Work Text:
"Akira, I think it's time for you to get a job."
Akira looked at the clock.
"No it's not, It's Three Thirty."
Akira then when back to skating in the coffee shop. Hang on my dog wants to go outside. He was using heelies, the coolest fucking heelies. They got like. fuckin jet engines and shit on them. Rad. Even more rad considering the government banned them. Nobody stops Akira baby.
Except capitalism. That was his enemy. Anyone with a brain agreed that captialism is terrible. To survive, one needs money. Sadly, mysterious man who's name I can't think of right now had a point that he needed a job. But he didn't want to work, he wanted to "work"; to be freed from the hells of working. Above all, he wanted to finish his Yankee candle collection as. He Loved Yankee Candles. It brought him back to the days of the Wild West. Yeehaw partner!
One place.
There was one place a conniving little bastard like himself could work, and be free like that.
Hot Topic Trademark.
Everything about that place made him feel alive. Sure, he wasn't out of his emo phase yet, so perhaps that was too be expected, but he loved being emo! If you don't like being emo get da fuq out. Stop reading this fanfic. It it written by emos. if I find out you do not like being emo and are reading this fanfic, I will file a restraining order against you. Do Not Underestimate me. You Cannot make me afraid. I Am Dirt, then I am powerful. If you Appreciate emos whilist not being one, you can stay, but You're on Think Fucking Ice.
He used the rockets to leave the coffee shop, and fly over to the nearest hot topic trademark.
"Oh baybe it's Akira." Everyone fainted, and he instantly got the job. Mastermind.
"Ok Akira," The Hot Topic Manager said, unaffected by. He emitted powerful emo energies, ones that made him... afraid. He was a cloaked figure, no face. But the emo energies were too powerful. "Alright, what's your name."
"Akir--"
"No. All hot topic employees must Have a Name."
Wait, people DIDNT name their children "XxX_Bloody_Soul_XxX"? Akira figured that was a perfectly good name for a child. Make the other parents scared. Step up their Name game. People Love those.
"Ren Amamiya"
"Wow what a great name! =)
"I know it's real original. If someone steals it I'm sueing for copyright. I hope it isn't a fuckhole company with horrible writing that actively goes against the themes of their games!"
"Anyways you shit here and want. I ppay you Many Dollars an Hour."
Day one and fire would've started, were it not for Ren's skills.
Some emo tried summoning satan, but knocked a candle over. Akira then quickly put on Naruto: Sad. Everyone in the entire mall creid, putting out the fire. They then summoned satan without fire. Partyyyyy Wooo!!!!
He loved hot topic. He would often sleep in hot topic. He stayed there for days. Hot topic.
Day Sixty Nine of Hot topic. AKira realized the only Yankee candle store was shutting down. No. Not the Western Memories. Ren then merged with the store, creating Hot Topic Yankee Candle. No Longer, was it hot topic. He was the manager, he does things. He made a cnald e based off of Satan's Smell. Ren was hapy.
Day 420.
"Ren I've Had enough you must die."
"no"
"YOU ANT TAKE ME!!!!"
"YES I AN"
The hooded manager ripped off the cloak. It was himself!!
"I AM AKIRA!!! ALSO YOURSELF. THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?????"
"No you're not! I'm Ren now. I have become one with the Hot Topic Yankee Candle."
Akira, his former self, then vanished; not with a bang, but with a murmur. For Ren was become one with the Hot Topic Yankee Candle, a powerful force to be reckoned with. Some, perhaps found the obession to be odd, but it was a strong, and passionate one at that.
No human being on earth loved Yankee Candle, and the memories of the times from the Wild West is brought, and Hot Topic, the emo conglomerate, the place where he could indeed, be true to himself, outside of the phantom thieves.
It's the kind of love that's far too passionate for our world.
That's why he's a fictional character.