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It felt weird not being with Lily. Since he’d known her-- well seen her-- his goal had been to date her and stay that way. It didn’t really matter that he’d been eleven at the time, he had stuck with it for years without any self-reflection.
They’d dated. And… that was it. There were dates with little emotion behind them, and sometimes it was awkward being barely friends going on dates. Lily had spent years openly disliking him and how he acted, so when moods were just so, they spent more time trying not to yell at each other than enjoying their time together.
One month and one little conversation later, they broke up. James was as into their relationship as Lily was, and this was the only conclusion that didn’t end with both of them being miserable.
“You broke up?” Sirius repeated, looking shocked but James couldn’t conceive why he would be.
“Er, yeah? C’mon Sirius, it’s not like this came out of nowhere.”
“Yes it is!”
“No it’s not,” Remus said.
“It’s really not,” Peter added.
Sirius glared at them. “Can’t you study somewhere else?”
“Not as easily as you and James could move somewhere else to talk,” Remus said, not looking up from his parchment.
“Fine.” He stood up and grabbed James’s arm, leading him out of the library. “Now. What? I thought you wanted to marry her.”
James stared at him. “Sirius I said that when I was twelve.”
“Yes, and?”
James rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe he had to spell this out for Sirius. “And I’m not a buggering idiot anymore. I wanted to marry her because she was pretty and had red hair, not because of anything else.”
“What do you mean ‘anything else’? It’s as good a reason as any.”
“Not to date someone, and certainly not to marry them! Merlin, Sirius, you should love everything about someone you want to marry.”
“Like what?” he scoffed.
“Like how clingy they are when they sleep, or how grumpy they are in the morning, or the way they complain about their hair not cooperating, or,” James continued on, listing everything he could think of, and ending it with, “Or that smile they get after a prank gone right, or the way they act like a damn puppy all the time!”
“You’re just describing me, James, that doesn’t count as ‘what you should love about your spouse’.”
James blinked. “What.”
“You’re describing me!” Sirius repeated. “You’re not doing a very good job of selling your point, you know, if you’re just talking about your best mate and not your partner.”
“I love you,” James said, half asking, half saying what was on his mind.
“O...kay. Still not helping your point there, Jamie.”
“No, I mean- I love you. Bugger, why are we not dating? We should be dating, that’s my new point, and you already have all the proof.”
“That-” Sirius spluttered, looking and sounding absolutely bewildered, “that doesn’t count, you were trying to prove something else.”
“Are you saying I’m wrong?”
“Well no--”
“Then what does it matter? Go on a date with me.”
Sirius gave him a flat look. “I hate you.”
“Aw, c’mon. It’ll be fun.”
He rolled his eyes, but wasn’t doing a good job of hiding his happiness. “Fine, but if Lily finds out you’re rebounding with me, you have to deal with it.”
“I’m not rebounding with you.”
“You broke up with Lily earlier today, and immediately came to me and got a date,” Sirius argued. “By definition, that would make me a rebound.”
“Okay,” James said slowly, “but Lily was more like an interim relationship while I was unknowingly pining after you, so of anybody, she’s the one who’s been mistreated here.”
“You just can’t let me have anything, can you?”
“You can have me!” James offered teasingly with a wide grin.
Sirius sighed but accepted the kiss to his cheek. “I can’t believe I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life.”