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"pathetic..." the harsh voice whispered as if it was in his ear.
/slash/
"deeper."
/slash slash/
"harder!" it wasn't a whisper anymore
/slash/
he made a wound about 3 inches long so deep he started going out of reality, he made about 4 more as deep until he thought he was about to pass out and grabbed at his blue, un-kept hair slowly dyeing it a deep red, clinging to it like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
"Eth, you've been their a while, are you ok?" Tyler asked a little worried but his worry only increased when no reply came.
'maybe he fell asleep in the bath, I'll just wake him up' he thought and took a breath as he opened the bathroom door and oh god...
he dropped down to a barely awake Ethan covered in blood and deep gashes in his arms.
Ethan knew someone came in but didn't have any fight in him to tell them to leave and was too out of it to know who it was but he did feel someone pick him up, he felt so cold so he held as tightly as his almost limp body could trying to get any heat he could but he was put down to quickly for his liking because he heard the door open and then he was put on a seat he was coming back but only slightly enough to tell he was in a car and someone was taking him somewhere.
Tyler told Ethan it was gonna be ok and that he's fine but he wasn't sure he could even hear him but if he could that was a good sign
"Ty...?"
"oh my god! thank you for not being dead!" Tyler was crying like he'd just had a miracle happen to him and in his head that's what just happened
" 'M sorry, Ty..." Ethan was sobbing "They will take me away from you and I don't wanna leave you cause I love you Tyler, please don't take me somewhere they'll take me away!" he explained through broken sobs
Tyler was speechless and thinking on what to do for one Ethan was alive and stopped bleeding a good while ago so maybe he could patch him up himself if Ethan was scared of being taken away from him and two.... wait did Ethan just say he loves him?!
"My god, you have a lot of explaining to do, Eth, but it can wait until I patch you up." he said stern but caring, he turned the car around to go home because they had enough stuff to patch Ethan up there.
Ethan looked so ashamed the he spoke up quietly "I didn't want to try and die but wanted the hurting to go away..."
Tyler thought that was what hurt him most that he almost lost Ethan and that Ethan thought he could talk to him or mark and did this instead. "Could you tell me what was hurting you?" he guessed this was his chance to get him to talk!
"I thought you would hate me because you're not gay and I love you and you'd never wanna see me again and you think I'm pathetic and I know there's something wrong with me I'm so sorry Tyler-" he was started to hyperventilate and Tyler cut him off
"one, who said I'd hate you? and two, I'm not gay but that doesn't mean I'm not into men, three, you're about to have a panic attack, is there anything I can do to calm you down?"
Ethan mumbled more to him self then anything "hug and kisses and blue helps..."
"when we yet you cleaned up we can hug all you want because you are not leaving my side until I trust you to be alone and kissing can be fun" he said smugly at the last part trying to forget what had just happened "and like the colour blue or...?"
"blue's my dog..."
Tyler gave Ethan a confused look as he parked the car because well he lives with Tyler and mark and they haven't seen any dog other than Chica
"a teddy dog." Ethan clarified
it had been 4 days of Tyler not letting Ethan away from him for more than a few minuets and he had told mark about it because well mark lived with them so he had to know to help keep Ethan safe, but Tyler had noticed how little Ethan eat because it had been 4 days and he'd only seen him eat half a bag of crisps and Tyler hadn't seen Ethan's room because they'd been sleeping in his room.
"hey Eth?"
"yeah?"
"you're not eating enough I've noticed." he said very matter-of-fact-ly
Ethan looked down because well he wasn't proud of his eating problem "so...?"
"so can you eat something because you stave please?" he gave a caring smile because well he loves Ethan he didn't want so see him hurting himself
"I will, just at dinner though with you and mark." he hoped Tyler would forget and let him just move the food around and talk to him and mark like he always does.
Tyler smiled at him and kissed his forehead "thank you, Eth." Ethan liked when Tyler did that because he felt cared about and loved he just wanted to be hugged and loved by his boyfriend
"I love you!" Ethan squeaked as he jumped to hug Tyler tightly. Tyler put moved Ethan to his side and picked him up to carry him.
"jezz... you weigh like nothing!" it made Tyler a little sad but Ethan put wanted to be good enough for Tyler "now, where to cause I think a movie might be nice so my room or your or the front room and we see if mark will join us?"
"mark makes movies funny with his silly comments!" Ethan said excitedly.
so Tyler still carrying Ethan on his hip knocked on marks door and he opened it quickly saying hi then looking at them a bit oddly "I guess jack owns me a 20," he chuckled
both gave him a confused look
"we made a bet and I bet that you two would get together but jack thought neither of you had the balls!" he laughed and Tyler and Ethan laughed too
"well we wanted to know if you wanted to watch a film with us?"
"depends."
"on what? " Ethan said a little worried mark would make them watch a horror movie
"will you to be making out the whole time or will we all be watching the movie?" mark asked smugly. Tyler just kissed Ethan's forehead , they chuckled the went to the front room to set up the move
"so what movie?"
Ethan happily yelled "legend of everfree!" at the same time mark loudly suggested "alien!"
"what's legend of everfree ?" Tyler asked and Ethan excitedly ran to his room to get a few movies from his collection and came back and put 4 very colourful cases on Tyler's lap and Tyler read them aloud " 'my little pony equestria girls', 'rainbow rocks', friendship games' and 'legend of everfree'... um Eth?"
"yeah ?" Ethan said still happy that he might get to watch one of his favourite movies
"look," he said trying to word it carefully not to upset Ethan " a low I'm cool with watch your pony movies with you now I know you like them I don't think mark's gonna want to watch ponies for an hour and a half,"
Ethan's smile fell "oh" he said quietly and made a movie to grab his movies but mark beat him to it and looked a the movies
"they're a little kidish but I'm sure I can enjoy watching it and poking fun at it!" mark smiled at Ethan and gave a wink to Tyler
so they all had a good time watching the movie and mark poking holes in the plot and making fun of it but it was still enjoyable and when it was done mark got started on dinner
Tyler spoke up "so Ethan, why didn't you say you liked these movies instead of the stuff I have that bores you to sleep ?" and asked and started to tickle Ethan who started laughing and trying to get away from Tyler's tickling
"be-because I," he tried to started explaining but he was laughing too hard so Tyler stopped the tickling "because we sleep in your room to you get to pick the movie I guess?"
"we can sleep in your room if you want," Tyler chuckled
"no...."
"why not?" he asked a little confused
"I'm not ready yet..." Tyler was confused but didn't push
about 20 minutes later mark called them for dinner
Tyler sat next to Ethan and Mark was on the other side on the table and Ethan was ignoring his food and just sat sideways on his chair and chatting to Tyler and mark about whatever he was thinking until Tyler realised he hadn't touched his food
"and its so cool cause he's bigfoots son and he-" Tyler cut his off
"eat your food or I'll feed you, Ethan," Ethan a bit off guard because did Tyler know he was a little? was it cause of the movie he picked? so many thoughts where going through his head that he was about to have a panic attack. "oh, fuck sorry, just breath, ok?" he was rubbing Ethan's back
Ethan calmed down and tried to eat some of the pasta but he did a messy job and shit he was dropping because since Tyler had been his boyfriend he'd been too afraid to drop into headspace, he did a messy job of eating but eat about 1/4 of what he had on his plate
"can we watch another movie da-dude?"
"I'm up for another movie, what about you mark?"
"Sure!"
Tyler got a few drinks from the fridge because drinking and making fun of a movie could be fun, so they put rainbow rocks on and got the drinks open and Tyler handed and fruity one to Ethan which was a bad idea because Ethan didn't know it was alcohol and said "oh juice, thank you Ty Ty!" and chugged it down because Tyler could say anything
Ethan very quickly got drunk and talking what mark and Tyler thought was nonsense "and that's why no one can go in my room!"
"wait why cant anyone go in there?"
"cause they will find my stuff and think I'm weird but I'm not weir' I'm just a good boy that loves his daddy lots and lots!" he kissed Tyler and started the chattering again "see I love daddy this much don't I daddy?" he held his arms to Tyler to show him the amount he loved him
"did you just call Tyler daddy?" mark questioned
"yeah ?" Ethan said as if he was confused to why mark was questioning it
"I didn't know you had a daddy kink, Eth," Tyler was ok with it and was a bit interested
"I have more than a daddy kink!" Ethan said proudly
"like?" Tyler egged on
Ethan moved in closer to whisper in his ear but he was being loud enough for mark to hear, "well it's not a kink but I'm a little!"
"a little what?" mark asked
"a little confusing." Tyler joked
"noooo!" Ethan whined "I'm just a little!"
"I don't understand Ethan." Tyler chuckled but Ethan grabbed his hand and made a hand movement at mark telling him to come over and he let them to his room and slowly pushed the door open showing a room with baby blue walls and boxes with cartoon characters on them and decals of characters on the walls, a box of colouring books and another box of toys, a blue dog teddy about half the size of Ethan, a blue pacifier was on the bed along with a dinosaur onesie and a diaper with space related things on it, Ethan must have thought he was gonna have a little night before the craziness started
Ethan pointed to himself "little!"
"like a little kid?" Tyler asked
Ethan nodded, Ethan was tired and drunk and in little space and he wanted to be loved from Tyler he didn't know what he was feeling but it was something the cotton of his headspace didn't really name so he just made grabby hands at Tyler hoping to be picked up
Tyler picked him up and started walking out of the room "well talk more about that when you're not drunk." he said kindly and kissed his head.