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There’s nothing Evan loves more than being caught between his boyfriends. After all the push and pull, their breathing heavy, Connor’s hands everywhere, Jared’s lips on his skin. Evan takes a wheezy breath but for once he isn’t panicking. He’s perfectly fine, floating in the space that’s just the three of them, no fear or judgment, no regret, just their heavy breathing and Connor’s hands and Jared’s lips.
Evan can vaguely hear Jared’s voice, calling him beautiful, amazing, their good boy . Evan takes a hold of Connor’s arm and laces their fingers together. His other hand comes up to trace the scars on Connor’s wrist from when he was a teenager. He brings their laced hands up to his lips and kisses the skin there. Connor gives Evan a soft smile, runs his free hand through Evan’s hair. He looks so fucking fond that Evan thinks he might implode.
Evan comes out of it just enough to realize that they’re talking about him to each other. Jared says: “we should probably get him into the bath” and Connor nonverbally agrees.
Evan whines a little in the back of his throat. He knows that at some point they have to get up, Connor and Jared have to take him through the aftercare routine they’ve established, otherwise the floaty feeling will crash into a wave of anxiety. But he’s so fucking cozy, caught between them, and it’s so rare that his mind is shut off enough for him to just feel.
Connor laughs softly at the protest and pulls Evan close to his chest. “Alright, baby,” he says. “Alright, we can just stay here for a little while.”
Jared lays next to them and wraps his arms around Evan’s waist, rubs circles into his hips. Evan dozes between the two of them, all floaty and distant. Eventually, Connor wakes Evan up. Jared goes to the bathroom to run a bath and eventually comes back. Together, Jared and Connor lead Evan to the bathroom. Connor gets in first and Evan finds his way into Connor’s lap. Jared sits on the outside, brings a washcloth to scrub Evan’s body clean. Evan curls into Connor and dozes.
“I’m gonna go get him some pajamas,” Jared says to Connor. He presses a kiss to Connor’s lips he leaves. Connor hums a lullaby to Evan in the meanwhile. He’s not the best singer, but his voice is soothing and lulls Evan into another short sleep.
Jared comes back dressed, holding some pajamas and a towel. Together, Jared and Connor get Evan out of the tub. They towel him off and dress him. Connor leaves to get dressed while Jared combs through Evan’s hair. Evan and Connor often joke that Jared has a past life as a sassy gay hairdresser. Nevertheless, he’s gentle and it’s soothing.
When Jared finishes fixing Evan’s hair, they walk together to their tiny living room, where Connor’s waiting with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a glass of water and one of Evan’s favorite Disney movies. Jared sits Evan on the couch and takes the movie from Connor. He goes to set it up while Connor settles in next to Evan.
“Here, baby,” Connor says as he holds a glass up to Evan’s lips. Evan sips the water and sighs in contentment as the burning he hadn’t even been aware of in his throat disappears. Jared settles in on the other side of Evan and cuddles him as the movie starts. Connor slowly feeds Evan bites of the sandwich as he lulls between them.
Evan curls into Connor when he’s done with the sandwich. Connor kisses his head as Jared laces their fingers together. Evan finds his voice finally as he hoarsely says, “I-I love you guys.”
Jared cooes softly. “We love you too, Ev.” Connor rubs his back as the movie plays.
Evan knows eventually he’ll come down from this and he’ll be regular ‘Evan Hansen’ - an anxious mess who can’t get through more than two words without stuttering. He’s already starting to come back from it already, his hand shaking in Jared’s.
Now, however, he can float in between them, not an anxious mess or a bad public speaker or even ‘Evan Hansen’; just Evan, just their good boy, just theirs.
He’s enough.