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1. guster
for as long as jimin has known the invincible duo of seokjin and jeongguk, two expert hackers who make the team's heists go off without a hitch, he's noticed their habits more than his own. the only reason he notices them so well is because those habits are kind of annoying and sometimes slows them down before they can start jobs.
for instance...
jimin doesn't know if he should call it a habit but jeongguk certainly does it enough for it to a) be a habit and b) be noticeable and frustrating. considering that their team's job entails absolute anonymity so they can avoid things like, you know, discomfort, invasion of privacy, maximum prison sentences. the usual. it makes jeongguk's habit especially annoying because, as jimin always points out, people can point out voices just as well as they point out faces.
but jeongguk doesn't care.
and every single time they walk into a bank or post office or wherever the money takes them, just after they disarm the alarm and get the employees as well as the customers down on the floor, jeongguk -- without fail -- starts to sing. it doesn't matter how many times jimin tells him to "shut the fuck up before i rip out your throat and feed it to my dog," jeongguk still sings.
he's doing it right fucking now.
and, sure, maybe it would be funny if they weren't in the middle of robbing a very busy bank with a teller who looks a little trigger happy. whatever song he's singing would probably sound good on any other occasion too. but at the moment all jimin really wants to do is punch him right on the nose of freddy krueger mask.
jimin adjusts his own mask -- pinhead -- and fixes his mouth to tell jeongguk to stop when, to his surprise, another voice joins jeongguk's, harmonizing with him. it's seokjin.
"i'm not scared," seokjin sings, matching jeongguk's lower note with a slightly higher one. their voices are muffled under their masks but it sounds beautiful. would sound beautiful. if they weren't in the middle of robbing a fucking bank.
"i'm not scared," they sing again.
jeongguk adjusts his hold on his gun which is still pointed at the customers joined on the right side. they look less confused that the people currently robbing them are harmonizing together and more terrified that they might have just crossed paths with killers straight out of the crazies or something.
the teller, a blonde woman with sharp eyes and certainly a calculated mind, looks between the three of them: jeongguk on her left (left of the entrance), seokjin on her left (right of the entrance), and jimin dead center holding a gun in her direction.
jimin mouths an apology that she certainly cannot see.
"try wearing your insides out," jeongguk and seokjin nod at each other in tandem, certainly grinning under those masks, before getting louder and singing the big part: "i don't even try, i know i have seen the best i'll have--"
"shut the fuck up," jimin says in a plea.
"you were a little high there at the end," seokjin says.
even under the mask jimin can easily detect the signature smirk on jeongguk's face as he tilts his head quickly. he can almost hear the exhale too. "was i?"
"yeah, do you need lessons?"
"oh, yeah," jeongguk says sarcastically, no doubt as a way to hide how fond he is of the idea. " 'cause you're such a good teacher."
"i could teach you so many new things. don't go so high," seokjin says. they both clear their throats and start singing again.
"i don't even try..."
"i swear," jimin interrupts. "once this is done, sing all you want but please, have mercy on these people. you already have a gun in their face, you don't have to torture them with your singing too."
"amen," one of the customers says.
the two begrudgingly quiet and jeongguk goes back to his usual low singing, more of a whisper. it doesn't matter how many times, jeongguk won't stop singing and maybe that's fine. they all have their little things to make them less nervous when they go in for a job and it just so happens 90s power ballads are jeongguk's go to.
it'd be nice if it had ended there but ever since then, seokjin started singing on jobs too. it must be quite a sight from the customer's perspective. two tall, buff guys, one with shoulders that span wider than the pacific ocean, both wearing halloween store masks, singing ballads and classic rock.
it gets to the point that they make a game out of it. jeongguk starts singing a song that seokjin has to follow and vice versa.
"so long ago i don't remember when," seokjin will start.
"that's when they say i lost my only friend," jeongguk will follow, usually recognizing the song with ease.
"they said she died easy of a broken heart disease," they will finish together while people in the bank watch in bewildered fear.
whatever gets them through the heist, jimin supposes.
2. don't blink
they have a different go to spot depending on the job and depending on how hot their trail has been. for the kingston job, they went two states over to a shack that namjoon had scouted out before hand and only then did they both counting the money. it's thanks to namjoon's keen eye that they never get goofs that's why he's the one in charge of following the teller to the vault and watching whoever it is grab the money.
it's because of namjoon's carefulness that they even have the luxury of not worrying about goofs. their only job after they get the money is to count it and then get taehyung to launder it for them. once taehyung has it cleaned, they can do whatever the fuck they want for however the fuck long they want to do it.
usually that means, for jimin and namjoon, going someplace warm and spending all day on the beach. soaking up sunlight and sangrias and each other with the only downside being getting the sand out of more private places. the inability to keep their hands off of each other tends to have that effect.
but until then...
"if you just get a counter, this would be a lot easier," jeongguk says next to him. he looks positively sad. understandable seeing as he's been counting the same stack for about five minutes. it's kind of his fault though for being so easily distracted.
"if you just stopped staring, you could count a lot faster."
it's a miracle of science that jeongguk doesn't break his neck with how fast he snaps it in jimin's direction. "i wasn't staring."
"don't get your balls in a twist."
"don't accuse me of things i didn't do."
jimin licks his thumb as he starts counting a new stack, doesn't look up when he nods toward seokjin who's counting his own bag of money just across from them. the problem, jimin realizes, isn't just that seokjin is reclined back in his seat or that his brow is furrowed in that way that he knows damn well jeongguk thinks is cute (because he's fucking said as much when nobody even asked).
it's that it's hot in this warehouse and seokjin's taken off his hoodie and the long sleeved shirt underneath it and is just sitting there in a black tank top. it's also probably that jin's pants are also black. and his boots. and jeongguk really likes black. he really likes seokjin. he really, really likes seokjin in black.
also, another thing jeongguk's gushed about without having to be asked, shoulders.
"how many stacks has seokjin counted so far?"
"ten."
"ah," jimin looks at jeongguk. "now, how would you know that if you weren't staring?"
jeongguk is about to object, close to it, it's probably on the tip of his tongue but he shuts his mouth as quickly as he opened it and settles for a scowl. "fuck you with everything that can fuck, jimin."
jimin looks back down at his stack and proceeds counting. "namjoon takes care of that, thank you very much. try seokjin."
they continue counting in silence until jimin finishes his bag first, namjoon second, and seokjin third. they're squaring out the details over the phone with taehyung, estimating that jeongguk's bag might roughly be around $10,000. taehyung has a restaurant in a small town that makes most of its revenue from cash, making it a perfect place to clean money. he used to run with them on actual heists but decided the danger wasn't worth it. oddly enough, it's the danger that makes the four of them stay in even when it becomes too dangerous.
it's sad.
they don't even really need the money at this point. they all just kind of like doing it.
jeongguk's still counting and jimin is still squaring away so it takes a while for him to notice but he does. jeongguk is looking down at his money, trying to count but pausing again and again. it's not the pausing that jimin notices. it's the blinking.
quick blinking that look like visual stutters, jeongguk's unfocused eyes shrouded in a shorthand daze.
jimin's seen this kind of blinking before. it's a habit. but not of jeongguk's. that's something of seokjin's. in the time jimin has worked with them, he's seen seokjin do that a million times. he's exaggerating, of course. it's probably a million and one.
jimin's never really known why seokjin does it, he's never bothered to ask. he definitely doesn't know why, all of a sudden, jeongguk is doing it now. and he would've asked but seokjin beat him to it.
"ah, jk, are you hungry?"
pausing, jeongguk looks up like a deer in the headlights. (there's really no need for the simile, he looks like a deer literally all the time). "what?"
"are you hungry?"
"...i mean...i guess i am. huh. i didn't realize."
seokjin waves his hand dismissively. "don't worry, once we finish up here we can go get burgers. you can buy since you're the one holding us up in the first place."
jeongguk's face, which had been warm and teeming adoration from seokjin's seemingly caring tone suddenly went back to his favorite scowl at the last part. he looked back down at his money. "fuck you."
"buy me the burgers and we'll see."
3. tilt
personally speaking, jimin thinks namjoon is at his hottest when he's driving the getaway car. that serious, focused, hard stare and furrowed brows to punctuate it. once they get a few miles away and namjoon takes off whatever mask he's chosen for the latest job, his hair is a bit of a mess but an attractive one that reminds jimin of what he looks like after sex.
having said that, nothing beats namjoon in the planning stage. when he's been up for nights on end researching one specific bank and all of the different routes it takes to get in and around it, researching every little thing right down to the typical response time of the police in that area.
he's got blueprints and security footage he gets courtesy of the hackers who refuse to fuck but really want to and he looks like he's in control. it's so, so appealing.
right now, he's leaning over seokjin's shoulder peering down at the laptop in front of him.
seokjin's typing lightning fast. jimin can see the images on his screen reflecting on his glasses. seokjin keeps biting his lip which jimin knows that jeongguk, if he were here, would absolutely shit a brick over.
"and how many security cameras in the area?"
"i figure the block where the bank is might have more cameras than usual, at least more than what we actually scoped out," seokjin pauses, pushes his glasses farther up his nose, and actually -- keep in mind that jimin sees this with his own eyes -- tilts his head for a millisecond and inhales sharply. "i put the number up at about twenty, nine of those from neighboring buildings with a good view."
"you can get all of them to, you know, stop...cameraing, right?"
"i can get them to malfunction, yeah, but--"
"i'm sorry," jimin interrupts. both namjoon and seokjin look at him. "i...what'd you just do with your head?"
seokjin narrows his eyes. "i...used it to...rob from hard working people. sorry?"
"no, i mean..." instead of trying to figure out a way to describe that weird head fucking tilt that jeongguk does literally all the time, jimin starts to ask something else. the one that jimin has never seen seokjin and do, a possible indicator that the two of them are finally getting it on. which would be a relief.
why would it be a relief?
jesus christ, why is jimin obsessed with the relationship status of the people who help him and his boyfriend rob banks?
what the fuck is wrong with him?
he still asks anyway: "wait, have you and jeongguk finally...?"
when seokjin responds simply with a perplexed expression, a quirked brow and a parted mouth like it's posed to ask the very question jimin was just asking himself. to explain, jimin uses his thumb and index finger to make a hole and then uses his other hand to fuck the makeshift hole with his other finger.
seokjin scoffs out a laugh and keeps with it as his eyes go back down to his laptop. he shakes his head. "jeongguk's not fingering my donut, jimin."
"what? no, that's--"
"he is fingering my ass from time to time, though."
namjoon starts coughing violently, probably choking on his own saliva.
4. pout
so jimin was pretty wrong, that's probably fair to say.
he was wronger than wrong, he was manos: the hands of fate levels of wrong and should not have happened.
it wasn't really his fault, was it? because jeongguk looked so desperate and seokjin is factually very hot, he thought the two of them should have been together for forever by now. for fuck's sake, they've picked up each other's traits and every time they go on a job they won't stop fucking singing duets to each other.
but apparently he was wrong.
he thought being around the two of them, so clearly wanting to be together but not for whatever reason, so clearly turned on by each other, so wrought with sexual and romantic tension, was bad. it turns out though, plot twist of the century, the two of them are much worse when they're actually together.
like now.
their latest job hasn't gone off without a hitch as they usually do. this one has given them enough unwarranted attention to force them to go into a hiding. laying low has its benefits though. they have an excuse not to do anything or go anywhere. plus the attention, fortunately in the age of the internet, doesn't last long. it fades for attention toward a new pop-star or reality star and soon they'll be forgotten enough by the public to get by.
the cabin they're staying in is warm, has a nice fireplace, smells like cinnamon, has plenty of food. there's two bedrooms, fully furnished, both with very nice duvets and rugs to keep the floor from being too cold to the touch. two perfectly good bedrooms.
so why the fuck are jeongguk and seokjin making out in the kitchen?
on the table no less?
jimin knocks on the wall. the two of them don't tear away from each other, jeongguk's hands are two busy curling into seokjin's hair and seokjin's are too busy trying to...figure out if jeongguk is wearing a butt pad? "something wrong with your bedroom?...guys."
it's seokjin who pulls away then. he looks at jimin, confused at an appearance that must be sudden from his point of view, and offers a disoriented smile. his lips are awfully red. "what was that?"
"bedroom," jimin says again. "is something wrong with your bedroom?"
"no, it's perfect," seokjin answers with a more certain smile while jeongguk nips at his neck. "very warm. nice pillows."
"okay...could you use your bedroom though? before you start fucking on the table?"
"that sounds like a lot of work."
the both of them are looking at jimin now, mussed hair, swollen lips, their panting breaths the only sound in the space. then they both start to wear identical expressions of...consideration? jeongguk sticks his tongue out his mouth a little as he weights the prose and cons and seokjin is doing the exact same thing. they didn't used to do the exact same thing at the same time, jesus christ.
it's jeongguk who inhale sharply and shrugs. "i think we're fine here, thanks for the offer though."
5. comedy
they're on an island resort far from their most recent steal which had been a jewelry store, highly esteemed, in the metropolitan area. they've been here for only two days now but they still haven't gotten used to it, the food is amazing, the sights are amazing, jimin's never felt more alive or in love as he has been feeling at these moments here.
he takes a sip from a coconut full of sweetened alcohol and lays back down, basking in the warm sunlight and resting his cheek against namjoon's bare chest. his eyes flutter closed. "can we stay here forever?"
there's a smile in namjoon's voice. "as much as i would love to, we have to get back after the heat wears off. more jobs to do."
"we can retire," jimin suggests with a hum. "we're still young. still very rich."
"money won't sustain us forever. we need a lot more if we're gonna retire."
"how much more?"
"...five more jobs, maybe."
"five? you promise?"
"i swear," namjoon says and kisses his forehead briefly. "five and then we can come back here and do nothing until we die."
"i'm gonna hold you to that."
on the lounge chair next to the one jimin is sharing with namjoon, jeongguk adjusts his sunglasses and sips idly at his drink. he thinks he's being subtle or that no one can tell he's staring again because he's wearing sunglasses. but jimin knows his eyes haven't left seokjin's form up ahead, swimming in the crystal blue water.
jeongguk licks his lips and sighs. "you know if he were words on a paper, he'd be a fine print?"
jimin tears his eyes open and looks over at jeongguk, eyes narrowed and shoulders very suddenly tense. "was that a fucking pun?"
jeongguk scoffs. "no."
"but--?"
"ugh," seokjin shudders when he runs back up to them. he's dripping wet and jeongguk suddenly looks very thirsty. seokjin takes jeongguk's drink right out of his hands and guzzles it down.
it's only when their hands were next to each other mid drink exchange that jimin noticed. on the second finger of jeongguk's left hand, the hand that was holding on desperately to his drink, is a silver band. that would be fine except on seokjin's second finger of left hand, the hand that took the drink without much of a fight, there is also a silver fucking band.
they're saying something when jimin interrupts, gawking. "did you two get fucking married?"
"what?" seokjin says. jeongguk looks confused too. they both look down at their hands, following jimin's gaze and then seokjin shrugs. "oh, yeah."
"what?"
"we weren't doing anything," jeongguk says by way of explanation. "the altar was free, we figured why not."
"wait what?"
"i got the rings a few months ago," jeongguk says too nonchalantly. "then the last couple threw up in the altar last night so the guy refused to marry them and we didn't have anything else to do."
seokjin shrugs. "simple as that."
"simple?" jimin gawks.