Yeah. They were getting off on the right foot.
As the afternoon came and Dan had already emptied half of his boxes, he decided to go for the short walk he had planned with his family dog to a convenience shop he found close to there, to get something like a slushie or so.
It was a six-minute walk and Dan was seizing the opportunity to have a good look at the way, since, being who he was, he probably wouldn't see it much in the next months.
He could work on that like he was doing with the rest of his personality but... There was something extremely comfy about being home, doing his own things inside his room the whole day, that he was not ready to let go yet.
The summer was coming to an end, and soon the leaves of the trees on the way home would start to fall. Everything was so pacific there, and Dan...
Dan felt at home.
In the middle of the way, he saw his school.
It was unsettling that it was so close to home, intimidating.
He had never studied in such a... Sophisticated place. For real, he barely knew how he was accepted, but apparently due to being an incorrigible nerd that, that even when went out with his gang of brutes, always came back home in time for doing homework and getting good grades.
Dan was grateful for his past self at this point. After all, he still could make one or two right decisions.
Two blocks later and he was in front of the convenience shop. Now he could get that almost forbidden - because it was so close to dinner - slushie, and come back home to watch whatever movie were on TV, enjoying the remnants of his holidays.
Easy.
He strapped Colin on the bicycle rack and went to the store quickly, not wanting to leave the dog alone for too long, and moved faster to the slushie machine.
There was one there, yay, and he filled his cup with black cherry.
He was already drinking one and getting the money when he saw, over the shoulder of the clerk, a window.
He knew the sound was familiar.
There was a kid being beaten in the alley behind the shop.
That made a shivery feeling run down his neck. How many times hadn't he been on both sides of this situation?
Suddenly, the taste of the slushie wasn't that sweet, a wave of bitter regret changing the flavour of the scraped ice.
He swallowed, with the guilt, and paid for the drink quickly, wanting to get home as soon as possible.
He let Colin free and turned his back, but the dog was too interested in the noises of the alley, and ran to see what was happening, pulling the leash out of Dan's hands.
This kind of things just happen to me, he thought, while ran to get the dog before the bullies saw him and he turned into a victim.
Not that he didn't deserve that, but, anyway.
He finally caught Colin's leash, but he was already in the alley. Shit.
Dan looked up, seeing the gang of 5.
Four guys and a girl, that was considerably smaller than them.
They were punks, he could see, by the tattoos and clothes and piercings, and even the colourful hairs.
The kid on their feet looked more like Dan. Frightened eyes, a purple punch mark on his cheek and a little cut above it. Broken glasses on the floor.
Clenching a fist and feeling a knot in his throat, he faced the gang again.
He could see them clearly now.
The girl, adorable and short, had curly hair and a dark thick stained line on her eyes, that was supposed to make her look threatening, oh, and she had a shiny piercing on her brown.
By her side, there two lads, much taller. One that even looked like Dan, with wavy hazel hair and eyes, but all the resemblance stopped there since Dan didn't have piercings on his lip and nose.
The other guy had a focus on tattoos, ones that ran down his neck and arms. He also had eyes loaded with dark eyeliner.
Then there was a blond, a stark difference. He was also tan and looked much more like a lost surfer than that mix of rebel punk grunge that coded his group, but Dan wasn't there to question.
Then there was that boy with blue hair.
That was a secret desire, a hidden appeal, that Dan always had. He always imagined himself better with a different hair colour that was not that boring brown.
He tried once, to use hair chalk, while he was still straightening his hair, to try a different effect, but after a whole day of school with people trying to convince him that it was ugly...
Seeing that boy with blue fringe brought Dan an envious feeling that he tried to kill, cause he shouldn't want anything from people with that lifestyle.
The boy looked like the others of the pack. Same dark clothes and tattoos, a chocker on his neck and some piercings...
He was looking at Colin, not Dan, and his blue eyes were contoured poorly.
Even if Dan had seen a thousand of guys like that one - there were even two by his side for comparison - there was something about the blue-haired boy that caught his attention.
Probably the hair, if he thought about it.
The blond one said something like 'watcha lookin?' with an obvious American accent, and Dan had nothing else to do besides pulling Colin with him, the heart twitching because he did not help the bullied boy.
He didn't want to get in trouble, he had just arrived! What if the bullies decided to go after him, what would he do?
His hands were shaking and his heart was in his mouth when he came home, and he needed a long shower to calm down.
Dan felt guilt and anger. Guilt cause he did not help the kid. Anger cause he saw him in that situation, and bullying was despicable.
He regretted immensely having paid with the same currency once, and swore, while he dried his hair and looked at himself in the mirror, that he would never leave a scene like that without doing anything to help again.
Dan was able to stop thinking about anything during dinner since his mother was creating an endless monologue about flowers.
"It's not a monologue!' she would start. "I'm asking your opinion!"
But nobody knew how to answer to anything, and she would continue to talk alone for three hours.
Dan took advantage that the dishes were in charge of his brother that night to go up and do a little bit of nothing before sleep.
Looking up to the empty space where Suki's cage would've been was something extremely sad, so he dedicated to filling that space, unpacking more of the remaining boxes.
In the end, he reorganized his desk - and his incredible butt chair - and his musical keyboard, in a way that made his room less of an empty cubicle and more of a cramped one.
He covered a sofa bed he had close to a wall with his old black duvet, that did not represent his reality anymore, and put in his bed a new pink and soft coverlet that he begged his mother to find. He placed fairy lights near to the ceiling and threw more of his clothes - that had a beautiful contrast between pure black and grey and pastel colours - in his drawers, and gave in, tired, to sleep, after a long day of travelling and moving.
In his pyjamas and already under his blankets, Dan's brain felt it was the perfect opportunity to dwell on the thoughts of leaving a poor boy to evil-looking bullies like a piece of meat to wolfs when he felt his forearm sting and itch as if a poisonous plant had touched him.
He looked at his soulmate mark. It was hot, and the writing, more vivid.
The day he was going to meet whoever the universe thought was the best for him was coming. It was too much responsibility.
Now, at least, Dan had something new to stir up till sleep.
Notes:
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Chapter 2: Petunias
Summary:
Petunia: Revelations, the spiritual force that clarifies what's misunderstood
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Dan took a long time to get ready that day, something that was not usual for any of his, to say, versions.
While past Dan would spend most of his time flat ironing his hair and then would dress the first dark clothes he'd find, the actual Dan would jump this step but would have to dedicate a little to choose the paster colours that matched together.
Of course, it was no challenge, and because of this, he would rarely take more than five or ten minutes to get dressed in a normal day.
Especially to school, where the uniform would crush his creativity and freedom of expression.
And maybe that was the reason he was taking to long to get down to breakfast. He was trying to find a way to show his soft and serene personality.
But how, if he was forced to wear a navy blue blazer and a tie of the same shade, but with yellow stripes?
After rummaging his bed where his new pastel possessions laid - ok, he had a beautiful baby blue backpack and a notebook with sunflowers on the cover that he was taking with him, and some flower crowns, nail polish and even a blush that he did not know how to use correctly yet - his eyes ended focusing on a new flower crown, that his mother probably dropped in his room at some point like she was doing since she discovered Dan liked those.
It was composed of purple flowers, in lighter and darker tones interleaved, and, on Dan's eyes, it gave a different touch of colour on the intense monotony of the clothes.
He smiled, adjusting it on his curls. Now yes, he felt ready. Ready to face a new school.
But first, food.
He did not eat much that day, simply because he wasn't that hungry, so a single toast was enough. He thanked his mother for the new crown, and she just shook her hands, in a 'nevermind' gesture, saying that it was good to use those petunias before the weather started to cool and they all died. She asked him, again, to help in the flower shop when he was free, and the old Dan would've hated it, but that Dan, the new Dan, accepted it.
After the breakfast, they all followed their own ways. His father went to work, his mother was going to wash the dishes before leaving to Howell's Flowerets, Dan and his brother went to school.
Dan hurriedly said goodbye to his brother when they came close to the huge posh premises, then had a deep breath and tried to mix with the crowd.
Like that was possible, being 1,90 m tall and wearing a flower crown, Dan thought, trying to not blush while heads were turning to him, curious. But it was okay, he just needed to keep calm and do his own things.
The first thing to do was find his year administration office, to set some things on his schedule.
Being a newcomer in such an advanced year, Dan would not have to go through all of the 'house' selection event that had in his school. He would just fill a form with his ambitions and interests and, after a quick checking, they would designate him to one of the groups.
He technically should've done this before, while he was still on holiday at home, instead of now, in his first day, but he was happy he could spare himself from the embarrassing introductions on the first period.
So he saw himself looking at a list of questions that went from his aptitudes to his favourite colours. But okay, it was kind of fun to do.
When he finished the test, he gave it to the charming deputy dean, that would read it and see where he fitted.
The office was one of the most modern places of the school, Dan could notice. It was not like it had electronic devices from the last century or something like that, but its atmosphere was very traditional, so that giant glass and light wood rectangle, where blocs separated smaller offices, was something that differed from the rest of the environment.
There he could notice how big his school was, from the number of people working there, moving around, printing and typing things, making phone calls and even scouting troublemaking boys to a sermon...
They passed directly by Dan, in direction of the dean's office block, a white man with coppery hair and the boy with the blue fringe.
Dan pushed his knees close to his body for them to walk without stumbling on him, and tried not to make it obvious that he was staring at the young man, that cursed while being carried.
Dan knew that the probability of one of the bullies he met to study there was... Well, was something... But still, he did not expect to find one of them so suddenly.
Especially that one, that he had kept with more intensity in his memory, because of the blue fringe that fell in his cheek.
He had the same eye pencil contour in his eyes, the earrings and the piercings, and all of that looked really strange when you added a formal school uniform to the equation.
He had a brooch attached to his blazer, Dan noticed. By squinting his eyes and tilting a bit to the side of the chair, he observed that the figure reminded him of a lion.
Hmm.
If the house system were like Harry Potter, Dan thought, distracted, this guy would be from Gryffindor.
He looked to the deputy dean, that hadn't finish checking his answers.
It had been a while since Dan took his Pottermore test. The last one had put him in Slytherin. Was that something that still applied to him?
He played with the fabric of his pants.
Maybe he was a Hufflepuff now. He was soft and cute. Hufflepuff was the house that he thought it fitted the best.
He heard through the glass the dean rising his voice to the blue-haired boy and calling him by his name. Phillip.
Maybe I would be a Gryffindor now, after his whole redemption arc.
The deputy dean stopped to pick up a call. Dan looked at his nails, where the shiny layer he had applied was peeling.
He flew his eyes to Phillip, that was laying nonchalantly on the comfy chair, arms crossed, listening to the lecture.
If he really is a Gryffindor, he is a James Potter.
Dan bit his lip.
And I would be a good Lily
Wait, what?
"Mr Howell, I already have your house."
Dan looked at the deputy dean, that just had called him, frowning. He was still confused about his last thought, and if he were not using a crown frailly placed in his hair, he would shake his head, guaranteeing that one of those never came back.
See, it was not that Phillip wasn't beautiful. It was just that he and Dan lived in different worlds, and Dan could not let himself have a crush on someone that beat younger kids.
That was, by the way, the reason Phillip was there in that moment. Incorrigible. Not crush material.
"Mr Howell?"
The deputy dean had to call him twice because he had spent too much time thinking about the punk. Dan was a complete disaster!
"What's the result?" he asked, while half of his brain screamed "Gryffindor! Gryffindor!" and the other screamed "Everything but Gryffindor!".
Luckily, the 'sorting hat' listened to the sensible part.
"Medved! Welcome to the Bears!" the deputy dean... Mariah, as said in the name tag that Dan had just seen, said. "Here is your program and, give me a second, I will find your pin."
She also gave Dan some papers. There was a pamphlet with a summary of Professor Medved's life and the attributes they appreciated on the students of that house, besides numbers of year 13 students and other information alike. The symbol of his house was a grizzly bear, but with a slightly yellow fur, probably to match the school colours.
That reminded him Winnie, The Pooh, and that made him smile because he obviously would fall in the Bear house. It would only be more ironic if, after his teenage obsession with llamas, he felt in a house with those.
Dan was still smiling at the pamphlet when he felt eyes on him.
It was... Well, it was not the usual sensation of feeling someone watching him. 'Someone's gaze felt like burn', said romances sometimes, but Dan never believed in that.
Until that moment, where he actually felt like burning.
It was like the sensation from days ago, the mark blazing in his skin, had spread through his whole body.
His hands started to sweat and his mouth went dry, He did not want to look to the side, but he had to do it. He felt like he needed to.
Then, he turned his face to the punk.
Only to notice that he was not looking back, and had just stood up and turned his back to leave.
Hmpf.
It was okay. It was better this way. Now Dan could stop to breathe and calm his stupid heart.
It's not him, Dan thought, he's not my...
He couldn't even say the word, the idea being so absurd in his head.
Dan was an idiot that couldn't even find a guy aesthetically pleasing without thinking he was his soulmate. Clap clap clap.
After Mariah gave him his brooch and a small 'good luck' pat on his shoulder, he was prepared to go out of the place and face the reality of the new school.
Ok. Alright. He was going to make it. There was no need to be worried.
"Oh, and Dan, I loved your crown" she commented when his hand was already on the door handle. Something simple, but extremely soothing, and he smiled back, shy.
The good thing about being in the last years of school was that the classes were small, so Dan would not have to deal with the pressure of being surrounded by hundreds of people like he was previously fearing about the university times, but that also meant that he had no escape from being a new face in the classroom.
Fortunately, his French period had such a... Peculiar... Teacher that nobody really cared about the new kid, freakishly tall and with flowers in his hair.
The problem was that Dan could not keep the focus after like, 8 minutes of the lesson, and could not talk to someone, so...
He started doodling in his notebook.
Nothing that made much sense. Some lyrics. A coconut tree he had seen on the last tropical trip with his family... Phillip.
He bent his head down, bringing his face closer to the page, trying to not ruin the drawing.
The diamond shaped face and the fringe that famed it, the location of the piercings... It was not perfect because he never gave a closer look at him, but even the mere image would make Dan uncomfortable with the possibility...
But it could not be, right?
Soulmates had to be perfect pairs, and his perfect pair would never be a punk brute. Not after his past.
Life was not a goddamn fanfic.
Dan was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice that his French class had just ended.
Something embarrassing, to be honest, since he had to practically run after the flow of classmates to not be left alone in the room with his weird teacher.
He did, surprisingly without bumping into anyone, what was a victory if you consider the lack of natural coordination that having members so long gave him.
Dan sighed, relieved, and fixed the placement of the flowers on his hair, untangling some of it from the curls in his forehead, and completed the motion throwing his hand back, naturally.
He didn't know, however, that there was a girl by his side, and that the back of his hand flew right against her nose.
"JESUS!" she screamed, scared, and wobbled out of his way.
Dan would have facepalmed himself if his giraffe arms hadn't caused enough trouble, and went to aid the girl, that was beautiful and had blonde hair with curly pink tips.
She was pressing her nose with two fingers and looking at him with furrowed brows, clearly mad.
"Look, I've been greeted in very exotic ways by the students, but I must confess I've never been SLAPPED like this while trying to say 'hi'" she said in a nasal voice while Dan tried to apologize.
He became able to do this, eventually, and she introduced herself.
"I am Louise, a Medved student and I was designated to help you to make friends or school subjects... Anything." she stopped pressing her nose since it was probably not going to start to bleed. "You are Daniel Howell, am I correct?"
He nodded and she looked at the first page of the notebook she was carrying.
"Ok, so your next class is... Theatre, is this right?"
He just nodded again, still sorry and embarrassed for having assaulted his school housemate.
"Right, so come with me, I can show you where the auditorium is. Just... Let's stay far away from each other so you won't stab my eyes trying to scratch your nose or whatever."
Louise explained latter that she was not really upset about what happened, and broke the ice completely, laughing about it and sharing with Dan some of the adventures she had with the foreign students, that went from different and funny habits to accents that led to misunderstanding.
And Dan, on the other hand, chuckled and told his own zany stories, where, per example, his poor coordination almost cost him his life or even his sight.
All of it happened while they were walking to the auditorium, and they kept talking outside of it till the ring of the bell that announced the next class.
Dan felt happy for finding someone that apparently got caught in situations as ridiculous as the ones he find himself.
She was not his soulmate - he noticed the lack of the mark on her arm and saw her eyes, green and shiny, closely without anything happening - but maybe she could be a good friend.
Louise said goodbye after the bell rang, she had her psychology lessons on that period, and made him promise that, if he had any questions or needed any help, he would call her.
Then he moved to the auditorium, where some of his classmates had already come, and his teacher, a beautiful woman with brown hair stuck in place with the help of a pen, was waiting for them.
It was a very fun class, Dan had to say, and not only because he loved drama. The whole class atmosphere was good, and the introductory exercises they had made him feel at ease.
He could even talk to a new guy, PJ, that was paired with him for the whole lesson, and then went with him even after the end of the class because they also made music together.
And Dan already liked PJ a lot. He was one of the most creative people he ever met, and extremely talented in anything he did, apparently.
He was not his soulmate - he noticed besides the mark on his arm and after seeing his eyes, green and energetic, closely without anything happening - but maybe he could be a good friend.
And after one hour of laughter while they were trying to harmonize Dan's disastrous piano and PJ's magnificent ukulele... Both had to move separated ways because now Dan had a, probably very boring, biology class alone.
Ugh, but it was necessary.
They agreed to meet for lunch, and Dan was very happy with the idea.
The day had been more than productive. He went to his classes and met cool people, two potential friends.
That was already more than all of his school years till there and he really doubted anything could ruin that.
But, that was Dan Howell, and something would happen.
He had just finished his bio class and was heading to the toilet before getting lost trying to find the cafeteria or wherever the kids ate in that place. A seemingly safe and common trajectory.
He did not expect, though, to find a bunch of bullies pushing a kid's head in the toilet, there, in the middle of the bathroom.
Ok, he had seen that happening before, as Hollywoodian as it were, but on that school? And they had to be those punks?
And it had to be that blue haired guy?
"That is for being a snitch!" the handsome yob grunted, between the teeth, while his friends - the whole little cluster from the other day - was laughing and encouraging the act.
They noticed Dan and the American blonde, that looked ridiculous in his uniform, clenched his fists. But Dan was not intimidated.
"What is the little princess doing here? It's the men's room, pansy." a dark-haired one said, like there wasn't a girl there with them, but it was obvious that he only wanted to offend Dan.
But he only rolled his eyes and dropped his backpack on the floor, advancing towards them.
He didn't want to get into trouble on the first day of school, yeah, but he had promised himself that the last he could do after have been the bully douchebag he was, was to help the victims of others like him.
So, even knowing he was going to be beaten up because of that, he grabbed the arm of the kid in the toilet bowl, in order to push him away from Phillip, while he felt pairs of hands grasping his clothes, shoes making sounds against the floor tiles.
The toilet boy, probably younger than them, took a deep relieved breath, water running down his outfit, while Dan was pushed to the wall by the gang.
His arms were being held by the two tallest boys, and his legs were kicked by the one that looked like himself if he still were a jerk. The girl grabbed the toilet boy so that he couldn't run away.
And Phillip came closer.
He had his fists tight, and there was water dripping from his sleeves and shirt.
He still had his lion pin.
His tie was tidy, what was weird for someone like him.
He had a tattoo on his neck. Ilegal, obviously, but so beautiful against his skin.
It snaked till close to his pierced ears and matched the rings and jewels on his lips and nose.
And then, there were his eyes.
They managed to be in three goddamn colours.
Blue, green and yellow.
They were beautiful.
More than beautiful.
It was like Dan could swimming into them, drown.
Dan swallowed, blinking and trying to focus on the person he was seeing.
Phillip. That had stopped, surprised, only centimetres between he and Dan.
A jerk punk bully, that twinkled his stupidly long lashes and looked to his left arm.
And Dan wasn't even surprised when he felt his right forearm burn while he mentally yelled.
You gotta be fucking kidding me
Notes:
Heyyy Waddup!
Hope y'all liked the chapter! I am travelling so I don't know if I'll be able to upload new chapters till the 23rd, but at least I will be writing new chapters, so, after this period everything will go back to normal :3
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Chapter 3: Yellow Chrysanthemums
Summary:
Yellow Chrysanthemums: Disdained love
Notes:
I hope y'all enjoy the chapter. I'm sorry for how long it took to post it, but I'm back at college and my mood is swinging like a hoola dancer again... But I'll figure out how to keep constantly updating here, don't worry. I finished translating this piece at 03:49 am. Love me.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Phillip was his soulmate - Dan noticed because of the burning and them vanishing of the mark in his arm, and after seeing his eyes, oceanic and tricolour, closely, and he could never be a good friend, let alone...
Phillip stopped moving, static, and his punk friends frowned their foreheads, trying to understand what the hell was happening in that bathroom.
"Let him go," Phillip said, his voice shredded by the surprise. "Just, let him go!"
The boys obeyed.
Phillip was looking at Dan like he was the most beautiful thing he ever saw, and Dan could understand it, cause if he could stare at Phillip for hours and hours non-stop, he would do that, but a fragment of his mind was still free from the 'meeting-your-soulmate spell', a part that was just big enough for him to not lose that opportunity.
He punched Phillip square in the chin.
And then pulled the younger kid - that the only girl in the group had let go, surprised with Dan's attack - and ran out of the bathroom till they saw themselves free from the punks.
Dan wasn't even looking back anymore and was simply running, dragging the chubby boy along - since his legs were shorter than Dan's, to no one's surprise - and at some point, they entered a random classroom.
It was empty, luckily, and Dan was able to breathe, placing his hand on his chest.
He definitely should make more exercises.
He looked at the boy, that also had red cheeks.
"Thank you" he said. "You saved my butt there."
Dan just waved his hand to the boy, too tired to say anything that wasn't cut by his breathless gasps, and just observed the boy leaving the class, after checking if it was safe.
Then Dan did the same.
He tried to collect himself while looking for PJ, to have lunch, and noticed with regret, that he lost his flower crown during the little chase. Oh, and he also left his backpack in the toilet.
But he was not coming back there, nope nopity nope.
He found PJ, eventually, when he entered the cafeteria, and ran to fill his mind with one of the only things that had the power to stop his train wreck of thoughts.
Food.
Vegetarian chilli, broccoli rice, custard cake and a banana, a Ribena carton... Enough to keep him away from the idea of meeting his soulmate.
The cheerful conversation with PJ also helped. In that moment he had mentioned weird demon horses and questioned if he had any ideas on which weapons could be useful to defeat them, and Dan sincerely wanted to give a more creative answer than 'banana?', but hey, he was eating. He couldn't think while shoving chilli down his throat.
But there as a moment, right after his meal had endend where his mind started to scream, because oh my god, he had found his soulmate.
And he had no idea what do because, geez, what do you do in this situation?
My soulmate is a dickhead punk bully.
A complete moron punk bully. That probably hates me because I punched him in the face in the middle of a restroom and ran.
He's totally coming after me right now.
Oh my god, my soulmate is going to beat the shit out of me right now. What should I do?
His mental fluxe was so fast that he couldn't stop himself from saying some of those phrases out loud, in a slurred mumble that only beluga whales could understand.
However, that didn't stop PJ from getting some things. Possibily 'punk' and 'soulmate', since he asked:
"Which one of them?"
"Hm?"
"Which of the punks is your soulmate?"
Dan stopped chewing his straw and touched his blushed cheeks. He always felt completly insane, talking to himself without even noticing, but it would be even worse if he ignored PJ.
"It's Phillip. The one with the blue fringe." he awnsered, quitting the chew, starting to create a beat against the table. "I already suspected, but only discovered now, and... Sincerely, this is a nightmare."
He laughed, but it was not funny at all. It was a depressing observation, that he could never _be_ with his soulmate. Because Dan wasn't not even a bit interested in trying to know better someone that was so different from him, and Phillip probably was sharing this idea.
Something they had to have in commom, right?
"Hm. Phil. He is a nice guy. We are School Housemates, and have some classes together."
Dan stopped the whole 'drumming'. "Really?"
"Yeah. He hangs out with some pretty stupid folks and... Maybe had done some questionable decisions in life... But honestly, I think you're lucky. Your soulmate could be, I don't know, Landon."
By the american accent in which PJ pronounced his name, Dan presumed it was the blonde surfer. He just shrugged and nodded.
"Yes, I guess. But I punched his face, guess I sent the message 'it's not going to work, the universe made a mistake' fairly well." Dan completed the sentence with a small chuckle, while standing up with the other boy to take the trays back.
"Do you think that the universe makes mistakes?"
"Maybe? I mean, this whole story of perfect pairs it's very subjective. My parents are not a true pair, and are ok."
"Yes. But do you think they could deny the feelings if they knew their soulmates? I mean, he studies here. You are going to see him on the hallways. Are you sure this is not going to be painful?"
Yeah. Dan wasn't sure about absolutely anything, but PJ sounded strangely experient for someone that still had his mark. And Dan tried, without sounding too strange, to swerve the dialogue to him.
"What about you? Do you have any idea of who is your soulmate?"
PJ just shrugged. "No. I know who isn't, though."
Dan didn't had time to ask what it meant, because now it was time to one more class.
It was awful to enter the classroom without his materials, and Dan didn't even had a plausible explanation to give. His plan was to look after Louise after his class, to ask her what was he supposed to do (looking in to the lost-and-found? call the authorities?). His cellphone, luckily, was still in his trousers pocket. At least that.
He sent Louise a message till the end of the class.
Which meant that he spent a whole hour rewriting the text thousands of times before sending it.
Louise was a very cool girl, but he was extremely insecure about social interactions. People usually started conversations with him, so, when it was his turn to do the same, even on the phone...
In the end, he was able to send the text. It ended up being way more impersonal than he inteded, but at least he could send it without obvious typos.
Oh, wait, he had made a typo. Goddamn fat thumbs.
Anyway, whe answered minutes latter. She said that she would look if his materials where already on the lost-and-found, and that she would meet him at Dan's math teacher class - his next period - after this, to give his stuff back or to decide what to do. Would they go to the office? It was something better to talk in person, and when she didn't had an assignment to submit.
Dan sighed, relieved. It was good to have someone to count on school. Perks of a house system maybe?
He walked towards the math classroom, lost in thoughts, while played with his tie fabric. He hadn't be persecuted since the bathroom thing, what led him to think that they were planning some kind of prank.
It was the sort of thing the troublemakers in his school did. Aggressive pranks that nobody could prove that were theirs. Maybe that was the strategy of those punks too.
And that was exactly what Dan thought when he entered the room and saw his backpack, placed naturally on one of the desks.
Oh shit.
He approached it, looking at his sides repeatedly. Nothing suspicious, only students focused on their own lives, doing their stuff.
No one by the door. No visible cameras. Nobody by the windows. Felt almost safe, for now, at least.
There was a note hanging out of the bag.
The handwriting was as familiar to Dan to his own, and that made his heart race.
It was from Phillip, his soulmate.
To think about that, straight to the point, was still surreal to Dan.
You was wearing a petunia flower crown. I couldn't stop to think about it during lunch.
I guess we got off to a bad start, but I would love to hang out with you any day.
Anyway, here are your things. And here go an appendix with my number... If you want to call me. And there is also my email. And my MSN. And MySpace. And Skype.
Anyway...
- Philip Lester.
Philip with a single L. Hmm. Ok.
Dan was still kind of static with that little note. He didn't knew how to react to that fact. What soulmates made when they met? Hanged out? Kissed, had sex and proposed immediately?
Everything sounded too intense and Dan had no idea what he was suposed to do with that fateful information.
Phil didn't hate him. Actually, he wanted to chat with him. And he didn't gave an ultimatum of 'come see me after school'... Phil gave him the opportunity to choose if he wanted to talk to him.
Well, it was not a hard decision. Considering the circunstances, it was better to just... Don't. He could never force someone to change for him, specially someone that he barely knew, and he could never accept Phil the way he was, so, to spare him from some future disappointment...
It was better to end that right there. Itw was not the end of the world. He didn't need a soulmate to be happy. He had so many things to focus right now, the decision of what he wanted to do on uni, and discovering who he was as a person... Even advance with his depression treatment, for fucks sake.
A relationship right now, specially with Phil, could only bring problems.
He sent a message to Louise, telling her that he had found his backpack, so everything was ok, and tried to focus on the last classes of the day.
He questioned himself, vaguelly, why Phil had mentioned his petunia crown, but the thought vanished fast when he had to remember types of chemical bonds. Ugh.
In the end, he was able to finish his first day at school well. As far as possible.
He said goodbye to PJ, that met him outside. He found his younger brother and left.
Dan asked him how his day were, and let him tell about his house selection ceremony on the way home. He had also fell on Medved, they were brothers after all, and sounded very enthusiastic about the new school.
That appeased Dan's heart. At least his little brother's life was not complicated as his.
All that Dan wanted was to spend a tranquil afternoon, perhaps playing some video game with him, and eating some crisps, before going to his room and inevitabily doing his homework - Dan was trying his best to stop procrastinating so much. Step by step, but he was trying. - but destiny had other plans, and his brother was invited to a little meet up with his new classmates, and his dad showed up to give him a ride to the shopping center nearby.
His father asked Dan if he wanted to come along, and Dan wasn't very thrilled about the idea of going to the shopping alone, let alone bothering his brother and his friends. He was not ready to send a text to PJ and Louise, arranging an emergencial hang out.
But staying at home meant that he could think about Phil even more, and that it probably would make him send a message to him or something like that, because of the whole magnetic force that soulmates shared.
He then remembered that his mother had ask for his help on the flower shop. It was not the coolest activity to his evening, but it was something, and the shop was in the way to the shopping centre.
So, after a quick shower and throwing on him a pink sweater and a pair of dungarees, he ran to meet his father and little brother.
A while after, he was in front of Howell's Flowerets.
The movement on the shop was good, at least better than it even been on his old town, and he was happy for his mother.
He never met someone so passionate about flowers as her, and he wished he inherited her green thumb, but all the plants he tried to keep in his room died, even with the right amount of sun, water and nutrients.
With his mother, though, everything flourished, and the flowers that her business partners provided her seemed to become even prettier under Mrs. Howell's ministration.
His mother called him to help her with a arrangement, in a vase that was slightly bigger than normal.
He brought the green ceramics pot, that big bush new's house.
"You know, you're actually good at this." she observed, while he went ahead on the setting. "You never gave me oportunity to compliment, but you do have a certain talent for designing."
"Yeah?" Dan asked, distracted, while settled the bush, trying not to smash it's leaves. "I don't know. Do you think I could work here?"
"I think that, as your boss, I would be a great mother. We need new soil Dan." she instruced his son.
While looking for it, he saw a modest petunias bouquet. That reminded him something.
"Mom, what do petunias means?"
"What?"
"The lower meaning." he rolled his sleeves up, to help filling the vase with soil. "Does it mean something especific?"
"Hmm... Yes, I guess. Audacity, I guess? Or, in general, an epifany, an insight. Dan, watch out, you are going to knock it all out."
His mother pulled his hands, so he wouldn't overthrow it all over his cloehtes, and her eyes focued on his clear forearm.
"Oh my god Dan, you found her."
A cold shiver ran down his spine and his cheeks went violently hot.
He was not ready for such an early confrontation.
He didn't even knew what to say. He didn't knew how to correct his mother about the pronoums, didn't knew how to say he had no interest in staying with his soulmate, and...
Luckily he was saved by the gong.
Unluckily, that gong had a blue fringe.
He expected his mother reaction to Phil, a boy with such an aggressive look, were different from that formal smile, maybe with more dimples than usual. She looked to Dan like she was saying 'we talk about this latter' and went to assist the punk.
Dan was still in awe. He rubbed his dirty hands against his jeans dungarees, while watching every movement his soulmate was doing.
He felt his heartbeat rising even with a smal thing like that. He was there, and he was so beautiful... And he was speaking to his mother, in a voice tone that, in the brief dialogue lines that Dan had ever witnessed, was completly new.
He was being kind, maybe even charismatic and joyful, and that only made Dan tense.
If he hadn't seen that guy drowning a younger boy's head in the toilet bowl earlier that day, he could swear the style had nothing to do with his personality.
Phil, on that moment, sounded adorable.
Dan could keep watching him from that hidden, far away place, behind a bush, but his mother called him, and he had to go to her, his cheeks redder than they've ever been, and sweating hands.
"Whats up?"
"I need to go to the deposit to find a new a pot model... Can you take care of the cashier please? I'll be right back love." the last thing was directioned to Phil.
Impressing.
Dan moved to behind the cashier, and tried to avoid visual contact with Phil, but that was simply impossible.
"Hi." he said in that tone Dan didn't know.
"Hi." Dan replied, because he had nothing better to say, and blatantly ignore him would be too rude.
The two of them just... Stood there. Dan was trying to break the eye contact, Phil could stop mantaining it. The pastel boy decided to move around the shop, to increase the distance between him and the human being that let him so nervous.
But he obviously followed Dan.
Dan stopped looking to the bouquet arrangments and pots in general, and turned around to face Phil, with his cool dark clothes and intense eyes, and dropped a "Are you following me?" that probably sounded very rude, but that was the intention.
Phil blushed.
He blushed.
He stuttered a "N-no, actually I... Attented here before meeting you. I... My mother really likes flowers. She asked me to came visit the new flower shop."
Dan went back to staring the flower buds.
"Hm."
And the conversation died there. Two boys seeming too awkward to talk. Maybe they were too awkward.
Where the heck was his mother? He needed her to break that unconfortable silence.
Phil tried again, while Dan came closer to the flowers, touching it's velvety petals with his fingertips.
"Were you going to send me a message at some point? Or... Accept going out?"
Dan didn't answered. That was, indeed, very desperate of him, since they just met, but was also very sad, since Dan wasn't intending to send the message. Or go out. Or talk to him in general.
They were not going to be a couple, but saying that out loud felt cruel.
Phil looked at Dan, and then at the flowers he was playing with. The silence was dead as it could be.
"Yellow Chrysanthemums." said Phil. "Yeah, I guess I got it."
Dan hadn't even had the chance to say a very confused 'what?' because his mother came and Phil went to pay for his stupidly small vase.
Minutes later, Phil left the shop, not without casting a sad look at Dan, that, sincerely, felt desolated while watching him leave.
That was a... Horrific sensation.
PJ's words were echooing in his head.
Ignoring Phil, denying Phil, those would be decisions much harder to keep with than he had predicted.
"Do you think the universe makes mistakes?"
Well, if it didn't, than Dan had made them
Notes:
Hope y'all liked! Don't forget a nice comment or a sweet kuddo if you did! Follow me on twitter @imhereforpinof9 (yeah, I didn't have a twitter since the end of 2017, don't kill me) and tumblr @olivethehobbit!
Mi_Munson on Chapter 1 Fri 05 Jan 2018 06:45PM UTC
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OliveTheHobbit on Chapter 1 Fri 13 Apr 2018 01:54PM UTC
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PoisonLyra on Chapter 1 Sun 14 Jan 2018 06:35AM UTC
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OliveTheHobbit on Chapter 1 Fri 13 Apr 2018 01:53PM UTC
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rulingoftheplants on Chapter 1 Thu 08 Feb 2018 03:06AM UTC
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OliveTheHobbit on Chapter 1 Fri 13 Apr 2018 01:52PM UTC
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Mi_Munson on Chapter 2 Tue 16 Jan 2018 12:41AM UTC
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OliveTheHobbit on Chapter 2 Fri 13 Apr 2018 01:56PM UTC
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apathy_and_urgency on Chapter 3 Tue 06 Feb 2018 08:35AM UTC
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OliveTheHobbit on Chapter 3 Fri 13 Apr 2018 01:55PM UTC
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apathy_and_urgency on Chapter 3 Fri 13 Apr 2018 03:45PM UTC
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Shipper (Guest) on Chapter 3 Thu 02 May 2019 10:01PM UTC
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