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The moment he feared the most came just after a late night of patrolling his city, Clark tagging along with him and making his best efforts to distract him from his job, as it seemed. And Bruce’s tongue had been sharp when he told Clark to just shut up.
Clark didn’t utter a word until the end of the night.
Bruce had left him on the roof of a building, jumping and falling swiftly onto the Batwing. Clark knew Bruce hated it when he flew him home, so he just stayed a moment back and let Bruce leave for the lakehouse.
He had thought that he would have found Clark already waiting for him, a smile on his face as always. But not this time─Clark wasn’t waiting for him. And suddenly the events of the past week barreled into him with full force, staggering backward, the back of his knees hitting his couch.
He had trouble breathing, so he took off his cowl─still, the air wouldn’t fill his lungs─
During the past week, Bruce had been awful to Clark─he had pushed him away in multiple ways─telling him to abruptly leave when Clark had only wanted to spend some time with him, and made useless excuses so he could stay alone and─
God, Bruce had been awful─
And here was Clark, floating slowly to his open window, the cape billowing behind him as he settled his feet on the ground.
Bruce looked away, pure sickening fear gripping his gut and turning it inside out. His mind supplied restlessly fool, you knew this would happen, you knew this day would come, it always happen─
And he could still feel Clark’s gaze on him, approaching slowly from where he stood. Bruce had only looked up briefly when he heard him land, but just one look─just one look into Clark’s face and he knew.
It was a face that he knew perfectly. Many people in his life had harboured it, and then Bruce had lost them. His mind gave him an endless list of names, but he could not formulate them─could not face them. Especially with the thought that Clark would be joining that list briefly.
But Bruce did not want to─he didn’t want to lose Clark, didn’t want to see him leave. He had thought─he had thought that maybe Clark would─
Of course he wouldn’t, he thought bitterly, his hands trembling by his side. Why would he stay when Bruce didn’t even give him what Clark wanted? Why would he stay when Bruce all but pushed Clark’s feelings away like they were the plague? Clark didn’t want to live like that─he needed to know that Bruce did share his feelings. He needed proof─he needed Bruce to say it out loud, to voice it─
But it seemed like it was exactly the one thing that Bruce couldn’t do. He could throw himself off a building, he could go sneaking around dangerous men’s houses to get information, he could battle gods and monsters, all the while his heart rate staying the same levelled control─
But feelings. He couldn’t do that.
But that was what would make Clark stay with him─
Clark stopped in front of him, his shiny blue suit illuminated in the moonlight and god, isn’t this the perfect timing? The perfect atmosphere?
But when he opened his mouth─when he opened his mouth, his heart jumped into his throat and he couldn’t breathe anymore─
“Bruce?”
Clark’s voice was quiet, regardless of the fact that Bruce didn’t have any neighbours to wake up at the wee hours of the morning. And Bruce, despite himself, leaned in─Clark’s voice was soft and soothing and Bruce just wanted to bathe in it and─
And his mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Absolutely no sound came out.
“Clark─” he choked, of all things.
Strong and uncalloused hands touched Bruce’s shoulders, squeezing lightly before the arms wound around him and Clark was hugging him tightly.
Bruce’s eyes stung, but he didn’t move to hug him back, because─because maybe this was it, maybe Clark─
Maybe Clark was going to whisper I’m sorry, or Goodbye, or maybe he wouldn’t say anything and he would just leave like that, with Bruce feeling his phantom touch and being completely vulnerable─
“Clark,” he repeated, his voice straining. “I─I don’t think─”
“It’s okay.” But it isn’t.
“I can’t─ Clark─”
And Clark tightened his grip, holding him as if he was afraid Bruce would dissolve under his touch, and god, that is exactly how Bruce felt─weak, fragile, and sick.
This time Bruce hugged him back, just as fiercely, just as desperate─because that is how he felt; desperate to make Clark stay with him. And─and although Clark wasn’t showing any sign of actually leaving him─even if Clark was hugging him like his life depended on it─
That crippling fear in Bruce’s stomach hasn’t disappeared, because─because whatever he did, how many days passed─Clark would still need to know, and Bruce would still need to tell him─
“I need to─”
“Shh,” Clark interrupted (not that Bruce thinks he could have finished his sentence, anyway). He started rubbing circles on Bruce’s back, soothing.
Bruce held him tighter, closer─and Clark was still shushing every one of his attempts to say it out loud.
“It’s okay,” he was saying, his voice still soft. “I know.” And Clark’s voice broke at the last word, emotion squeezing his throat and Bruce knew that feeling─ “I know.”
Bruce felt wetness on his shoulder, slipping past the kevlar armour and making his suit damp. Clark was crying─ How was Bruce supposed to stay calm? With mindless words uselessly leaving his mouth just to be shut down by his own body, by Clark’s muffled shushing─
And Bruce’s eyes were still stinging and his throat still constricting.
“I’m here.”
And god he was─Bruce could feel him under his hands, firm muscle and tissue and Clark─ And he could smell his scent as Bruce buried his face against Clark’s shoulder because─he felt completely vulnerable in front of this being (had always felt so), and now tears were streaming down Bruce’s cheeks ─
And it would have been probably funny for an outsider to barge in this moment─Superman and Batman, the latter without his cowl, hugging each other so tightly they might break, crying and gasping words─
But it felt so good─and although Bruce’s throat was still constricted, warmth spread from his heart through his body and enveloped him in Clark’s soothing love.