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She feels like the battle is far from being over. All around her, Rey sees dead bodies, and she can taste the blood in the air. Her adrenaline levels are higher than they have ever been, her heart beating so fast, she fears it might break her rib cage. She is afraid, but she is also excited – she feels the power in her, the strength to accomplish so much, the ability to fix the world and make things right, once and for all… if it wasn’t for him.
Ben Solo just asked her to join him. He stands in front of her, his hand outstretched, awaiting her reaction. And Rey, well, Rey isn’t quite sure what to do. She stares at his gloved palm like it is a terrifying monster, completely lost in her thoughts. She begins to realize what exactly he is asking of her. It is not, by far, what she expected.
A moment stretches into a dark infinity. Frantically, she thinks about the choices that she has. He turned down the offer to leave his past behind and join the rebellion, and no combination of words will convince him otherwise. She could fight him, scream at him, do goodness knows what else, and it won’t change a thing. She is frozen. She can’t follow him, but she also can’t abandon him – not now, when she feels so much conflict in his soul, so much opportunity, and so much light…
She is out of time to decide. Soon he will make his own move. She breathes in heavily, and turns her thoughts off, for there are no options now but to do what her heart tells her, to act on pure instinct. She raises her hand, and before he can grasp her fingers, Rey takes a swing with her right arm and knocks him out on the spot. Kylo Ren lays unconscious at her feet, in the middle of a room filled with corpses. With an exasperated sigh, she grabs him by the collar and starts dragging him towards the door. He is coming with her, she says to herself – whether he wants it or not.
The corridors are empty, and Rey cannot believe her luck as she moves through the ship with the speed of a snail. Ben is heavy, too heavy to put on her shoulders, and she isn’t sure where exactly is that blind spot that Chewie is using to hide. He told her that he will wait for her, even though it is becoming more dangerous every second. She has to pause again. She is completely out of breath. As she prepares to take a turn into another corridor, it hits her – what she has done. Somehow, it feels completely justified.
She only meets one guard on her way to the Millennium Falcon. The First Order soldier watches in horror as the infamous rebel is dragging Snoke’s apprentice by the collar of his uniform. However, one of Rey’s stare is enough to make him turn around, whisper ‘I’ve seen nothing’, and walk away as if it was the truth. She doesn’t even have time to be impressed with her abilities.
-What the hell are you doing?! – Chewbacca roars, as he opens the doors to see Rey and her ‘prisoner’.
The spaceship is floating in vacuum, pressed to the smallest dock he could find, and ready to take off.
-Saving Ben Solo. – Rey replies. – Now help me, maybe?
Chewie continues to complain as he assists her, deciding they can argue about it later.
-Yes, I know they won’t be happy about it. – Rey mutters, looking for a piece of rope. – No, I am not doing this to prove anything. No, I haven’t turned to the dark side! – She is extremely offended by the notion. – Please, drive the damn spaceship! We need to get to Crait.
-Han would not approve of this.
Rey snorts. – Sure he would.
Ben is still unconscious, his hands now tied behind his back. ‘I must have knocked him out good’, she thinks. He is safe now, she says to herself. They both are. And that’s the only thing that matters.
***
Today Hux is more frustrated with his job than ever. The incompetence of his subordinates drives him insane, but he can’t stand to lose more of his soldiers. First the shooting of the rebel ships have stopped with the destruction of their dreadnaught, and then both Supreme Leader Snoke and Kylo Ren were cut off the comlines. Hux stormed into the throne room, ready to unleash his anger, and stopped abruptly on the spot. He was the only person alive in the room. Snoke was sliced in half, not a single guard was on their feet, and there was no sign of Ren.
He walked around the room, frowning at the pile of dead bodies, and paused in front of a particular spot. There, on the floor, was a smudge of blood, and a few pieces of Kylo Ren’s armor. Hux pressed his lips together. Whatever has happened here, he had reasons to believe that he just became the highest authority of the First Order. It didn’t matter whether Ren was alive or not – they didn’t need him. The Supreme Leader is dead. Long live the Supreme Leader.
***
-Rey! – Finn flashed a cheerful smile as his favorite scavenger walked through the doors of the mine.
So far, it seemed like the First Order suddenly forgot about the rebels. Their remaining ships could land on the surface of Crait without an issue, and everyone who was still alive was together, behind the secure walls. Finn wanted to pull Rey into a hug, but she wiggled out of it, smiling back.
-I’m glad you’re okay.
-Me too! – He laughed. – You will not believe what happened. We were so close to…
He didn’t finish the sentence. The door closed behind Chewbacca, who was carrying in his arms one of rebellion’s biggest enemies.
-No. – Finn refused to believe his eyes. – No, Rey, you didn’t.
-Yes I did. – She confirmed, helping Chewie to lower Ben on the floor in one of the corners.
-Do you realize what you have done? – Finn asked, his eyebrows raised high. – This will make us the biggest target of the First Order. We won’t be able to hide anywhere!
-Yeah? – Rey couldn’t help but look insufferably smug. – Why aren’t they shooting then?
Finn paused to think.
-They just haven’t found us yet. Holdo destroyed their ship, they are recovering from that.
-That’s not a good reason. – She shrugged. – If they wanted to, they’d be shooting at those doors right now.
-How do you know that?
-I just do, okay? – She looked Finn in the eyes, hoping he will see that she is completely sincere. – I can feel it. They are not coming after us. Besides, imagine what kind of chaos they’re gonna be in without their leaders! It will give us plenty of time to escape.
-You will have a lot of explaining to do. – Finn shook her head. – Even if you’re right and they will leave us alone, you still have that, - and he pointed at Kylo Ren, - to take care of. And how do you know he won’t choke you in your sleep?
There was now a crowd gathering around Ben, rebels looking at him, talking to each other anxiously, some poking him with their boots to see if he was alive. Leia was nowhere to be seen, so they had no orders to follow. Nobody felt like they were out of danger, and Kylo Ren, though tied up in a corner, didn’t help them calm down either.
-Hey there buddy! – It was Poe. For the last half an hour, he was checking on every single remaining person, making sure everyone was more or less alright. – I’m sorry it didn’t work out. But you tried your best.
-I don’t think we did. – Finn told him. – But we can’t change what happened. Have you met Rey?
-No, I haven’t. – Poe was already shaking Rey’s hand. – I think it’s safe to say you are rebellion’s new hero. Everyone’s heard of your accomplishments. Did you find Luke Skywalker?
-I… - She began, but Finn interrupted her.
-Her latest accomplishment is bringing Kylo Ren into a rebel base. – He said.
-Bringing whom to where now? – He looked behind his back, where the crowd around Ben was dissipating, then at Finn, then at Rey, then at Finn again. – I’m sorry, but, well, what the fuck?
***
-Listen, Rey, - for the first time today, Poe really wished General Organa was here to deal with everything herself, - I understand exactly how you did it, but what I don’t get is why you did it.
-I had to. – She had nothing else to say in her defense. – It was my only chance to save him.
-I didn’t ask you to.
She turned her head so quick, it hurt her neck. Ben Solo was finally awake, pressed into the wall and trying hard to sit up. Rey rushed to him and helped settle him into a more comfortable position.
-Don’t move too much. – She said. – You probably have a concussion.
-You won’t be able to keep me here for long. I am the Supreme Leader of the first order. They will obliterate your entire base to get me back.
-He sure is concussed. – Finn laughed. – Snoke is the supreme leader, not you.
-Snoke is dead. – He spitted out. – I killed him.
Finn looked at Rey, waiting for her to dispute that. – Is he telling the truth?
-Yes. – She nodded. – Snoke ordered him to kill me, and he killed Snoke instead.
-Okay, great, but that doesn’t prove anything. – Poe interfered. – He murdered his own father. What makes you think he spared you out of the goodness of his heart?
As they spoke, BB-8 rolled around them, beeping excitedly, noticed by no one.
-Hux will come for me. – Ben repeated. – You don’t have long. Run away while you still can.
-Yeah, very scary. – Poe smirked. – Waiting for your buddies to bust you out.
-You are brave now, Poe Dameron. You wouldn’t be so brave if my hands weren’t tied.
BB-8’s beeps intensified. With a high-pitched whistle, the tiny robot crashed into his owner’s leg.
-Not now, BB, - Poe dismissed it, - daddy is talking.
But the robot wouldn’t stop.
-Okay then. – Poe sat down in front of him. – What have you got?
Immediately, BB-8 projected a grainy hologram onto the floor of the rebel base. The picture was far away from perfect, but everyone could clearly see what it was showing: General Hux, standing in front of an army of Stormtroopers.
-I think BB-8 learned some bad things from that code breaker. – Finn said. – Looks like he broke into the First Order’s main feed.
-Shush. – Poe pressed a few buttons on the robot’s side. – There’s sound.
-…continue to serve the ideals and purposes of the First Order. – Hux was speaking from the highest place in the room, surrounded by guards. – The betrayal of Kylo Ren means nothing. In place of our deceased leader Snoke, I will take his position and take charge of the troops. We will get back our strength and replenish our fleet, and then we will crush the puny remains of the rebellion once and for all!
-Looks like your friends have abandoned you. – Finn pointed out. – They think you joined us of your own free will. Or maybe Hux wants them to think that, to strengthen his position. Guess he was tired of taking orders from a temperamental child.
Ben didn’t say anything. He couldn’t quite process what has just happened.
-That removes one problem. – Poe turned to Rey. – There’s still no guarantee that he won’t escape and murder us all.
-I’ll deal with it. – Rey assured him. – This is good. – She smiled. – They are backing off. That means we have plenty of time to escape.
-Escape how? – Finn questioned. – They can track us through light speed, remember?
-Well… - Poe muttered.
There was a moment of heavy silence, broken by Ben’s low voice.
-Hello, mother.
***
Leia Organa, general of the rebellion, stood tall in front of them. She didn’t even spare a glance for her son. It was like she was pretending he wasn’t even there.
-Is everyone inside? – She asked, looking at Poe.
-Yes, ma’am. – He replied. – Not many wounded either.
-Not many of us to begin with. – Finn muttered. – I disobeyed direct orders of the officer in command. I am prepared to take any punishment, General.
-You did what you thought was right. – Leia smiled, softly. – And you believed in people being honest and good. Those actions don’t deserve punishment.
-So what about my rank then? – Poe couldn’t stop himself.
-I will talk to you separately, Captain. – She told him. – But I think you learned your lesson as well.
-I didn’t bring Luke. – Rey felt like an utter disappointment. – I failed in my mission as well.
-He will join us when he is most needed. – Leia assured her. – You did your part.
-Are we going to stay here?
-No. – She looked around, counting roughly how many people were left in the base. – We will leave soon. Let people know, you two. – She gestured vaguely towards Poe and Finn.
-Can’t they track us? – Poe asked.
-Not in the Millennium Falcon they can’t. – She replied. – Han knew about the possibility of light speed tracking for years. Chewie told me that it saved them more times than he can count. And now that we can all fit on board of it… - She paused, sadness clear in her eyes. – We will have time to mourn the dead. Help people pack everything we can take from here.
-What about me, mother? – It was Ben again.
Leia continued to ignore him. She only spoke to Rey.
-It was your decision to bring him here, and he is your responsibility. If he harms my people, the blood will be on your hands.
Rey swallowed hard, and nodded. She knew full well what she agreed to the moment she chose to not turn her back on Ben Solo. Poe and Finn have left, following General Organa’s orders. Leia was gone as well. ‘You can do this’, Rey whispered under her breath, and went to Ben’s corner.
-Get up. – She told him. – We’re going to the ship.
He was unsteady on his feet, his head spinning and starting to ache.
-You won’t be able to watch me constantly. – He told her, concentrating on making every step. – You need to sleep, rest.
-And you don’t? -She laughed. – You know, I’ve always wanted to have a pet back on Jakku. A turtle, maybe. Or a droid. I guess dreams do come true.
He didn’t bother to reply.
***
There wasn’t that much space on the Falcon. Some brought their sleeping bags with them, some made themselves comfortable on the floor, in a pile of warm clothes and blankets. Rey was given a bed, which she took with gratitude. She threw the few possessions she had onto the bed, then found a steady piece of metal suitable for attaching handcuffs. Ben didn’t struggle as she closed the lock behind his back.
-Sorry, you’ll have to sleep like this for the time being. Until I figure out how to keep you safe.
-How to keep others safe from me, you mean. – He spoke for the first time in hours. – It is flattering that you find me so intimidating.
-I don’t find you intimidating at all. – She retorted, falling backwards onto the bed. – I’m just taking precautions, that’s all. Trust me, one day I won’t have to handcuff you anymore.
-If that’s what you want to believe. – He said. – I’ve heard girls like their fairytales.
She wanted to come up with a witty comeback, but suddenly the tiredness took over, and soon she drifted off into a deep sleep. ‘I’m no fairytale’ was the last thought on her mind. Next, she was seeing dreams of the scorching sands of her home planet.
Ben gave up on trying to find an angle at which his head wasn’t pressed against the hard metal. The pain migrated to his forehead, it was dull and just annoying enough to keep him awake for a while. The reality of his situation hit him a few minutes ago, and he was horrified at his lack of reaction. He should be raging, beating against the pathetic restraints, gathering his power to strike… yet he didn’t want to.
He has felt something every time the Force would connect him and Rey. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was still there. He tried to play confident, but the conflict inside him was stronger than ever before. He no longer knew what he wanted or what he needed. He was completely lost. Maybe it was a good thing she was making decisions for him. Maybe he needed time to finally choose a side.
In the moment, when she asked him to join her, he couldn’t make a decision, there was too much emotion boiling inside him. Snoke has always told him that his emotions were his biggest weakness. He tried to control it, push it away – but then his sadness, anger and despair would burst out in a storm, destroying everything in its path. It didn’t have to be like that anymore. Nothing Snoke has said mattered. He was gone, and it was time to face his own inner demons.
As the spaceship rocked gently on the waves of hyperspace, Ben Solo settled into another corner and rested his aching head on the edge of Rey’s bed. He glanced at her, her face so beautiful, so peaceful… he pushed the thought away. He should be so angry… he should be, but he’s not. Instead, something deep inside of him is happy that he’s here, away from all of it, and near her. He looked at her one more time, closed his eyes, and nodded off to sleep.