Archive of Our Own

It happens slowly. So slow, in fact, that Evie barely even notices a change at first.

Mal’s smiles are a little tighter, her voice a little quieter and while Evie notices she doesn’t really pay it much mind. Mal’s had a hard life, hell, they all have, Jay, Carlos, Evie too. Mal’s allowed to have off days.

It’s just a little strange when it becomes off weeks.

Evie watches her carefully. Mal’s tired and quiet and somehow she always looks cold.

Which- well-

She’s a dragon so that’s a little weird.

She seems smaller and Evie just wants to touch her cheek and demand answers.

Evie finds Mal staring directly into her locker one day. It’s as if she’s not actually seeing, just existing. She doesn’t respond when Evie taps her shoulder once.

“Mal?” Evie asks softly as she touches Mal’s shoulder again. Mal blinks once.

“Evie. Hi.” Mal smiles, small again. It doesn’t reach her eyes. She starts collecting some books from her locker.

“Mal, are you okay?” Mal blinks again.

“Of course.” Evie loves how terrible Mal is at lying but she doesn’t push for more, she can already tell Mal’s exhausted. Instead, Evie props her own books up onto her hip and takes Mal’s from her, adding them to her own pile.

Mal blinks again in silent confusion and Evie’s beginning to wonder if she’s just having eye troubles or something but then Mal smiles and it’s different to before. There’s not a smile in her eyes but something else. Evie feels warm.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to class.”

-

The blank stares and empty words become less but Evie’s not sure if that’s a good thing. Mal’s eyes are glowing green more often and it takes it out of her. She sleeps more but not really. Evie hears her wake from nightmares; she hears her crying in the middle of the night.

But you’d never know.

Obviously Jay and Carlos know something’s up. They’ve been a family for years now. They stick close to Mal, they walk her to class, keep reporters and awe struck kids away, Mal doesn’t even notice.

There’s only so much Evie can take. Whatever pain Mal’s in, Evie wants to take it from her. She just doesn’t know how.

“Mal?” Evie sits on the edge of her bed, opposite Mal. “Can I ask you something?”

Mal notes the tone in Evie’s voice and frowns.

“Of course, E. What’s wrong?” Evie draws a nervous breath.

“Are you- Is there-” Evie swallows. “Are you going to go back to the Isle again?” Evie spits out quickly. She nervously wrings her hands together and stares at the ground beneath her feet.

“What? Why would you think that?” Mal whispers, crossing the distance to Evie’s bed to sit beside her.

“You’re sad again. I can see it. You don’t want to be here.” Evie mumbles sadly, convincing herself that she’s right. Then she feels Mal’s fingers in her hair, slowly working their way from her scalp to the tips. Evie’s eyes flutter shut, she could fall asleep.

“It’s not that.” It feels like forever before she replies. Evie glances up, her heart quickens when she meets Mal’s eyes.

“Then what?”

“Everything else.” Mal breathes out. Evie doesn’t know what “everything else” means but it doesn’t look like Mal’s about to elaborate.

Mal stands then and Evie lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

“You don’t need to worry about me, E.” Mal smiles and leans down to kiss the top of Evie’s head. “I can take care of myself.”

Evie wants to argue. Wants to tell her she doesn’t have to, wants to tell her that Evie will always take care of her, even if Mal doesn’t want her to. But weirdly, no words leave her lips.

She misses Mal’s touch as soon as she goes back to her own bed. Evie watches her climb under the covers.

“I promise.” Mal whispers, her tone somber. “Go to sleep.”

Evie doesn’t.

-

It’s Jay and Carlos’ first Tourney match of the season and everyone shows up. The bleachers are packed, students jostling about trying to find a seat that they’re not even going to end up sitting in. Evie ends up jammed between Jane, Lonnie, and Audrey.

“This is ridiculous.” Audrey grumbles, elbowing her way closer into their little pack.

“You’re tellin’ me.” Evie replies in the same tone.

“It’s all Jay and Carlos’ fault you know?” Lonnie says. “They’ve upped our wins and the games are actually fun to watch now.”

“I’ll say.” Jane sighs, watching Carlos flail about on the field. Evie’s face wrinkles up in disgust.

“I’m gonna go.” Evie announces already half way to the end of the row.

“Don’t leave us like this!” Lonnie yells, gesturing at the general madness happening around them. Audrey throws her arms out in agreement while Jane continues to stare dreamily at her boyfriend’s less than athletic frame.

“Places to be, dresses to see.” She singsongs. That’s a lie; she’s not got any dresses on order and with a quick wave she’s out of there.

Mal hadn’t shown and Evie was worried. It was becoming a trend, one she wasn’t a fan of. She dials Mal’s number; it rings a couple times then goes to voicemail. Evie huffs out a breath and quickens her pace.

Evie almost slams head first into the dormitory door when it doesn’t open all the way. She gives it a little extra shove but it still doesn’t budge.

Then she hears a whimper.

“Mal?!” Evie pushes the door just enough so that she can crane her neck around. Mal lay on the floor all hunched up in a fetal position. “Mal!” No response. She pushes her way through the smallest crack and lets the door slam shut behind her. Evie throws her bag on the floor and crouches down next to the shivering girl.

She reaches out and touches Mal’s cheek. Cold.

“Mal wake up!” Evie wraps her fingers around Mal’s shoulder and shakes lightly. All of a sudden Mal’s eyes fly open, bright green, scared. “Mal, you gotta calm down. Listen to me.” Evie smoothes Mal’s hair back from her eyes. Her breathing doesn’t change and Evie doesn’t know what to do. She glances back at the beds, two seconds later she’s wrapping Mal in a duvet.

“You’ve got to work with me here, M.” Evie lies down on the floor opposite Mal and touches their foreheads together. “I need you to breathe slowly.”

It doesn’t work.

“Come on, Mal. Please.” Evie lays her hand on Mal’s cheek, lets her thumb run back and forth over the pale skin. It takes a few seconds, but it works. Her breathing slows, she’s still cold but the duvet seems to be helping.

Evie stays on the floor with her until the green in Mal’s eyes finally peaks. Mal’s body goes rigid and she gasps for air. Then the green is gone and Evie’s eyes find the ones that she’s come to know so well.

“Evie?”

“You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I know.”

Evie helps Mal, drained and damp from a cold sweat, into her bed. It takes ten seconds before Mal’s fast asleep.

Evie doesn’t stray too far the next day, only leaving at breakfast time to grab something quick for herself. She shoves a couple of breakfast muffins into her bag and snags a carton of juice for Mal. She probably hasn’t eaten properly in days. Evie feels the uncomfortable knot in her stomach pull tighter.

She doesn’t know what to do and she can’t ask anyone for help, it’s not their business, it’s Mal’s and Evie knows from years of best friend experience that she probably wouldn’t want to let anybody else in. When she gets back to the room Carlos and Jay are already there.

“Hey, how is she?” Jay asks as he follows Evie into the room.

“She’s asleep. I think that’s probably what’s best for her right now.” Evie sighs and drops her bag onto her bed. Carlos comes over to sit beside her and rests his arm over her shoulders. She nuzzles into his shoulder just a little and closes her eyes.

“What can we do?” Carlos asks quietly, eyes on Mal the entire time. Evie glances up to her best friend, watches her chest rise and fall with every breath. She doesn’t know, how is she supposed to know when Mal won’t help, when Mal won’t even let her in.

Jay moves to the end of Mal’s bed and gently rests a hand on top of the blanket covering her feet. She doesn’t stir.

“She’ll talk to us.” Jay nods to himself. “When she’s ready.”

Evie cuddles further into Carlos and hopes he’s right.

-

Mal sleeps for a complete day, maybe a little longer. Evie’s become so used to the rhythm of Mal’s soft breaths that when there’s a slight skip she props herself up on her pillow and turns just to check.

“Hi.” Mal croaks out and Evie stops breathing. She doesn’t know what it is she feels, but that giant knot in her stomach finally gives just a little. She’s slow to get to her feet and crosses the room on tiptoes. It’s as if she doesn’t want to break the moment, to send Mal back to sleep or something, which she knows is a ridiculous idea. Evie crouches at Mal’s bedside right in front of her best friend’s face and she smiles, small, timid.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Evie sweeps the bright purple hair from Mal’s eyes; her fingers linger a little longer than they should.

For the first time in a long, long time Mal smirks. A charming, lovable, annoying smirk and it’s real. Evie feels a warmth settle in her stomach, her heart beats quicker, there’s a smile on her lips and she doesn’t remember how it got there. She savors the feeling Mal gives her.

“Good. I haven’t slept that well in ages.” Mal takes in a deep breath through her nose and stretches her arms above her head. She closes her eyes and lets a content smile wipe away the smirk. Her face is a picture of pure bliss.

Evie wants to kiss her.

Wait.

What?

“What time is it?” Mal murmurs, shuffling around in her bed but eventually coming back to face Evie, who’s still stuck thinking.

“It’s um, Saturday night. Just past seven.” Evie mutters on autopilot.

“I slept for a day?” Mal frowns pushing herself up. She grabs her phone, which Evie had put on charge the night before and checks the time for herself. Evie guesses that she nods. She’s not overly sure.

She’s never wanted to kiss her best friend before; at least, she doesn’t think she has. She’s always wanted to be close to Mal, she just feels better somehow whenever Mal’s around, but that shouldn’t mean that she wants to be with her?

Then Mal huffs out a breath and pouts at her phone.

And Evie wants to kiss her again. Her eyes dart down to Mal’s lips and she cant help but lick her own lips and stare.

She almost forgets about everything.

“Mal.” The words drop from her lips uneasily, her tongue heavy and mouth dry. “What’s going on with you?”

Mal looks down at her with a furrowed brow; Evie recognizes the hesitation flashing behind her eyes. Mal opens her mouth to reply but Evie holds her hand up to stop her before she can say anything.

“I don’t want any excuses. I don’t want to hear “I’m fine” or “I can take care of myself.” Who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t shown up when I did the other night? You know you can talk to me.” Evie pauses before brushing her fingers down Mal’s arm, tangling their fingers together once Evie’s hand meets Mal’s. She’s never faltered like that before.

She swallows down her feelings and squeezes Mal’s hand. Mal refuses to make eye contact and instead stares at the curtains. Her eyes start to water; Evie can see her biting down on her tongue, trying to keep the tears from falling. If Mal cries she don’t know what she’ll do.

Without thinking Evie pushes up on her toes and wraps Mal up in her arms, pushing her friend back down onto her bed. She untangles her fingers from Mal’s so she can wind herself around the other girl more effectively. She rolls over Mal’s body so she’s on her side; Mal presses her face into Evie’s neck and lets out the weakest sob.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to make you cry. I just- you’re making yourself sick, M.” Evie says, voice faint.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Mal says, so softly that Evie almost doesn’t hear.

“What?” Evie draws patterns on Mal’s back, ignoring the tightness in her chest. Mal’s breathing evens out again, she pushes down a little so she’s cuddled into Evie’s chest, listening to her friend’s heartbeat. Evie prays she doesn’t hear the way her heart quickens.

“Everything, be who I’m not, be normal.” Mal pauses and then buries her face into Evie’s collarbone. “Ben.” Evie frowns, she’s never seen any sign of trouble between Ben and Mal. It doesn’t make sense.

“What’s wrong with Ben?”

“Nothing, he’s wonderful.” Evie feels Mal swallowing shakily. “He looks at me like I put the stars in the sky or something! He’s such a good person. But I don’t love him. I don’t want that life I just- ”

Evie holds her breath and waits for more. She can barely believe what she’s hearing and she hates the way it makes her feel hopeful. This isn’t the time.

“I miss myself. I miss me. Who I was before. Not like the stealing or whatever, even though yeah, that was fun.” Mal chuckles, Evie shoots her a stern stare. “I feel like my life isn’t my own anymore. People keep taking it away, telling me what to do, where to be, how to look.”

“You always look great.” Evie says without thinking but Mal just grins and tightens her hold of her best friend.

“That’s because you’re the one that makes me look great.” Fair point. “I thought I wanted all of it, but I don’t and now I don’t know how to get out of it. I don’t know how to stop pretending to be okay with it all.”

They lie in silence for a little while, warm and comfortable. Evie wishes Mal had come to her sooner, had said anything to signify that she wasn’t happy.

“What do we do now?” Mal asks, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Evie has to look away to concentrate.

“Well, you need to talk to Ben, you know you can’t keep stringing him along.” She feels Mal tense beside her.

“I know.”

-

Things are easier from then on.

Mal talks to Ben and he understands. At first he’s really upset, tries to tell her that it’ll be okay, she doesn’t have to do anything that she doesn’t want to but in the end they both know that’s not how living in royalty works. He’d noticed Mal becoming someone she wasn’t like Evie had herself. They’d hugged and decided on a time when they could hang out together with the other VKs.

Mal had come back with tears in her eyes and a lighter heart.

The nightmares eased but they didn’t disappear the way Evie hoped they would. She hears Mal wake every other night gasping for breath, panting heavily; sometimes she hears a gentle sob escape her best friend’s throat. Evie always listens until she hears Mal’s breathing even out again before she lets herself fall back to sleep.

There’s a night when Mal wakes with a yell and Evie flies across the room before she even realizes what she’s doing. She’s sweating; Evie pushes purple hair out of her friend’s eyes and makes gentle shushing sounds as Mal’s chest continues to heave with every breath.

It takes a minute for Mal to realize where she is and that there’s nothing to be afraid of, there’s nothing expected of her, she’s just Mal.

“You good?” Evie smiles carefully and Mal sees her for the first time, Evie sees her eyes soften, a look of comfort cross her features.

“Yeah, yeah.” Mal nods and pulls a little at her sleep shirt. “Ugh, I feel so gross.” Evie frowns sympathetically and tugs the covers off of Mal’s legs.

“You should get changed, come on.” Evie takes her hand and pulls her up, Mal sighs and finds a spare set of shorts and a light shirt. While she changes in the bathroom Evie strips her bed and piles the laundry in the corner of the room. They’ll have to wash it all tomorrow.

Evie frowns, she thought Mal would have been able to work through her nightmares by now. Frankly, Evie’s all out of ideas, she’s doing the best she can but it doesn’t seem to be enough.

“God, I could hear you thinking from the other room.” Evie jumps when Mal walks straight past her to throw her damp clothes onto the pile of laundry. She gives Evie a quick adoring smirk before tying her hair up into a messy bun. “They’re getting better, I promise.” Mal rests a hand on the arms Evie’s crossed across her stomach.

“I feel like they’re not.” Evie insists. Mal smiles softly in return.

“They’re not as scary as they were. My mom isn’t in half as many as she used to be which is, whew, a big relief because I don’t know if you know this but that woman is terrifying.” Evie can’t help but grin a little when Mal chuckles to herself. “Sure, there’s the occasional bad one but I think its getting better.”

Evie stares into Mal’s eyes and bites down on her lower lip. She thinks Mal looks beautiful like this. A little messy, vulnerable, the corner of her mouth pulling upward into a smirk that’s strictly reserved for Evie, her features under the moonlight soft and warm. She thinks about kissing her again. She thinks about it a lot actually, she’s dreamed of it a couple of times but it’s a bad idea. Mal’s just getting to be herself again and Evie doesn’t even want to think of screwing that up.

“Okay.” Evie breathes. Mal smiles and lets her hand fall back to her side, she glances at the mattress on her bed then at Evie’s bed across the room. Evie knows what she’s going to say before Mal’s even thought of it herself.

“Hop in.” Evie sighs before nodding over her shoulder at her own bed. Mal grins toothily and links her fingers with Evie’s pulling her back to the bed.

“Just like old times.” Mal seems a little too enthusiastic but Evie doesn’t question it, she’s mostly in her own head, panicking at the prospect of having to spend a night cuddled up close to her best friend.

The best friend she likes more than she should.

“Yeah.” She swallows thickly as Mal nestles into the space between Evie’s collarbone and chin. “Old times.”

-

The urge to kiss Mal gets more prominent with every day that passes. It’s not like Evie is actually helping herself get over her best friend, in a way she doesn’t really want to get over her. She likes the way Mal makes her feel; warm, comfortable, safe but at the same time she knows Mal doesn’t think about Evie in the way Evie thinks about Mal. It’s a little sad but Evie’s used to disappointment.

It’s still hard though and it’s mostly Evie’s fault for letting it get this far.

Mal and Evie usually find each other before class at the lockers; more often than not Jay and Carlos join them, Jane and Lonnie too. It’s pretty cool how their little group has expanded even though Evie sometimes misses it being just the four of them.

They share most of the same classes so walking together is pretty standard, what isn’t pretty standard is the way Mal’s fingers begin to slip between Evie’s on their way to class. It happens once, then some more and all of a sudden it’s almost a constant. No one else seems to notice or if they do they really just don’t care. Mal doesn’t even seem to notice she’s doing it.

The first time Mal holds her hand in school Evie turns to her with concern, maybe she’s trying to quietly tell her she’s about to go all dragon and she’s got no way to stop it, maybe she’s trying to tell her she’s going to faint again, there must be an explanation. But Mal doesn’t even look at her; she’s too busy hooking her ankle around Carlos’ foot trying to trip him into Jay who’s walking up front. It’s like Evie is the only one with actual eyes.

It’s sort of a given after a while, it gets to the point where Evie actually searches for Mal’s hand while they walk to class, she still blushes when their fingers touch and she wonders how Mal hasn’t caught on yet. They used to hold hands all the time on the Isle but Evie doesn’t ever remember feeling like this, she doesn’t remember the blushing or the slightly sweaty hands, the warmth in her chest. How could Mal not notice?

She lets Mal sleep in her bed too, which, if you’re trying to get over said person? Not the greatest plan but it’s like she can’t say no and it’s not as if she’s actually hurting anybody, well, except herself of course.

Whenever a nightmare wakes Mal, which only happens about three or four times a week no, Evie usually wakes too. It’s kind of like a routine, Evie’s still unsure of how it actually started.

Evie props herself up on her elbows, squinting into the dark making out the shadow of her best friend sitting bolt upright on her mattress. She usually waits a minute or two; it takes a while for Mal to come back to Earth. Sometimes her eyes glow that piercing green Evie knows too well, she just waits til Mal settles, figuring out her surroundings.

“You coming?” That’s all it takes really, that and Evie tugging back the covers on her bed while shuffling over to the side making enough room for Mal to slide in beside her.

Mal fumbles her way out of her own bed and quickly scrambles into Evie’s. She pulls the covers back up over them both. Mal used to mumble some kind of apology but Evie had managed to get her to stop a week or two back. There was nothing to apologize for and there was enough bed to share.

It wouldn’t take too long for Mal to fall back to sleep, a peaceful one at that. She’d tangle her ankles with Evie’s or sometimes find one of her hands under the duvet and link their fingers weakly. Occasionally she’d snuggle into Evie’s neck and be out like a light a minute later. That was the one Evie hated the most, her heart would begin to hammer so hard that she couldn’t hear anything else, her palms would sweat and she’d be awake for hours after.

She doesn’t stop it though, especially not when it seems to help Mal get a good nights sleep in every now and again.

Evie wonders if this is how it’s going to be forever. She doesn’t know if she can bear the thought of it, never actually getting the girl but knowing what it’s like to be close to her.

-

It’s a Friday and Evie is actually ready for the week to be done. She loves class and learning and everything about school weirdly enough. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t get tired, especially with Mal making her night times a little complicated.

She can’t wait to just go back to her dorm, put on some calming movie that she’s not actually going to watch and fall asleep, just the thought of it makes her sleepy and content.

She zones out and only remembers where she is when her science teacher asks her a question that she doesn’t know the answer to, which sucks because she actually likes science, she’s just been a little too tired to pay attention today. The teacher rolls his eyes when she shrugs in response and moves on to his next victim.

She hears a snigger and glares daggers at the boy across the bench from her.

“Still as dumb as she looks.” Chad stage whispers to one of his friends sat next to him, clearly intending on Evie hearing. To the other boy’s credit, he just kind of looks at Chad like he’s got better things to be doing. She continues to glare but ignores him for the most part. Supposes it’s her fault for attracting the attention of ridiculously immature boys.

Toward the end of the lesson he throws a balled up piece of paper her way, it lands in front of her, Evie doesn’t move at first, debating whether or not to entertain such a childish move. She goes against her better judgment and straightens out the paper to read what he’d written.

She frowns down at the scrawl, reads it over again, then scrunches the paper back up and shoves it deep into her bag. She doesn’t look back up at him; instead she stares down at the workbook on the desk. She doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing tears form in her eyes so she shrugs her hair forward, acting as a curtain.

Evie doesn’t know why she’s getting so upset, people have said worse things to her out loud in public, this really isn’t as bad as some of that. Maybe it’s because she’s tired. Maybe it’s because she’s been so run down lately, maybe it would take the tiniest thing for her to finally snap.

She prays for the class to end so she can get the hell out of there.

Something finally goes her way when they’re dismissed not five minutes later. Evie hooks her bag over her arm at speed and makes for the door. Chad sticks his foot out just a little to trip her but Evie only stumbles out of his way.

“I’d really consider it you know.” Chad smirks and leaves the room before she does. Evie draws a shuddery breath and makes for her dorm, Chad went the way she would usually take so she uses the long way, ducking away whenever she sees someone she knows. She dosen’t want to talk right now.

Mal’s not there when she slams the door shut behind herself. That’s when she finally, finally lets herself cry. She cries herself to the bathroom, cries while she strips and showers, cries while scrubbing the make up from her face. She can’t remember crying like this and she doesn’t think it’s just because of Chad and his stupid note.

By the time she’s managed to pull on some shorts and a light long sleeved blue shirt she feels sick from crying, her throat hurts and her eyes feel raw. She forgets the movie and just climbs into bed, it’s only five but it feels later with the curtains drawn, the sun setting earlier now it’s autumn. She pushes the bag that she’d dropped on her bed to the ground then pauses. She leans over and rifles through the top pocket, she finds the note, flattens it out again, she doesn’t know why. She’s just torturing herself for no good reason. She drops it in the direction of the trashcan.

She gets a text from Mal, she’s in Jay and Carlos’ room and invites Evie along, Evie doesn’t bother replying, she needs to sleep for like a week, she just doesn’t have the energy right now.

She only realizes that she fell asleep when she’s being shaken awake. Her vision is a blur of pink and purple and green. Evie squints in the dark to try and make out the person before her even though she knows exactly who it is.

“Mal?” Evie croaks her throat still scratched and raw from the crying. “Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?” She checks Mal over for any signs of distress then frowns when she sees the other girl still wearing her leather coat and jeans.

“E, it’s only nine are you sick?” Evie feels cool fingers brush her forehead gently; she closes her eyes at the soothing contact.

“I’m fine.”

“Really? E? That’s my line.” Mal raises her eyebrows and folds her arms across her chest. “It’s a Friday night and you’re in bed by nine, looking like you’ve been asleep hours longer.”

“I’m just tired, M, really.” Evie falls back against her bed huffing out a breath.

“Mhmm.” Mal narrows her eyes a soft, small smirk painting her lips. “Still my line.” Evie just rolls her eyes. “You want company?” Mal asks, back to her chipper self, she starts unzipping her jacket before she even finishes her sentence and then in a second Mal appears, crawling into Evie’s bed in a baggy top and shorts. She’s pulled her hair up into a messy bun and the urge to kiss her hits Evie full force. She can’t tear her eyes away Mal just looks so beautiful.

Evie can’t deal with these emotions right now.

“Are you even tired?” Evie asks weakly as Mal slings an arm around Evie’s waist and snuggles into her. Mal lets out a low breath through her nose and her eyes flutter shut.

“Can always sleep with you, E.” Mal mumbles. Evie bites down on her tongue. Why is Mal doing this to her? Couldn’t she have just let her have one night?

Apparently not.

When she wakes the next day she’s wrestling with a face full of purple hair that’s tickling her skin, she’s got a dead arm from taking the majority of Mal’s weight and her legs are cold, Mal’s stolen almost the entirety of the covers. Mal grumbles and turns over to face Evie, still mostly asleep. Evie tries not to be a stereotype, tries not to be in love with her best friend. But Mal’s so close now; Evie could recall the exact shade of pink of Mal’s lips, she could count the freckles on her pale skin. She makes it to twenty-one before she falls back to sleep.

It’s the best nights sleep she’s had in weeks.

-

Evie tries to tell her one day. She can’t stand it any longer, thinks telling Mal everything might lift her heart a little, even if Mal does reject her (which Evie expects to be honest) she can start really getting over her.

But the chance never presents itself, or maybe plenty of chances present themselves but Evie’s blind to them. She’s driving herself mad.

She’s following behind Jane and Carlos not really paying attention to what any of them are saying. Mal’s arm is linked through her own, she’s talking to Jay about how much better Lonnie is at sport than he is and for the most part, he’s actually agreeing.

“Hey, Ben!” Jane greets happily as said King walks past their group, Evie goes to smile at him but notes his company before she does. Chad shoots her a very subtle smarmy grin; she ducks her head quickly, deciding to ignore the passing group as the rest of her friends smile and wave.

“E?” Mal whispers, her brow furrows in concern. Evie quickly plasters on a smile.

“I’m so hungry, do you think they’ll have pancakes at lunch?”

Mal regards her with an uneasy look but eventually smiles, small and nods her head from side to side, weighing up their chances.

“If not we can make some tonight.” Mal promises, tugging Evie’s arm closer to her body. They get to lunch and are saddened to find no pancakes anywhere in sight, they settle for sweet muffins and fruit. Mal makes it clear that they’re still going to make pancakes. Apparently Evie’s sweet tooth is very important to Mal.

Their lunch is interrupted when Ben leans over their table.

“Uh, sorry guys, Mal, Fairy Godmother wants to see you in her office.” Ben looks like he knows what it’s all about, he gives her a slightly disapproving look but it’s mixed with a hint of amusement. Funnily enough, Mal also looks unsurprised maybe even a little satisfied at the news. “Evie, you too.” The look Ben gives her is more sympathetic, soft, kind. Evie seems to be the only one with no idea what’s going on. She’s sure she’s done nothing wrong but doesn’t argue with Ben, he’s just the messenger after all.

They leave the hall to cheers and stomping from their table, their laughter stays with them until they leave the building.

“What do you think this is about?” Evie asks Mal already tensing up, her hands wring together nervously. Mal folds her arms and just shrugs the same way she used to on the Isle, the way she did when she’d done something bad uncaring of the consequences.

Before she knows it they’re outside the office waiting to be called in. When they are Evie is met with a sight.

Chad is standing with his hands on his hips, his hair a complete mess, the best part? His skin and clothes covered head to toe in a multitude of different colours of paint. His hair shines a vibrant green; his face is a mixture of the same green and fuchsia, the pink turns to blues and oranges and yellows. Evie doesn’t know how long her jaw has been hanging open before the Fairy Godmother speaks.

“Mal, I’m sure you’re aware this is unacceptable behavior.” Evie notes the lack of bite in her tone.

“Maybe so. But I’m pretty sure what he did is much worse.” Mal tilts her head to the side and grins at Chad, the kind of grin Mal reserves for people she utterly detests. Fairy Godmother looks like she’s about to have a stroke.

“You’re not wrong but you know taking matters into your own hands isn’t the right way to handle situations like this.” Chad still hasn’t said a word but he looks like he’s ready to blow, she’s noticed his hands becoming tight fists by his sides.

“Are you going to expel her?” Chad shoves a purple hand out, pointing angrily at Mal.

“Absolutely not, Chad and I’d be careful if I were you, what you’ve done is appalling and it worries me that you don’t see that.”

That’s when Evie sees it, the note Chad had written to her in science, its just lying on Fairy Godmother’s desk. The edges are dusted with blues and greens now but it’s definitely the same one. Evie feels her cheeks heat up in embarrassment; she folds her arms and shuffles back a little.

“Evie, dear, why didn’t you come to me? You know we don’t tolerate this kind of language- this kind of behavior in our school.” Fairy Godmother walks around her desk and tries to catch Evie’s gaze.

“It’s whatever, I’d forgotten about it.” She hadn’t.

“See! She’d forgotten about it! My parents are not going to be happy.” Chad gestures at Evie and she flinches.

“Chad I swear to Te Fiti if you don’t stop talking I will make you.” Fairy Godmother smiles brightly at him but there’s a wicked look in her eye which makes him swallow thickly and shove his hands deep into his pockets.

“What happened?” Evie asks, glancing between Mal and Fairy Godmother, the latter sighs and rests a hand on Evie’s shoulder.

“Mal, for the time being you’re on probation. If I find you’ve pulled something like this again you will catch these magical hands. Clear?”

“Yes Sir.” Mal salutes confidently, a genuine smile on her lips. “We can go now, right?” She gestures vaguely between herself and Evie.

“Yes, fine, go, go.” Fairy Godmother shoos them from the room without even answering Evie’s question. Mal closes the door behind them and Evie’s lips brim with questions.

“Not here.” Mal insists, leaving no room for argument. Mal tugs her all the way to their dorm room and only lets go once they’re both inside.

“Whew, I for sure thought I was getting thrown out for that.”

“Mal, where did you find that note?” Evie asks quietly, still embarrassed that Mal had even read it. Mal’s eyes turn softer a gentle look sweeps over her face.

“That day you went to bed early? I got up before you did the next day and I saw it on the floor next to the trash, I presume you meant to throw it away? You must have missed.” Mal steps closer and reaches up to sweep Evie’s hair behind her ear, uncovering her tinted cheeks and watery eyes. “I knew who had wrote it, I didn’t even need to think about it.” A tear escapes and rolls down Evie’s cheek. Mal brushes it away with a thumb and frowns, stepping even closer.

“I wasn’t going to let him think he could talk to you like that. No one is allowed to talk to you like that.” Mal continues to smooth Evie’s hair from her face. Her face still feels hot and uncomfortable and to be honest, Mal’s touch isn’t helping.

“I rigged his locker with paint bombs and attached the letter to his door, made him aware I photocopied it so if he tried to get rid of it I’d still have a copy myself. That was a lie obviously, I still don’t understand how the photocopier works.” Evie lets out an involuntary watery laugh. “I wish you’d have come to me.”

“The same way you came to me you mean?” Evie raises an accusatory eyebrow and Mal rolls her eyes.

“We need to stop being so stubborn.” Mal says, bringing her other hand up to tuck the hair on the other side of Evie’s face behind her ear. Evie tries not to hold her breath, pretends not to notice how close they are. “No more secrets, ever, okay?”

Evie stares into Mal’s eyes and licks her lips, she wonders when her mouth got so dry. All she can do is nod dumbly and try her damned best not to lean down and kiss her.

-

Mal purposes that they skip the rest of their classes but Evie reminds her of the warning Fairy Godmother had given her. Mal groans and argues and rolls her eyes all the way back to class. Evie couldn’t be more in love with her if she tried.

The rest of the school day flies by, the heavy weight she’d been feeling the other day was long gone, the space filled instead by Mal’s smiles and terrible jokes. Jay and Carlos run off to Tourney practice pretty soon after last period, yelling their goodbyes over their shoulders. Jay tries to grab Carlos by the collar but the smaller boy jumps out of the way and starts screaming when Jay decides to chase him across the pitch.

“I don’t know how they actually survived on the Isle.” Mal frowns while watching the two boys disappear into the distance.

“They had each other, remember?” Evie pokes Mal’s shoulder and smiles knowingly. Mal, obviously, rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah and we had each other, we all had each other I get it. Blah blah blah. Like some kind of special support group.” Mal waves her hands about in the air, Evie catches one with her own hand and joins their fingers together. Mal smiles over at her friend as they begin to walk back to their dorm.

“Thanks for defending me.” Evie says quietly, she watches their hands swinging between them instead of looking up to Mal’s eyes. Mal squeezes her fingers.

“Of course. I’ll always defend you.” If hearts could glow, Evie thinks hers would be right now. She beams up at Mal instead; she manages a few seconds of eye contact before feeling the need to breathe. “So,” Mal starts. “About those pancakes…”

They go back to their room to change into lighter more casual clothes. Evie decides to swap tiaras; Mal just side eyes her fondly. It’s already beginning to get dark by the time they set off in search of the kitchens. The corridors become more and more deserted the further they walk, they don’t see a soul by the time they reach the kitchens.

“So, what are you feeling? Chocolate? Strawberry?” Mal asks casually as she starts delving into the cupboards, grabbing ingredients as she finds them. “Blueberry?” Mal turns to wiggle her eyebrows at Evie knowing fine well that Evie loves blueberries.

“Blueberry and strawberry?” Evie shrugs thoughtfully. Mal’s eyes go wide at the suggestion; Evie can practically see her mind being blown. She looks unbelievably cute.

“You’re a genius.”

“I know.” Evie tips her head to the side and smiles toothily at Mal. Mal clamps her lips together and just glares at her friend, Evie can’t help but laugh quietly at Mal’s range of extravagant facial expressions.

“Okay, let’s do this. Spoon me.” Mal stares straight ahead with determined eyes and throws her hand out in front of Evie waiting to be handed the utensil.

“Every other night.” Evie says back in the same steadfast tone Mal had just used.

“I hate you, give me the spoon.” Mal groans as she turns to Evie. Evie can’t help but smile back at her friend, she worries a little that there’s too much love showing through her eyes. Mal rips the spoon from her grasp, scrunches up her nose and sticks her tongue out. Evie wants to die.

Contrary to popular belief, they barely make a mess. A little flour here and there, nothing too extravagant. Evie steals blueberries much to Mal’s feigned chagrin. She tells Evie that she’ll end up in one of the pancakes if she carries on like that; Evie just leans down so she’s eye level with Mal and pops another berry onto her tongue.

She swears she sees Mal falter for a second, swears she sees Mal’s eyes dart down to her lips but it’s gone in an instant and her signature smirk wipes any trace from Mal’s face.

Mal finishes chopping up the strawberries, gathers the slices into her hands and drops them into the batter that Evie’s mixing with a wooden spoon. Evie watches as Mal brings her fingers to her lips and she prays, prays that Mal isn’t about to clean her fingers with her mouth.

But.

Alas.

Evie lucked out ages ago. She should know that by now.

She can’t help but watch and she knows she’s being gross but, okay, she really can’t help it. Mal is literally the prettiest girl Evie has ever seen and now she’s being tortured. Mal’s eyes flicker up to catch Evie’s, she’s almost certain Mal is smirking at her but she’s too busy averting her eyes, blushing and burning up all at the same time. She clears her throat and shoves the bowl of batter across the bench toward Mal.

“Uh, it’s ready.” Could she sound any dumber? Probably. If Mal kept torturing her? Definitely.

“Sweet.” Mal grins and bounces on her toes. She heats the pan and ladles out the batter. Evie lets her take charge; she doesn’t really trust herself around a hot flame right now.

Mal makes two plates of too many pancakes then thrusts a fork up in front of Evie’s face. Mal’s excitement for the food before them makes Evie chuckle. Mal hops up onto the workbench, crosses her legs and rests her plate of pancakes on top of her thighs.

“Come on, E! Get it while it’s hot!” Mal pulls on Evie’s hand until the other girl clambers up onto the bench too, she mirrors Mal’s position then stabs her fork into her pancakes. “Mmmmm.” Mal closes her eyes and hums around the fork in her mouth. “Why have I never thought to put blueberries with strawberries before?”

Warmth spreads through Evie’s chest and up to her cheeks as she chews. Is this the chance? Is this when she’s supposed to tell her best friend that she actually wants to be more than best friends? It sure would ruin the moment.

“At least you know now, huh?” Evie rasps out, glancing down at Mal’s lips completely aware of how unsubtle she’s being.

“Best thing I’ve ever tasted.” Mal says, tilting her head to the side to catch Evie’s eyes. That’s when Evie knows she’s been caught out. “Until now, at least.” Mal says in a tone that makes Evie’s heart beat faster, makes her lose her breath. Mal’s eyes are wide and welcoming and Evie would be stupid not to lean in.

So she does. She unfolds herself, pushes up onto her knees and leans into Mal’s space. She pauses for a second, just an inch from Mal’s lips and opens her eyes. She waits for Mal to pull back, to ask her what she’s doing but she doesn’t and her eyes are staring back. Waiting.

Evie pushes forward and kisses her. It’s soft and gentle and sweet, everything Evie knows Mal to be. She tastes the mix of strawberries and blueberries on Mal’s lips and Evie swears she’ll never forget it. Evie pushes her plate off of her knees so she can shuffle forwards; one hand glides around Mal’s neck while the other rests on one of Mal’s knees, steadying them both. Mal pulls back and for a second Evie panics but then she feels a hand on her hip and fingers in her hair and she’s being tugged back down to Mal’s lips again. She can’t get enough.

When they pull apart Evie forgets where she is for a second. She feels a warm hand on her cheek, feels a thumb running over her skin. When she opens her eyes Mal is looking up at her in awe. Evie sits back on her heels and suddenly feels very shy. Mal seems to catch on and leans forward to tuck blue hair behind Evie’s ear; her hand continues to run down her arm until their fingers tangle together.

“If it took making pancakes for you to kiss me, I would have done it ages ago.” Mal whispers, ducking down to catch Evie’s eyes.

“You could have given me a hint.” Evie quips quietly, still trying to recover.

“You’re so cute.” Mal grins up at Evie and Evie falls harder. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands but she knows she wants to do something. She finds herself leaning into Mal again, rests her hands on Mal’s knees to support herself.

“This means I can kiss you whenever I want now, right?” Evie breathes out, a coy smile painting her lips. Mal tuts and taps her chin thoughtfully but she can’t keep from smiling widely.

“I guess so.” Evie starts to lean in. “I was wrong before.” Mal pulls away just a little, eyes flicker between Evie’s lips and eyes. Evie’s brow furrows in question.

“Those pancakes aren’t the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Mal smirks. Evie kisses her again.