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The sound of shuffling feet and the scratching of boxes on the wooden floor filled the still barren apartment complex. Daehwi can hear the distinct noises he has associated so closely to Park Woojin--the screaming, the jumping, and the sound of Jihoon scolding him--bouncing off the walls. It’s an exciting time for him, for all of them. They’ve conquered their two albums, made records, sold millions, won countless awards, they deserve to lap in this amount of luxury for the rest of their time together. They’ve gone to hell and back, they deserve at least this amount of respite. He walks down the long hall, past the large living room and the fully equipped kitchen. He walks past the open room of Seongwoo and Daniel, which is now just a pile of boxes and two twin beds, the occupants taking a tour of the other suite the other members would be occupying. Then, he arrives. The door stands ajar and from this angle he can see Jinyoung, head buried in a box of fan gifts on the floor.
They’re roommates once again, to the surprise of no one, but now they have the room to themselves. As much as Daehwi loved having Sungwoon as a roommate, kissing Jinyoung in front of him wasn’t always the most pleasant of experiences, for all of them. When they found out that they would be moving into a new swanky apartment complex and would be separated into pairs and singles, Daehwi and Jinyoung grabbed the chance to stay together and Sungwoon grabbed the chance to escape the kissing chamber. They were all ecstatic about the move, truly. However, moving day comes and suddenly Daehwi is feeling more nervous than ecstatic. They were even given a queen-size bed because everyone knew only one twin bed would have been used anyway. They had the perfect setup--their own room, their own bed, a walk-in closet, even a private bathroom--yet he still felt this creeping unease settling in his stomach.
Jinyoung peeks out of his box and notices Daehwi standing by the door. He smiles at him, sweet and soft, his eyes crinkling slightly as he observes him, “Where’d you come from, we still have to fix the closet.”
Jinyoung’s been practically bouncing with joy the entire day. Daehwi should be too. He should be over the moon with delight. He should be jumping up and down the halls like Woojin. He should be so, so happy but he can’t find it in himself to.
Jinyoung is quick to notice.
“What’s wrong?” he says tracing the length of Daehwi’s shoulder and arm before interlocking their fingers, “You seem out of it.”
Daehwi tries to fake it with a smile, but the look Jinyoung shoots him is enough for him to realize that he couldn’t get off that easily.
“It’s nothing, really,” he says trying to shake Jinyoung off, but this just makes him cling on to him even more. Jinyoung snakes his arms around Daehwi as he drags him to their bed.
Their bed.
It makes something in Daehwi sink even more. The possibility of ever hating the idea of sharing a bed with Jinyoung was just downright preposterous. It’s not like they haven’t shared midnight kisses or intimate touches under the cover of night. So why this odd apprehension?
“You’re worried about something again,” Jinyoung says as he hugs Daehwi tighter, his head resting on Daehwi’s shoulder, “I don’t like it when you worry.”
It’s here, in Jinyoung’s arms, that Daehwi feels the most safe. Here, in the arms of the boy who took his hand and ran straight into the stars, he felt the unsettling of the universe pause. Daehwi lets himself sink into the embrace, his body folding to the slick contours of Jinyoung’s torso.
“The idea of everything being ours scares me.”
Jinyoung hums into his back and gently moves them so that they’re now lying on the bed. Soon enough, Jinyoung is spooning Daehwi into the mattress and Daehwi feels the world slinks away as he basks in Jinyoung’s tender embrace. Their blinds that partially hid their sprawling view of the Seoul metropolis also filtered the sunlight streaming into their room, making everything look like it was in a haze.
“It excites me,” Jinyoung says after a while, his breath tickling the back of Daehwi’s neck, “The idea of sharing everything with you excites me. I don’t know why.”
“Then why am I afraid?”
He snuggles into Daehwi’s nape, “Maybe I’m too hot to handle?”
Daehwi elbows Jinyoung’s stomach as his boyfriend bursts into laughter. He faces Jinyoung and hits him on the shoulder, “I hate you.”
“No you don’t, you’re in love with me.”
Daehwi rolls his eyes, “It was an error, I don’t love you. I’m switching with Jaehwan, you can have him,” he says trying to get out of the bed. Jinyoung, still laughing, once again grabs Daehwi before he can leave, caging him to the bed with one arm.
“You’re not doing that,” Jinyoung says, “you’re staying with me and we’re figuring out why you’re being a total weirdo. There can only be one weirdo in this relationship, and that role is fortunately taken up by me.”
Jinyoung then rises from the bed and turns Daehwi towards him, “Why don’t we discuss your problem while we’re organizing the closet. You like organizing our stuff, then you can give us a couple look for our next overseas schedule. How does that sound?”
Daehwi contemplates, but Jinyoung is pouting at him like a little child asking for candy. He doesn’t want to admit defeat, but he taught his boyfriend how to pull off a killer pout. So he groans and ascents to Jinyoung leading him into their closet where both of their suitcases were lying. Jinyoung had already laid out all of their shoes into one rack. They both had the same size and constantly exchanged shoes, that having their own side of the rack became rather pointless.
“Now, arrange our closet,” Jinyoung says with a smile. Daehwi smiles back as he starts rummaging through their suitcases. He makes an arrangement in his head and starts picking things out and placing them in their accorded space in the closet. Jinyoung kneels beside the trunks and Daehwi starts instructing him to hand him specific pieces of clothing as they slowly fill up the expansive wardrobe.
Daehwi’s rearranging all their outerwear by color when Jinyoung siddles up behind him and rests his chin on Daehwi’s shoulder.
“So, about you being scared of everything being ours, what was that about?”
Daehwi sighs, his shoulders slumping at the weight of Jinyoung’s sharp chin, “I don’t know. I was so excited to move in, but suddenly being here, actually moving into the room, I’m suddenly scared.”
Jinyoung hums before unlatching himself from Daehwi. He moves to the side of their closet where Daehwi has their outfit already planned: matching double pleated blazers--one beige and one deep navy--a simple shirt and black ripped jeans.
“Why are you scared though? This is the same setup except without Sungwoon-hyung. We can cuddle all we want without him complaining that he’s pathetically single. It’s the perfect setup.” Jinyoung says with a smirk. He’s still impossibly cheeky even in Daehwi’s distress, he doesn’t know if he wants to smack Jinyoung on the face or kiss him.
“You’re not even taking this seriously. I’m having a mental breakdown for reasons that escape me, and you’re just there laughing at my misery.”
Jinyoung chuckles, “I’m just really happy, Hwi. Not even your weird insecurities about this not working will ruin my mood. I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”
Daehwi frowns and fiddles with the sleeves of the jacket he’s hanging, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to put a damper to your day,” he says seriously. He loves that Jinyoung loves the arrangement. He loves that he’s smiling so much from the moment he woke up to now. He’s just been so exuberant this entire process and Daehwi can’t help but feel so inexplicably loved. Which makes him feel even guiltier that he’s having these doubts.
“Do you want me to say why I’m so excited?” Jinyoung suggests, striding up to Daehwi and taking his hand, “Maybe you can be excited with me too.”
Daehwi smiles and lets Jinyoung lead him to their shared bed.
“First, this bed,” he says with so much pride that he looks like he was just given the keys to his newly purchased home in some swanky part of Gangnam, “I really like this bed because there is only one bed. So much more space for cuddling at night. It also reduces the possibility of you sleeping away from me.”
Daehwi can’t help the blush creeping up his cheeks. Jinyoung is unforgivingly sappy and it simultaneously makes Daehwi want to throw himself out of a window and bury his boyfriend in kisses.
“But if we do have arguments, I’ll probably end up sleeping in the living room,” Jinyoung says off-handedly.
“What makes you so sure you won’t get royally pissed at me and send me to the couch?” Daehwi challenges.
Jinyoung shrugs, “I’d never inconvenience you, babe. You know that.”
Daehwi wants to protest, but he knows that what Jinyoung says is true. It’s always Daehwi who actually holds a grudge. Jinyoung only gets mad for the extent of an hour, two on really bad days before trying to make amends. Jinyoung always made it up to Daehwi some way or another. One of his favorite tactics to appease Daehwi was to sing to him while trying to hug him from behind. Jinyoung did this because he was shit at talking and because he just really liked hugging Daehwi. He would relent for a good two minutes before he melts into putty.
Daehwi huffs and Jinyoung points at the flat screen television mounted to the wall facing their bed, “Look at our TV, Daehwi. This is perfect for days when we just want to stay in and cuddle on our bed.”
Daehwi shakes his head, “It feels like the bed is your pride and joy.”
“Only because you partly own it,” Jinyoung grins, pinching Daehwi’s cheek for good measure, “like how you partly own my heart.”
Daehwi pushes Jinyoung onto the bed, “I hate you.”
Jinyoung cackles as he falls gracelessly onto the bed. He then sits up on the bed and smiles warmly at Daehwi, “Are you still scared?”
Daehwi looks at Jinyoung, and shakes his head. It’s scary how well Jinyoung knows how to calm him down. He’s studied the emotional mess that was Lee Daehwi so well and made blueprints and guide maps in his head, he’s learned how to look at Daehwi and understand with just a glance the storms raging in his head. He once said that he aspired to read Daehwi better than Woojin, claiming that Woojin had the one up on him but he would figure out a way to be better at reading the ebb and flow of Daehwi’s emotions one day.
“I was overthinking too much again,” Daehwi admits sitting next to Jinyoung on the bed, “I was so happy about moving in with you, to us having this big room for ourselves. It almost seemed like we were moving in together, like we were married or something,” Daehwi says, looking at Jinyoung only to find him covering his face, Daehwi notes the pink that has invaded Jinyoung’s neck.
“Are you blushing? Why are you blushing Bae Jinyoung, the only marriage you can contemplate right now is the wedding of your hand and a high school diploma.”
Jinyoung blanches at Daehwi’s words, “Hey, you’re the one who brought it up. It’s just a really nice image.”
Daehwi rolls his eyes, “Marriage wouldn’t even work, I can’t even tell you my problems without you ruining the mood.”
“Hey!” Jinyoung protests, “I didn’t say a thing. I was perfectly content with listening to you while also imagining our future as husband and husband.”
Daehwi bites his bottom lip, Jinyoung really didn’t know how some of his words affected him so much. There again comes the strong urge to punch and kiss his stupid boyfriend.
“You really have the worst filter,” Daehwi says burying his face into a pillow. Jinyoung grabs onto Daehwi’s waist again, “Tell me what you were feeling. I’ll listen until you finish,” he whispers low and tender into his ear.
Daehwi moves his head so that he’s facing away from Jinyoung, “I don’t know. Just the idea of things changing. That one day the things that are ours won’t be ours anymore. That one day it will be you and I, not us. That one day you’ll forget about me,” Daehwi says with a shaky breath, “It’s like our deadline just got closer.”
Jinyoung nods, his breath dancing at the back of Daehwi’s neck, his hands holding him tightly, “Wanna One has a deadline, but we don’t,” Jinyoung whispers, “Love doesn’t have a deadline. We, you, me and the rest of the members, we don’t have a deadline. You and me, we don’t have a deadline. We never had a deadline.”
Jinyoung holds him tighter, “I’m happy because I have you. I have them. I’m happy that we’re here. Let’s enjoy it. If things happen, then let it happen, but for today we’re good. Let’s take it day by day, okay?”
Daehwi smiles despite himself. Being in Wanna One has brought him so much happiness, but has also left a growing fear of the things that are to come. Change is never an easy thing. Transitioning from a trainee to an idol was difficult, transitioning to a national celebrity even more so. But transitioning out of a family he’s come to love so much, that’ll take a lot out of him.
“It’s like what Jisung-hyung said in his letter, no matter where you go, know that you have 9 brothers who will always look out for you.”
Daehwi turns to Jinyoung, “What happened to the other one?”
“He’s your lover, you idiot.”
“You’re hitting your quota for being disgusting.”
“But did I hit your heart?”
Daehwi just lets himself settle into Jinyoung’s arms, because he knows relenting would only lead to more pain.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” he says instead.
Jinyoung’s smile is warm and proud, his eyes are glowing in the sparse rays of sunlight filtering into the room, and his nose is scrunched just the way Daehwi likes it.
“I promised you that I would take care of you when we debuted. I’m glad I’m doing my job well.”
More than well, Daehwi wants to say. Exceeds all expectations and then some, he wants to utter. Beyond anything, everything he wants to exclaim. But right now, words seem so small, so insignificant in the midst of this overwhelming gratitude and love bursting from every fiber of Daehwi’s body.
He kisses him.
Daehwi lets his lips convey the chaos of emotions riddling his body. Jinyoung accepts heartily, his hands holding on to Daehwi tighter as they sink deeper and deeper into each other. It’s a few moments later when their lips are swollen and their breath ragged that they disengage.
“I love you,” Daehwi whispers like a promise before burying his face into Jinyoung’s neck, “You make everything better.”
Jinyoung brings Daehwi closer, “Ditto.”
They stay like that, limbs entangled and interlocked and immovable like the gnarled roots of an ancient tree, for a time they do not track. It’s when Jinyoung notices that there is barely any light in their room and the weird rumbling that sounds like Jihoon and Woojin roughhousing that he separates their bodies.
“Daehwi, we still have a lot to do, come on.”
Jinyoung tries to rise from the bed, but Daehwi relents, burying his face deeper into Jinyoung’s neck so tightly that he’s now partially dangling off of Jinyoung’s body.
“I don’t want to.”
Jinyoung laughs, he rarely ever denies tired, clingy Daehwi, but they honestly still have a lot to do, and Jisung fought so hard to clear this day so that all of them could move in without any hassle. They couldn’t let the day go to waste.
“Come on, we only have today to fix everything. We can cuddle later.”
Daehwi blearily opens his eyes, surveying the state of their room. There are mounds of boxes still left unopened, a bag of toiletries that has its contents spilled onto the floor, and a trunk filled with bags that still needed organizing.
“Eh, that’s fine.”
Jinyoung pries Daehwi off him, “Come on, babe. We can even play house while doing it.”
Daehwi shakes his head, “Insufferable idiot.”
“Your favorite insufferable idiot.”
Daehwi smirks, “I don’t know. You and Woojin have been fighting for that title for a while.”
“Hey, Woojin is Jihoon’s favorite insufferable idiot and I am yours. Don’t ruin things for everyone.”
Daehwi gets up and goes for one of the unopened boxes, “So how do you want to start this, yeobo?” he says eyeing Jinyoung teasingly.
Jinyoung tries and fails to hide the blush on his face as he answers with a shy, “I can start organizing the toiletries...yeobo.” He then shuffles into their bathroom haphazardly grabbing the opened toiletries bag, dropping a bottle of moisturizer and sunscreen in the process.
Daehwi grins as he starts unloading the contents of the box. He doesn’t say it, but Jinyoung’s been his favorite insufferable idiot for months, and he’ll probably have that title for a long, long time to come.
For now he arranges bags and knick knacks, knowing full well he can cuddle his idiot unbothered later that night.
---
Later that night, when Jinyoung has Daehwi safely snoring softly in his arms, he smiles to himself and peppers his head with gentle kisses. He reaches for his phone that he’s stowed away in his pant pocket and brings it above their heads. He snaps a quick selca of them, the flash catching everything in all its warm glory. He saves it as his wallpaper and sends it to their Wanna One group chat with the caption: first night together
Ong immediately replies with “disgusting.” Jisung and Minhyun are quick to gush about how cute they are, while most of the other members send hearts, and Woojin sends a skull.
He giggles looking at the picture again and caressing the rises and falls of Daehwi’s delicate face. He opens Kakaotalk again and begins typing a private message for Minhyun.
Jinyoung: Hyung.
Minhyunie-Hyung: Yes?
Jinyoung: Is it too early for me to think about marriage?
Minhyunie-Hyung: …
Minhyunie Hyung: Go to sleep, Jinyoung. Good night.
Jinyoung is about to close his phone when he receives another message.
Minhyunie-Hyung: Never mention that to Woojin unless you want the entirety of BNM arranging a death squad for you. Good night again.