Chapter Text
There's something special about the way the rough texture of the old sketching book feels against the pad of his fingers; beyond the talent hidden behind every page, there's a raw emotion embroidered on each drawing that pricks at his heart, twisting it in an old, yet painfully familiar way that makes his breath waver every time he opens his mouth to take deep inhales of air, struggling to keep the urgent need to cry away. He's a prince. Princes are not supposed to cry.
Memories he thought had faded a long time ago, come back crashing against his chest like heavy tidal waves on a storm, making it hard for him to breathe. He never thought he would find himself in this same situation again, his heart wasn't ready to repeat the same cycle all over and yet, he can't help but think that this is nothing but fate's work, of strong strings holding them back together, stretching in different directions to keep them apart but never enough so they would fade from each other's paths.
Call it fate, call it however you want, Chanyeol is a strong believer that when two souls are meant to be together, they will always find a way back to one another, regardless of how much time passes. Even when the other soul fervently refuses to acknowledge it. Even when that same soul is the one who keeps running away.
But fate this time has something different prepared for them, the prince knows it, feels it and he's ready to embrace whatever comes at them, even if he's the only one fighting. Chanyeol is determined to patch back what was broken years ago. To mend the other half of his own soul.
The tranquility of the room is abruptly disrupted by the thick wooden doors opening wide. The prince's personal maid walks in with a full entourage of other maids following close behind; they stand in a well formed row near the door, heads low and hands gracefully put together over their stomachs as they wait for their prince's permission to speak.
Chanyeol stares for a couple of seconds, observing the nervousness displayed by some of the girls, they fidget with the fabric of their uniforms and chew on their lower lips insistently to the point of making Chanyeol think they're going to start bleeding soon. They must be new, the prince think as he stands up, fixes the jacket of his light gray suit and clears his throat.
"Yes?" His deep voice rumbles across the large study room. A few of the maids visibly startle.
"Your Highness." His maid speaks, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but advisor Kim sent me. The prince has arrived." She announces calmly, voice steady and loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Chanyeol frowns, feeling how the rate of his heart begins to speed inside his chest. "Why didn't advisor Kim come himself?" He doesn't mean to sound harsh, but he does. He had left very clear to all the members of the Council how important this is. This was not a maid's job.
The woman flinches a little, but she keeps her posture, trying not to stutter as she speaks again. "He and the rest of the Council are dealing with some... issues, Your Highness. Your presence has been immediately required."
"What kind of issues?" Chanyeol asks while he makes his way around the desk to stand closer to the maids, looking down at the tiny middle aged woman.
"The prince has locked himself in the throne room." She replies.
The prince's attempts to hide his shock fail. His eyes widen and his mouth opens in silent surprise. He doesn't say another word as he rushes out of the study room, across the endless hallways of the east wing of the palace to the main area where the throne room is. He ignores the greetings and bows from people as he passes by, his mind occupied by more important matters.
The atmosphere is visibly tense by the time he arrives. Advisor Kim fidgets around whilst the members of the Council look at each other nervously, uneasiness plastered on their faces.
"How did this happen?" Chanyeol demands to know.
"Your Highness." A collective greeting and bow welcomes him.
"How did you let this happen?" Chanyeol speaks this time directly to his advisor. He doesn't have the time for formalities.
"My apologies, Your Highness." The advisor bows again. "We—"
"Junmyeon." Chanyeol growls, starting to feel how the frustration builds up inside.
"I— I didn't see that coming." Advisor Kim confesses with a small sigh. "He told us to head out first and then... he was closing the door. The guards already tried to open it, Your Highness, but they did not succeed."
Chanyeol lets out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose trying to keep his cool. He's a prince. Princes are not supposed to lose their temper. "The master key. Did you call the housekeeper yet?"
"Yes, my prince. We believe the prince truncated the door from inside."
"The west side entrance?" Chanyeol asks, hopeful.
"Locked as well, Your Highness."
Chanyeol ponders on his options. He frowns deep in thought, trying to find a quick solution to this problem that it shouldn't even be a problem at all in the first place.
When his father announced to him two months ago that prince Baekhyun had finally returned to his home in Gyeonggi-do, his heart had soared in indescribable happiness; however, it didn't last much when the king broke the news to him that Baekhyun had been forced to do so. All of Chanyeol's hopes wavered upon remembering why he and Baekhyun had separated in the first place.
Chanyeol remembers very clearly the first time their parents officially told them they were destined to marry each other, even when they already knew it was going to happen, the excitement had been hard to hide. He was eleven and Baekhyun was ten, ages in which they were deemed to understand what that meant and the responsibilities that the marriage between two kingdoms conveyed. He remembers the brightness in Baekhyun's eyes, the pure happiness of a child at knowing he was going to spend the rest of his life with his partner in crime, his best friend. Chanyeol never imagined things were going to change so drastically so quickly when one hot summer day, after sending notice to Baekhyun's home that their wedding was to be held once the younger prince turned eighteen, he disappeared without leaving any trace behind but a note with a single line, no explanations, no answers to all the questions that began to surge in Chanyeol's head.
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
That was all but it was enough to break Chanyeol's heart into million pieces. From that day, nine years had passed and it hadn't been a moment in which he wished things would be different. Maybe he had been a fool all this time for still hoping. Baekhyun, the little prince he basically grew up to know —or at least he thought he did— it probably isn't there anymore.
The prince suppresses a smile when he remembers all the things they did together when they were kids, all their antics around the palace: upsetting servants, making them lose their minds by hiding from them when they were supposed to be taken to their summer lessons; Chanyeol loved it, it was the only time Baekhyun could come and spend three months with him; sneaking in the kitchens to steal desserts and when they were caught, they would still get out of there with a small scolding from the chefs and a treat on each hand; exploring the palace and founding new passages to— the train of thoughts stop abruptly, it then clicks in his head as he recalls every secret passageway they learnt by heart.
"Stay here." Chanyeol commands to the men there.
Advisor Kim attempts to protest, but is left with his mouth open when the prince dashes out without another word. They look at each other confusedly, but they don’t dare to make a move.
Chanyeol rounds the walls of the throne room, from south to west, fingers brushing across the wooden panels as his brain runs a mile per second, counting the golden ridges decorating the white walls. He knows he's close, if his memory isn't failing him, he should be.
6100, 6101, 6102, 6103... 6104! Exactly where the south wing ends and the west beings, he stops and looks at the white panel in hope, biting his lower lip and pressing his hands against the cool wood; Chanyeol pushes in and the wall gives up with the low sound of a gush of air. The short corridor it's dark and cold, but it doesn't seem as scary as it did all those years back. Chanyeol perfectly remembers how he always pretended to be brave for Baekhyun, even though he hated the darkness and the musky smell.
The light cracking from under the other end of the corridor comes sooner than he expected. Chanyeol takes a deep breath before he pushes that one panel as well and the throne room is being displayed on all its golden, browns and whites magnificence. The large paintings of every generation of his family members, ancestors and important uncles he never met, hanging from the walls illuminated by the four big chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Chanyeol shivers as soon as he steps out of the passage and into the room, not sure if it's because it's colder in there or because he's about to meet Baekhyun again after nine years of not knowing anything about him.
He sucks in a breath when he catches sight of the figure standing all the way across the room, arms folded at his back and head tilted up, looking at one of Chanyeol's favorite paintings: his mother.
"You forgot to block this one." Prince Chanyeol says and his voice echoes through the whole room, so loud that it makes himself flinch.
"I didn't." Baekhyun's much softer voice says. He keeps his posture, not moving an inch. "I left it open for you, hoping you would remember." He sounds so solemn, so calm that it makes Chanyeol wonder what is this all about.
Chanyeol makes his way towards the younger prince, expensive leather shoes thudding on the marbled ivory floor. He only stops next to him, imitating his pose and also looking up to admire his mother's beauty.
"I'm really sorry about what happened to your mother." Baekhyun mumbles now, eyes raking from the top of the painting to the bottom.
"Thank you. It was a long time ago, though." Chanyeol replies.
"She's always been beautiful." Baekhyun adds. Chanyeol hums in agreement, smiling discreetly.
"It's been nine years." Chanyeol says, to change the subject, mostly because he already feels like crying and because he really needs to know what is going on.
"And eight days." Baekhyun answers. Chanyeol can hear the smirk on his voice. "I had half a mind to come back when the news came out. I thought you would need someone who would understand you to be there for you. But in the end I couldn't."
"Why not?" Chanyeol asks, cursing under his breath when his voice wavers a little.
"I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready."
"And yet, you're here."
"Against my will." Baekhyun replies calmly. Chanyeol feels the coldness of his words, cutting into his skin like frozen blades.
"We have a duty to fulfill." Chanyeol says, using the same cold tone. They still haven't look at each other. “We’ve always had.”
"Exactly, it’s just that, a duty. We do not love each other, Chanyeol."
The older prince swallows. You're wrong. You're so wrong.
"I couldn't marry my best friend back then. I can't marry a man that grew up to be a stranger now." Baekhyun continues, ripping through every fiber of Chanyeol’s heart.
Chanyeol sighs. "We were born into a different world, Baekhyun. We are not normal people, we are royalty; we're not free to choose what we want and when we want it. Our mere name holds so many meanings, so many responsibilities. In our hands lay the future of two nations. This is our future."
"You were always so sure of yourself. I see that hasn’t changed." Baekhyun lets out a dry laugh. "That's the difference between you and me, I guess. You want this and I… I’m not sure if I do."
"I always thought you and I were the same. You used to think that marrying me would make you the happiest person in the world."
"We were kids." Baekhyun mumbles bitterly.
"I know and I also know now that I was wrong. I am sure of myself, of what I want to do with my life. I want to rule, I want to make my father and my nation proud and I want―" You. Chanyeol shakes his head and bites his tongue to keep the words inside.
"I admire you, Chanyeol. I really do." Baekhyun speaks, slowly turning around to face him. Chanyeol breath hitches. Baekhyun's eyes are as beautiful as he remembers, the only difference is that now, they're voided of the brightness Chanyeol was so used to see in them. They lack life and energy. They lack Baekhyun's essence. "You will make a great king someday. A sacrifice like this…"
"I don't see it as a sacrifice."
"I do." Baekhyun breaths out, his voice filled with sorrow and regrets.
Chanyeol feels his chest tightening. He expected many things from this reunion, but never this. Never this overwhelming sadness.
"Baekhyun." Chanyeol mumbles and without thinking, he brings his hand up to place it over the younger prince's cheek. Baekhyun flinches, but he doesn't pull away; the touch feels so familiar and oddly comforting. "There's nothing I want more than your happiness. If I could, I would let you go right now. I would let you be free... but you know I can't. Call me selfish." But I want you here for myself.
Baekhyun curls up a lopsided smile and shakes his head. "I understand. I knew from the moment I stepped inside this palace that there was no way out anymore."
Chanyeol returns a similar smile. He moves his hand up and brushes a few strands of hair out of Baekhyun's eyes. "The black looks good on you." He mumbles.
Baekhyun chuckles. "Thank you."
The older prince finally removes his hand and takes a step back, leaving Baekhyun craving to feel the warmth of his skin against his own again. He has to hold back the urge to reach for Chanyeol; he can't let his own feelings take the best of him, not now when he's most vulnerable.
The sound of Chanyeol walking away echoes in his ears. Baekhyun sees him stopping in front of the swaying wooden panel and turning around to see him again.
"Welcome back, Baek." He says with a small smile on his lips before he disappears behind the improvised door.