Work Text:
They used to bike together.
Used to.
No one talks about it, the stagnant air that makes everyone just that slightly more cautious of their words and actions. It's died overtime, leaving small talk as what remains.
Namjoon grew close to Seokjin, to Yoongi, to Hoseok. Taehyung found comfort with Jimin and with Jungkook, and they stayed with their clique, both convincing themselves they'd be happy.
And they are, they really are. Making music with Yoongi is happiness, writing with Hoseok is happiness, eating with Jin is happiness, playing video games with Jimin is happiness, pranking everyone with Jungkook is happiness, and laughing with them all is happiness.
But it's not the same happiness he'd felt, wind in his hair, ringing his bell, peddling pass the river, the buildings, speeding past the other boy, getting taken over by.
They both miss it.
None of them know how exactly it happened, how frequent rides together, high on adrenaline, turned into days of work and sleep, eat and repeat. It happens, it's forgotten, and never brought up since, at least, not after the first time.
"Hyung! Are you done? Let's go out! A bunch of people are walking their dogs at this time! " Taehyung had exclaimed, barging into the studio at seven in the evening. He'd finished everything he had to, and took the chance to possibly get some alone time with his leader. Unfortunately, he came in at the worst possible time, right as Namjoon had almost finished a recording.
"Taehyung, I was almost done... I'll see if we can go later." Namjoon sighed, immediately covering it with a weary smile, trying to not disappoint the younger. Unlike Namjoon, Taehyung didn't try to hide his pain, his face falling, promptly turning around and closing the door after a soft, "Okay, hyung."
Namjoon felt terrible after, he never got to finish that recording or any more work after that, mentally punching himself for having dismissed the boy so easily. It wasn't necessarily his fault, it was his fourth re-recording and the last time he ate was possibly more than eight hours ago. Still, it didn't give him a right to treat his boy... friend? Friend. That way.
Taehyung had returned to his room, empty without Namjoon there, and opted for an app game for the rest of the night. It wouldn't make much difference even if the older was there. The most said between them has always been a short greeting anyway.
Taehyung never asked again.
In front of a camera, they knew how to react. How to give the fans what they want, how to reply to each other with certain words and gestures to excite fans, how to appease the camera.
The act drops the second the camera shuts off, and where once stands Leader mode Namjoon sharing his experience with the members, now stood a quiet, unbothered man who takes his place at the table, finishing his food and slipping away before anyone could speak.
"Hyungieee! Let's take a photo! So when we get our first daesang, we'll come back here and retake it, and see the difference!" was Taehyung's suggestion, braking and slinging his leg back to stand on land, before taking out his phone. Namjoon smiled at him, following his actions and getting off his own bike once he had caught up.
"Tae Tae ah, of course there'll be a difference. This river may not even be here anymore. Plus, why do you think we'll definitely get a daesang? We've yet to debut!" He jokes, a small worry at the back of his head. Really, he'd convinced himself to not think that far ahead. Even if they're scheduled to debut, no one knows how far they would make it anyway. It's better to not get one's hopes up.
"We will! Hyung writes the absolute best music! We'll make it big!! " and this, this is why he finds himself unable to stop smiling. Wrapping the young vocalist in a hug as he attempts to snap a photo, one that's actually high quality and possibly worth posting in the future. Namjoon ruffles his hair, feeling his worries dispersing, instead the space fills with genuine love and care for the other boy. He leans down and kisses his cheek just as the other snaps the photo, perfect.
They'd never labelled themselves, never confessed, but it never felt like they had to. The endless care the two had for each other, everyone was familiar with it by the time they debuted.
It was also when they debuted, that feeling stopped.
On his own bed, away from the members, Namjoon groans into his hands. After all these years, he finds himself reviewing everything. How he and his new roommate would spend hours out with their bikes, touring everywhere. Even returning to places they've been doesn't die, nothing gets boring with Taehyung. They'd been so, so close, and Namjoon could easily say his love for the younger had so rapidly exceeded one shown for a friend. It never ever hit him how much could change once they'd properly debuted.
"Tae Tae, where are you going?" Namjoon asked, amused. He'd been watching Taehyung fuss with his small sling bag and basically flipping over the whole place, before pushing out an old bike and frantically pumping its tires full. Taehyung looked up at his hyung comedically, huffing a puff of air before replying.
"I'm going biking! Seoul is so, so cool!" Taehyung's excitement was contagious, the young boy coming from Daegu and not having any clue of what awaits him, it made Namjoon's heart swell.
"Mind if I join?"
If Namjoon had thought Taehyung couldn't smile any wider, he had thought wrong. Taehyung's beam of that boxy smile, the same one that makes Namjoon wish he could freeze time and stay forever in that moment. He smiled back, unplugging his earpieces and exiting the room to get his own bike.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be. That's what Namjoon's convinced himself, seeming as though everything seemed so uncoincidental. Maybe the world enjoyed fucking with him like this, giving him Taehyung, letting him love him wholeheartedly, and then just as he thought they could rule the world together, ripped him away.
Or maybe it's just the price to pay, they're so successful right now, surely there was a cost.
xx December 2012
[Tae Tae <3]
I just got my very first schedule hyung!
I'm a vocalist...
D: I know how much you wanted to be a rapper
Don't worry! You'll still do great!!
I bet you're put as a rapper aren't you?
They already chose my stage name as Rap Monster, it would make sense y'know
Oh well!! Do we have anything together?
Some mass recordings with the whole group, that's about it
I don't even get to work with you alone?
Disappointing!!
We'll have time for ourselves soon, Tae <3
We better!
xx January 2013
[Tae Tae <3]
Hyungie <3
Haha silly Tae
I'm working with Yoongi hyung, but what's up?
Nothing!! Can't I miss my favourite hyung?
Of course you can, but I really need to focus!
Hoseok hyung is wearing a spiked mask for a reason!!
He's so cute when he's not acting like a bad ass though!
What about me D:
You're the cutest!
I'll stop disturbing you know, work hard!!
I miss you too, Tae <3
xx July 2013
[Tae Tae <3]
Can't they at least put us in one slot together?
Yeah! I need to report that!
It's been months and we're never put alone!
They probably know we'd never get anything done!!
Thats not true! Im very hard working you know
I know <3
Recording with Jungkookie soon, you?
Reviewing tracks with Jin hyung
Goodluck on that <3
You too <3
xx November 2013
[Tae Tae <3]
You free for lunch?
Sorry Tae, eating with Hoseok today
We have to finish work
Don't apologise, I get it!
<3
<3
xx March 2014
[Tae Tae <3]
You did great for the MV shooting!
You too!!!
Dinner?
Can't, already promised Jiminie
You know how he gets, he's so cute
Haha, okay
Have fun!! <3
xx July 2014
[Tae]
Hyung, are you tired?
Of course I am, everything's tiring
But we're making it aren't we?
Of course we are
xx April 2015
[Tae]
Do you wanna hear about today's choreography session?
Of course!!!!
Okay so you know that step Hoseok hyung came up with but had no idea what to use it for?
Hyung?
Hyungie????
You're probably busy, sorry
xx June 2015
[Tae]
Seokjin hyung's improving so much quicker than I am
When will I be as good as all of you?
Hyung you dance amazingly!!!
Have you seen Hobi? Jiminie? Kook? Yourself?? I can't match up to that
I could help you!!!
I would accept but Hoseok is going through it with Yoongi and I already
Plus, you'll only see me at my worst
Ah okay then
<3
:)
xx May 2016
[Tae]
Hyung
Lunch?
Im sorry
Its okay
Im sorry I really am
Meeting with producers
Dont worry about it
Really
Thank you tae
Okay hyung
xx August 2016
[Tae]
Hyung I miss you
I know youre working late and all
But i miss you so much
<3?
xx October 2017
[Kim Taehyung]
Taehyung ah
Yes hyung?
I'm proud of you, yknow
I know
Thanks hyung
He should've seen it coming, should've done something about it. If he had just...
It's way too late for ifs, and way too late to stop his tears.
xx January 2018
[Kim Taehyung]
Namjoon hyung?
Taehyung ah, what's up?
Congrats on the award
What do you mean? It's our award, Tae.
You made it, y'know
I
I know
Do you have time tomorrow?
I should, why?
Can we
Go back to the river?
With Yeontan?
Hyung?
Yeah
Yeah okay
We'll go
So when we get our first daesang, we'll come back here and retake it, and see the difference!
It wasn't the first daesang, but it's the first he's received and felt whole again.
"I've missed you Taehyung, so, so much."