Work Text:
“Ohhh Fluuuuuuug”
Oh no, oh no, that can’t be good. What does that overgrown reptile want now? I need to hi-”Gah”
Aaaand, he was on the floor, with an inexplicably heavy girl on top of him, making it near impossible for the poor doctor to breath. The fact that she was bouncing up and down didn’t help the matter any.
“D-Demen-ci-a! Get off!”
“I will if you promise to do me a favor.”
“W-wah-“
“You have to make a special valentine to give to Black Hat!”
“p-plea-s I can’t b-breathe.”
“I’ll get off if you promise to make a special valentine.”
"F-fine.”
“Yay! Thank you, Flug-bug.”
The moment she was off of him, Flug gulped in as much air as he could. Ahh, sweet, sweet oxygen. He had only begun to push himself up before he heard the lab door slam shut. Of course.
Seeing as how he now had no choice in the manner, he finished picking himself up, and proceeded to walk grumpily over to his work station. What could be a good valentine? Would black hat even accept a valentine? Guh. It had to be something with blood for sure, probably involving a real human heart. Maby he could write it in intestines? Should he pick from his preserved storage, or use one of his test subject? And hero or civilian? Guh, how can their boss be so simple and complicated at the same time?
As always, the eldritch walked into his office directly after dinner. The thing that was different, however, was the smell of blood, and the black, velvet box on his desk. The thing couldn’t have been any bigger than a shoe box, yet the eldritch’s curiosity had been sufficiently piqued. He made his way over to his desk before examining the object of interest. The box was built like a chest, and the entire thing had been wrapped in a deep red ribbon, which was looped through a tag which said nothing but “Happy Valentine’s day, Blackie <3”.
The eldritch grimaced. That worm needed to stop this incessant flirting before he puked. He took one of his razor-sharp claws, and placed it under the ribbon, before pulling with barley any force, and watched satisfied as his claws cut through the ribbon as though it wasn’t even there.
He placed his thumb on the latch, one of those you would find on a jewelry box. A little rounded hook, which had another arm extending from it on which a person would place their thumb, and unsheathe it from it’s loop. When he finished unlatching it, he placed the tip of one finger under the lid and slowly lifted it.
He was pleasantly surprised, for what he found inside that box was a human heart, attached to a small machine which took up barley 2 square inches of space that kept the organ pumping. A machine like that could only have been made by one person… His dear doctor. Perhaps he should pay the skittish man a visit for all his hard work.
Flug sat in his lab, massaging his temples. His prior encounter had left him with one hell of a headache, and the aspirin had yet to kick in. There had to be more he could do for the pain. Water would probably do a world of good, since most headaches are caused by dehydration.
With a heavy sigh, Flug pushed off of his desk at an angle, causing his swivel chair roll back while rotating. He went to stand up, but stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Annoyed, he opened his eyes to glare and his mouth to yell, but froze when he saw none other than Black Hat standing over him, flashing a highly suggestive grin.
“Hello there, doctor. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a little black gift box that popped up on my desk this evening, would you?”
Shit! Fuck! Goddamit! Hell! Fuck! Sunuva bitch! He should’ve known that this was going to backfire on him. Everything that happens in the mansion, no matter who causes it, always led back to him.
“U-um, I b-be-believe it was f-from D-Demencia, sir.” Damn his accursed stutter, and damn his boss for being so terrifying and attractive at the same time.
“Demencia? Well, that can’t be right. You and I both know that that girl is about as sharp as a straight line. There is only one person in this house that is capable of making a gadget like that, and that is you.”
“She m-m-m-made me d-do it. I I d-didn’t have a ch-choice”
Tsk, tsk, tsk “That’s not what matters here, Dr. Flug.” The eldritch grabbed his chin with the tip of his gloved fingers, and he could feel how close his boss’ talons were to ripping the fabric, and his flesh. “What matters, is that you designed and built the offending gift, am I correct?”
“Y-yes s-sir”
“Good.” The edges of his mouth drew up ever so slightly” Now, my dear doctor, how did you come up with such a personal and enticing gift?”
“w-well sir, I I know h-how much y-you l-like fresh h-hearts, and I I figured the b-best way to present it wi-without the m-mess was to h-have already harvested it, b-but th-then i-it wouldn’t be a-as fresh, s-so I just made sure i-it was s-still b-beating.” He broke off his rant with a small nervous chuckle. He had talked way too long. His boss was probably super annoyed. He was going or apologize, but he kept quiet because the eldritch had started to speak.
“How very clever and resourceful of you doctor. I think creativity of this nature deserves a reward.”
Before Flug could even begin to process that sentence, his bag was being pushed up, and his boss’ lips were on his. This couldn’t be happening. He had to be dreaming. There was no way his boss would ever kiss him. He would’ve pulled away if it weren’t for the fact that the eldritch had him pinned to his chair.
Ever so timidly, the doctor began to open his mouth and reciprocate. He felt the briefest flash of that reptilian tongue against, but that was it before he heard a loud crash of a ventilation cover falling off of the vents. His boss had pulled away at this, and he managed to spin his chair around just in time to see Demencia landing on her face next to vent cover.
Well, that explains why his boss kissed him. Why would he do anything that didn’t result in the misery of others. He shouldn’t have expected anything different.
Before he could finish internally cringing, he heard the telltale crash of hundreds of dollars’ worth of lab equipment being thrown down the drain. He couldn’t even register anger as he was pulled up by the collar of his t-shirt, his feet dangling a good 3ft off the floor considering the hybrid was holding him while standing on his desk.
“FLUG SLYS, DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD JUST WALTS IN AND KISS MY MAN?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BECAUSE YOU’RE REALY JUST A PATHETIC EGG-HEADED NOBODY! DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH BLACK HAT AGAIN! HE IS MINE, MINE MINE!!”
“Is that so?” the eldritch in question asked, a highly amused smirk on his face.
“YES!”, and with that, Demencia stormed out of the lab, breaking literally anything within a 3-foot radius of her on her way out. Flug would’ve curled up under his desk to die if black hat didn’t burst out laughing. His boss had his head thrown back, and stayed like that for a moment before bending forward, and putting his hand on Flug’s desk for support, and wrapping his other arm around his midsection. Flug had never seen his boss get like this, and was starting to get a little concerned.
It took a whole minute for black hat to gain his composure. He wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye and readjusted his tie which hadn’t moved what so ever. He looked back at all the damage to the lab with a deep chuckle, before snapping his fingers and repairing all of the damage instantly.
Flug’s eyes lit up behind his goggles, seeing the way his boss fixed everything he turned to thank the eldritch, only to find the other’s face inches away from his own.
“Now, where were we doctor?” the eldritch reached for Flug’s bag, moving the obstructing object just enough to kiss the doctor again. Being slightly less shocked this time, Flug was less hesitant to reciprocate the action. So, did this mean his boss really did like him?
He sure hoped so.