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Gay Episode Remixes plus Kwami Shipping

Summary:

I was planning to do some fluffy gay remixes of episodes but it snowballed. Now contains 100% more plot.
Alternate universe Evillustrator and Dark Cupid.
I can't resist shipping Tikki/Plagg

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

School was a normal boring day with no akuma attacks to disrupt lessons. The only entertainment for the class was Nathaniel getting scolded in science and then tripping over Chloe’s bag. The school bully took the opportunity to look through his stuff.

“Ooh, look Sabrina. Someone’s gay for Adrien,” she simpered. “And it’s him as a superhero rescuing the prince.”

“Give me that!” Nathaniel grabbed as much as he could before the teacher ordered him out.

Nino and Alya had things to do after class so Adrien was on his own for the project that day. He also made a detour to talk to Chloe who had a page of Nathaniel’s sketch pad. “Did you steal that?”

“Of course not, he dropped it. Pretty creepy and pathetic, right?”

“Chloe, you’re sounding homophobic, now.”

“Ugh, as if, you’re just so out of his league. It would be just as gross if someone like Marinette was making fan art.”

“Sure,” he took the opportunity to snatch the stolen sketch away from her. “But you still don’t want your dad hearing about it, right?” Mayor Bourgeois ran a strictly pro-equality platform. Chloe snorted something unintelligible and stalked off towards her locker.

Miraculous time skip

Chat Noir spent all afternoon with Chloe. He did a little bit of her homework, mostly to entertain himself. The claws on his suit made his handwriting significantly different from Adrien’s. Ladybug called after three hours and offered to take over, which was a relief. He had his own homework to worry about and Natalie would know if he didn’t come home eventually.

He considered just climbing in his bedroom window but remembered that he’d been Chat since the end of school. Natalie might notice that he never took a car home so he called his driver to pick him up. This decision inadvertently saved his secret identity. He entered his bedroom and paused. Someone redecorated while he was gone. There were vases of flowers, a hanging chandelier of candles and floating music notes. A strangely dressed person sat near the broken window and perked up when Adrien entered.

“I waited for you.”

“Uh, hello, do we know each other?” Adrien closed the door behind him. Last thing he needed was for Natalie to see this.

“I used to be Nathaniel now I’m Evillustrator.”

“Oh, Nath, was that you at the library too?”

“Yes, I had to teach Chloe a lesson for being selfish and cruel.”

“Eh, yeah she has some problems.” He fished the paper out of his bag and offered it back. “Sorry she stole your sketchbook earlier, that wasn’t cool.”

“See, this is what I was talking about, you’re too nice to spend time with her.”

“You’re not here to hurt me then?” He belatedly realized he should have been more afraid to see an akuma in his room.

“What? Of course not, you’re Adrien. You’re nice and sweet and perfect. I could never hurt you,”

“I don’t know if I’m perfect,” Adrien muttered.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You put everyone’s happiness above you own and you shouldn’t have to do that. I want to make you happy.”

“Uh, thanks. But please don’t attack Chloe again. I know she’s not a nice person but she’s still my friend, I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to her.” He laid on the drama a little bit. Maybe he could talk this akuma down without anyone getting hurt.

“You’re really too good for this world.” A little awkward being hit on by an akuma, thankfully it was working. “But if it’s for you; alright, I’ll leave her alone.”

Adrien pondered how to ask him to give up his akuma superpowers but Evillustrator didn’t give him a chance. “I wanted to see you. It’s my birthday, I was wondering if you would come to my party.”

“Sure.”

“You won’t regret it!” He gave him instructions and made himself a jetpack. He flew out the window.

“Aw, he’s asking you out.” Plagg appeared from Adrien’s pocket.

“He’s akumatized.”

“Exactly, if he’s this nice evil, he must be the biggest softie in the world.”

Adrien ignored that. “We know where he’s going maybe Chat Noir should crash the date, or Ladybug could.” He thought about it for a second. “Adrien can talk him down and Ladybug can purify the akuma. I need to call her, Plagg claws out!”

He called her to tell her the plan.

“How do you know this?” She asked.

“I…overheard it. Amazing cat senses and all.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

Wait, Chat Noir couldn’t be there. “Actually! You go ahead. I’ll watch Chloe.”

“Adrien is the one in danger now, Chloe will be fine.”

“What if it’s a lie? Yeah, I’m not comfortable leaving her unguarded. But you should go, you need to purify that akuma.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

That taken care of, he de-transformed and collected his things. “You are the worst liar ever.”

“Hey, I haven’t been caught yet.” He gave Plagg some cheese to quiet him and snuck out the back door. Back door rather than the window in case Evillustrator was watching.

He found a boat on the river, decked out festive lighting
“Wow, this is nice.” Nathaniel made the boat move down the channel and played some music.

“I was wondering, how’d you become an Akuma?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, did you have a choice? Did Hawk Moth offer you something? I guess I’m just curious how it works.” He genuinely was curious, also this could be useful information to not only talk Nathaniel down now but for Chat later.

“I just want you to love me.”

“You don’t need superpowers for that. I already liked you.”

A sound, almost like a muffled curse made them both glance behind them. Ladybug didn’t quite duck out of sight fast enough.

“You lied to me!”

“No! I just…”

“Get his pen!” Regardless of circumstances, Adrien couldn’t disobey an order from Ladybug and lunged for Nathaniel’s stylus. Evillustrator grabbed his arm and pushed him between himself and Ladybug so Adrien was the one to get tangled up in her yoyo string.

Miraculous break

“I, um, you’re so hot, I mean, safe here. I have to go.”

“Right, thanks for the save, Ladybug.”

The second Ladybug swung away Plagg decided to comment, “Once this is over you should ask him out.”

“Who? Nathaniel?”

“Yeah, you know, the guy who managed to give you an awesome first date while akumatized.”

“He seems nice but I’m still waiting for Ladybug.” Maybe Plagg had just forgotten.

“Did I miss something? Cause from what I heard she turned you down hard.”

“She didn’t! I’ve never actually asked her out.”

“Sure…” Plagg said sarcastically but Adrien was used to his attitude and ignored it.

“Do you think I should?” This had been bugging him for months he wanted to talk about it.

“Yeah, go ahead, better than mooning like you have been. That much pinning can’t be healthy.”

“Okay, after we defeat this akuma.”

Break

They took Nathaniel down to the hotel lobby so he could find his way home. Chat stopped Ladybug from leaving.

“I promise this will only take a second. Will you go on a date with me? As heroes, we don’t have to know civilian identities if you don’t want to.”

“Don’t joke about that, Chat.”

“I’m serious! I’ve never joked about liking you.”

“Really?” She blinked at him. “I thought you were… never mind.” He looked at her hopefully, his ears and tail may have been perking up. “Um…”

“Please My Lady?”

“Sorry, Chat, I don’t like you that way. I mean, you’re a great partner but us on a date…” she frowned at the thought then noticed how dejected Chat looked. “I like you a lot, as a friend. Really, you’re one of my best friends. I just…don’t want to mess that up.” She belatedly realized how harsh she had sounded and tried to make this last part of her rejection as nice as possible. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to lie for me.” He sounded okay to her, disappointed but okay.

“Also, I um, kind of have someone, in my civilian identity.” She felt the need to add to try to make him feel better.

“Really, it’s alright.”

She was saved from this conversation by his ring beeping. “You’re about to change back, we have to go.”

Miraculous break

“Worst day ever.” Adrien collapsed on his bed. He’d held it together in public but now he wanted to cry.

“Cheer up. Ladybug is still your friend and you’ve got that boy who wants to take you out. Sounds like a win-win to me.”

“You don’t know anything about love,” he grumbled into his pillow.

“Sure, I do. I love cheddar, I love swiss, and I love camembert,” Adrien groaned, so not in the mood for this. “And I’ve been in a relationship for the past 5000 years.”

“Wait, What?!” That prompted Adrien into sitting up. Plagg was scarfing down cheese rather than notice his distress. “What kind of relationship? How?”

“Wow, rude. We kwami have all the same emotions as you humans, you know. Well, except that we don’t reproduce so we don’t have that sex drive that you’re all obsessed with.”

“TMI, Plagg. Are you married? Or whatever kwami do?”

“Eh,” he’d already lost interest in favor of cheese.

“Uh uh, no more camembert for you until you tell me who she or he is.” Adrien snatched the food away.

“Aw, rude.” Plagg whined.

“You can’t just drop that and expect me not to ask.”

“Ugh, fine, Tikki and I kinda have a thing.”

“'Kinda have a thing'?”

“We’re counterparts okay? We do everything together.”

“Are you twins or…”

“You really want me to get all mushy?”

“You talk about how much you love cheese all the time.”

“Yeah, well cheese just fills my tummy it doesn’t get all lovey-dovey and insist on exchanging presents during your made up human holidays. Speaking of cheese,” he made a dive for his cheese. Adrien let him have it.

“Wow, you’ve really been married thousands of years? How old are you anyway?”

“I don’t know. When did you humans evolve?”

“Okay." Guess that answered that question. "Is Tikki one of the other kwami? She’s not Hawk Moth’s is she?”

“Nah, that’s Nooroo.” Gulp. “Tikki’s the ladybug.”

“What?”

“Where’s the rest of it?” He looked around for Adrien’s cheese stash. A stash that kept moving to new hiding places so he didn’t eat it all at once.

“You can have it when you tell me more about Ladybug. Do you know who she is?”

“Come on, I can’t tell you anything even if I wanted to. It’s against the rules and Tikki would revoke cuddles. I live for those cuddles right after I live for cheese, give it.”

“Good to know your sweetheart ranks below camembert.” Adrien aquested and opened the box for him.

“Hey, I’d die without food and then she’d bring me back just to kill me again.”

Adrien took a second to ponder the new side of his tiny friend. “Is there a reason you don’t want me to date Ladybug?”

“Hm? Nah, her chosen and my chosen end up getting married, like, half the time.”

“Then why do you think I should date Nathaniel?”

“Duh, ‘cause she doesn’t like you that way and he does. She told you flat out that isn’t going to happen, you’re just wasting time at this point.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Adrien sighed and lay back down. “Still a terrible day.”

“Tell me about it, I have to listen to your moping. Hey, now that you know about Tikki, mind if I sneak out for night cuddles?”

“Great, the tiny cat god has a better love life than I do.” Adrien planned to have a good long sulk before deciding what to do.

Miraculous break

“Nathaniel, wait up.” Adrien ran to catch the other boy. Nath was even more hunched in and quiet after being akumatized. Most of the classmates were used to Akumas by now and allowed him his embarrassment in peace. Adrien held out a wrapped box.

“What’s this?” Nathaniel didn’t take it right away.

“A birthday present. When you were akumatized you said it was your birthday, I asked Rose and Juleka too. It’s a couple days late but…”

“You didn’t have to.” Nathaniel finally took the present

“I wanted to.”

“Thank you.” He opened the box to find a set of drawing pencils.

“I wasn’t sure what to get you.”

“It’s perfect.”

They stood in awkward silence for a second. “I’m sorry if I did anything…weird, I don’t remember.”

“Don’t worry about it. You were nice to everyone but Chloe.” Adrien used his in-front-of-camera courage for the next bit, “and well, I was kind of wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out sometime?”

“I don’t want a pity date.”

“No! It’s not that, I just… you seem nice. I’m not seeing anyone. I mean, I noticed you before the whole akuma thing.”

“You noticed me?”

“Of course, your drawings are all over the art room.”

“Enough to want to…spend time together?”

“Well, why do you like me?” Why did Adrien ask that? He knew what the answer was going to be.

“You’re kind and patient. You posed for the art students even though it made you uncomfortable. Loyal. You haven’t given up on Chloe despite how bad she is.” Nathaniel didn’t say anything about his looks which was surprising.

“‘Put everyone else’s happiness first’?” At Nathaniel’s questioning look he added, “You said that as an akuma. For supposedly being ‘evilized’ you were really sweet.” Nathaniel looked ready to die of embarrassment so Adrien changed tactics. “I’d like to get to know you better at least. Be friends maybe?”

“…okay. I’d like that too.”

Miraculous break

“Something wrong, My Lady?”

“Oh, Chat!” she startled out of her melancholy. “No, well, nothing important.”

“Your troubles are important to me, Lady.” He sat beside her on the roof.

“It’s just a civilian thing.” She let out a long, frustrated breath.

“Okay?” he prompted to hear more.

“It’s kinda dumb, I’ve had a crush on this guy for months and now it turns out he’s gay.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t laugh!”

“I’m not.” His tone wasn’t wholly convincing.

“Ugh, it’s embarrassing! I should have seen it! He was never interested in the girls hanging off him. He announced to the whole class that he’s dating this guy.”

“Sorry, that must be rough.”

“Yeah, it stings a bit.” That made her think of something. “Oh no! Is this how you felt when I turned you down? Ack! Chat, I’m so sorry!”

Now he did laugh, “Unless you aren’t interested in me because I’m a boy, I think our situations are a little different.”

Ladybug groaned and hid her face. Chat patted her back. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Over you or my failed gay-dar?”

“Both. I don’t know if you can tell those things about people. I mean, I just recently realized I like boys and girls. And don’t worry about me, okay? Today I went on a second date with my boyfriend. Not that I don’t like you anymore or that I’m moving on from you too quickly…”

“No, that’s good. You deserve to have someone.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re bi? My other best friend came out to me last week. Plus the boy I like, liked, I’m going to end up being the only straight person I know.” She made sure he tone of voice was clearly joking.

“I think that’s called being a fruit fly.”

“Is not!”

Miraculous break

Marinette sourly watched the boy of her dreams hold hands with his boyfriend and felt a distinct lack of Valentine’s Day spirit. Chloe’s conniptions over Adrien and Nath was cold comfort. Marinette sighed and walked back towards the front of school from where she’d been hiding to spy on the happy couple. As she past the bushes she heard shouting.

“Just calm down, Kim.” Alix and Kim stood together.

“I don’t’ know what to do! Usually I ask for Max for help with this stuff but I can’t do that now.”

“Uh, is everything alright?” Marinette investigated.

“Kim wants to ask Max out for Valentines day and needs advice but didn’t know that I’m ace,” Alix explained.

“Should I ask Chloe?” Kim wondered out loud.

“No!”

“Chloe is the last person you should ask for advice, ever, about anything!” Marinette waved her hands at him.

“So, you’re volunteering then?” Alix smirked at her.

“Um…” Marinette didn’t consider herself qualified.

“He could ask Nathaniel, he snagged Adrien after all,” her smirk got bigger.

“I’ll help!” Marinette blurted out then realized Alix played her.

Assisting Kim managed to take her mind off things for a little bit. She helped him pick out a gift and decide to talk to Max after school. That done, Marinette met Alya who insisted she needed to de-Adrien her bedroom. The posters were going into storage, not the dumpster, in case Adrien and Nathaniel broke up and he was bi rather than gay. It was a long shot but she could hope. But until then she didn’t want to be that Chloe-like person who pinned after someone taken.

After that depressing chore, that her parents pointedly didn’t ask about, she and Alya went for a walk around town. Boy was she surprised to see Kim akumatized. Kim and Max were best friends how did he manage to turn Kim down so badly that Kim got akumatized?

Miraculous break

Marinette circled back to check on Kim after changing from Ladybug. She asked him how he was doing as Marinette. Like other akuma victims, he didn’t remember what happened. However, he was a bit more distressed than the previous people she’d seen and continued to look ready to cry over the fact Max rejected him.

“Hello Kim, you were akumatized.” The boy in question snuck up on them while she was trying to calm Kim down. “As a person must be in distress for such a transformation and given the unlikely hood of you encountering someone else in the brief time between my departure and your said akumitization, I can only infer that I misinterpreted your proposal. I had no intention to cause you distress with my previous words. I was under the erroneous assumption that you were heterosexual and even if you identified as some other sexuality you would have better options than someone of my stature and bearing.” Marinette felt her eyebrow ticking at this long-winded speech, but Kim didn’t seem to mind. “If you can forgive my previous self-deprecation I would very much like to initiate a romantic relationship with you.”

“Yes! Max you’re the best!” Kim practically tackled the smaller boy in a hug.

“Negative, that would be you.”

“Um, I’m just going to…yeah.” Marinette excused herself.

Miraculous perspective change

Adrien didn’t remember most of the fight with Dark Cupid. He really needed to work on dodging projectiles. If an akuma ever showed up with a gun they were hosed.

Ladybug apologized profusely about how ‘I know you have a boyfriend’ for something that happened while he was mind controlled. He didn’t remember it and she seemed mostly unconcerned so he didn’t worry about it.

On the plus side, Kim was defeated in plenty of time for Adrien to get dressed and meet Nathaniel for dinner. He’d had an art club project that afternoon so they had their date in the evening.

They met up at a quiet eatery where Adrien probably wouldn’t be recognized. Nathaniel noticed him hiding his face anyway.

“We already told the class, I don’t mind if people know we’re dating.”

“Even though I’m a celebrity? You sure your family doesn’t mind?”

Nathaniel poked at his food for a second. “I was akumatized all day on my birthday. They didn’t notice.”

“Oh.” Way to put foot in mouth, Adrien. “I don’t think my father would notice either. Unless I missed a modeling gig, that he would notice.”

"Do you like modeling?"

"I used to, now it's kinda..." Nathaniel didn't say anything about how he should try to quit like Nino would have. It was surprisingly refreshing to talk to someone who understood. "Hey! Would you like to come to some of my photoshoots? Nino comes when he can but a lot of the photogrophers make him leave. I bet we could get you in as an art consultant or something."

Notes:

My computer is a jerk about an e with dots so his name is spelled in an English fashion.

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