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In another life, perhaps she wouldn't worry so much. Then again, perhaps not.
Keiko Urameshi is a worrier by nature, after all. She worries after her parents, who are by no means old but not quite young either. She worries after her friends, who are young but have seen so much; heavy burdens weighing down their wonderful souls. She worries about the life growing inside of her steadily, day by day, hoping that her child will be born healthy and happy, though she can't bear to think otherwise.
Mostly, though, she worries for her husband--as she always has.
He will leave one night for a case and not return for several more--nights she spends restless by the windowsill, waiting for his return. He always comes back, though sometimes he's left his smile behind somewhere, and it takes her gentle hands to help him find it again.
Sometimes, though, it's impossible to find at all. He will never tell her what horrors he witnesses, no matter how much they plague him.
So she worries, and frets, and fusses--but her husband is strong, in body and in heart. He smooths back her hair, kisses her forehead, and says, "I'll be fine. Just give it some time."
It's the same thing he said when he learned they had conceived a child together. He had this stricken look as he said it, as though someone had slapped him. No smile threatened to break through the stormcloud of emotion brewing across his face. She worried she may never see it again. He left her standing there in their kitchen, alone except for the growing child inside of her that Yusuke didn't seem to want.
A few hours later, she found him sitting on their porch outside, watching the snow fall.
"Come inside, Yusuke," she warned him, wrapping her coat tighter around herself, "or you'll catch a cold."
His shoulders shook. He wouldn't look at her.
"You think I'd make a good dad, Keiko?" He asked it so nonchalantly, like they were discussing weather patterns, that she had to fight the urge to whop him across the back of the head. She sensed he had more to say though, and quietly settled in beside him. "My dad was a piece of crap. Best thing he ever did was walk out on us."
His arm slung around her shoulder when she shivered, though not from the evening chill. Being close to him this way warmed her, in more ways than one, and she rested her head against his shoulder in a silent request to continue. She'd only heard bits and pieces of this story before, but she knew enough to expect what he said next.
"He hit my mom a lot," were the words that followed, whispered to the wind. "Sometimes me, too. I hated that bastard. He was the reason I started wanting to fight." A hollow bark of a laugh kissed the air. "I wanted to knock his skull in for even thinking about laying a hand on my mom."
"You're stronger for it though," she finally responded, reaching to take his hand in hers and squeeze. "You're more of a man than he could ever be, Yusuke. You're the best man I know. And it's okay to be scared."
Yusuke scoffed, eyeing her warily. "Scared? Who, me? Yeah, right."
"Don't lie. I know you, maybe even better than you know yourself. And this baby terrifies you."
Huffing indignantly, he disentangled himself from her and crossed his arms over his chest. Typical Yusuke, she thought fondly, boistering himself with bravado to hide his feelings. The sour expression he wore said it all.
"I'm scared too, you know," she admitted softly, placing her hand over her middle where life was beginning to form. "I've never been a mom, just like you've never been a dad."
"Duh, think we woulda noticed."
"Oh, shut up," she admonished, laughing despite herself. "My point is, the first time around is always a little scary. But for what it's worth, Yusuke," and here she smiled at him, so warmly the chill couldn't even touch them, "I'm so happy that you're the one I'm doing this with. You make me feel like the bravest girl in the whole world."
Then, like sunlight tentatively peeking through the clouds, came his beautiful smile. "You are, Keiko. You're the best girl anyone could ever ask for."
And when he kissed her on their porch on that cold winter night, it tasted like new beginnings, and a love so deep that it could weather any storm life threw at them. She knew then, without a doubt, that they'd be just fine.
Still, Keiko worries. She worries about her family, her friends, her unborn child, and her husband. But if she could have any other life, she'd still choose this one every time.