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I haven’t seen Kanata around all day. It’s been bugging so me so much I can’t focus. I checked the Marine Bio club room, the fountain, the practice rooms that we usually use, the AV room, I even skipped second and third period to run down to the beach just in case he’d decided to play hooky and sit at the edge of the water like he does sometimes. Right now, I’m sitting at my desk, not paying attention to what Glasses is lecturing us about, and staring out the window down at the fountain. The fountain. Where Kanata should be.
I glance down at my phone, hidden underneath my desk, in the off-chance that he texted me. Like the past eight times I’ve checked: nothing. I sigh and absentmindedly doodle over my math notes. I keep thinking about Kanata. Is he alright? Did he get sick? He’d tell me if something happened, right? I shake my head. Of course he’d tell me. He always does. I look over at the fountain again. Still not there. Looking back down at my math notes, I find that I’ve filled two pages with small drawings of Kanata and even picked up my blue pen and colored them in.
It’s kind of… seriously lonely without Kanata at school. I stare down at the drawing I did of Kanata lying down in the fountain. Grab my mechanical pencil, scribble in myself sitting next to him. Flip over to an empty page and make more little drawings of the two of us together. Down at the beach, watching tokusatsu with our boys, singing back-to-back like we did during Supernova, me listening to Kanata talk about marine life, going to the aquarium together, sitting next to each other and holding hands. Drawing the two of us helps a little bit.
“He~y, Taichou! Are we doing unit activities today or what?”
“Huh?” I look up from my notebook. “Nagumo?”
“You’ve been staring down at that notebook for ages now! What’re you doing with it, anyways?”
Nagumo snatches it away from me before I can stuff it into my desk. My face burns. I really didn’t want anyone to see those.
“Ooh! Taichou-dono! These are really good! Midori-kun, come look!”
Takamine comes over to where Nagumo and Sengoku are pouring over my notebook, and I hide my face in my hands.
“Morisawa-senpai, is that you and Shinkai-senpai?”
“Yes, it is. Come on, guys, give it back, I didn’t even want Kanata to see those.”
“Why not?” I can hear them flipping through all the pages I was drawing on. “They’re kind of cute, Senpai.”
I groan. “It’s just… whatever, I’m canceling unit activities ‘cause I can’t find Kanata anywhere. I even skipped class to go look for him down by the beach.”
“Taichou,” Nagumo pauses and snaps the notebook shut. “Don’t we usually do practices and lessons without Shinkai-senpai, anyway?”
I sigh and drag my hands down my face. “I don’t know, it’s just sort of… and Kanata’s usually… but I haven’t… I’m feeling kind of weird and gross so I’m just going to go straight home.”
I pull the notebook out of Nagumo’s hands, toss everything from my desk into my bag, sling it over my shoulder, stand, tell Takamine to let the other club members know that practice is canceled, say good-bye. As I walk out of my class I can hear Sengoku mumble to the others, “He must really miss Shinkai-dono to be so grumpy.”
I run a hand through my hair. Sengoku’s right. I miss Kanata. A lot.
Since getting home, I’ve spent most of my time holed up in my bed. I had a short but seriously fitful nap that, really, just made me feel worse. Where is Kanata? Every thought loops back to him. Now, I’m flicking through all the drawings I did. It’s all Kanata, Kanata, Kanata with the occasional scribbly, where are you? I toss the notebook to the floor, roll over, and pick up my phone. My phone with an unsent: I miss you. My phone finally goes off with a call from Kanata and I accidentally hit send.
“Kanata! Where have you been today? I looked all over for you!”
“Chiaki,” He’s whispering. “I have been stuck at home all day.”
I sit up. “Wait, what do you mean ‘stuck’? Like, you’re not allowed to leave?”
“Yes, can you come over to my house?”
“Of course! I’ll leave as soon as possible!”
“Okay, good, there’s a plum tree outside my bedroom window, if you climb that you can get in without the rest of my household knowing.” A moment of silence.
“Kanata?”
“Someone’s coming. I have to go, and hurry!”
“I will!” Then, as an afterthought, “I love you.”
“I love you, too, see you soon.”
He hangs up, I toss my phone down on the bed, and immediately pull out of my pajamas. If I’m sneaking in it’s probably a better idea to wear black as opposed to my usual red. So, black jeans, dark grey t-shirt, and black sweater. I throw it all on, resist the urge to mess with my hair, sprint downstairs, plop down at the threshold, and start putting my shoes on.
Mom comes out of the kitchen and asks me, “Chia-chan, where do you think you’re going so late?”
I don’t look up from tying my shoelaces. “I’m going to Kanata’s house for a little bit, he called and asked me to come over.”
“How long are you going to be over there?”
“Mm, not sure. If I stay the night I’ll call home, I’ve got my glasses on me, too, just in case.”
“If you stay the night, at least come home in the morning to get your uniform.”
“I will, promise, see ya!” I make sure to wait until getting to the street before I start running. Sneaking in late at night is kind of really exciting. I giggle to myself and try to remember how to get to Kanata’s house. If I remember right it’s not too far from home and I can cut through the beach to avoid going through the front gate. Something tells me that I’m going to be doing this kind of thing a lot after tonight.
Pass by the hot springs, slide down the banister of the steps to the beach, trip over a rock and almost eat dirt, slow my pace from a sprint down to a jog once my chest starts to hurt, stop completely after a few kilometers down the beach when I see what I recognize to be Kanata’s house. I creep up the stairs leading to the backyard as quietly as I can and suppress more giggles.
I slip behind a tree when I hear voices from the downstairs of his house. Putting on the darkest clothes I own was definitely the smart choice. I peek out from behind my makeshift hiding place and see the plum tree Kanata was talking about. With a running start I jump up and just barely get a hold on the lowest branch. I break one and the loud crack! makes the voices I heard stop. I gulp and start climbing as fast as I can to put distance between myself and the ground. I’m so excited my skin gets that weird itch to move and I have the temptation to giggle.
After a few minutes I can hear Kanata going, “Psst! Chiaki! Over here!”
I look over and seeing Kanata’s face makes me smile. The branch closest to his window isn’t wide enough for me to walk on, so, I drop down, carefully put one hand in front of the other, sliding along the length of it. With about a meter and a half left in between me and the window I tell Kanata to move away from it. Once Kanata is safely out of the way, I swing my legs back and forth, gathering enough momentum to launch myself through the window and into his room.
After a perfect landing, I put my hands on my hips, smile, and say, “Ta-da! He sticks the landing!”
Kanata laughs and it’d be a lie if I said it didn’t make my heart skip a beat. I shrug off my sweater—being mindful of my glasses sitting in the left pocket, Mom’d be seriously mad if I broke another pair—then pull him close to me. Even with how human-like he’s become, Kanata still smells like the sea.
The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I missed you. I really did look all over for you. I skipped class and ran down to the beach to see if you’d gone there like you do sometimes.”
Kanata sighs and he murmurs, “I wanted to see you. I was going to message you, but they took my phone away before I could. I missed you, too. I have been thinking about you all day long.”
“I couldn’t focus so much from thinking about you that now my math notes are covered in little drawings of you.” My face burns. “I, uh, I mean, I didn’t mean to start drawing you, it, uhm, it just sort of happened before I realized it.”
Kanata giggles. “Your stuttering when you get embarrassed is cute.”
I groan. “Jeez, you’re worse than our boys pouring over the drawings, y’know that?”
I get a gorgeous smile in return. “Yes, I know.”
With Kanata here and pulled close to me that grumpy feeling I’ve had all day disappears. It feels so, so good to see him. Feels good to be with him. Right when I’m about to kiss him, there’s footsteps coming up the stairs and I get that excited feeling again.
Kanata pulls me over to a dark blue—of course it’s blue—desk, tells me to hide underneath it, then throws himself down on his bed. I glance over and see my sweater still lying on the floor by the window. I want to grab it, but I’m too far away and the footsteps are too close. Here’s to hoping whoever it is either doesn’t notice or Kanata can lie really well to explain its existence. The door opens and I put my hands over my mouth.
“Kanata.” A distinctly feminine voice.
“Yes?” His voice sounds so empty, it’s the complete opposite of what it sounds like when he’s talking to me or our boys. In that same vein, the way whoever it is called to Kanata is sort of… cold. Mom refers to everyone in Ryuseitai by something similar to the Chia-chan reserved for me. It’s always ‘Kana-chan’, ‘Shino-chan’, ‘Mido-chan’, and ‘Tora-chan’ in that same affectionate tone she uses with me. I wonder what it’s like to grow up being spoken to in such a cold way.
“The bath is ready for you.” A pause. “Who’s sweater is that?”
I gulp. Kanata lies. “It is Chiaki’s sweater. He lent it to me after I got a cold swimming in the fountain at school.”
“Hmph. Be sure to return it promptly.”
“I will.” The door shuts and I wait for a minute before letting out a big sigh. I crawl out from underneath the desk, look at Kanata, then burst into giggles. Thinking about what Mom calls the other members of our unit makes me trip up and call him by a nickname. “Oh, jeez, Kana-chan, that was so close.”
Kanata smiles at me. “So, ‘Kana-chan’ now, is it?”
I rub the back of my neck and stutter. “I, uhm, I-I was just… uhm, y’know, thinking about what my Mom calls you and, uh…” I let out a soft, embarrassed mmhhrrr noise.
A sweet laugh, then a sweeter, “You really are cute, you know?”
He comes over, crouches down, kisses me softly. Every time he kisses me, I swear, I could melt into a puddle. His lips are soft and his mouth is sweet and slightly salty like a salted caramel. If given a say in the matter, I wouldn’t mind sitting here like this all day long.
He pulls away and the first thing out of my mouth is a quiet, “Wow…”
Kanata laughs, takes me by the hand, and says, “Come on, Hero, take a bath with me.”
“I, uhm, okay.” I pause then add, “But, wait, I didn’t bring pajamas with me.”
“You can wear some of mine. Let’s go.” I let him pull me down the hall, carefully, quietly, trying to make it seem like one set of footsteps and not two. With a quick look down towards the stairs, we slip in. Compared to my house, the bath here is huge. The bathtub itself could easily fit three people in it.
After pulling out of my clothes, scrubbing myself clean, and slipping into the water—which is naturally just barely below being hot—I turn to Kanata. My thoughts get kind of muddled. His clothes really don’t do justice to his frame. Muscular, but not overly so; lean, but not in a skinny kind of way. Delicate soft, soft, soft pale skin that’s like a porcelain doll’s. I swallow hard.
“Kanata, let me wash your hair for you.”
“I can do it myself, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, but still, it’ll be nice.” He gives in and hands over the shampoo to me. Truthfully, I just wanted an excuse to touch him. I scrub gently, working the soap through down to the scalp, smile at the soft noise of contentment that Kanata lets out. I realize now, with Kanata sitting down in front of me, I could easily tickle him. With a quick flick of my hands to get all the soap off, I readjust how I’m sitting to reach better.
“Hm? Chiaki, what is it?” Kanata turns his head to look at me and I give him a great big smile before wrapping my arms around his waist and starting to tickle him. At first, I get a yelp, then he starts to cackle. In his struggles to break free from my arms, Kanata gets shampoo all over the right side of my face, but, honestly, getting to see him smile like that is worth it. All wide and pretty and undeniably happy. With a loud graah! I pull him up and into the bathtub with me.
Kanata wipes the soap off my face and says, “You are the absolute worst!”
“Aren’t I?” I smile and push the hair away from his eyes. “You can’t deny that you love me, though.”
He sighs. “Yes, yes, I love you.”
I give him a small peck of the cheek. “I love you, too.”
“Hey, Chiaki, will you stay here for the night?”
“Of course.”
Kanata’s clothes are, by far, way too big for me. They hang off me, and the right side of the shirt he lent me has slipped off my shoulder. That’s not to say they aren’t comfortable. They’re extremely comfortable and have that same light saltwater smell Kanata always has.
“Uh-huh. Yeah, I’ll be by in the morning. Bye.” I hang up and flop down on the bed next to Kanata. “Mom says, well, my mom says that you have to come over in the morning and have breakfast.”
“Why?” The small bit of light in the room makes him look even more ethereal than usual.
“Something about thanking you for letting me sleep over.” The small smile on his face is absolutely dreamy. A thought pops up. “Hey… Kanata, what’re you going to do after graduation?”
“Mmm, I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
“Well,” I wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close to me. “I just get this feeling, like, that you’re going to disappear after we graduate and then I’ll never see you again.”
“Chiaki, would you do something for me?”
“Anything, my love.”
“After we graduate, come and steal me away from here. Take me someplace far away, I don’t care where, just as long as it is away from here.”
“But won’t your household go after you?” I run my fingertips up and down along his spine.
“I will change my name, then. That will make it at least more difficult.”
“What would you change it to, though?”
“Hmm… I will change it to yours.”
I can’t help but smile. “Y’know, Morisawa Kanata does have a nice ring to it.”
“Well then, Hero, will you come steal me away?”
“Of course,” I kiss him; soft and sweet. “I look forward to it.”
Kanata gives me a little, sleepy smile before mumbling something incoherent and falling asleep. I tug the blankets up over us and can't help but stare at him for a few moments. He looks so content and at ease, like there's no where else he'd rather be while sleeping than right next to me. I whisper, I love you, then fall asleep overly warm and happy.