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Chapter Text

Corvus drew the spring activities that lit mountain with warmth and life trying as she might to calm her mind focus on something other than her duties as Consort to Prince Thorin. She laughed quietly at the title as she drew on adding small black marks on her parchment as the people came and went through the inner market. The hum of the people put her mind at ease again for that she is most grateful. The thought of her husband bringing more negative emotions with it than positive. She looked up again and her charcoaled hand paused as she caught sight of her husband brightly smiling at his sister as he helped her carry her purchases. A soft smile appeared on Corvus' face at the sight and she couldn't help but flip the page of her sketch book over to a portrait of Thorin. She gently filled in his smile in more detail and tried to capture the tender and happy smile that shown in his eyes as he spoke with his sister. She drew on trying to capture the twinkle in his eye until she heard her stomach rumble. Looking up to her guards with a small nod, Corvus put her charcoals away and stood from her small perch at the end of one of the many bridges in Erebor to make her way to his apartments.

Entering the apartment, Corvus noticed the sketch she'd made of the mountain the previous week had been taken down. She shrugged lightly as a sting made it's way through her and continued on the kitchen area to prepare dinner. The roast that hung over the open fire crackled and sizzled as it finished cooking. The ale was chilled and placed in mugs on the table along with plates and eating utensils. She hummed a light tune as she went about finishing the meal and the table. It would just be them tonight so she hoped that they could spend some time together. After all it is their five year anniversary. She made all his favorites, from the rib roast to the potato salad, a roasted lamb leg with buttered noodles and for dessert her mother's blueberry tart. She grinned in satisfaction at the set table and the smells of the food she spent the day preparing for her husband. Now all she had to do was freshen up to greet him properly.

She went their bedroom and changed her day dress for an evening one freshening up her perfume lightly as well as her braids, beads and beard before sitting at the table.

Time went by with no sign of her husband. The fire at the fire place died as time crept on and the dinner she had put her heart into for her husband remained untouched. With a sigh Corvus went to the balcony and saw that the moon was high...midnight. It was midnight and her husband had not come home. Her hazel eyes shimmered as she put away the food to be eaten the next day and cleaned the table as well as empty the mugs of now wasted ale. Kitchen and dinning room clean and cleared, she made her way to the bedroom again where she changed out of her dress into her sleeping shift and let down her hair. She considered staying up to wait for him but experience has taught her that waiting for him does nothing for his temper.

Corvus blew off the candle and settled into her side of the bed. It turned out she didn't hav much to wait for Thorin. The door to their rooms opened and closed as he made his way to their room. The door to their rooms opened and closed, Thorin made his way through the room preparing himself for bed.

She was going to say goodnight to him but then the smell of the tavern and perfume hit her nose. 

Her body went cold and sleep evaded her for the rest of the night. 

Corvus shook off the vestiges of her exhaustion and got out of bed before Thorin woke up. Dress on, hair and beard braided and beaded, Corvus made herself a small breakfast and and a heady one for Thorin's hangover and sat at the table with her sketch pad to wait. Not much later, Thorin stumbled into the dinning room some how fully (properly) dressed and beard braided. 

"Morning," he grumbled as he sat down.

"Morning highness," Corvus said quietly.

Thorin ate the food quietly as Corvus drew. 

The quiet was warm despite the years Corvus spent under the chill of his glare and neglect. Years of women coming in and out of what is his apartment where she so happens to reside in. Reside...not live. She's a literal bed warmer to him. She fell hard for him during the time he courted her. He was so gentle and interested borderline loving to her during that period. So much so that when his warmth and care turned winter cold and his love and interest turned to annoyance. The first time he brought a woman home she nearly didn't want to believe it but the flowery smell of colognes and perfumes on the bed sheets were unmistakable. From then on she locked her emotions for him away within her heart...as much as she could anyway.

"How–uh...how are you?" he asked her uncertainly.

Corvus looked up at him in shock but retained her neutral expression and asked, "I'm fine thank you...you?"

"I've been better," he answered honestly rubbing his head.

She gave a hum and went back to her drawing.

"I was wondering..." he started again, "If you were free for a stroll this afternoon?"

Corvus' heart leaped at in hope but she pushed it down with the thought, 'It does no one any favors to be hopeful when there will only be heartbreak in the end.'

"A stroll your Highness–" 

"Thorin," he interruped gently, "Thorin, please."

Her heart nearly burst at this but again she pushed the hope down. 

'This is the ale taking...he's still drunk,' she thought as renewed hurt ran through her as the doubt flew through her, 'Its just another game.'

She gave him small nod but knew she couldn't fall into his trap.

"And yes...a stroll. About the market places of Erebor and Dale perhaps?" he asked looking at her hopefully.

"His Highness is most kind. Where shall we meet?" she said levelly. 

He looked almost disappointed when you didn't address him by his given name but you couldn't afford to when he has hurt you so much in the past.

"Shall we meet back here for luncheon then go after?" He asked.

She nods and continues on sketching bewildered at what had just transpired.

He continues on chatting at her and her giving him sometimes one worded answers bewildered at the turn of events. 

The morning went on like that him talking to her as if they have been happily married for over a century when in truth Corvus found her One in him and he had done nothing but reject her advances whenever she got the courage to do something.

Breakfast finished, Thorin announces he has to go to a meeting with his father about the now worsening sickness of his grandfather.

Corvus nodded as she stood to clear the dishes and gasped when Thorin placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Soon after he leaves, Frerin and Dwalin walk in content expressions going serious as they see her blankly staring at the wall as she washes the morning plates.

"Corvus," Frerin calls to her worried as the boys go to each side of her.

She snaps out to see the boys, "Oh, good morning."

"Did something happen lass?" Dwalin asks still worried, "Did he do somethin' to ya?"

Corvus shrugs not knowing what's happened to Thorin to change as he did.

"It's whether or not he did something Dwalin, it's what he didn't do," she says as she finishes the washing.

"What do you mean?" Frerin asks bewildered.

"As you know yesterday was our five year anniversary, I made dinner but he came home late smelling of ale and women's perfume and figured he spent the night with another dam," She said her voice getting thick despite her locking away her feelings for him, "Then this morning he comes out and as we're eating breakfast he spoke to me in a respectfully kind manner. Asked me to go for a walk with him after midday meal through the markets of Erebor and Dale and kept on speaking to me, well more at me than anything, as if we have been the most in love couple to be seen in all of Arda! Then he presses a kiss to my forehead before he leaves to meet with Thrain concerning his Majesty's illness." 

Tears of frustration fell from her eyes not knowing what to do or how to take it in.

"He wasn't with any dam last night," Dwalin said face going red.

"What do you mean?" Corvus asks.

"He was with my sister..." Frerin adds going red as well, "He...Thorin is planning something. For you and for him."

Corvus felt like crying.

"Its nothing bad I promise!" Both dwarrow sputtered together.

"Honest sister he's...he's realized how badly he's treated you," Frerin said feeling for his sister in law.

"Mahal and Yvanna be blessed for that," she said sarcastically not believing for a second.

"He's trying to find a way to apologize," Dwalin said gruffly.

"For what exactly!? The verbal abuse? The women? The rejection!? Do you even know what it's like for you to have your One at arm's reach in your bed but not being able to touch them because they want nothing to do with you or pull away from you in disgust when you try to make yourself desirable for them!? To smell dam after dam on him because he doesn't desire you the way you do them! I came in the yesterday to find one of my sketches gone! He must have taken it down for something one of his women gave him!" she exploded.

Both dwarrow sat there stunned to silence as she went on, "I just got used to being a ghost fixed in his world. Floating through his life shinning his armor, keeping his swords sharp and battle ready, three meals a day and a warm home to come to. Please don't get my hopes up for nothing. I don't want to get hopes up to find that heartbreak is at the end of it. Because I honestly do not know if I can survive a second heartbreak."

With that in the open Corvus fell against Frerin violent sobs shaking her frame.

Neither dwarf knew that she felt this alone within her own marriage. Neither knew the extent of Thorin's neglect of his one until now. And neither knew how to help to at least get her to open up to him even if Mahal knows he doesn't deserve it.

Unbeknownst to them though, a tearful Thorin stood outside the doors to their apartment having heard all his wife had said. He then vowed that he would do all in his power to do right by her even if it cost him his very life.

Chapter Text

Corvus managed to pull herself together and wash her face. 

Coming out of the bedroom to the front she saw a red faced Dwalin berating a pale faced Thorin with Frerin in the middle. If she didn’t feel they way she did Corvus would have found the whole situation funny. After all the three were thick as thieves. Giving herself a small shake, Corvus grabbed her cloak, drawing materials and a basket and slipped through the quarreling trio to the market. 

In the market, Corvus bought what little they needed on their rooms in terms of food and drink and decided to pass through the bookshop. She hated to admit it at times but the men in her books seemed to be the ones that were giving her at least some attention when she had the craving to be saved by some knight in armour or to be wooed like a common damsel by a lad who oozed love and adoration towards his chosen intended. She chuckled breathily as she shook her head at the notion, she was passed the age to be yearning such things. She is a Prince's consort whether she likes it or not and even if she didn't there isn't much she can do about it.

"Ello m'lady," Greybeard said with a bow, "How might I be of service?"

Corvus grinned at the elderly dwarf with a smile, "Just looking around today Jord."

Jord nodded with a kind grin and let the woman to her devises knowing how her mind and heart worked when she was in need of some reading material.

Corvus looked around and saw what she was looking for for a change and then some. Going to the front to pay Jord shakes his head.

"Why ever not?" she asked with a furrowed brow. She had always paid for her things despite having the royal account at her disposal why would Jord suddenly not take the payment?

"Your purchase payment has already been covered," he said with a knowing glint in his eye.

"By whom?" she asked having an idea of who payed for her purchases.

"He didn't say, all he said was that any and all purchases done by her highness were to be run through the account attached to her title," he said with a slight bow.

Corvus nodded at the older man and left with a grin not knowing how to feel of her husband wanting to be involved in her life at all even if its just to include her in the family account.

Going back to his rooms she decided on on her customary greeting and settling in bed for a much needed nap. 

As she entered she was greeted with the dining room being filled with her favorite foods and drink a proud looking Thorin standing on the side of what would be her chair.

"Welcome home amrâlimê," he said with a soft grin on his handsome features.

'Amrâlimê,' she thought blankly, 'he called me amrâlimê and called this...home.'

Corvus resisted the urge to jump of the nearest precipice to wake from what she believes to be a dream. An awful...wonderful dream.

"Good afternoon your highness," she said keeping her voice civil but closed to the turmoil in her heart.

She saw Thorin's brow furrow at his title on her lips.

"I thought we'd agreed to call each other by our given names," he said quietly.

'We did...when we were courting and my prince was a living breathing being born of the fairytales I seem to immerse myself in,'  She thought shaking her head away from the promise filled memories that once held promise.

"Are you alright amrâlimê?" he asked approaching her concern evident in his voice.

She resisted the urge to flinch when his hand came to contact with her cheek.

"I'm alright you hi-Thorin," She said with a small hopefully easing grin, "Must be in need of some air."

"We could go on that walk now if you like?" he asked looking every bit the hopeful puppy she remembers when they started courting.

She really didn't want to go on this farce of a walk but decided to go along with it if only to continue the front they have even if most of the mountain knows he spends more than his fair share of nights in taverns with dams. 

She nodded with a small grin and followed him to the door her drawing materials carefully placed in a bag for her to carry. She went to reach for her cloak but found it gone and she was met with a robe consisting of his house colors.

"May I?" he asked opening the cloak for her.

She gave a quiet nod and allowed him to put the cloak on her for her to tie.

He offered her his arm and together they made their way through the market to the front farmlands of Erebor and near Dale.

Thorin spoke softly to her of the changes and improvements he and his father are working on to not only better the farmlands but also the lives of the miners within the mountain and how his grandfather was not in agreement with how much of their wealth they are "giving away" for thing that did not need immediate attention. 

She wanted to scoff at a lot of what he was saying but held her tongue remembering the rebuke she received from him for voicing her opinions on a similar topic. Though she has half an ear on what she is saying, her mind was doing its hardest to run through their courtship years as if happiness followed said suit. She really couldn't help it either! Everywhere she looked she could see him giving her a fruit or showing her the stables filled with rams and ponies. Or a game stall in Dale where he promised to win her a price (which he did and she kept hidden within her dresses) and sweet treats and laughs that would follow. Then she looked on to where the decorations for the spring festival were being set up for those of Dale as well as Erebor and tears came unwanted to her eyes as she saw the ghost of a happy dam besotted with the Darrow that was twirling her all over the dance floor both both figures with twin bright and happy smiles and laughs. She looked a sad grin on her face until the ghosts in her eyes disappeared.

"...Frerin insists that we all go on holiday and relax. Are you alright amrâlimê?" he asked as he noticed the tears shining in her eyes.

"Oh...its nothing, holiday you say?" she said pushing her tears down until she found a moment to be alone.

Thorin saw the shine of what he knows to be tears and the guilt still ate at him. He glimpsed at what he believed to be what had caused her tears to be met with the decorations of the spring festival, 'Oh Mahal what have I done,' he thought as he recalled their courtship years.

"Y-Yes, holiday," he continued as he forced them to continue on with their stroll.

Eventually they returned to their rooms where Thorin reheated some of the food and put the rest away fort the next day.

Since their walk Thorin had noticed the blank look in his wife's face and the emptiness that is now settled into her once bright lively eyes, "Are you not hungry?"

Corvus looked up to him and gave a small nod as she put some food on her plate and forced herself to eat at least half of what she had served herself.

Thorin kept a subtle eye on her as she ate noting how (by dwarf standards) she had barely eaten anything.

Corvus cleared her throat and drank some of the fruit juice in her goblet before saying, "I think I'll retire for the evening."

He stood to help her from her seat only to find her halfway to the bedroom.

Corvus went about taking off her clothing like the dead possessed and made her way to the bathroom for a soak in the tub.

The steam from the water filled the room as the tub filled with water. Corvus absentmindedly brushed her hair as it finished filling dropping her bathing oils, soaps and scents into the water as she went. That finished she sank into the warm/hot water with a sigh and as was bound to happen the tears from earlier came with a vengeance. The repressed memories, the what ifs and this new turn from Thorin had her more than hurt and confused. Sobs wrecked her frame as she cried as quietly as she could. 

Outside the door to the bathroom stood a somber and anguished Thorin. He wanted to burst into the room and console his wife and be the firm foundation he promised her he'd be when they wed. He wanted to apologize and beg her forgiveness for not only his transgressions but for the manner in which he has treated her through out their marriage. But he knew that gaining and earning her trust and forgiveness was going to take time. He also knew that there was a slim chance of her ever forgiving enough to give him, them, a second chance. He went to move away from the door when a voice from behind the door stunned him.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Tears fell from his eyes at the pain that laced the tendrils of her sweet voice. Pain he had caused...

0/0/0/0

In bed, Corvus rolled her onto her side and pulled her furs tightly around her subconsciously looking for comfort she'd not find in the arms for her husband. 

Meanwhile Thorin yearned to pull her to his chest and give her the comfort she so sorely needed and was looking for so desperately. He noticed how she seemed to shrink into herself as if she were trying to take as little space as she could. 

'How come I never noticed this before?' he thought when what she had said came back to him. He had brutally rejected her advances...

Sleep came uneasy for Corvus but when it did Thorin dared to reach for her and placed his hand on her waist as she slept for the first time in five years giving her comfort and warmth even if she'd never know.

Chapter Text

The following morning, Corvus awoke to a warm hand on her waist. She grinned to herself dazedly and put her hand atop the warmth before coming to the slow realization that the hand on her waist belongs to her husband. Drawing a deep breath, she moved his hand onto the bed and as she did every morning went about her day. She didn't ignore the fact that she woke up with his hand at her waist, but that didn't mean she wasn't suspicious of why she woke up the way she did. She was always so careful to not sleep in his space, to make herself as small as possible as to not cause him any more problems or be anymore of a burden to him than she already was.  

She made her way around the bedroom as quietly as she could as she changed into her clothing for the day and braided her hair and beard. She's spending the day with the Queen Frís and Princess Fren so there wasn't going to be a point in the day where she was going to be with his highness. She doesn't think she can handle anymore surprises on his end after the turn of events he sprung on her these past couple of days.

She was about to go to the kitchen when she heard a gruff voice say, "You're up early."

She gave a blank grin, a small curtsey and said, "Good morning highness."

Thorin looked on with a furrowed brow at his title again on her lips and the blankness of her features and couldn't help be reminded of the day before. Compared to yesterday, she looked empty...desolate of all life.

"Why up so early amrâlimê?" he asked softly.

"Oh just needed to set breakfast out is all," she said with an empty smile.

"The servants can do that you know," he said not unkindly.

She rose a brow at that not expecting that to be his answers.

"We could always have a lie in?" he asked knowing that such a question is daring in of itself with how things between them are currently.

"A lie in highness?" she asked in shock.

"Yes," he said simply.

"If you so wish it," she said a bit in shock that he should ask such a thing. The question now is why is he asking such thing.

He pulled the furs open invitingly but not in any sexual way.

She drew a breath and went behind the barely used changing screen to change out of her dress and brush out her braids and beard.

'She should have no qualms in changing in front of her husband,' he thought as bile burned in his belly.

She made her way back to bed hastily yet stiffly not knowing what his plan is or what game he wished to play with her. She settled in bed once again in her side of the bed as small as she could make herself allowing him the comfort of his bed.

Thorin said nothing as he quietly observed her.

He was slow and calculating of his movements as he moved his free arm to her and froze when she flinched.

"May I?" he asked his voice sad.

She gave up...he is her one and as much as she wants to hate him she can't. With one last prayer to Mahal and his wife she took his hand and pressed it to her cheek.

Chapter Text

Corvus lay there trying as much as she could to keep from sinking into his touch. Her current position was not helping any, if she did say so herself.

The warmth of the bed seeped into her bones drawing her deeper into the bed and its dresses, the warmth and feel of his hand on her cheek and the tenderness in his eyes made it seem as if they were a real couple, who had just made passionate yet tender love to each other the night before and into dawn. It made it seem as if there was something real between them at all. Corvus tried as she might to fall down that rabbit hole once again finding it to be harder than she thought it would be to keep him at a distance. 

Thorin ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek bone tenderly marveling at the softness of her skin and beard. Admiring how angular, for dwarrowdam, her features are and how her eyes shown bright like the gems they mine for in Erebor. Fire red hair that hangs in ringlets and dances like fire in when moved by air when out of it’s confines. She is truly a treasure to behold...a treasure that should be taken care of as well. He withheld the urge to sigh in disappointment in himself at the further realization that he had not taken care of her at all as he had promised on the day they said their vows, the day of their abkâl five years before hand.

At this realization he resisted the strong urge to groan. He had made a disaster out of their fifth anniversary! He had shamed her with his behavior throughout their marriage. He had–

“Highness?” A tentative voice called him out from his inner self-deprecating monologue. 

Thorin removed his hand from her cheek and pulled her left hand into his tenderly holding it in his grasp, “Yes?”

”Is there a reason why we are having this...lie in?” She asked uncertainty coloring her even toned voice. 

He looked outright alarmed.

”It’s just...we don’t usually do this and it seemed odd to be doing it now,” she said still uncertain her gaze looking at her hand in his. 

“Do I need a reason to spend time with my Queen?” He asked clearly still on shock. 

She gave a shrug and slid her hand out of his before leaving the bed to re-dress before making her way out of the room to make breakfast as she has always done for them. 

The busy work of preparing the ingredients, cooking them and plating them kept her hands busy and gave her mind something to think about other than Thorin’s still considerably odd behavior. What could be happening to him to have made him see her again? Did something happen? Is one of his mistresses expecting? 

‘Could it be me?’ She asked herself. 

“Corvus?” Thorin called as he walked into the kitchen. 

She was lost to the world as she stirred what were quickly turning into overcooked eggs. 

Thorin eased himself onto his knees beside her where she was cooking a pan of scrambled eggs over a grate and carefully removed the spoon from her hand startling her and said pan from the grate. 

She looked to him uncertainly but let him set the pan aside and help her to her seat...beside him. 

‘Something drastic will need to take place if I am to earn her trust and love back...’ he thought as he served their plates.