Chapter Text
I opened my eyes to find myself falling onto the tarmac hard, my head hitting the surface with a resounding crack that had my eyes watering and my vision blurring. Despite this, directly in front of me I saw what I thought to me the front left wheel of a car.
There was a building pressure in my head where it had collided with the ground, and I thought I could feel something wet against my cheek. When I tried to move a shooting pain when through my skull and a wave of nausea washed through me, black spots in front of my eyes before I quickly gave up that idea.
I was aware of the noises around me, but every sound seemed dim and fuzzy. From the tones of the voices I knew that there were people shouting around me, but I couldn’t see anyone and it all sounded too quiet and miles away. A series of bangs started and stopped sporadically, then there was a crash that sounded louder than the other noises and I thought I saw the side of the car next to me shake.
Despite all of this, I felt I didn’t care about the carnage around me - I almost felt calm – like I had convinced myself it was all a dream.
And maybe it was. I had blacked out for a moment – there was nothing to suggest this was reality – in fact it was strikingly unrealistic at the moment, I didn’t understand anything my eyes were showing me and I swear I saw a flash of green over my head.
An experimental shift of my head made a shock of agony go through my body and I felt the wetness under my cheek again - now feeling more like a puddle.
Then I blacked out.
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My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, my arms felt like lead and I could barely move. It didn’t feel important to open my eyes right now. It didn’t feel important to move. Nothing was important I wasn’t even sure who I was. Had I ever known who I was? That was too deep. My head hurt too much for that. Just settle for sleep. Sleep was easy.
I drifted off again.
Something in the skin of my forearm felt tight and my arms were still too heavy to move. I finally decided it was probably best to open my eyes, but when I did I found myself blinded by a sharp, glaring light above me and I was forced to squint painfully at the sharp light above me.
I tried to get myself to sit up, but every muscle in my body screamed at me and my head spun until I wasn’t sure which way was up or down.
Somehow, I managed to throw an arm out behind me to catch myself before I fell back onto what felt like a mattress. My eyes slowly adjusted to find I was in a white room full of metal equipment, lying on a small single bed in the centre of the room. But this wasn’t my bed. And this wasn’t my room. I hugged my other arm to my chest at the overwhelming exposure and vulnerability I felt here, weakly propped up on my arm and unable to protect myself with absolutely no idea where I was.
My ears still seemed to be ringing, continuing to cloud any sounds around me, but I could hear the heart monitor on my side going crazy as I could feel myself panicking. Where was I? Where was everyone else? Where was Ma’am?
My eyes darted around the room desperately, trying to find any trace of anything familiar. Anything.
But no. The most I found was a piece of equipment that looked similar to something in my room – a metal box with cannisters and pipes attached - but it wasn’t the same one and nothing else around offered any comfort.
My breath was coming in short bursts now, and my mind couldn’t think straight in the panic. I could feel my vision blurring and I felt myself fall back onto the bed. I had a vague thought of maybe hearing a door open somewhere, then I was out again.
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When I opened my eyes this time, there wasn’t a harsh light, and there was only a dull, barely noticeable, ache in my head. I managed to easily – though warily – sit myself up right without any woozy or dizziness forcing me back down.
The room around me wasn’t the same at it had been, instead it was far more familiar.
My usual room. The same 4 walls that I usually resented, now offering the familiarity that was incredibly comforting, the same thin single bed under my legs, the same concrete floor and heavy window directly in front of me, the same equipment lining the walls.
But there was something odd - now that I looked again - the room was uncharacteristically dark. What was going on? What had the other room been? Why had I been moved there and now back here? Was it the sleeping period? Was that why it was so dark?
“Hello?” I called, but my voice came out quieter than I thought, and my mouth seemed heavy and cumbersome. I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “Hello?” I tried again, but the same thing happened.
There was no response and I wanted to leave my bed, but my body didn’t seem to respond, and I continued to gaze into the shadows directly in front of me.
“Ma’am?!” I called desperately to the rest of the room, any of the comfort I had from the familiar surroundings now being replaced with the sense of panic again. “Ma’am, please!” I pleaded into the shadows.
“Now my dear… there is no need to fret so…” Drawled a voice in amusement from the shadows in front of me and a man stepped out into the bare light surrounding me.
I tried to retreat away from this man, yet for some reason my movements seemed to make no change. This man screamed intimidating at me. He was tall and slim, dressed in armour with shoulder length hair that almost blended into the darkness behind him. He had a sinister smirk on his face as he eyed me like his next meal, his eyes – even from this distance – were a deep emerald that felt piercing and made me shiver. As he prowled forwards towards me, a golden staff suddenly in his left hand, and a crown of gold materialised on his head, the gold running upwards and forming two long curled horns.
I couldn’t do anything but gaze in awe and fear at the man, and this only seemed to please him as he stepped ever closer to me. Though I barely registered it – my eyes too focused on this stranger – the rest of the items in my room had vanished, leaving me cowering on my small bed in the middle of the room under a spotlight, everything else around me was black. Despite all of this, the man continued forward, clear even in the darkness like he was emitting his own glow.
He now stepped into the small pool of light around my bed, stopping only inches from my bedside, forcing me to draw my legs up back onto the bed and pulled up close to my chest. “Who are you?!” I managed to say, my voice shaking with fear as I hugged my legs. He leaned over, his face coming dangerously close to mine and forcing me to lean backwards. Despite my obvious discomfort he didn’t stop, and I continued to retract back as his faced followed mine until till I found myself lying down once more on the bed, to scared to question how I had got in this position and too concerned that I was no longer about to retreat any further from him.
“Would you like me to show you?” He asked with a sinister grin, coming all the more closer and I could see him raising his staff up, till it was suddenly point it down at me. I didn’t pause to consider how it had got there that fast, and I closed my eyes in fear.
“No! No! No! N-“
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My eyes snapped open and I couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed through me when the man was no longer towering over me. It was dream. A very vivid nightmare. I could feel my heart still hammering and a cold sweat over my body.
Any relief I felt from waking though, was short lived as my eyes soon confirmed I was back in the painfully bright and pristine room from earlier.
I went to sit up once again, determined to leave the bed now, but I soon found I could barely make it a few inches before there was tightening over my chest and I forced to lie back down. I head ached with the effort, and I could feel the panic building in me again. I wasn’t giving up that easy though. I squirmed and struggled desperately I fought against the restraints. No. No. I didn’t want this. What was happening?!
I thought about calling for help, but that would probably only bring the people that did this to me, instead I gritted my teeth and fought more, ignoring the painful tugging in my forearm or the erratic heart rate monitor.
I thought I could hear tearing and something hot was rushing through my veins as I fought against whatever held me down. But just as suddenly, my whole body felt like it had been plunged in icy water and my muscles went numb, any movements slowing as my arms and legs grew heavy and I slumped back to the bed in exhaustion. I couldn’t help the groan that released through my lips, barely registering the banging in the background or the voices around me as my eyes began to flutter closed. No I wanted to be awake. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to know what was going on.
A strong shiver ran through my body, shaking every muscle, then replaced with a burning heat that made me sweat ridiculously. The pattern repeated. This was torture.
Wait – was that a woman that just passed? Was that ma’am? No. This woman had red hair. Who was she? Where was ma’am?
Another figure, but I couldn’t tell if this was a man or a woman, my vision blurring too much.
I felt so hot, but so cold. I was burning, but I couldn’t stop myself from shivering. I gave up even thinking about trying to get my body to fight my current situation, all my concentration focused on the hell my body was going through. I didn’t even care about the people around me anymore - they could do what they wanted. Maybe they’d stop it. Maybe they’d kill me. Right now, I didn’t care if I lived or died – this was agony.
I wanted to curl up into a ball but the combination of my limp limbs and restraints stopped me from making any movement. The sweetness of a sleep was pulling at me again and it was a tempting offer now – blissful unawareness. I almost felt myself smiling at the promise.
I wasn’t aware I had closed my eyes, but I must have already begun dreaming because I could have sworn I just saw that nightmarish man again. I was too out of it to be scared though, or even to notice that he didn’t have his staff or that odd crown of his. I couldn’t even give it a second thought before I lulled into the softness of oblivion and darkness.