Work Text:
Yoongi groaned as there was yet another knock on his door.
“What?” he called a hint of anger laced in his voice.
“Hyung we need you to help us with the dishes!”
Yoongi looked at his computer, the unfinished soundtrack staring at him in the face.
His managers voice rang loud in his ears, “if you don’t finish this by the end of the week we need to take a look at your role in this group.”
None of the other boys knew about this discussion, they only knew of Yoongi’s duties. Yoongi didn’t think he had necessarily been slacking but I guess his management thought differently. He’d been working four days with only ten hours overall and he could feel it starting to effect his mood.
The coloring books he was going to use to help himself slip into little space sat on his bed and he sighed. He had hoped for a little time before practice tomorrow morning to regress and relieve some stress but he figured he wasn’t going to get such a luxury.
He slid out of the chair and stormed over to the door pulling it open and storming past Taehyung to the kitchen.
Jimin was stood at the counter washing dishes when Yoongi walked in.
He spotted two covered plates of food on the table and guessing one of them was his since he had skipped dinner he could assume the second was Jimin’s.
Jimin wasn’t eating as much as he should be since he was trying to get in shape and most of the boys were really too busy to notice. They also failed to notice in their frenzy to get ready for their comeback that Jimin wasn’t really himself, not the bright sunshine he normally was. He was more of a tired lump that dragged himself along. He really was just tired and in dire need of sleep and if Yoongi had been in a good mood he may have let him have that and done the dishes by himself but he was not in the mood for anything.
He pulled a towel off the rack and began drying things as Taehyung continued to rinse the dishes. Jin was in the kitchen reading since his portion of the chores were done, Namjoon was writing lyrics curled up to his side, Jungkook was cleaning up the living room, and Hoseok was putting away the food. It was quiet save for Taehyung’s quiet humming that gave Yoongi a headache. He really loved all his bandmates but he wasn’t in the mood right now. Washing the dishes felt like forever but when they were finally done Yoongi felt himself relax as he made his way back to his room.
“Hyung?” he heard a quiet voice say.
He groaned and turned around to see Jimin.
“What?”
“Do you want to eat dinner with me?”
“Not really.”
Yoongi saw the hurt in Jimin’s eyes but chose to ignore it.
Jin looked up from his book at his comment.
“Yoongi you should eat, Jimin just wants company and you need to eat too.”
“Can I just go to my room this is pointless he’s just going to eat two bites and then stare at it for the rest of the time I just want to go do my work.”
“Yoongi”, Jin warned.
“It’s not fair hyung! I don’t have any time to eat and he just chooses not to?! And now why do I have to waste my time because he decided he wanted to intake a carb or two when he swore he was all about getting the abs back before!”
There was a quiet sniffle in front of him and Yoongi turned to see what Jimin’s slump shoulders were shaking as he cried.
All of the boy’s seemed to rush forward to collect him. Jungkook pulled the boy to him and Jimin seemed to cry harder due to the physical contact. Jungkook tried to shush him before glaring at Yoongi and taking Jimin into the kitchen. Yoongi watched him go shocked that he had made the younger cry but too proud at the moment to do anything about it.
“Yoongi go apologize to him”, Namjoon said.
“Why should I?”
“You go apologize to him or you can go spend the night somewhere else. You know Jimin is sensitive about his weight and you are basically encouraging him not to eat. You don’t get the right to be a dick just because your stressed, were all stressed.”
You don’t understand how stressed I really am.
Yoongi stared at Namjoon for a moment before he huffed and walked to the door grabbing his coat and slamming the door shut.
----
Yoongi stuck his key into the door to his studio and slammed the door. He took a deep breath and leaned against the door. He felt the exhaustion hit him but he fought it and went to his computer and started it up.
He couldn’t rest until he had those tracks done.
As he waited for the computer to start he thought about what he had said to Jimin.
He felt bad. He should go apologize but he figured there was no point when he was in the studio already, so he decided he’d do it in the morning at practice.
He looked at the clock and saw that it was already 8:30 which meant he had a good nine hours of work time before rehearsals. If he added the hour he had before he left he would get hopefully two tracks in before rehearsals. This meant he’d had 6 more tracks to do by Saturday, and it was Wednesday, just enough time. Yoongi sighed and got to work.
----
The six boys didn’t even acknowledge when Yoongi dragged himself into the practice room that morning.
He was running on no sleep and the dark circles under his eyes could vouch for it, if the others would just look at him.
Before they started he walked over to Jimin and tried to talk to him.
“Hey…Jimin I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…”
“It’s fine”, Jimin mumbled.
Yoongi stared down at him from where he was sitting on the floor not aware of what to say next.
I mean Jimin did say it was fine? But Yoongi didn’t feel satisfied.
He wasn’t very good with people.
So he just nodded and walked over to the other end of the dance studio since it seemed that’s where the other’s wanted him to be. He was about to sit down and relax when their dance teacher came in to get them started.
----
Yoongi didn’t really feel like coming home after practice.
The other boy’s ignored him the whole time; the dance line didn’t even help him when he struggled. They only listened to the dance instructor scold him for not trying hard enough. Yoongi was close to tears by the end of the practice but no one seemed to notice or care. So when the van pulled up to take them home Yoongi just took the stairs up to his studio again.
He felt himself slipping into little space, the stress and attitude towards him effecting him but he tried to push it away with a heavy feeling in his chest.
He sat down in his chair turning on the computer ignoring his stomach growling.
They had gotten out of practice later than normal since Yoongi kept messing up the moves so he was running late on the tracks. He sighed and began working trying to push the boys deep into his mind. Maybe they would forgive him tomorrow.
----
Jimin still wasn’t eating.
At least none of the boys had seen him doing so.
Every time he declined a meal it only pissed everyone off more.
How dare Yoongi do that to Jimin?
Jimin was trying to take a step further and Yoongi squashed all over it.
The boys were not ready to forgive Yoongi.
And they weren’t ready to forgive him for the rest of the week.
So on Saturday when Yoongi walked in with deep circles under his eyes, hair’s all over to place, they didn’t pay him any mind.
He practically collapsed on to what he considered to be his side of the studio and lazily began to stretch.
He had been up for five straight day’s now (he didn't count the five minutes he crashed out face pressed against his laptop screen). He only had one more song and he could do it after practice and finally this all would be over.
However Yoongi hadn’t been to the dorms in the five days and so neglected to take his anxiety medication and with Jin not there to remind him to take them he was left without them. And without them came the thoughts of perfection. How he had told himself that the songs he had composed were not good enough. How he didn’t even really deserve to be in the group. The group didn’t even like him anymore what was the point of staying in it? He had plagued himself with the horrible thoughts and they didn’t seem to go away anymore.
When their dance teacher came in she gave Yoongi a dirty look at his appearance and the tightness in his chest got worse. He stood up and walked to his position as everyone got ready to start. Once they started however Yoongi realized something very quickly. He couldn’t do this.
His body wouldn’t corporate the exhaustion finally taking a toll on his body. His arms wouldn’t raise like he wanted and he found himself stumbling. Jungkook side glanced him and figured that he was just needed to be redirected and thought maybe by bumping him he would understand what he was doing wrong. So he elbowed him slightly but the movement caused Yoongi to stumble over his feet and hit the floor.
His head smacked against the wood flooring and it seemed to echo through-out the room.
Everyone rushed over to him when he didn’t get up or respond.
When Jungkook saw the blood he panicked.
“I didn’t shove him that hard I just wanted to help him get his stuff together, oh my god”, Jungkook placed a hand over his mouth as Jin raised the other’s head to examine the huge gash in the side of it.
He cursed under his breath before he started ordering everyone around, asking for towels and for someone to call management and the hospital. He wrapped Yoongi’s head in the towels and held a cold water bottle to the wound as everyone waited for the dance teacher to return with their managers.
“Hyung look at him he looks horrible”, Taehyung mumbled.
Jin in fact did realize how horrible Yoongi looked.
His face was skinny and the dark bags seemed deeper than they ever had before.
“God Yoongi what did you do to yourself?”
Slowly Yoongi started to come to. When he sluggishly opened his eyes everyone held their breath scared of what was to come.
Yoongi looked over everyone and suddenly his eyes started to get watery.
“Hey Yoongi it’s okay”, Jin tried to comfort but the younger began to wail.
Everything finally snapped.
The few days without the boys, the lack of sleep, the lack of food, the stress of getting the tracks done and now the pain in his head forced him deep into headspace.
Jin tried to hold Yoongi down so he wouldn’t move so much and further injure himself but it didn’t seem to work. Yoongi was thrashing and balling and slamming his hands into the floor and then onto himself in a frenzy to move.
“Hey Yoongi! Calm down!” Namjoon said as he tried to hold his arms down.
“A-Appa! Appa!” Yoongi wailed.
Hoseok then stepped in and tried to calm the boy but it didn’t help.
The youngers watched in panic afraid of what to do.
Finally Jin went against his initial worries and pulled Yoongi up and against his chest.
Being allowed up seemed to calm Yoongi immensely however his head seemed to bleed more. Hoseok held the towel to his head as Jin rocked the boy gently still unaware as to why the boy was so upset.
The youngers were the only ones that caught Yoongi begin to suck on Jin’s shirt as he hands squeezed and let go of Jin’s shoulders gradually. When things finally started to seem like they were going to calm down the several people that rushed into the room seemed to startle Yoongi and he started to wail again. Jin shushed him and rocked him and it seemed to do the trick until Jin tried to stand as the managers gestured to take him out of the room.
Yoongi had a death grip on Jin’s shirt as they raised him. Once they were standing though Jin froze as he heard Yoongi whimper and then a warm feeling spread across his stomach. He looked down to the now wet spot on his shirt as well as Yoongi’s pants.
Jin pulled Yoongi away from him and Yoongi’s lip wobbled.
“Appa sorry”, Yoongi mumbled trying to press against Jin and his eyebrows creased.
Had Yoongi just called him Appa?
He decided to drop it however in favor of comforting the younger and walking him out of the room.
As the panic from everything subsided however little Yoongi realized where he was and who was around him. He began to squirm again and sniffle loudly.
“Hey Yoongi what’s wrong?” Jin asked trying to look at him.
“Y-Yoongi’s sorry!” he sobbed, “No hate Yoongi anymore please! Yoongi sorry he was a bad boy and made Jiminie cry!”
Everyone froze in their place.
Jin looked up to see their managers gawking at the boy as he balled his eyes out.
“Hey Yoongi it’s okay”, Jin said trying to look into his face but Yoongi refused.
“Yoongi made Jiminie cry and no like Yoongi anymore. Want Yoongi gone”, Yoongi wailed pushing against Jin more trying to get away.
Yoongi held his head as he wailed and finally kicked himself free and tried to take off running.
He made it down one hallway before the head injury caused him to be dizzy and he toppled over and lost consciousness again.
The boys ran after him and carried him outside where the ambulance was just arriving and took the boy. Jin went with them since he seemed to be the only one that could calm him down in case he woke up. The others packed into a van and followed behind. Jungkook was trying really hard to be okay but he broke down briefly on the way.
“I didn’t mean to push him that hard it’s my fault he’s acting like this he has brain damage or something”, Jungkook sobbed quietly, Hoseok comforting him.
“He looked weak as it was Jungkook it’s not your fault”, Namjoon said trying to reassure the younger.
Jungkook had calmed down by the time they got to the hospital. There was already people there waiting for them asking them questions as they were ushered in but they ignored them in favor of going inside to wait for Yoongi.
----
When Yoongi woke up he was in a quiet room with dim lighting. His head was throbbing and he touched it briefly and felt bandages. He looked around and saw that it was dark outside and he slowly remembered everything that had happened. His breathing increased as he began to panic.
The track.
“Hey Yoongi! Hey calm down it’s alright”, Jin jumped up to comfort him.
“The track! Oh my god what time is it?!” he yelled looking around frantically.
“What track? Yoongi calm down first!”
Doctor’s ran in alerted at the boys racing heartbeat.
“Sir you need to calm down!” a nurse warned as another got a needle ready.
Jin tried to cradle the frantic boy and eventually it worked with a small dose pumped into his IV to calm him down.
Yoongi was crying steadily but now silent as he stared off in front of him head still on Jin’s chest.
After the nurses and doctors left Yoongi was now faced with everyone else.
Everyone was watching him.
He squeezed his eyes shut as to avoid there looks and buried his face in Jin’s shirt.
“They said you were malnourished…” Namjoon said quietly.
“And exhausted”, Hoseok said.
“They couldn’t find traces of your medication in the brain scan either”, Jin finished.
Yoongi pulled from Jin and stared down at the sheets tears dripping into his lap.
“I had to finish the tracks…”
“How long have you been awake?”
“Five days, but I haven’t been sleeping well for the past weak…”
“What is so important about these tracks?” Namjoon asked.
Yoongi’s manager decided to walk in then.
Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut again and his hands tightened in the sheets as tears ran down his face with quiet sobs.
“Sir I’m sorry I’ll get on the last track as soon as possible if someone can bring me my laptop I can finish it up right now, please reconsider, I know I deserve to be fired but please everything else is done, I didn’t calculate for this.”
“Hey none of that health comes first second and third.”
Everyone was watching the two in astonishment, after all no one knew of Yoongi’s deadline.
“We can discuss the tracks when you are better.”
Yoongi’s tears didn’t subside and he pulled his legs up under the thin blanket that was under him and bringing his hands up to his head almost as if someone was going to hit him. His body shook as he cried trying to hide from everyone that was watching him.
He heard the door open and shut but he paid no mind to it as he felt himself leaving his body becoming numb to the rest of the world as he let himself cry.
He just wanted to be at home in bed.
He wanted to be little.
At the thought he shot up the knowledge that he had been little in front of everybody causing his face to go red. He saw that his manager and Namjoon were gone but still started speaking.
“I-I’m sorry…for earlier…for being l-little. Y-you s-shouldn’t have seen m-me like t-that. Please don’t h-hate me. I-I won’t d-do i-it in front of you. I-It just helps w-when I-I’m stressed.”
His body was shaking from the fear of being rejected and he hardly noticed Jin wrap his arms around him(who he had now realized had a change of pants on).
“Hey stop, were not going to judge you, we were just scared you had brain damage or something. If it helps you then it’s okay”, he said.
The warmth of his hyung’s words helped him calm down and finally relax.
Once he was calm he saw Jungkook stand up from where he was sitting and walk to the bed in a hurry.
He collapsed down basically on top of him and held him tight.
“I’m so sorry”, he cried.
“Jungkook it’s okay”, Yoongi said pulling an arm up to comfort him.
“I didn’t mean to push you that hard”, Jungkook sniffled.
“I know you didn’t, it wasn’t your fault.”
Jungkook stayed clinging to Yoongi for a while before Yoongi was faced with Jimin who looked awfully guilty as well.
“Jimin it’s not your fault either, and I’m sorry for what I said to you again.”
Jimin just shook his head.
Yoongi coaxed him over to him and let him hug him as well and Jimin got slightly upset for a moment before the other boys stepped in.
“Where is my hug from Yoongi?” Hoseok asked and Yoongi chuckled letting the other two boys free and letting Hoseok and Taehyung hug him as they whispered things about them being happy he was okay.
“Where did Namjoon go?” Yoongi asked after a moment.
“He went to go talk to the management.”
Yoongi’s eyes filled with worry and Jin was quick to calm him.
“Don’t stress about it, he concerned that they went to you without his knowledge, they should have talked to him before giving you such a work load.”
Yoongi was silent and now that he finally felt the loads of worry he’s been holding onto leave his body he felt himself slipping into little space.
Jin caught the way his face changed and he grabbed his hands.
“Yoongi are you little?”
“Appa”, he mumbled looking up Jin with puppy eyes and Jin smiled.
“I’m here baby”, Jin said squeezing his hands for reassurance.
Yoongi looked around the room he was before one hand subconsciously went to his mouth and he stuck two fingers in his mouth to suck.
“Head hurt”, he slurred around his fingers touching his head.
“I know baby you hit it pretty bad, it’s okay though it will be better soon.”
Yoongi looked at Jin through his eyelashes and shakily raised his hands.
“Up?” he asked softly wondering if Jin was even okay with doing that.
Right before Jin answered though the door to the room was opened and Namjoon poked his head in.
“Jin can you come with me really quick?”
At the mention of Jin leaving Yoongi whined.
“Appa stay”, he ordered pouting.
Namjoon looked over at Yoongi then back up with Jin having an internal conversation with the elder.
“I’ll be right back sweetie okay? You can play with the others while I’m gone”, Jin smiled trying to reassure the other.
However Yoongi curled into himself trying to hide his face.
Yoongi whined again but let Jin go with a kiss to the head.
The others watched him and Yoongi, feeling the others eyes on him, felt tears well up in his eyes.
On the first sniffle Hoseok hurried over to him.
“Hey, hey Yoongi its okay, don’t cry were just as good as Ji-your Appa okay?”
Yoongi peaked his head out and looked at the four in the room.
“You can play with whoever you want Yoongi”, Taehyung said with a smile.
Yoongi surveyed the four and then his eyes settled on Jimin. He looked the most like a teddy bear that Yoongi could cuddle with so he raised his arms to Jimin.
“Up”, he said bouncing slightly.
Jimin walked over to him and looked worriedly at the IV in the littles arm.
Bad move.
Yoongi’s eyes followed the others and when he saw the foreign object coming out of his arm he panicked.
His immediate reaction was to pull it out and Taehyung leapt forward to stop him.
“Hey Yoongi it’s okay it’s making you feel better.”
Yoongi’s eyes filled with tears once more but this time he succeeded in sobbing.
“Hurts”, he wailed.
“Hey Yoongi it’s okay”, Jimin tried coming around to the side of the bed with the IV on it to pick him up and still have the IV bag a short distance away from him. He rocked him and slowly Yoongi calmed down. Yoongi stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked contently pushing himself against Jimin so he would rock.
Soon Jin and Namjoon were coming back into the room and Yoongi giggled and tried to raise his arms for Jin but winced as the IV snagged against his arm.
“Oh baby be careful come here”, Jin hurried to him and picked him up standing where Jimin had been thanking him.
“Appa”, Yoongi whined, “Wanna go home.”
“We’ll go home soon love I promise”, Jin shushed bouncing the boy lightly.
“Yoongi”, a hushed voice spoke and Yoongi looked up with watery eyes.
“Look what I brought”, Namjoon spoke holding out a stuffed Kumamon that he had found in Yoongi’s room in a box filled with pacifiers and coloring books.
Yoongi gasped and reached his arms out for it and Namjoon smiled handing it to the boy and letting him snuggle it to his chest.
He stuck the ear in his mouth and sucked and Jin tisked.
“No Yoongi don’t chew on that here”, Jin said taking the pacifier from Namjoon and sticking it in Yoongi’s mouth.
Yoongi visibly relaxed and snuggled into Jin.
“They’ll have to keep him over night, he’s too mal-nourished”, Namjoon said to everyone else, “But in his state they said that they’ll allow two of us to stay.”
“Well you and Jin should stay then no?” Jimin asked.
“I think so”, Namjoon nodded.
“Alright then, we should get going, come on guys”, Hoseok said urging the younger ones to get their stuff together.
Each of them said goodbye to Yoongi who was falling back asleep.
“Come on Yoongi let’s put you down”, Jin said going over to the bed.
“Appa?” Yoongi said as Jin set him down.
“What’s up kid?”
“Can Appa cuddle”, he said playing with the sheets, “Joonie too.”
Jin turned to Namjoon and Namjoon shrugged his shoulders before walking towards the bed and squeezing into the small bed with the little.
“Are guys mad at me”, Yoongi asked quietly.
“Of course not love, we’re sorry we ignored you.”
Yoongi nodded, “Yoongi forgive you”, he said before snuggling into them.
“Goodnight Appas”, he mumbled before falling asleep.
With everything finally settled when Yoongi woke up he was Big and even though there was a few worries left in his head, he felt much better than he ever had.
He basked in Jin and Namjoon’s heat for a little while longer until the other boys came back and he kicked them out of the bed, back to his old self.