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1. Kakuzu forgets his ring more often than Hidan expects, and he gets used to forcing it onto his partner’s finger mid-journey because the Leader goes fucking insane if they forget that thing and it’s a pain, seriously.
2. In another world, another timeline, Kakuzu thinks he managed to kill Hashirama and lived and died a hero.
3. When he realises Hidan’s basically immortal, Kakuzu remembers snake eyes and a low hiss of curiosity at his Earth Grudge Fear.
4. Once, Kakuzu held a burning curiosity to see inside the box Hidan carries everywhere, until the day someone else opened it and found their eyes ripped from their sockets by some invisible hand.
5. They end up in Waterfall due to Hidan’s terrible navigation and decide not to run, but to kill, and it’s the first time in years that Kakuzu is glad for a partner.
6. If he uses enough chakra and combines his masks just right, Kakuzu can create a hurricane that rivals the destruction of a bijuu.
7. If they’re going to fly, they’re going to do it together and be fucking fantastic at it - like everything else.
8. Hidan hates the cold, and the hot, and the wet and the dry and basically everything (and it’s why Kakuzu first drills a hole through his ribcage in bilnd anger).
9. When Kakuzu sees red, Hidan cackles in masochistic glee and pushes his partner into mutilating him.
10. Hidan drinks frequently and hard, hoping that his immortality has a loophole somewhere.
11. It surprises Hidan that Kakuzu takes New Year so seriously; that he actually cares about being up for midnight and fucking celebrates this shit like he hasn’t been crawling around the earth for four times as long as Hidan’s been fucking alive.
12. Sometimes it’s tempting for Hidan to just stop killing altogether and hope he dies, but his religion means more to him than his death.
13. Any peaceful view is quickly ruined by the flash of Hidan’s silver hair.
14. Neither of them are musicians, their hands and mouths designed for destruction and hate rather than the lightness of sound and song, but Kakuzu tinkers with strings and plucks out taut notes anyway.
15. When Hidan first meets Kakuzu, he’s wearing silk trousers he claims to have grabbed off someone he fought on his way here and the question about why remains unanswered to this day.
16. Their first undercover mission for Akatsuki involves Hidan trying not to swear, so naturally, Kakuzu plans for the inevitable failure.
17. After their adventures in Waterfall, Kakuzu reluctantly promises that he owes Hidan one.
18. Hidan laughs when he hears Kakuzu dreaming - the fucker is so loud and always counts his money.
19. One of Hidan’s rituals involves lighting candles and burning blood - Kakuzu has counted the burning of five inns, seven cloaks, and a very unforunate spy.
20. Kakuzu is the talented one, smarter, faster, better; Hidan’s just the dumb muscle, immovable, indestructable, volcanic in his rage.
21. Silence happens so rarely with Hidan as his partner that when it does, Kakuzu feels uncomfortable.
22. They travel the breadth of the continent, shouts and insults alerting everyone to their movements.
23. Somehow, it doesn’t surprise Kakuzu that Hidan’s elemental alignment is fire.
24. Kakuzu knows that destroying a building takes nothing more than a punch and the knowledge of where it’s weakest.
25. The first time Kakuzu pulls off his mask in front of Hidan, his partner gags and shouts “What the fuck is that?!”
26. Winters in the north of the Shinobi continent are harsh and fragile, ice decieving them both on their lake crossing, cracking beneath their feet, leaving Hidan with a bitch of a cold and Kakuzu two hearts short.
27. The scents of autumn make them both antsy - where Hidan remembers and craves massacres, Kakuzu molts and weaves through the trees, burning down forests with ease.
28. Hidan rages at everything, but the screams when he thinks Kakuzu’s forgotten him in the Nara’s forest are so loud they spook the deer 10 feet above him.
29. Hidan could have been a dancer in another world, another life where he isn’t so fundamentally fucked up.
30. So much of his body is made up of Kakuzu’s freaky thread things that Hidan can sense the man’s presence and abscence.
31. Jashin asks him to destroy everything as a demonstration of loyality, but there are some things that even Hidan holds as off-limits for his God.
32. The strangest thought crosses Kakuzu’s mind as Kakashi summons Raikiri - they never got to say goodbye to one another.
33. Kakuzu has been beyond the borders of the continent and explored every corner of the world, but still he finds himself most awed by the continent of Shinobi.
34. There’s a formal code in Akatsuki, but Hidan ignores it - even seems to go out of his way to break it.
35. After their winter in the north, Kakuzu falls back on the little first aid he knows to shut up Hidan’s whining over the fever - but killing him was a much quicker solution.
36. It takes three hours for Kakuzu to laugh at Hidan and three years for him to laugh with Hidan, a fact which Hidan remembers to this day.
37. The only lie Hidan regrets telling is the one where he says he doesn’t need Kakuzu’s help against Kisame - the resulting beatdown hurt like hell.
38. “What do we need luck for, we’re gonna live forever,” laughs Hidan as a street peddler tries to sell them charms.
39. Hidan will not allow this heathen to break him - as if he could, the fucking child - and send him into the ground like compost: he will not be overwhelmed, even alone (because who the fuck do they think he is, seriously?)
40. Kakuzu tries to pass on strategies with some amount of discreetness, but Hidan never knew how to whisper.
41. Neither of them like to wait; Hidan bounces on the balls of his feet and swears bloody vengeance on the bounty holding them up, while Kakuzu glares murder from the sidelines and devises strategies for Hidan’s permanent immobility.
42. Their first conversation turns to an argument in under five minutes, and every conversation since has followed suit.
43. When he gets out of this fucking hole, he’s not stopping his search until he’s found Kakuzu and sliced him into fucking pieces for leaving.
44. When he turns 65, Kakuzu drinks himself into oblivion because of all the fucking optimists.
45. Hidan doesn’t believe in astrology, it’s bullshit by weak-minded people who need excuses for their madness, but he knows astronomy intimately; every star and speck in the sky has a name and a meaning, provided by God.
46. They’ve fucked with everything else in the world - the concept of death, of the limits of the human body - so the fact that Kakuzu’s hearts can defy gravity is nothing.
47. Though they’re always off-track, distracted by bounties and sacrifices and fucking and arguments and killing, when they put their minds to a thing they’re faster than anyone else.
48. Death doesn’t scare him as much as Hidan thinks - he’s been to all ends of the unknown, so what difference is the Pure World?
49. They both hide things from each other until the first time Kakuzu loses a heart and Hidan loses his head; the resulting conversation remains their only real attempt to delve into the locked secrets of each other.
50. The first time Kakuzu attacks Hidan, Hidan stops breathing because his new partner shows no mercy and truly seems to enjoy tearing him limb from limb.