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Garrus Vakarian shifted on his feet as he stood in front of the mirror in the captain’s cabin bathroom. His reflection stared dubiously back at him, three fingered talons of each hand gripping tightly on the edge of the sink. Mandibles flared as he exhaled shakily, coming to rest at the sides of his mouth, a vision of the past seeping into his mind.
Soft, heated skin gently marked by old scars pressed into his back, and the image of Commander Amari Shepard joined his within the mirror. Round, emerald eyes- somehow already fully alert despite just having been awoken moments before- peered at Garrus.
“You’re up early.” Shepard observed, her husky voice thick from the grog of sleep. Fingers played over the material of the Turian’s casualwear as one corner of her lips curled upward. “That’s unusual. Something on your mind?”
“Nah.” Garrus dismissed, turning within her embrace to meet her gaze without seeking it via their reflections. “Nothing like the fate of the galaxy hanging in balance or anything like that keeping me awake.”
“I hear you.” She mumbled in return. “It feels like every step forward we’ve made, Cerberus is three moves ahead. It’s enough to keep a good night’s rest at bay.” Shepard paused, raising a hand to gently stroke the smooth carapace along the side of Garrus’ face. “But I always sleep better when you’re with me.”
A quiet rumble moved through the Turian’s chest as he leaned against her touch. They were so different, physically, and so yet somehow very much the same.
“Glad I can help.” He mused, bringing one digit to brush over a freckled cheek. One of the traits he found so endearing about Shepard was how vulnerable, how real she seemed in the morning. Or, whatever morning could be determined as when one was flying through the stars.
Face marked by two thin scars- one on her right cheek, the other just a hairline of a thing from the left corner of her lips, no dark makeup rimming her green eyes or coloring her lips, and her dark hair was always in a mess of curls. He never bore witness to her regiment of taming the short locks down or the makeup being applied- Shepard always shooed him out of her cabin before she got dressed for the day.
“What?” Amari raised a full, shapely brow when it seemed Garrus had stared too long without saying anything.
He chuckled, mandibles jumping lightly with the sound. “Has anyone ever told you how cute you are in the morning?”
Stepping back, she wrinkled her nose in protest. “Cute is for children, Vakarian.”
“No, but hear me out.” Garrus insisted, turning her by the shoulders to look into the mirror. “The freckles, the big eyes, all this unruly hair… I don’t really know what’s considered conventionally attractive to humans, but if you’re asking me, you’re downright adorable, Shepard.”
Groaning, Amari reached for a tube of her favored lipcolor - a red hue so deep it was practically black. “I didn’t ask you. This is why the dark makeup. I’m a force to be reckoned with, not a school girl.” She expertly applied the color to her lips, facing Garrus with a smirk as she teasingly prodded him in the shoulder. “Fear me.”
Another laugh followed as he pulled her against him, dipping his head near an ear. “If that’s supposed to scare me, Shepard, it isn’t going to work. All that does is make those lips of yours more prominent-- and I’m certainly not going to complain about that.”
“Oh you like them, do you?” Shepard teased, and promptly pressed a kiss to the unmarred mandible. It left a perfectly formed print of her lips , and she grinned. “Take them with you then. For luck. We’ll be making way for Horizon, soon- you might need it.”
Before he could protest, Garrus was ushered out of the cabin, directed to take the time he needed to prep for their upcoming missive.
He ran into Tali shortly after stepping off the elevator, her small snicker undeniable as she spotted the mark Shepard had left behind.
“Nice makeup.” The Quarian gently razzed, attempting to keep her tone matter-of-fact.
“Yeah?” Garrus shifted his gaze downward to her, remaining unfazed. If he had the ability to actually blush, however, this might have been the moment it would happen.
Tali shrugged. “Sure. It suits you.”
“Thanks.” His head lifted a bit higher, and he considered leaving it there after all. “It’s for luck. Apparently.”
----
Garrus recalled that second visit to Horizon had nearly gone all wrong. He hadn’t been there with Shepard since they had worked together with Cerberus in an attempt to stop the Collectors. The tables had dramatically shifted since then, with what was essentially a full-on Terrorist group working against them at every turn.
But they had made it through, and from that mission forward Garrus ensured that Shepard would leave the impression of her lips smack on his mandible before they got started. It was all superstition, of course, but he wouldn’t take any chances. Sharing that small moment prior to diving into a mission made it feel as though Amari was right there with him, even if they somehow became separated in the line of fire. An odd thing that somehow just gave him strength.
It reminded him that he had that one thing going right in his life.
It was what he thought saved him from certain death in London.
Closing his eyes, the memory of the battle there hit him full on, rushing his mind against his will.
“Maybe we’ll see what a Human-Turian baby looks like.” He speculated, standing within the ruins of a building within a secured perimeter- the world beyond it burning under vicious Reaper attacks.
Shepard laughed, though there was still fear in her eyes-- unsettling to Garrus; she was the strongest woman he knew.
“Or maybe we can adopt. I think biology is against us on this one, Vakarian.”
But she didn’t say no to the idea. Starting a family with him. Being with him when this horror story had finally come to an end. Hope surged through him, giving him something to look forward to.
“There will be a lot of little Krogans running around.” Garrus pointed out, as though seriously considering the notion of he and Shepard with their own herd of rambunctious Krogan children. It was amusing, to say the least.
She had nearly left him without much else to say, had nearly forgotten to leave him with that good luck charm of a kiss marking his face. He ordered her to return alive should they get separated in the heat of battle, and she made no promises. But she did leave him that kiss.
“For luck.” Shepard murmured, as had become customary. The soldiers around them dared not utter a word about it. Everyone had their rituals when it came to war, and who the hell was going to cross Commander Shepard anyway?
Garrus was chosen as part of her squad. He never had the chance to ask why, but there were no doubts that they worked extremely well together. Tali had gone with them, instead of Liara- instead of Kaidan. A biotics wielder would have been the smarter choice, but Shepard insisted she was making the right call.
The final run towards the beacon still claimed nearly every life. They watched soldier after soldier fall, deafening gunfire dying down to an eerie silence as lives were snuffed out in the span of a breath. Soon, they were among the handful of bodies still running, nearly reaching their quarry when an explosion threw a Kodiak unit directly into their path.
“I need an evac, now !” Shepard’s voice laced with panic-- she understood the danger, her eyes fixated on Garrus, noting that he had been badly injured. She had placed him there, and Tali, and they wouldn’t be subjected to it any further- she couldn’t ask it of them.
It was the last time he’d ever see her. She chose to stay behind. She understood her fate- if no one made it to that beam then everything they had fought for would be lost to the decimation of the Reapers. Harbinger would win, the Harvest seen to completion. It couldn’t be risked, not as long as Shepard still drew breath.
----
Her final words still echoed clearly through Garrus, as though she stood there with him. Uncertain of when he’d picked it up, his eyes dropped to the tube of dark lipstick clutched between two taloned digits. There was no reason he should have lived that day, but Tali told him it must have been luck.
Baseless, of course. Empty comfort, but he appreciated the effort all the same.
And now- with the Reapers destroyed, the Normandy grounded for an unspecified amount of time, and Shepard gone , Garrus wondered just where he’d find that luck. If he even needed it, anymore.
Shakily, he fumbled with the tube, lacking the dexterity of smaller, human digits, and brought the tip of the color to his mandible. He drew, attempting to mimic the shape of Shepard’s lips, but it was all wrong. Frustrated, Garrus wiped it clean and tried once more, and again...and again...
They had a missive coming up, to comb the area for viable materials to make repairs on the ship. Who knew what was out there?
In the back of his mind, he understood it was borderline crazy to believe that simply drawing on a cheap imitation of Shepard’s kiss would serve as any kind of protection.
“This is stupid.” Garrus grumbled after the fifth attempt. But his insides ached in a way he couldn’t quite explain. Grief was still raw and nightmares- something he had never before truly experienced- ran rampant while he slept.
He needed this.
By the seventh try the lipcolor was running low, and Garrus was loathe to waste the rest of it. Still, it wasn’t the worst effort. The plump shape had nearly been achieved, and the longer he stared at it, the more it seemed as though Shepard herself had put it there.
It would do.
When he met the others on the bridge, helmet under one arm, he felt a small nudge at his side. Tali tilted her head quizzically at him, tapping the side of her mask in reference to Garrus’s marked mandible.
“For luck?” She asked softly.
He nodded once before securing his helmet into place. “For luck.”