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Language:
English
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Published:
2018-01-07
Words:
301
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
16
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Goodbye Carl

Summary:

A song parody of 'Goodbye Earl' by the Dixie Chicks because everyone is sick of the smoking man at this point.

Notes:

I haven't written a song parody in forever so bear with me. Also thanking skuls for inspiring this.

Work Text:

Goodbye Carl

"To the tune of 'Goodbye Earl' by the Dixie Chicks

Agents Mulder and Scully were the best of friends
All through their FBI days
Hunting creatures from their basement office
Giving Skinner migranes every day

Mulder was determined to find out why his
Sister got taken away
So the agents searched for the truth
But Carl got in their way

Well it wasn’t two years
Of them working together
That Carl took Scully away.
He violated her rights
Through experiments
To keep the syndicate at bay.

Then, she was brought back after nearly dying
This happened time and time again
So Carl kept on working to make them suffer
By killing their family and friends

Mulder then got abducted himself even when
He came back but nearly died
Scully held his hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn’t take them long to decide
That Carl had to die

Goodbye, Carl
Those smallpox bees?
They seemed friendly to me, Carl
Alien probe?
Won’t you take one for the road, Carl
It’s a trip.
Riding in that spaceship, Carl

The syndicate came to find Carl,
Searched the office high and low
They waved their badges
And said “Thank you agents, if you hear from him let us know”

So the time went by and spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
It turned out Carl was a smug old scumbag
That nobody missed at all

The agents were relieved
Now that they could breath
They’re now married happily
They’re still in Washington
Living with their son,
And nobody loses sleep at night
‘Cause Carl had to die

Goodbye, Carl
Those smallpox bees?
They seemed friendly to me, Carl
Alien probe?
Won’t you take one for the road, Carl
It’s a trip.
Riding in that spaceship, Carl