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Dean smiled at Castiel as the former angel laced their fingers together in the middle of the Impala's front seats. "Thank you for taking me swimming," Cas said, rubbing Dean's hand with his thumb.
"It's no problem Cas," Dean replied, gripping the steering wheel tightly with his left hand. "I mean, anything to get you out of your coat and into a swimsuit."
Cas rolled his eyes, Dean chuckling at the trivial human reaction. Dean had noticed Castiel's development of such qualities as Cas had settled into the Men of Letters Bunker with Sam, Kevin, and Dean. While his handling and understanding of sarcasm was still being worked on, Dean noticed how Cas had learned when it was appropriate to do certain things to Dean, how to look like he was paying attention when Sam rambled on about something Cas already knew, and other commonplace traits.
"Dean?" Cas' voice snapped Dean back into the present, making him realize he had been staring at Cas much in the fashion he used to chastise Castiel for. "As I was saying, do you think this lake will be deserted? We haven't spent much time together recently, and I miss having solitary time with you."
Dean turned and grinned at Castiel. "Well, we did have some 'solitary time' last night, Cas. Remember how I was able to make you moan just by-"
"Dean!" Cas protested, Dean laughing. Cas' face flushed; he turned his back on Dean, pretending to be interested in the scenery passing by. Dean just shook his head and smiled, pulling up to a coppice on the lake's edge that was void of people. On the other side of the water were small clumps of families and couples, too far to disturb the water but close enough for Dean to hear the screams of delight.
"C'mon, Cassie!" Dean called as he got out of the car. He busied himself with getting a cooler of water bottles and food from the trunk. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Cas pulling off his shirt. He let out a low whistle, plastering a look of innocence on his face when Cas whirled around. Castiel made a face at Dean and turned away, grabbing a few beach towels from the backseat.
Dean carried the ice chest down to the strip of sand and plopped it down, sitting on top of it. He took off his shirt, his cheap green swimming trunks rubbing against his skin. Cas threw the towels at Dean and ran to the edge of the water, a grin almost splitting his face.
"Cas!" Dean called, standing up as Cas began to walk into the water, his arms out. Cas turned around, his hands dropping onto his hips. "J-Just be careful, alright?"
Cas laughed, his head falling back. "Dean, I'll be fine. I've been swimming for a very long time. Aren't you going to come in?"
"Nah, the view from here is perfect," Dean teased, winking. Cas huffed a small laugh and returned to walking back into the water, his arms out so his hands could skim the top of water. Cas hissed as the water reached his crotch, hesitating for a moment before taking long step forward.
Dean watched from the beach as Castiel paused in the water, a hand shielding the sun from his face. His eyebrows furrowed as Cas walked deeper, gnawing on his lip nervously. He held himself back, memories of black goo and a rumpled trench coat thrust into a corner of the Impala making his heart drum against his ribcage. He stood up and paused at the water's edge, watching Cas. "Stop acting like such a mom, Winchester," Dean muttered, rubbing his face.
Cas turned back and smiled at Dean, his blue eyes bright. "Come on, Dean! It's great!" He splashed at the water around his ribs. "It's warmer once you adjust!"
Dean nodded and walked in, wincing at chill. "Yeah, warmer my ass," he muttered as he stood next to Cas, their shoulders brushing together.
Cas nudged Dean with playfully. "Why are so overwrought today?"
"I'm not overwrought; you're just relaxed for once! This is how people usually act."
"Of course I'm relaxed. I get to swim and spend time with my boyfriend," Cas said with a quick kiss to Dean's cheek.
Dean smiled at Cas, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Thanks, Cas. Race you to that rock?" Before Cas could agree, Dean dived in, soaking the rest of Cas' body.
They swam and splashed around for several hours, the sun slowly sailing through the sky. Though Dean had managed to beat Castiel in the first and unfair race (though Dean will definitely argue that it was completely fair), almost every race after that was won by Cas. Only when Cas had taken some pity on Dean was he able to win a few more times. Lazy floating was ruined when Dean dunked Cas underwater, resulting in the hunter attempting and failing to swim away as Cas grabbed him from beneath the water. Dean was able to get Cas back when he sprayed him with a mouthful of water, since Cas was too disgusted to stoop that low. Eventually, they ended up laying on a towel, Cas' head on Dean's lap. Their intertwined hands lay on Cas' chest; Dean could feel Cas' steady heartbeat beneath the back of his hand.
"Why were you so hesitant about swimming, Dean?" Castiel asked, turning his head to look up at Dean. His hair had begun to dry, damp tufts defying gravity.
Dean shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "It's just been a while, you know?" he fibbed half-heartedly.
"You're a terrible liar."
"Cas, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry."
Cas shrugged. "It's fine. I enjoy swimming because it reminds me of flying." Cas pursed his lips before continuing. "I mean, I know there is nothing that can ameliorate my lack of grace for now. Swimming just makes me think of that freedom from gravity that flying provided. Being able to move through the water is nothing compared to being able to fly across oceans, but I can understand why some creatures chose to stay fish instead of becoming birds and mammals."
"Oh," Dean said softly, his throat catching. His grip on Cas' hand tightened minutely as the familiar and bitter taste of guilt returned. If only he hadn't told Metatron about the shitstorm that was going on in Heaven-
"Dean, you still here?" Cas asked, his gruff voice disturbed. Dean squeezed Cas' hand in response. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Dean laughed softly. "I'm fine, Cas, I promise."
Castiel wrinkled his nose, skeptical. "Alright. Since I answered your question, will you tell me why you were so uncertain about swimming?"
Dean cleared his throat, looking up at the slowly darkening sky. "Just a bit grossed out by the lake, ya know. Never know who has done what in it."
"Oh for the love of-" Cas sat up, forcing Dean to do the same. Their entwined hands rested on Dean's legs as Cas said, "I know that something else is bothering you. If you had been truly bothered by the state of the lake you would have taken us to a pool. Your negative reaction towards us swimming was obvious." Cas hesitated before asking, "Are you worried I could embarrass you?"
"What? No, Cas! Don't be ridiculous!" Dean protested, rubbing the back of his neck again. "I'm just, uh, just- Cas, you know I suck at these things."
"Dean."
"Alright, alright," Dean muttered, sighing. Cas squeezed his hand encouragingly. "It's just, last time I saw you in water, I lost you, Cas. The only thing left of you was your damn coat, that and a few monsters. I tried to deal with it, but whenever I opened the trunk of the Impala I would see your coat and remember that I could do nothing to stop you from-" Dean's voice broke. He shook his head, staring down at his lap. "And then you came back, and you weren't even you! Then you went off your rocker and we ended up in Purgatory, and I couldn't save you again. I just-" Dean took a deep breath and sighed. "I just don't want to have go through losing you anymore, Cas."
Dean looked up as Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, burying his head in Dean's neck. Dean scooted forward and hugged Cas back, his eyes closed. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean," Cas murmured, his voice slightly muffled by Dean's neck. "I promise you that I am not going to leave you and Sam and Kevin. You're stuck with me," Cas added, smiling.
Dean huffed, chuckling. "Yeah, 'm glad I am," he said softly, kissing the top of Cas' head. His worries about Cas leaving weren't gone, but wrapped in each others arms in this halcyon moment made everything just a bit better.