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War isn’t something anyone should live through but unfortunately, for the citizens of the crown capital and for the poor refugees caught in between, war was their reality. People deal with their grief and their fear in different ways, some react violently, others become isolated. For the crowned Prince, his thoughts not only lingered on the war effort but on the wavering health of his father. And his reaction? Well, the Prince wasn't taking it too well.
‘The King would be lucky to live long enough to see the war end.’ He had heard a citizen murmur under their breath. ‘It’s not too long now I think.’
They were just words.
Just words from fools who don’t know.
Fools who don’t know.
To Noctis, no matter how many times he convinced himself that he knew better, that he knew his father was stronger than he let on, there was this feeling of doubt and fear that began to stew inside of him. 'What if they're right?' It made him feel uneasy at first but as he began to suppress his emotions, he felt just how choking and debilitating this new found pain could really be. He found himself feeling more tired than usual, more out of breath, more out of focus. He shrugged it off as an ‘off day’ but how many times could he use that excuse? Especially when the off days were becoming more and more frequent?
“You're not trying. C’mon Noct. You can do better then this.” Came Gladio’s gruff voice over and over again like a record stuck on repeat.
Even if Noctis tried his hardest to focus on the the commands of his shield, he couldn’t help but let the words fade into mere background noise against the loud thrum of his intrusive thoughts.
The King wont make it to see the end of this goddamn war.
Noctis will be King soon, especially with the condition King Regis is in.
The thoughts felt like poison in his mind but no matter what, he couldn’t shake them off. He couldn’t force himself to focus on the training at hand, which lead to Noct kissing the ground over and over, adding bruises and scrapes over more bruises and scrapes. The scariest part for Noct is that he couldn’t even feel the hurt from the wooden training sword against flesh, he couldn’t even tell if Gladiolus had struck him, his thoughts were stuck. He was stuck.
Noct.
Noctis.
“Yo!” Gladiolus roared in annoyance, snapping the Prince out of his waking nightmare. “You can’t just ignore your training. It doesn’t get easier but it certainly gets better. Practice makes progress. Now let’s repeat the drills for—“
“I don’t care.”
The Prince’s response was laced with ice, dripping with venom, something inside of him snapped when he heard those words come out of his shield’s mouth. It doesn’t get easier but it certainly gets better.
“Noctis—“
“Enough.” Came another sharp response. “I’m calling it a day.”
The Prince just wanted to be alone, he wanted time to just think without people putting thoughts and commands in his head. He just wanted to exist quietly and peacefully but his shield wasn’t going to let him give up so easily.
“No you’re not. We’re finished when I say we’re finished. You can’t just slack off and expect me to give in.”
Gladiolus’ response had not only caught Noctis off-guard but it also fed into the germinating feeling of doubt and anxiety that burned in Noctis’ throat.
“Just cut it out. I said I’m done so I’m done.”
This response didn’t sit well with Gladiolus at all. The shield’s brows knitted tightly in annoyance as he trudged over to the Prince, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt. He had had it with Noctis’ shitty attitude the last week, the Prince was skating on thin ice with the shield and this exchange was the crack that caused the ice to break.
“Cut the crap Noctis. You skip school today and expect me to just let you skip training as well? When are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself? Huh? When are you going to stop being irresponsible and act like a real Prince?”
A heavy silence fell between the two. Noctis refused to look at Gladiolus, despite the fact the shield’s burning fixated gaze locked onto the other, waiting for a response, waiting for something that could answer his question: Why? Why are you acting like this?
It felt like hours had passed when Noct finally forced himself out of Gladio’s grip, eyes downcast at the ground. For a moment Gladiolus thought Noctis was finally going to try and justify his behaviour, but he didn’t. Noctis instead silently trudged out of the Amicita backyard and disappeared into his car, driving off without a moment’s hesitation.
****
“I don’t think you understand, Gladdy… I mean like you really don’t.” Iris sighed thoughtfully as she gazed over at her brother, watching him take his frustrations out on a punching bag.
“What am I not getting then, huh?” The shield responded with mild annoyance. Gladiolus didn’t want to think that he could possibly overlook something that was affecting Noctis, after all, it is his sworn duty to care for the Prince from physical harm and emotional harm.
“I mean.. have you looked at the news recently?” Iris hummed as she scrolled through her phone, fingers tapping quickly at the screen as she pulled up an article questioning the King’s health. “Look!”
Gladiolus barely had time to react as Iris thrusted her phone into his face. With a huff, he grabbed the phone and peered down at the brightly lit screen. Just one look at the headline was enough to make Gladiolus irritated. ‘Will Noctis be King in a few years time? Here’s a list of reasons why he just might!’
“It’s.. y’know… pretty hard to ignore that kinda stuff and get over it when it’s… well…” Iris took the phone from her brother, “..everywhere.”
“Yeah..” Gladiolus sighed in defeat as he finally understood the reason behind the Prince’s shitty attitude. How could I have missed that? How? How? The question made Gladio’s stomach drop with a heavy guilt. He had failed Noctis and had failed his promise to shield the King from harm, and if anything, Gladiolus was the one adding Noctis’ pain.
I should have known. Why didn’t I know?
Stupid. You’re stupid.
He needs me. Noctis needs me.
I need to be with him right now.
As if reading her brother’s thoughts, Iris offered Gladiolus a comforting hug and a reassuring smile, “You can always just… talk to him, y’know? Noct likes to act like he’s got everything under control like his emotions.. I mean well, all boys are like that but still! Noct is no exception!”
There was something about Iris’ bold confidence and burst of positivity that made Gladiolus’ guilt disappear as fast as it had settled.
“And because I know that you totally like-like him—“
“I don’t—“
“Tut!” She pressed a forceful finger to Gladio’s lips with a stern look settling on her face. She was not going to let Gladiolus tell her otherwise. “Anyhow…” She began again slowly in an almost patronising tone, “..you should apologise and you should let him know that he’s always got you.. and me! Mostly me but hey!” She giggled, her expression softening, “You should go.”
****
Noct sat alone in his apartment, forcing his focus onto his video game to keep his mind from wandering. The apartment was completely dark, except for the television screen that illuminated the living room and Noctis’ figure. Just as Noctis was about to deal the killing blow on his opponent, he heard three sharp knocks banging against his front door. With a heavy sigh, Noct paused the video game, flicked the hallway light on, and peered through the peephole. When he realised who it was, Noct pinched the bridge of his nose “What do you want?”
“To talk. Will you let me in?”
Without hesitation or a second thought, Noctis unlocked the front door and was surprised to find that his shield had brought along Noct’s favourite takeaway.
“Look..” Gladio began with a sigh, “..I know shit’s been.. weird lately with all the talk of—“
“The war.” Noct interrupted bluntly.
“Yeah and other…. stuff.” Gladio added quietly, not wanting to bring up the real reason Noct has been acting up. “..but anyway I just wanted to..” He paused, taking a sharp breath as his gentle and apologetic gaze settled on the Prince before him. “..say sorry. I’m sorry Noctis.”
The Prince didn’t respond but instead offered a crooked smile and met the other’s gaze with a soft, questioning glare, “Why are you apologising?”
“Because about before.. I stepped out of line..” The shield admitted with a heavy, guilt filled sigh, “And I hurt you..” He paused again, his grip tightening the takeaway in his hands.
Say you it you idiot.
Just say it.
Say it.
“ ..And I don’t want to cause you anymore hurt than you’re going through right now. As your shield it’s my duty to protect you from harm—“
But before Gladiolus could finish his sentence, the Prince had wrapped his arms around his body with a sense of urgency and need which screamed: Don’t let me go.
I wont let you go.
Gladiolus returned the embrace and cradled Noctis in his arms, resting his head protectively on top of the other’s as his spare hand gently smoothed over the Prince’s back. They stood there in the doorway, wrapped in one another for only the Astrals know how long. Before too long, the Prince’s hands gently cupped the shield’s cheeks, pulling him down for a kiss. Gladiolus happily obliged and pressed his lips firmly against the other’s, his hand reaching up to cradle the back of Noctis’ head.
Gladio could feel Noctis’ body relax against his as their lips pressed against each other, over and over. Noct was coming in fast and hot, kissing the other with all his need and all his want, his tongue soon probing the corner’s of Gladio’s mouth for more. The shield relented to the Prince and gave him what he wanted. Anything for you.
As Noct began greedily lapping at the inside of Gladio’s mouth, he moaned gently, “Gladio..”
“I’m here..” He moaned in response, gently pulling his lips away from the other to plant a reassuring kiss on Noctis’ forehead. “..I’m here.” He said firmly once more, cradling his prince tightly in his arms.
“I’m glad..” Came Noct’s quiet response as he burrowed his face in Gladio’s chest, sighing contentedly. “..I’m glad you’re here.”
A warm feeling stirred in Gladio’s chest as he heard those heartfelt words come from the Prince he cares and loves the most. It was almost like a ball of happiness just burst inside his chest and began to spread throughout his entire body, making him feel warm and fuzzy all over from his head to his toes.
“..How about we have a night-in..” The shield proposed with a grin, “..I have this shitty takeaway that Ignis would disapprove of and I heard there’s some good movies out on Netflix.”
The Prince couldn’t help but smile at Gladiolus’ offer. There was nothing else the Prince could ask for, his shield was giving him so much and more.
“How about we don’t tell Ignis about the food but we tell him about the movies, I’m sure Specs would like to relax and unwind.. whenever he does.” Noct jested with a cheeky smile tugging at the edge of his lips, as he grabbed the other’s hand and guided him inside the messy apartment.
“I’m not really the lying type Noct, especially when it comes to Ignis…” Gladiolus flashed a grin at Noctis, wrapping his arms around the other as he pulled him in for another embrace. “..Ignis is scary when he’s angry.”
Noct kissed the corner of the other’s lips with a smile, “Well there’s a reason why you’re my shield. You’re there to protect me from harm. Which includes Ignis’ wrath.”
“Ignis’ wrath?”
“Especially Ignis’ wrath.”