Chapter Text
Another day, another face plant in the mud. Not that Ralph wasn’t used to this - not that it hadn’t been his job for thirty years and everything - but he sure wished those Nicelanders had a bit more regard for his well-being rather than dumping him unceremoniously off the side of an eight-story building into a tiny mud puddle. Sure, he was nine feet tall and technically more of a program than a real human, but one of these days, all his bones might break.
The pain certainly simulated reality, he thought, putting a hand on his cracking neck. Seriously, couldn’t the creators of Fix-It Felix Jr. have had enough heart to at least make it a mattress? No? Fine.
If he really had to think about it, though, this was all mostly his fault. If he hadn’t made the game so popular after he returned from his journey, he might not have to deal with this much physical pain. A couple of times was bad enough. But ten hours almost nonstop? Please.
As if to remind him further of the reality of the situation, searing pain greeted him upon sitting up. Ohhh, my head. He rubbed his eyes, but all he could see were stars. And mind you, he was in an arcade game, so they appeared big and yellow before his eyes. Yep. This isn't good.
"Hiya, Ralph! Q*bert and I were just thinking about heading to Tapper's if you wanted to join," Felix began cheerfully before his eyes widened. "Oh!" He leaned down toward his friend. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, y'know, no worse than usual," Ralph joked, cracking his neck again. He'd rather not tell the handyman about his problems - the last thing he wanted was to cause him worry. Anyhow, it would probably go away in the morning.
"Right. Just," Felix scratched his head. "I see you getting thrown off every day and it looks really painful. Especially with the amount of times that's been happening lately, phew!" He wiped the sweat off his forehead. Then - "You know, you really are a hero."
Ralph's stomach clenched with warmth at that and he smiled, inwardly cursing how one small man could reduce him, a colossal giant, to a puddle similar to the one he sat in with just one charming remark.
"Eh, well, who else is gonna wreck the building for all the players?" He shrugged. "Anyway, I'm no hero without you. Well, I mean, I'm not really a hero, since I'm a bad guy and all. Of course, now I think about it, I wouldn't even be that if you weren't here. Or really much of anything, ha ha..." He trailed off from his awkward attempt at socializing when he noticed Felix looking at him like he was the most wonderful thing in the world. Which was confusing, considering he sounded like a bumbling idiot just now.
"Gosh, Ralph. You say the sweetest things," Felix sighed.
"I-I do?" That's when his stomach really started to go funny - and not just from butterflies, either.
The other nodded. "It's true. I never realized how kind you were until you rescued me from the Fungeon, sacrificed yourself for Vanellope, and helped all those homeless characters. You were there for me while I was sad about my divorce with Calhoun even though it simply wasn't in our codes to be married. And you know, even before all that, you've always treated the Nicelanders with respect even when you had plenty of reason to...well, smash them all into the ground," he laughed, walking closer.
"Er, Felix?" Ralph raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming down with something? Your face is kinda red."
"No, Ralph," he laughed harder. "Actually, that's just the honey glow in my cheeks."
He smiled in a way he hadn't before. Then, frowning in afterthought, "Speaking of which, you've got a little - "
Rather than finish his sentence, he simply reached out and began gently brushing some dried-up mud off of Ralph's cheek. As much as Ralph wanted to melt into the touch, something was stopping him. His face grew green.
"Get away from me."
Felix's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
"No, seriously, I - " But Ralph's sentence was cut short by the lurching of his stomach as he spilled its contents on the ground near Felix's shoes. Ralph looked down in shame. God, he just threw up in front of the guy he liked. Could things get any worse?
He thought he felt a small hand on his back, though he couldn't be sure given that migraines were known to cause such illusions. But then he felt it tracing along his spine, Felix's steady voice reassuring him that it was okay, he was there for him, and just let it all out. He drew in another breath and keeled forward again. Felix's tiny arms wrapped firmly around him as if to keep him from propelling into the mud again. He really appreciated that. Oh yeah, and when he smoothed his hair back from his face to keep it from getting any dirtier than it was - that too.
At last, he was able to breathe. His stomach kept throwing him forward even when it had been emptied, the taste in his mouth burning and rancid. Felix continued to rub his back, calming his feverish quivers.
"You alright, there, big guy?" he whispered, and Ralph nodded, grateful, for the sights and sounds around him were suddenly magnified by ten. He nodded towards the mess. "Let me clean that for you."
"Oh, Felix, you don't have to. I could get that - "
"Please. Allow me," he said, holding his hands up before kneeling down and cleaning it with a scrub brush, bucket of water, and nose clips in a matter of seconds. Once it was all gone, he stood and nodded in satisfaction. "There, now." He studied Ralph's face. "You haven't been getting much sleep, have you?"
“Have you?” Ralph demanded, though he knew it was in vain.
“A full eight hours every night,” said Felix. “It’s important to get your rest, you know!”
Ralph sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
“And to eat?” said Felix. Ralph shrugged.
“I dunno. There’s not much in the fridge. Just some aged cheese and a packet of nuts, I guess.”
Felix’s face fell at that. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Finally, he opened it again.
“Clearly, you’re more under the weather than I thought. As the leader of this game, I want you to rest until you’re better.”
“Aw c’mon, it’s just a tiny headache! I’ll be fine tomorrow. Lemme go back to work, please?”
“Wreck-It Ralph! You will do no such thing,” Felix said, voice laced with authority, though Ralph found it more adorable if anything. “You are pale as a white peach, sir! We have to lay you down immediately.”
Ralph gaped. “What, you mean, like, in your apartment?”
Felix nodded. “Come with me.” He wrapped an arm around Ralph’s waist as high as he could reach and guided him toward the building. Ralph ran a hand down his face. What were the other characters going to say? He just had to open up his big, fat mouth - they were gonna get unplugged for sure now thanks to him.
“Hey.” Felix tugged on his hand. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll fix you right up in no time.” Then he winked, and Sweet Mother Hubbard, what was up with the sudden heat wave blasting in Ralph’s face? Was he the only one?
They walked along the sidewalk toward the door, where Ralph left muddy footprints and Felix cleaned them along the way. Ralph smiled at that. Cute. They went through the door and into the lobby before taking a rather slow elevator up to the top. During which, Ralph and Felix found themselves pressed together from lack of space. Their faces grew warm.
Finally, they stepped out and saw the Nicelanders waiting to congratulate Felix for a job well done.
"Hello, everyone," Felix greeted with a polite smile as per usual. As though the person he currently had his arm around was no one out of the ordinary.
Ralph greeted all the gawking faces with a smile of his own and began silently scanning the crowd for those he knew: Don, Roy, Lucy, Norwood, Nell, Deanna, Mary, and -
Oh, no. Gene.
Already, he could feel the blood boiling within his body like a volcano, but he took a deep breath just before he could explode, looking down at Felix. He would not lose his temper in front of him, he resolved. Not again.
“I baked you a pie, Felix,” a voice piped up.
“Well, thank you, Mary!” He smiled, taking it from her.
Yes, thank you, Mary, Ralph agreed in his head. Good on her for breaking the ice.
Felix closed his eyes and took a whiff. “Gosh, it smells delicious.”
“Great job today, Felix,” said Don.
“Yes, great job,” said Lucy.
“Thank you. Thank you! Oh my land, you’re all too kind.”
Ralph chuckled and watched as Felix chatted with the Nicelanders, smiling and connecting with each of them. It seemed like this would be a fairly amicable evening. One person, however, did not agree.
“What’s he doing here?” Gene’s voice inevitably pierced through his ears and heart. Ralph looked down, beet-red. Who knew his own feet could be so interesting?
"Ralph is sick, Gene. He needs a place to stay," Felix said, voice even.
"Well, he's not staying anywhere near the pent house. His body odor will stink up the place for days." He smiled a cruel smile. "I'll bet it's all that bloated fat around his stomach that makes him so gassy. No wonder he hasn't got a girlfriend. What, does he snore, too?"
"That's enough." Felix frowned, puffing out his chest slightly. "You will treat him the same way you treat me. And if you don't - well, you can just say good bye to your job, you...you...!"
Ralph reached out and rubbed a thumb across the handyman's shoulder, preventing him from overstepping just in time. Felix was still angry, judging by the slight tremor in his shoulders, but he visibly sighed and they lowered from his ears. Gene, however, wasn't done.
"You can't do that! I'm the mayor!" he protested.
Felix smiled, but the manner in which he did was cold.
"Yes, but my father owns this apartment building. And I think we both know how rich he is."
Woah. Talk about total goose bumps forming down Ralph's arms right now. It was official - his new goal in life was to never ever tick Felix off. Because this was downright C-R-E-E-P-I-E...no, wait...
Before he could correct himself, Felix turned to the crowd.
"Do you understand? This goes for all of you. Ralph is my friend, and I don't want a single one of you sniping at him. He'll be staying with me tonight, and if you don't like it, then frankly, I don't give a boo - forgive my potty mouth," he added as a disclaimer, though his chin quivered with absolution. Ralph's heart pounded. He couldn't believe Felix was actually standing up for him. This would not have happened, say, seven weeks ago. Then again, Ralph didn't know he had a crush on him seven weeks ago, either.
"Come on, Ralph." Felix hooked his arm around his wrist. "Let's go inside and get you settled."
There was something borderline theatrical about the way Felix walked toward his apartment door in bold strides with a deadpanned face and loud voice, making this such a public event. Ralph knew Felix was probably trying to be serious, but even so, he couldn't stop himself from chuckling under his breath.
Gene cupped his hands around his mouth.
“Hey, you big oaf! Enjoy this while you can, because it’s the closest you’re ever gonna get to living here - "
“Good night,” Felix hissed, cutting him off. “I will speak no more on the matter. Thank you for the pie, Mary.” He smiled tiredly in her direction and she nodded, though with a bit of a worried face.
Felix closed the door behind them and took off his work gloves to hang them up, not even inviting them in for a party. So he was serious.
“This way, Ralph,” he whispered, guiding him by the small of his back towards the living room. Once they got there, Felix helped him lie down on the couch. When Ralph accidentally knocked his head against the arm, Felix gasped silently and placed a hand under his neck. “Easy, now. You okay?” Ralph nodded, though his vision was somewhat blurry.
Felix exhaled. “Good.”
He made sure Ralph’s head was settled before he let go, which, to Ralph, meant a blissful two minutes of Felix’s ungloved hand cradling his neck and even playing subconsciously with his hair a bit.
Once Ralph was settled, Felix seemed to remember something. He growled, digging his hands through his hair.
“Jiminy jaminy, I’ve never been so angry before. I’m shaking like a leaf! I feel like I could just...just...!”
“Break something?” Ralph mused. Felix looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights before his shoulders slumped.
“I’m sorry, Ralph. It’s just that you’re such a sweet, unassuming guy and I don’t understand why all the Nicelanders won’t stop treating you like dirt.”
“That’s not entirely true,” he pointed out. “They were nice to me for a little while after I stopped going Turbo.”
“For how long?” said Felix. And here, Ralph was forced to face the truth.
“Two weeks.”
Ralph noted with amazement the way Felix’s face shifted from calm to frustrated within a matter of seconds. Then, suddenly, red-hot furious as he clenched his fists and cried, “I...don’t...GET IT!” He ran around the apartment, yelling at the top of his lungs and tearing his beautiful hair out. He picked up his magic hammer and started smashing Mary’s pie with it, comically oblivious to the fact that it only grew bigger in size.
Ralph laughed through his pain, watching the whole thing. Man, the deja vu was real. Where was Vanellope when you needed her?
“Enjoying your temper tantrum there, Lixie?”
Felix stopped suddenly, looking at him, and Ralph had a feeling he just crossed a line. “Oh, wait. Rats. I didn’t - ”
“Ralph,” Felix breathed, walking towards him, “what did you just call me?”
“I, uh,” the giant stuttered in fear, “I said ‘Lixie’. You know, like the end of your name, but with an ‘ie’ in it...it was just meant to be a joke, I didn’t mean to!” he blurted out, holding up his hands and squeezing his eyes shut. When he didn’t hear the sound of fury being unleashed like he expected, he cautiously opened an eye.
With it, he saw Felix looking at him with a blank expression. This lasted only seconds before he reached out and held Ralph’s giant hand in his own small ones. He placed it on his chest - well, okay, front, considering how small he was.
“That’s the sweetest nickname anybody’s ever given me.” His voice was so heavy Ralph thought he might actually cry. He looked away, biting his lip. “Can - Can I call you ‘Ralphy’?”
Ralph’s face grew warm and he laughed. “Yeah, but only you. Anyone else who tries it gets thrown out the window.”
They both chuckled before it died away, and this time, the silence was not awkward. Ralph used it to study Felix’s eyes. He knew they were blue, but this up close? They were gemstones, soft and light with a hint of gold reflected off of them like a beach on a summer day. They seemed to dilate along with his heart, which beat rapidly beneath Ralph’s fingers.
“You should shower,” Felix said, finally. “It’ll make you feel better. I’ll heat up some cocoa on the stove for you.”
I already feel better, Ralph thought in his head, smiling. Felix knew how to treat him just right.
The handyman helped him up and made sure he found the bathroom before leaving. His jaw dropped right away. Aw, man, was that a Euro-style shower with glass doors? It looked like a whole ‘nother room! You could even sit down if you wanted.
Ralph stepped in, twisted the knob, and surveyed his options. Man, this shower had everything. There was a strawberry shampoo that looked particularly appetizing. There were also a few of those little conditioner bottles and salt scrubs that looked like candy macaroons. Ralph smiled - that must have been Vanellope’s wedding gift to Felix.
Come to think of it, he hadn’t had a shower since the wedding. And even then he had to make it quick since he was late. But here? He had all the time in the world.
There was something about the warm water that made his body relax. For the first time ever, he became acutely aware of just how smelly he was. He wrinkled his nose and gagged, bile crawling up his throat. If he ever got as rich as Felix, he decided, he would buy a fancy shower too, maybe with a more Zen aesthetic with a tiny Buddha statue and candles everywhere. He loved candles. Candles went on top of cake. Mmm, cake...
Anyway! He’d get himself a fancy strawberry shampoo too, and fancy conditioner and salt scrubs and bar soap and facial cleanser and lotion and oil. And he would shower every day!
He smiled at his dream and doused himself with shampoo and water, feeling the mud and germs leaving in fear already.
By the time he was done - he needed three towels to get fully dry - he surveyed himself in the mirror. His hair looked a lot softer than normal. Shiny, too. He felt the sides of his freshly-shaved face. Yep - smooth as a baby’s butt. He threw on a fresh white shirt and flannel pants he kept in his back pocket just in case he ever had sleepovers in some of the other worlds with his friends.
Now to do something about his formidable breath. Ralph took out some mint-flavored mouthwash from the island drawer and swished it around in his mouth, rinsing repeatedly until it was clean. That ought to go well with the hot cocoa.
When Ralph stepped out, he saw that Felix had dimmed down the lights, which he was grateful for. He also saw him humming to himself and taking the kettle off the stove, wearing pajamas of his own. Blue satin - could he get any cuter?
“Ah, good! Just in time,” said Felix upon seeing him. He poured some hot cocoa into two separate mugs and Ralph watched as the square steam clouds rose from it. He smiled. “You look better.”
“I am,” said Ralph. And truthfully, he did feel that way. Sure, his head still pounded on one side, but his cramps were considerably better. Plus, he didn’t feel like throwing up or fainting anymore.
“By the way, there was only a small sliver of soap left in the shower, so I had to open a new one from the closet.” He scratched his head. “I hope that’s okay.”
Felix’s face brightened. “Oh, yeah, my new rosemary soap! I’ve been meaning to open that. Mind if I get a whiff?”
“Sure,” said Ralph.
He expected Felix to stand nearby and maybe put his nose to the air to get a small sample. What he didn’t expect was for Felix to walk over and full-on embrace him, fingers gently grasping at his shirt fabric and the side of his face nuzzling into his stomach, breathing deeply.
“Mmm, who says you don’t smell nice?”
“Er, pretty much everybody. Especially Vanellope.” He laughed.
“Well, you should wear this more often. It suits you.” Felix’s voice was soothing against his stomach. Its combination of warm breath and steady buzzing made him weak in the knees. Not to mention it was a little ticklish. But he’d never tell Felix that. Otherwise, the handyman might just tickle him until dawn.
Finally, Felix let go, and man, if Ralph didn’t miss him already. But then he took his giant hand in his small one and led him towards the kitchen.
Ralph sat hunched over the table, head just barely touching the ceiling.
"I just finished chatting with Q*bert on the phone. He'd like to give you his regards," said Felix.
Ralph smiled. "D'aww, well that's nice of him."
“Cheers,” said Felix, holding out his hot cocoa mug.
“Cheers,” Ralph echoed, holding out his own. They clinked mugs and Felix held his up to his lips to drink from it. Ralph, on the other hand, was having a little trouble. It wasn’t that the mug was small so much as his hand would not stop shaking. Drops of cocoa spilled out on either side like a dog shaking off water. Felix noticed this and reached out, steadying Ralph’s hand with his own. It didn’t stop it entirely since his hand was rather small, but it steadied the mug somewhat. Felix looked up in inquiry and Ralph nodded, indicating he was ready. Felix leaned forward in his chair, nearly standing so he could lift the mug to Ralph’s lips. He took a sip, closing his eyes.
Funny thing about hot cocoa - it was a form of chocolate, obviously, and though one might think Ralph was not a fan of chocolate given his past preferences, he’d developed a bit of a taste for it when he fell in the chocolate lake after saving Sugar Rush and indulged himself in some chocolate cake at Felix’s wedding. Just as long as it wasn’t too sweet, was his rule. He liked the bitter, dark kinds - they were more sophisticated on the tongue than, say, a too-sweet morsel that would be better off if it were advertised as a shovelful of sugar.
That being said - Felix’s hot cocoa was perfect. It got that blend of bitter and sweet just right with a little bit of spice (was that cinnamon?) and of course, to top it all off, marshmallows. But not just any marshmallows, oh, no. These had been microwaved, giving them that perfect golden-brown glow. If Ralph was already in paradise from that first taste, then this was nothing compared to what he would feel once he finished it.
“Here’s something for your head, too.” Felix held out some aspirin. Ralph nodded. He took it from him and swallowed, using the cocoa to wash it down. Afterwards, he willed himself to reach across the table and hold Felix’s hand.
“Thank you.” He hoped it came out as heartfelt as he meant.
“Don’t mention it,” said Felix. Ralph couldn’t help but notice how red his face was. He decided to try something. He rubbed his thumb across the back of Felix’s hand. Sure enough, his face got redder. Ralph chuckled to himself. So he was bashful, huh? Hmm, he wondered how red he could make him.
He lifted Felix’s hand and brought it towards himself, a mischievous grin on his face. Then, just before he could touch it to his lips, he looked up, making eye contact. Felix’s whole face and neck were red, he was so nervous. Enjoying this way more than he ought to, Ralph kept holding his hand near his lips, making sure to breathe gently on it. With his other hand, he began walking two fingers down Felix’s arm. Wow, his entire body was shivering, this was great! He looked at the poor, tomato-colored man in front of him and decided he’d held him in suspense long enough. He was just about to lower his head when Felix chickened out.
“Okay! We’d better get you to bed early to make sure you’re all rested up for the morning,” he said a little too loudly, clapping his hands together. “Alright, up we go.”
He laughed, wrapping his arm around Ralph and guiding him towards the living room again. Not gonna lie, Ralph’s feelings were a little hurt. Though it was probably on him for teasing him like that. Anyway, he could have read it all wrong. There’s no way Felix would ever like him like that, right? Come on, he was a bad guy. Bad guys didn’t have happy endings – just sad, or a little below average.
Ralph lie back down on the couch, now equipped with a pillow and blanket, and just tried to relax. Felix pulled up a chair and sat next to him, fluffing his pillow.
“Is that comfortable?”
“Yep,” said Ralph.
“Good.” Something in the kitchen caught the corner of Felix’s eye just then and he giggled, shaking his head. “Oh my Land, what am I going to do with that pie? It’s the size of a table.”
Ralph shrugged. “I’ll eat it.”
“I’ll bet you’ve never seen food that big before,” said Felix, smiling.
“Well,” Ralph scratched his head. “I have actually eaten a few giant cherries before. I got ‘em from Pac-Man’s place.”
Felix frowned. “I don’t remember you journeying there.”
“Yeah, no, that was before I left,” Ralph clarified. “I went for one of those Bad-Anon meetings, when I was depressed about - ah, you know.”
“Ralphy.” There was that heavy voice again. “I am so sorry.”
Ralph furrowed his eyebrows. “No, no! Hey, Felix, come on, it wasn’t your fault.”
Even so, he heard him sniffling, pulling down his cap to hide his eyes. Each choking sob that escaped his throat tore Ralph’s heart in two. Desperate, he placed two gentle fingers beneath Felix’s jaw and rubbed his cheek with his thumb. Please don’t push it away.
“Shhh, come here. Hey, come on, look at me. Lixie.”
His nickname for him worked like a charm, and he was both glad and heartbroken to see his friend’s face as it was insanely beautiful but so very, very sad. Ralph sighed, taking in the sight of his large blue eyes flooded with tears, his red nose and cheeks; this was all his fault.
“It was not you, okay? It was me. My problem. It was just a phase I was going through when I wanted more out of life. Now, I know I have everything I need - just you and Vanellope and Calhoun and Q*bert and yeah, even the Nicelanders.”
He laughed. Then, shoulders slumping, “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you I had a headache. I didn’t want to bother you about it or make you sad. I hate seeing you sad, Lixie.”
As if to emphasize how much it hurt him, he pouted his own lower lip and looked at Felix, batting his eyelashes. Felix laughed and hiccuped. He reached up with a shaking hand and placed it on top of the one Ralph was using to dry his tears.
“Ralph, you’re not a bother.”
He adopted a mockingly-stern tone. “And don’t you ever think of yourself as a bother, mister. Because I like caring for you. I love it, actually. And you know what?” He stood up straight in an act of bravery. “I love you.”
All the breath in the world left Ralph’s lungs at that, knocking the wind out of him. Now there was something he didn’t expect in his lifetime.
“A-As friends?” he stammered, just in case it was much too good to be true (which it was!).
Felix shook his head. “Oh, dear. I should just go. Good night, Ralph.”
“Wait.” Ralph reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back. Felix sighed sadly and leaned over, smoothing some of Ralph’s hair back from his face.
“What is it?”
Ralph parted his lips and looked up, speechless. Then he frowned in determination and placed both hands on either side of his face, removing his cap. He closed his eyes and leaned in.
“I love you too,” he breathed before their lips met for the first time. Right away, they relished the feeling of each other’s mouths, Felix’s thin one against Ralph’s plump one, tasting of mint, cinnamon, and cocoa (and some salt from the crying). Ralph wrapped one hand around Felix’s back, which slowly crawled up to his hair. Felix responded by framing Ralph’s face in his hands, leaning over him so they could press their chests together.
Now, both of them were too busy to notice, but as they were kissing, golden electricity shot through their veins like a microchip circuit. This was because they were fulfilling what had been a long-forgotten part of the codes. See, what most arcade programs did not know was that migraines are not always caused by under sleep, overwork, and poor eating habits - there is a special kind that characters get when they are not fulfilling their life’s purpose. Ralph would be riddled with all kinds of headaches before he went on his journey. It was part of what made him so angry. In fact, one of the reasons he held Vanellope so near to his heart was that she eased some of the tensions in his head. One might think her annoying voice would increase it tenfold, but in fact it was her saccharine core and unconditional name-calling that touched him. While thinking of her could calm his troubled mind on even the worst days, however, there was still the matter of permanently fending it off that needed to be considered. And how would one go about doing that, one might ask? How to change the doomed fate of one code among a million others to a destiny far more satisfying? Easy - a simple kiss. Cliché, perhaps, but isn’t true love the answer to everything?
Not every character knew this. Without knowledge of their pain, some were driven to madness even to the point of leaving their games, much like that race car driver had just under thirty years ago. Of course, it goes without saying that characters who have never experienced this problem are often the most unaware. Or are they?
Felix smiled against Ralph’s lips, wrapping his arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. Oh, yes - he knew.
***
Sunlight flooded Ralph’s eyes. He groaned, sitting up, momentarily confused as to why his head and back weren’t killing him. Then he remembered- he’d slept on a soft velvet couch instead of a pile of bricks. Not to mention he’d been taken good care of by the man he loved.
As if on cue, he heard Felix’s footsteps emerging from the kitchen.
“Ralphy? You feeling better?”
He nodded. “Yeah, actually. Why?”
Felix walked up to him slowly with a serious expression. Then, quickening his pace, “So I can do this.”
With that, he threw himself upon Ralph’s chest and wrapped his arms around his neck, peppering his face with hot, sloppy kisses. Ralph leaned back and sighed, allowing himself to be showered with love. What a great way to wake up.
Felix pulled back, lifting his nose to the air for a minute, then smiled.
“Mmm,” he breathed, diving in one last time for a long, sensual kiss. “Blueberry.”
“Yeah, I helped myself to some of your pie after you went to bed.” Ralph placed a hand on his back.
Felix’s brow furrowed. “But weren’t you tired? It was so late.”
He shrugged, smiling. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Oh. Why not?” Felix patted his cheek, biting his lip in worry.
Ralph rested his arms behind his head so he could sit up. “I was too busy thinking about you.”
And just like that, Felix was laughing, face glowing red. Ralph cocked an eyebrow, grinning.
“What? Is that so hard to believe? Huh, Lixie?” He traced his pointer finger along Felix’s jawline, tickling him. Felix yelped, laughing harder and pressing his chin to his neck. He threw his hands up in the air in mock-exasperation.
“Oh, just come here, you big, adorable cornball.” He leaned down and captured his lips in his, the both of them chuckling.
***
That day, Ralph went back to work. It was especially hard for the two main characters to act out their respective parts. Ralph threw less bricks than normal and might even have giggled once, and Felix dodged them all anyway, winking and blowing kisses at him. So unprofessional.
And the best part? He got thrown off the building more than fifty times that day and his head didn’t ache once. Guess all that blueberry pie for breakfast really did pay off.
That evening, when all the characters were gathered on the roof top and getting ready to throw Ralph for the last time, Felix broke character and ran up to him, hopping into his arms for a hug. They melted into each other, quite ignorant of the surprised gasps and whispers. Whatever problem the Nicelanders had with Ralph didn't matter now that the person in his arms loved him back.
“You did wonderful today.”
“Aw, thank you, you too.” Ralph patted his back, laughing, then turned his head. “What do you say we freak Gene out?” he whispered in his ear. Felix purred at the deliciousness - no way he could refuse this revenge. They leaned in, both heartily aware of the mayor’s face looking like an exaggerated anime character’s, big pink mouth and all.
One of the kids playing the game didn’t know what to make of the red pixelated hearts on the screen, never mind the fact that Felix’s lives kept going up by five.
“Mr. Litwak,” he said, “are they supposed to be kissing?”
Mr. Litwak squinted at the screen to see what he was talking about, then brushed it off. “Eh, it’ll sort itself out in a day or two.”