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Louis kind of wished Harry had asked him to drive, at least part of the way. Stuck in the passenger seat, all he could do was think about every single way this whole thing could go to shit. But maybe… Louis sighed and pulled out his phone. Maybe this could work out. Maybe he could show Harry what life could be like with Louis as his boyfriend. He set to work making a playlist, adding every song that made him think of forever and love and Harry.
If he just acted like this was no big deal, like it was all pretend, he figured he could do it. Harry would never know the truth unless Louis told him. Or his sisters. Or his friends. Fuck.
He plugged his phone into the stereo and flipped it around to show Harry. “Made a playlist. It’s like… If you were really my boyfriend and I made you a mixtape, this would be it.” Louis pressed shuffle and tried not to cringe when it started and the first song was Wilco’s “I’m the Man Who Loves You.”
God. How fucking embarrassing. What the hell was he thinking. He needed to turn it off before it got worse.
The music stopped and Louis whipped his head around to see Harry pulling his hand back after turning it off. He frowned and crossed his arms, letting his head rest against the back of the seat while he stared out of the window. He’d wanted to turn it off, but Harry turning it off wasn’t the same thing. If Harry’d figured things out already…
“Lou? Umm… What do you think… Shit. Okay. How are we supposed to fake being in a relationship? What exactly are we supposed to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Louis shifted in his seat, pulled his knee up, and turned to face Harry. He had no idea. Fuck. He really should’ve thought this through. He tapped his fingers on the center console and hummed. “I guess I didn’t really think about it.”
“I mean, what is your family going to expect?”
Louis chewed on his lip for a second. His family was going to kill him. Like, individually, each of his siblings, his mom, and even his stepdad Dan, were going to take turns murdering him. “Well, like… Honestly, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever done this before. Lottie brought her boyfriend last year and we all, you know, picked on him a bit. Teased him to see how he handled it. They’ve done that with you already. They all know you. So… I don’t know.”
Louis watched as Harry squeezed the steering wheel, took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, puffing out his cheeks. He was clearly nervous and Louis felt immensely guilty for dragging him into this, but he needed Harry’s experience if they were going to pull this off.
“You’d know more about what to do that I would. Haven’t you ‘met the family’ before? What was it like?”
“Yeah, well, before I, um, had to be really aware of how… umm… physically affectionate I was? And, like… pull back a bit. Reel it in.”
Well, that was the opposite of what Louis wanted. If they were doing this, he wanted the opportunity to touch Harry as often as he could. But maybe… Shit, what if Harry meant like… “What, like, you’d have to stop yourself from dry humping next to the egg nog?”
“Jesus, Louis, no. I just… You know how touchy-feely I can be.”
“Oh, like cuddles and hugs and stuff?”
“Yeah, like that.”
Louis’ insides were twisting and turning nonstop. He felt a little bit ill and he was pretty sure he wasn’t getting car sick. The prospect of spending the weekend in almost constant physical contact with Harry was… a lot. And he wanted it so badly, but at the same time, he was so nervous. He knew that he was already probably overly affectionate with Harry, but it was something that he’d never been able to help, and Harry had never discouraged it. It was like a magnetic pull and he couldn’t be bothered to try to fight it. His body craved Harry’s warmth, sought it out without him really being aware that it was happening. The worst was when he was drunk or hungover because it stripped away that extra layer of self-preservation that he tried to keep wrapped around himself at all times.
He hummed and turned to look out his window for a moment, trying to clear his head. But he couldn't shake the thought that this could be his chance. He tried to keep the hope out of his voice and said, “Well, I mean, I think that would probably go over well with my family. We should do that stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“What you said. Cuddles and hugs and stuff.”
“That’s the sort of thing that I tried to avoid when I met my exes’ families.”
Shit. He was fucking it up already. Except… “Yeah, but we’re already close. My family’s seen the way we are together at home, so we should… I don’t know… Turn it up a notch.” Louis squeezed his eyes shut and hoped Harry wouldn’t question it.
“I don’t even know what that means, Lou.”
“Just follow my lead, Harold. It’ll be fine.”
“Right. Okay.” Harry nodded and Louis settled back against the seat, going over different possible scenarios in his head and trying to figure out how the hell he was going to survive the next few days.